Wrestling with God: From Splitting to Wholeness

ByDianne Cohler-Esses

Romemu: Beit Midrash

The Purpose of this World

From God’s Optimism by Yehoshua November

When some Jews cannot explain the sorrow of their lives

they take a vow of atheism.

Then everywhere they go,

they curse the God they don’t believe exists.

But why, why don’t they grab Him by the lapels,

pull His formless body down into this lowly world,

and make Him explain.

After all, this is the purpose of creation–

to make this coarse realm a dwelling place

for His presence.

Splitting

בראשית ל״ב:א׳-ט׳

וַיַּשְׁכֵּ֨ם לָבָ֜ן בַּבֹּ֗קֶר וַיְנַשֵּׁ֧ק לְבָנָ֛יו וְלִבְנוֹתָ֖יו וַיְבָ֣רֶךְ אֶתְהֶ֑ם וַיֵּ֛לֶךְ וַיָּ֥שׇׁב לָבָ֖ן לִמְקֹמֽוֹ׃ וְיַעֲקֹ֖ב הָלַ֣ךְ לְדַרְכּ֑וֹ וַיִּפְגְּעוּ־ב֖וֹ מַלְאֲכֵ֥י אֱלֹהִֽים׃ וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יַעֲקֹב֙ כַּאֲשֶׁ֣ר רָאָ֔ם מַחֲנֵ֥ה אֱלֹהִ֖ים זֶ֑ה וַיִּקְרָ֛א שֵֽׁם־הַמָּק֥וֹם הַה֖וּא מַֽחֲנָֽיִם׃ {פ}
וַיִּשְׁלַ֨ח יַעֲקֹ֤ב מַלְאָכִים֙ לְפָנָ֔יו אֶל־עֵשָׂ֖ו אָחִ֑יו אַ֥רְצָה שֵׂעִ֖יר שְׂדֵ֥ה אֱדֽוֹם׃ וַיְצַ֤ו אֹתָם֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר כֹּ֣ה תֹאמְר֔וּן לַֽאדֹנִ֖י לְעֵשָׂ֑ו כֹּ֤ה אָמַר֙ עַבְדְּךָ֣ יַעֲקֹ֔ב עִם־לָבָ֣ן גַּ֔רְתִּי וָאֵחַ֖ר עַד־עָֽתָּה׃ וַֽיְהִי־לִי֙ שׁ֣וֹר וַחֲמ֔וֹר צֹ֖אן וְעֶ֣בֶד וְשִׁפְחָ֑ה וָֽאֶשְׁלְחָה֙ לְהַגִּ֣יד לַֽאדֹנִ֔י לִמְצֹא־חֵ֖ן בְּעֵינֶֽיךָ׃ וַיָּשֻׁ֙בוּ֙ הַמַּלְאָכִ֔ים אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֖ב לֵאמֹ֑ר בָּ֤אנוּ אֶל־אָחִ֙יךָ֙ אֶל־עֵשָׂ֔ו וְגַם֙ הֹלֵ֣ךְ לִקְרָֽאתְךָ֔ וְאַרְבַּע־מֵא֥וֹת אִ֖ישׁ עִמּֽוֹ׃ וַיִּירָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב מְאֹ֖ד וַיֵּ֣צֶר ל֑וֹ וַיַּ֜חַץ אֶת־הָעָ֣ם אֲשֶׁר־אִתּ֗וֹ וְאֶת־הַצֹּ֧אן וְאֶת־הַבָּקָ֛ר וְהַגְּמַלִּ֖ים לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אִם־יָב֥וֹא עֵשָׂ֛ו אֶל־הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הָאַחַ֖ת וְהִכָּ֑הוּ וְהָיָ֛ה הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הַנִּשְׁאָ֖ר לִפְלֵיטָֽה׃

Genesis 32:1-9

Early in the morning, Laban kissed his sons and daughters and bade them good-by; then Laban left on his journey homeward. Jacob went on his way, and messengers of God encountered him. When he saw them, Jacob said, “This is God’s camp.” So he named that place Mahanaim. Jacob sent messengers ahead to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom, and instructed them as follows, “Thus shall you say, ‘To my lord Esau, thus says your servant Jacob: I stayed with Laban and remained until now; I have acquired cattle, asses, sheep, and male and female slaves; and I send this message to my lord in the hope of gaining your favor.’” The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau; he himself is coming to meet you, and his retinue numbers four hundred.” Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety, he divided the people with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps, thinking, “If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, the other camp may yet escape.”

"Facing" Esau

בראשית ל״ב:י״ד-כ״ב

וַיָּ֥לֶן שָׁ֖ם בַּלַּ֣יְלָה הַה֑וּא וַיִּקַּ֞ח מִן־הַבָּ֧א בְיָד֛וֹ מִנְחָ֖ה לְעֵשָׂ֥ו אָחִֽיו׃ עִזִּ֣ים מָאתַ֔יִם וּתְיָשִׁ֖ים עֶשְׂרִ֑ים רְחֵלִ֥ים מָאתַ֖יִם וְאֵילִ֥ים עֶשְׂרִֽים׃ גְּמַלִּ֧ים מֵינִיק֛וֹת וּבְנֵיהֶ֖ם שְׁלֹשִׁ֑ים פָּר֤וֹת אַרְבָּעִים֙ וּפָרִ֣ים עֲשָׂרָ֔ה אֲתֹנֹ֣ת עֶשְׂרִ֔ים וַעְיָרִ֖ם עֲשָׂרָֽה׃ וַיִּתֵּן֙ בְּיַד־עֲבָדָ֔יו עֵ֥דֶר עֵ֖דֶר לְבַדּ֑וֹ וַ֤יֹּאמֶר אֶל־עֲבָדָיו֙ עִבְר֣וּ לְפָנַ֔י וְרֶ֣וַח תָּשִׂ֔ימוּ בֵּ֥ין עֵ֖דֶר וּבֵ֥ין עֵֽדֶר׃ וַיְצַ֥ו אֶת־הָרִאשׁ֖וֹן לֵאמֹ֑ר כִּ֣י יִֽפְגׇשְׁךָ֞ עֵשָׂ֣ו אָחִ֗י וּשְׁאֵֽלְךָ֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר לְמִי־אַ֙תָּה֙ וְאָ֣נָה תֵלֵ֔ךְ וּלְמִ֖י אֵ֥לֶּה לְפָנֶֽיךָ׃ וְאָֽמַרְתָּ֙ לְעַבְדְּךָ֣ לְיַעֲקֹ֔ב מִנְחָ֥ה הִוא֙ שְׁלוּחָ֔ה לַֽאדֹנִ֖י לְעֵשָׂ֑ו וְהִנֵּ֥ה גַם־ה֖וּא אַחֲרֵֽינוּ׃ וַיְצַ֞ו גַּ֣ם אֶת־הַשֵּׁנִ֗י גַּ֚ם אֶת־הַשְּׁלִישִׁ֔י גַּ֚ם אֶת־כׇּל־הַהֹ֣לְכִ֔ים אַחֲרֵ֥י הָעֲדָרִ֖ים לֵאמֹ֑ר כַּדָּבָ֤ר הַזֶּה֙ תְּדַבְּר֣וּן אֶל־עֵשָׂ֔ו בְּמֹצַאֲכֶ֖ם אֹתֽוֹ׃ וַאֲמַרְתֶּ֕ם גַּ֗ם הִנֵּ֛ה עַבְדְּךָ֥ יַעֲקֹ֖ב אַחֲרֵ֑ינוּ כִּֽי־אָמַ֞ר אֲכַפְּרָ֣ה פָנָ֗יו בַּמִּנְחָה֙ הַהֹלֶ֣כֶת לְפָנָ֔י וְאַחֲרֵי־כֵן֙ אֶרְאֶ֣ה פָנָ֔יו אוּלַ֖י יִשָּׂ֥א פָנָֽי׃ וַתַּעֲבֹ֥ר הַמִּנְחָ֖ה עַל־פָּנָ֑יו וְה֛וּא לָ֥ן בַּלַּֽיְלָה־הַה֖וּא בַּֽמַּחֲנֶֽה׃

Genesis 32:14-22

After spending the night there, he selected from what was at hand these presents for his brother Esau: 200 she-goats and 20 he-goats; 200 ewes and 20 rams; 30 milch camels with their colts; 40 cows and 10 bulls; 20 she-asses and 10 he-asses. These he put in the charge of his servants, drove by drove, and he told his servants, “Go on ahead, and keep a distance between droves.” He instructed the one in front as follows, “When my brother Esau meets you and asks you, ‘Who’s your master? Where are you going? And whose [animals] are these ahead of you?’ you shall answer, ‘Your servant Jacob’s; they are a gift sent to my lord Esau; and [Jacob] himself is right behind us.’” He gave similar instructions to the second one, and the third, and all the others who followed the droves, namely, “Thus and so shall you say to Esau when you reach him. And you shall add, ‘And your servant Jacob himself is right behind us.’” For he reasoned, “If I propitiate him with presents in advance, and then face him, perhaps he will show me favor.” And so the gift went on ahead, while he remained in camp that night.

Separation

בראשית ל״ב:כ״ג-כ״ד

וַיָּ֣קׇם ׀ בַּלַּ֣יְלָה ה֗וּא וַיִּקַּ֞ח אֶת־שְׁתֵּ֤י נָשָׁיו֙ וְאֶת־שְׁתֵּ֣י שִׁפְחֹתָ֔יו וְאֶת־אַחַ֥ד עָשָׂ֖ר יְלָדָ֑יו וַֽיַּעֲבֹ֔ר אֵ֖ת מַעֲבַ֥ר יַבֹּֽק׃ וַיִּ֨קָּחֵ֔ם וַיַּֽעֲבִרֵ֖ם אֶת־הַנָּ֑חַל וַֽיַּעֲבֵ֖ר אֶת־אֲשֶׁר־לֽוֹ׃

Genesis 32:23-24

That same night he arose, and taking his two wives, his two maidservants, and his eleven sons, he crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After taking them across the stream, he sent across all his possessions.

Left Alone and Wrestling

בראשית ל״ב:כ״ה-ל״ב

וַיִּוָּתֵ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב לְבַדּ֑וֹ וַיֵּאָבֵ֥ק אִישׁ֙ עִמּ֔וֹ עַ֖ד עֲל֥וֹת הַשָּֽׁחַר׃ וַיַּ֗רְא כִּ֣י לֹ֤א יָכֹל֙ ל֔וֹ וַיִּגַּ֖ע בְּכַף־יְרֵכ֑וֹ וַתֵּ֙קַע֙ כַּף־יֶ֣רֶךְ יַעֲקֹ֔ב בְּהֵאָֽבְק֖וֹ עִמּֽוֹ׃ וַיֹּ֣אמֶר שַׁלְּחֵ֔נִי כִּ֥י עָלָ֖ה הַשָּׁ֑חַר וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ לֹ֣א אֲשַֽׁלֵּחֲךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־בֵּרַכְתָּֽנִי׃ וַיֹּ֥אמֶר אֵלָ֖יו מַה־שְּׁמֶ֑ךָ וַיֹּ֖אמֶר יַעֲקֹֽב׃ וַיֹּ֗אמֶר לֹ֤א יַעֲקֹב֙ יֵאָמֵ֥ר עוֹד֙ שִׁמְךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־שָׂרִ֧יתָ עִם־אֱלֹהִ֛ים וְעִם־אֲנָשִׁ֖ים וַתּוּכָֽל׃ וַיִּשְׁאַ֣ל יַעֲקֹ֗ב וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הַגִּֽידָה־נָּ֣א שְׁמֶ֔ךָ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר לָ֥מָּה זֶּ֖ה תִּשְׁאַ֣ל לִשְׁמִ֑י וַיְבָ֥רֶךְ אֹת֖וֹ שָֽׁם׃ וַיִּקְרָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב שֵׁ֥ם הַמָּק֖וֹם פְּנִיאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־רָאִ֤יתִי אֱלֹהִים֙ פָּנִ֣ים אֶל־פָּנִ֔ים וַתִּנָּצֵ֖ל נַפְשִֽׁי׃ וַיִּֽזְרַֽח־ל֣וֹ הַשֶּׁ֔מֶשׁ כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר עָבַ֖ר אֶת־פְּנוּאֵ֑ל וְה֥וּא צֹלֵ֖עַ עַל־יְרֵכֽוֹ׃

Genesis 32:25-32

Jacob was left alone. And a figure wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he wrenched Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that the socket of his hip was strained as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for dawn is breaking.” But he answered, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” Said the other, “What is your name?” He replied, “Jacob.” Said he, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human, and have prevailed.” Jacob asked, “Pray tell me your name.” But he said, “You must not ask my name!” And he took leave of him there. So Jacob named the place Peniel, meaning, “I have seen a divine being face to face, yet my life has been preserved.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping on his hip.

Kicking Up Dust

רש"י על בראשית ל״ב:כ״ה

(ב) ויאבק איש. מְנַחֵם פֵּי' וַיִּתְעַפֵּר אִישׁ, לְשׁוֹן אָבָק, שֶׁהָיוּ מַעֲלִים עָפָר בְּרַגְלֵיהֶם עַ"י נִעְנוּעָם. וְלִי נִרְאֶה שֶׁהוּא לְשׁוֹן וַיִּתְקַשֵּׁר, וְלָשׁוֹן אֲרַמִּי הוּא, בָּתַר דַּאֲבִיקוּ בֵיהּ, וַאֲבֵיק לֵיהּ מֵיבַק – לְשׁוֹן עֲנִיבָה, שֶׁכֵּן דֶּרֶךְ שְׁנַיִם שֶׁמִּתְעַצְּמִים לְהַפִּיל אִישׁ אֶת רֵעֵהוּ, שֶׁחוֹבְקוֹ וְאוֹבְקוֹ בִּזְרוֹעוֹתָיו. וּפֵרְשׁוּ רַזִ"לִ שֶׁהוּא שָׂרוֹ שֶׁל עֵשָׂו (בראשית רבה):

Rashi on Genesis 32:25

(2) ויאבק איש AND A MAN WRESTLED — Menachem (ben Seruk) explains: “a man covered himself with dust”, taking the verb as connected in sense with אבק “dust”. It would mean that they were raising the dust with their feet through their movements. I, however, am of opinion that is means “he fastened himself on”, and that it is an Aramaic word, as (Sanhedrin 63b) “after they have joined (אביקו) it", and (Menachot 42a) “and he twined (the “Fringes”) with loops”. It denotes “intertwining”, for such is the manner of two people who make strong efforts to throw each other — one clasps the other and twines himself round him with his arms. Our Rabbis of blessed memory explained that he was Esau’s guardian angel (Genesis Rabbah 77:3).

Dawning

רש"י על בראשית ל״ב:כ״ז

כי עלה השחר. וְצָרִיךְ אֲנִי לוֹמַר שִׁירָה בַּיּוֹם (חולין צ"א): ברכתני. הוֹדֵה לִי עַל הַבְּרָכוֹת שֶׁבֵּרְכַנִי אָבִי, שֶׁעֵשָׂו מְעַרְעֵר עֲלֵיהֶן:

Rashi on Genesis 32:27

כי עלה השחר FOR THE DAY BREAKETH, and I have to sing God’s praise at day (Chullin 91b; Genesis Rabbah 78:1). ברכתני [EXCEPT] THOU BLESS ME — admit my right to the blessings which my father gave me and to which Esau lays claim.

The Sun Rose For Him

רש"י על בראשית ל״ב:ל״ב

ויזרח לו השמש. לְשׁוֹן בְּנֵי אָדָם הוּא כְּשֶׁהִגַּעְנוּ לְמָקוֹם פְּלוֹנִי הֵאִיר לָנוּ הַשַּׁחַר, זֶהוּ פְשׁוּטוֹ; וּמִ"אַ ויזרח לו לְצָרְכּוֹ – לְרַפְּאוֹת אֶת צָלַעְתּוֹ, כְּמָה דְּתֵימָא שֶׁמֶשׁ צְדָקָה וּמַרְפֵּא בִּכְנָפֶיהָ (מלאכי ג'); וְאוֹתָן שָׁעוֹת שֶׁמִּהֲרָה לִשְׁקֹעַ בִּשְׁבִילוֹ כְּשֶׁיָּצָא מִבְּאֵר שֶׁבַע מִהֲרָה לִזְרֹחַ בִּשְׁבִילוֹ: והוא צלע. הָיָה צוֹלֵעַ כְּשֶׁזָּרְחָה הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ:

Rashi on Genesis 32:32

ויזרח לו השמש AND THE SUN SHONE UPON HIM— This is the expression that people use: “When we reached such-and-such a place the dawn broke upon us”. This is its literal sense. But the Midrash says that לו means, “for his needs” — to heal his lameness. Thus, too, you read in Scripture a similar metaphor (Malachi 3:20) “the sun of righteousness with healing in its wings”. The hours that it had set before its time for his sake when he left Beer-Sheba (cp. Genesis 18:11) it now rose before its time for his sake (Sanhedrin 75b). והוא צלע AND HE LIMPED — He was limping when the sun rose.

Dawning

This is not a one time wrestling match. We will need to assert ourselves again and again, to practice standing tall and not collapsing or hiding or shutting down. We will, for a very long time, perhaps forever, be both Yaakov and Yisrael, and that is good. We need both energies.

But maybe over time, the darkness of the Yaakov pain can lessen. Maybe over time the darkness of feeling that smallness and insecurity, the darkness of feeling secondary, the pain of not fully mattering, maybe over time that can lessen and gradually dissipate. The Torah says that Yaakov fought the angel until alot hashahar (32:25) which the Ibn Ezra interprets as “until the going up” of the shehor, the darkness. We continually wrestle with this angel until the darkness lifts, until the darkness lifts inside us, and we are filled with the light of morning. Yaakov, stepping out the next morning, saw the sun shining brightly upon him even as he limped– Vayizrah lo hashemesh (32:32). The sun shined for him that morning. When the darkness lifts, we find out that the world was created for us, for each of us individually; we find out how much we matter in this world, that the sun rises for each one of us every morning, and we can, even as we limp from our injuries, walk forward in joy, in the joy of knowing our own vitality and inherent value. Surely the sun does shine especially for each one of us.

Dr. Rachel Anisfeld

https://rachelanisfeld.com/2022/12/08/essay-coming-to-know-our-own-strength-through-wrestling-parashat-vayishlach/

Wrestling with Esav

בראשית רבה ע״ז:ג׳

רַבִּי חָמָא בְּרַבִּי חֲנִינָא אָמַר שָׂרוֹ שֶׁל עֵשָׂו הָיָה, הוּא דַּהֲוָה אָמַר לֵיהּ (בראשית לג, י): כִּי עַל כֵּן רָאִיתִי פָנֶיךָ כִּרְאֹת פְּנֵי אֱלֹהִים וַתִּרְצֵנִי, מָשָׁל לְאַתְּלֵיטוֹס שֶׁהוּא עוֹמֵד וּמִתְגּוֹשֵׁשׁ עִם בְּנוֹ שֶׁל מֶלֶךְ, תָּלָה עֵינָיו וְרָאָה אֶת הַמֶּלֶךְ עוֹמֵד עַל גַּבָּיו וְהִרְפִּישׁ עַצְמוֹ לְפָנָיו, הֲדָא הוּא דִכְתִיב (בראשית לב, כו): וַיַּרְא כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ, אָמַר רַבִּי לֵוִי וַיַּרְא בַּשְּׁכִינָה כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ. אָמַר רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה אֵין אָנוּ יוֹדְעִים מִי נָצַח אִם מַלְאָךְ אִם יַעֲקֹב, וּמִן מַה דִּכְתִיב (בראשית לב, כה): וַיֵּאָבֵק אִישׁ עִמּוֹ, הֱוֵי מִי נִתְמַלֵּא אָבָק הָאִישׁ שֶׁעִמּוֹ. אָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא בַּר יִצְחָק אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, הוּא בָּא אֵלֶיךָ וַחֲמִשָּׁה קְמֵיעִין בְּיָדוֹ, זְכוּתוֹ, וּזְכוּת אָבִיו, זְכוּת אִמּוֹ, וּזְכוּת זְקֵנוֹ, וּזְכוּת זְקֶנְתּוֹ. מְדֹד עַצְמְךָ אִם אַתָּה יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד אֲפִלּוּ בִּזְכוּתוֹ, מִיָּד, וַיַּרְא כִּי לֹא יָכֹל לוֹ. מָשָׁל לְמֶלֶךְ שֶׁהָיָה לוֹ כֶּלֶב אַגְרִיּוֹן וַאֲרִי נֵמִירוֹן, וְהָיָה הַמֶּלֶךְ נוֹטֵל אֶת בְּנוֹ וּמְלַבְּבוֹ בָּאֲרִי, שֶׁאִם יָבוֹא הַכֶּלֶב לְהִזְדַּוֵּג לוֹ יֹאמַר לוֹ הַמֶּלֶךְ אֲרִי לֹא הָיָה יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד בּוֹ וְאַתָּה מְבַקֵּשׁ לְהִזְדַּוֵּג לוֹ. כָּךְ שֶׁאִם יָבוֹאוּ אֻמּוֹת הָעוֹלָם לְהִזְדַּוֵּג לְיִשְׂרָאֵל, יֹאמַר לָהֶם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא שַׂרְכֶם לֹא הָיָה יָכוֹל לַעֲמֹד בּוֹ וְאַתֶּם מְבַקְּשִׁים לְהִזְדַּוֵּג לְבָנָיו. (בראשית לב, כו): וַיִּגַּע בְּכַף יְרֵכוֹ, נָגַע בַּצַּדִּיקִים וּבַצַּדִּיקוֹת בַּנְּבִיאִים וּבַנְּבִיאוֹת שֶׁהֵן עֲתִידִין לַעֲמֹד מִמֶּנּוּ, וְאֵיזֶה זֶה, זֶה דוֹרוֹ שֶׁל שְׁמַד. (בראשית לב, כו): וַתֵּקַע כַּף יֶרֶךְ יַעֲקֹב, רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה וְרַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר, רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אָמַר שְׁעָיָא, רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי אַסֵּי אָמַר סִידְקָהּ כְּדָג. רַב נַחְמָן בַּר יַעֲקֹב אָמַר פֵּרְשָׁהּ מִמְּקוֹמָהּ, כְּדִכְתִיב (יחזקאל כג, יח): וַתֵּקַע נַפְשִׁי וגו' כַּאֲשֶׁר נָקְעָה נַפְשִׁי, אָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא בַּר יִצְחָק כָּל אוֹתוֹ הַלַּיְלָה הָיוּ שְׁנֵיהֶן פּוֹגְעִין זֶה בָּזֶה, מָגִינֵיהּ דְּדֵין לָקֳבֵל מָגִינֵיהּ דְּדֵין, כֵּיוָן שֶׁעָלָה עַמּוּד הַשַּׁחַר (בראשית לב, כז): וַיֹּאמֶר שַׁלְחֵנִי כִּי עָלָה הַשָּׁחַר.

Bereshit Rabbah 77:3

Rabbi Chama bar Chanina said, "He was the ministering angel of Esav. And that is [what he meant] when he said to him, 'For this have I seen your face as I saw the face of God and you have accepted me' (Genesis 33:10). There is a parable about an athlete that got up and wrestled with the son of the king. He lifted his eyes and he saw that the king was standing behind him and [so] he fell to the ground in front of [the son]. This is what [is meant by that which] is written, 'and he saw that he could not overcome him.'" Rabbi Levi said, "'And he saw' the Divine Presence 'and he could not overcome him.'" Said Rabbi Berachia, "We do not know who won, whether it was the angel or whether it was Yakov. And from that which it is written, 'and a man wrestled (vayitabek, the root of which contains the letters that spell dust) with him,' prove who was covered in dust - the man that was with him.' Said Rabbi Chananya bar Yitschak, "The Holy One, blessed be He, said to him, 'He is coming against you and he has five charms in his hand: his merit, the merit of his father, the merit of his mother, the merit of his grandfather, and the merit of his grandmother - measure yourself [and see] if you can stand even against his merit.' Immediately, 'And he saw and he could not overcome him.' There is a parable of a king that had a wild dog and a tamed lion. And the king took his son and endeared him to the lion, [such that] if the dog would take him on, the king would say to him, 'The lion was not able to stand in front of him and you want to take him on?' So [too], if the nations of the world will come to take on Israel, the Holy One, blessed be He, will say to them, 'Your ministering angel was not able to stand in front of him and you want to take on his children?'" "And he touched the hollow of his thigh" - he touched the righteous men and women, the prophets and prophetesses, which were to arise from him in the future. And which is this? The generation of persecution (shemad). "And he touched the hollow of Yakov's thigh" - Rabbi Berachia and Rabbi Eliezer [disagreed about this]: Rabbi Eliezer said, "He pressed it down." Rabbi Berachia said in the name of Rabbi Assi, "He split it like a fish." Rabbi Nachman bar Yakov said, "He separated it from its place, as it is written (Ezekiel 23:18), 'and my soul was separated etc... like my soul was separated' [in which the context shows that the verb for touching also means separating]." Said Rabbi Chanina bar Yitschak, "That whole night both of them were striking each other, the shield of this one across from the shield of that one. Once the sun rose, 'And he said, send me away from here as the sun has risen.'

…The process of Adam becoming whole is achieved at the cost of his “tzela”. The price Jacob pays for his bifurcation and wrestling with self at Jakob - the injury that will make him whole in the sense of achieving integrity - is his limping away, (tzolea) from the encounter. From “Wrestling Jacob: Deception, Identity and Freudian Slips in Genesis”, by Rav Shmuel Klitzner, Pg 117

… At first, the narrative voice of the text (verse 25) simply calls him ish - a man. However Jacob refers to him as (the) Lord (verse31). In verse 29, the stranger may be referring to himself as both divine and as human when he says to Jacob, ‘you have striven (competed) with divine and with human.’ In other words, instead of seeing this verse as a reference to separate struggles with divine forces and human adversaries in separate unidentified episodes, it is likely - given the two variant descriptions surrounding this verse- that the stranger is at once identifying himself as both divine and human.

Wrestling Jacob, Klitsner pg. 124

The Encounter

בראשית ל״ג:א׳-י״א

וַיִּשָּׂ֨א יַעֲקֹ֜ב עֵינָ֗יו וַיַּרְא֙ וְהִנֵּ֣ה עֵשָׂ֣ו בָּ֔א וְעִמּ֕וֹ אַרְבַּ֥ע מֵא֖וֹת אִ֑ישׁ וַיַּ֣חַץ אֶת־הַיְלָדִ֗ים עַל־לֵאָה֙ וְעַל־רָחֵ֔ל וְעַ֖ל שְׁתֵּ֥י הַשְּׁפָחֽוֹת׃ וַיָּ֧שֶׂם אֶת־הַשְּׁפָח֛וֹת וְאֶת־יַלְדֵיהֶ֖ן רִֽאשֹׁנָ֑ה וְאֶת־לֵאָ֤ה וִֽילָדֶ֙יהָ֙ אַחֲרֹנִ֔ים וְאֶת־רָחֵ֥ל וְאֶת־יוֹסֵ֖ף אַחֲרֹנִֽים׃ וְה֖וּא עָבַ֣ר לִפְנֵיהֶ֑ם וַיִּשְׁתַּ֤חוּ אַ֙רְצָה֙ שֶׁ֣בַע פְּעָמִ֔ים עַד־גִּשְׁתּ֖וֹ עַד־אָחִֽיו׃ וַיָּ֨רׇץ עֵשָׂ֤ו לִקְרָאתוֹ֙ וַֽיְחַבְּקֵ֔הוּ וַיִּפֹּ֥ל עַל־צַוָּארָ֖ו וַׄיִּׄשָּׁׄקֵ֑ׄהׄוּׄ וַיִּבְכּֽוּ׃ וַיִּשָּׂ֣א אֶת־עֵינָ֗יו וַיַּ֤רְא אֶת־הַנָּשִׁים֙ וְאֶת־הַיְלָדִ֔ים וַיֹּ֖אמֶר מִי־אֵ֣לֶּה לָּ֑ךְ וַיֹּאמַ֕ר הַיְלָדִ֕ים אֲשֶׁר־חָנַ֥ן אֱלֹהִ֖ים אֶת־עַבְדֶּֽךָ׃ וַתִּגַּ֧שְׁןָ הַשְּׁפָח֛וֹת הֵ֥נָּה וְיַלְדֵיהֶ֖ן וַתִּֽשְׁתַּחֲוֶֽיןָ׃ וַתִּגַּ֧שׁ גַּם־לֵאָ֛ה וִילָדֶ֖יהָ וַיִּֽשְׁתַּחֲו֑וּ וְאַחַ֗ר נִגַּ֥שׁ יוֹסֵ֛ף וְרָחֵ֖ל וַיִּֽשְׁתַּחֲוֽוּ׃ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר מִ֥י לְךָ֛ כׇּל־הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הַזֶּ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר פָּגָ֑שְׁתִּי וַיֹּ֕אמֶר לִמְצֹא־חֵ֖ן בְּעֵינֵ֥י אֲדֹנִֽי׃ וַיֹּ֥אמֶר עֵשָׂ֖ו יֶשׁ־לִ֣י רָ֑ב אָחִ֕י יְהִ֥י לְךָ֖ אֲשֶׁר־לָֽךְ׃ וַיֹּ֣אמֶר יַעֲקֹ֗ב אַל־נָא֙ אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ וְלָקַחְתָּ֥ מִנְחָתִ֖י מִיָּדִ֑י כִּ֣י עַל־כֵּ֞ן רָאִ֣יתִי פָנֶ֗יךָ כִּרְאֹ֛ת פְּנֵ֥י אֱלֹהִ֖ים וַתִּרְצֵֽנִי׃ קַח־נָ֤א אֶת־בִּרְכָתִי֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר הֻבָ֣את לָ֔ךְ כִּֽי־חַנַּ֥נִי אֱלֹהִ֖ים וְכִ֣י יֶשׁ־לִי־כֹ֑ל וַיִּפְצַר־בּ֖וֹ וַיִּקָּֽח׃

Genesis 33:1-11

Looking up, Jacob saw Esau coming, with a retinue of four hundred. He divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maids, putting the maids and their children first, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. He himself went on ahead and bowed low to the ground seven times until he was near his brother. Esau ran to greet him. He embraced him and, falling on his neck, he kissed him; and they wept. Looking about, he saw the women and the children. “Who,” he asked, “are these with you?” He answered, “The children with whom God has favored your servant.” Then the maids, with their children, came forward and bowed low; next Leah, with her children, came forward and bowed low; and last, Joseph and Rachel came forward and bowed low. And he asked, “What do you mean by all this company which I have met?” He answered, “To gain my lord’s favor.” Esau said, “I have enough, my brother; let what you have remain yours.” But Jacob said, “No, I pray you; if you would do me this favor, accept from me this gift; for to see your face is like seeing the face of God, and you have received me favorably. Please accept my present which has been brought to you, for God has favored me and I have plenty.” And when he urged him, he accepted.

Hevrutah:

Given what we've studied so far, do you think Jacob is on the Path to Wholeness? Why or why not?
Read selected commentary below.
Which commentaries add to your understanding of the story?
Which add to your understanding of wholeness?

Facing Esav

"... Jacob cannot fully face his own past unless he seeks reconciliation with Esau, and this he can only do if he becomes a different person. When Jacob becomes Israel he can achieve reconciliation with his brother."

-Gunther Plaut 233

Oneness:

“And Jacob remained alone” (Gen 32:24). It is written “There is none like the God

of Jeshurun” (Deut 33:26).

R Berekhiah in the name of R. Simon said: “There is none like God.” And who is like God? Jeshurun! — [That is,] Grandfather Israel.

Just as it is written of the Holy One blessed be He “and the Lord alone shall be

exalted on that day” (Isa 2:11), so too Jacob “And Jacob was left alone” (ibid).

—Genesis Rabbah 77.1

Rashi unless you have blessed me: Acknowledge for me the blessings [with] which my father blessed me, which Esau is contesting.

ברכתני: הודה לי על הברכות שברכני אבי, שעשו מערער עליהם:

no… Jacob: It shall no longer be said that the blessings came to you through trickery (עָקְבָה) and deceit, but with nobility and openness, and ultimately, the Holy One, blessed be He, will reveal Himself to you in Beth-el and change your name, and there He will bless you, and I will be there.“ He then acknowledged them (the blessings) as being his (Jacob’s). This is [the meaning of] what is written (Hos. 12:5) ”He strove with an angel and prevailed over him; he wept and supplicated him,“ [meaning that] the angel wept and supplicated him. With what did he supplicate him? ”In Beth-el he will find Him, and there He will speak with us“ (ibid). Wait for me until He speaks with us there. Jacob, however, did not consent, [to release the angel] and, against his (the angel’s) will, he (the angel) acknowledged them (the blessings) as being his (Jacob’s). This is [the meaning of] ”And he blessed him there," that he entreated him to wait, but he did not wish [to do so]. — [from The Zohar, vol. 3, 45a]

Rachel Barenblatt—The Velveteen Rabbi

When Esau saw him he came running.

They embraced and wept, each grateful

to see the profile he knew better than his own.

You didn't need to send gifts, Esau said

but Jacob introduced his wives and children,

his prosperity, and Esau acquiesced.

For one impossible moment Jacob reached out.

To see your face, he said, is like seeing

the face of God: brother, it is so good!

But when Esau replied, let us journey together

from this day forward as we have never done

and I will proceed at your pace, Jacob demurred.

The children are frail, and the flocks:

you go on ahead, he said, and I will follow

but he did not follow.

Once Esau headed out toward Seir

Jacob went the other way, to Shechem, where

his sons would slaughter an entire village.

And again the possibility

of inhabiting a different kind of story

vanished into the unforgiving air.

"Maximus" by D.H. Lawrence

God is older that the sun and moon

and the eye cannot behold him

nor voice describe him.

But a naked man, a stranger, leaned on the gate

with his cloak over his arm, waiting to be asked in.

So I called him: Come in, if you will!

He came in slowly, and sat down by the hearth.

I said to him: And what is your name?

He looked at me without answer, but such a loveliness

entered me, I smiled to myself, saying: He is God!

So he said: Hermes!

God is older than the sun and moon

and the eye cannot behold him

nor the voice describe him:

and still, this is the God Hermes, sitting by my hearth.

בראשית ל״ג:י״ב-כ׳

(יב) וַיֹּ֖אמֶר נִסְעָ֣ה וְנֵלֵ֑כָה וְאֵלְכָ֖ה לְנֶגְדֶּֽךָ׃ (יג) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֵלָ֗יו אֲדֹנִ֤י יֹדֵ֙עַ֙ כִּֽי־הַיְלָדִ֣ים רַכִּ֔ים וְהַצֹּ֥אן וְהַבָּקָ֖ר עָל֣וֹת עָלָ֑י וּדְפָקוּם֙ י֣וֹם אֶחָ֔ד וָמֵ֖תוּ כׇּל־הַצֹּֽאן׃ (יד) יַעֲבׇר־נָ֥א אֲדֹנִ֖י לִפְנֵ֣י עַבְדּ֑וֹ וַאֲנִ֞י אֶֽתְנָהֲלָ֣ה לְאִטִּ֗י לְרֶ֨גֶל הַמְּלָאכָ֤ה אֲשֶׁר־לְפָנַי֙ וּלְרֶ֣גֶל הַיְלָדִ֔ים עַ֛ד אֲשֶׁר־אָבֹ֥א אֶל־אֲדֹנִ֖י שֵׂעִֽירָה׃ (טו) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר עֵשָׂ֔ו אַצִּֽיגָה־נָּ֣א עִמְּךָ֔ מִן־הָעָ֖ם אֲשֶׁ֣ר אִתִּ֑י וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ לָ֣מָּה זֶּ֔ה אֶמְצָא־חֵ֖ן בְּעֵינֵ֥י אֲדֹנִֽי׃ (טז) וַיָּ֩שׇׁב֩ בַּיּ֨וֹם הַה֥וּא עֵשָׂ֛ו לְדַרְכּ֖וֹ שֵׂעִֽירָה׃ (יז) וְיַעֲקֹב֙ נָסַ֣ע סֻכֹּ֔תָה וַיִּ֥בֶן ל֖וֹ בָּ֑יִת וּלְמִקְנֵ֙הוּ֙ עָשָׂ֣ה סֻכֹּ֔ת עַל־כֵּ֛ן קָרָ֥א שֵׁם־הַמָּק֖וֹם סֻכּֽוֹת׃ {ס} (יח) וַיָּבֹא֩ יַעֲקֹ֨ב שָׁלֵ֜ם עִ֣יר שְׁכֶ֗ם אֲשֶׁר֙ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ כְּנַ֔עַן בְּבֹא֖וֹ מִפַּדַּ֣ן אֲרָ֑ם וַיִּ֖חַן אֶת־פְּנֵ֥י הָעִֽיר׃ (יט) וַיִּ֜קֶן אֶת־חֶלְקַ֣ת הַשָּׂדֶ֗ה אֲשֶׁ֤ר נָֽטָה־שָׁם֙ אׇהֳל֔וֹ מִיַּ֥ד בְּנֵֽי־חֲמ֖וֹר אֲבִ֣י שְׁכֶ֑ם בְּמֵאָ֖ה קְשִׂיטָֽה׃ (כ) וַיַּצֶּב־שָׁ֖ם מִזְבֵּ֑חַ וַיִּ֨קְרָא־ל֔וֹ אֵ֖ל אֱלֹהֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃ {ס}

Genesis 33:12-20

(12) And [Esau] said, “Let us start on our journey, and I will proceed at your pace.” (13) But he said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds, which are nursing, are a care to me; if they are driven hard a single day, all the flocks will die. (14) Let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I travel slowly, at the pace of the cattle before me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.” (15) Then Esau said, “Let me assign to you some of the people who are with me.” But he said, “Oh no, my lord is too kind to me!” (16) So Esau started back that day on his way to Seir. (17) But Jacob journeyed on to Succoth, and built a house for himself and made stalls for his cattle; that is why the place was called Succoth. (18) Jacob arrived safe in the city of Shechem which is in the land of Canaan—having come thus from Paddan-aram—and he encamped before the city. (19) The parcel of land where he pitched his tent he purchased from the kin of Hamor, Shechem’s father, for a hundred kesitahs. (20) He set up an altar there, and called it El-elohe-yisrael.