(17) You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kin but incur no guilt on their account.
The following passage has been cited for the proposition that we should not embarrass the sinner who has repented.
Those who love it will eat its fruit.
Prohibited speech that harms others is damaging not only to those spoken about, but also to the speaker and the listener.
Guards himself from trouble.
The Gemara comments: This opinion disagrees with that of Reish Lakish, for Reish Lakish said: If a Torah scholar sins, he is not ostracized at all in public, as it is stated: “Therefore, shall you fall in the day, and the prophet also shall fall with you in the night” (Hosea 4:5). This is explained to mean: If a prophet or any other important person sins, his offense should be concealed like the night and not punished in public. With regard to this issue, it was related that when a Torah scholar would become liable to be punished with excommunication before Mar Zutra the Pious, Mar Zutra would first excommunicate himself as a mark of respect for the Torah scholar, and afterward he would ostracize the Torah scholar. This self-imposed excommunication was meant only as a show of honor to the other Torah scholar, and therefore when Mar Zutra would enter his house of lodging, he would release his own excommunication, and afterward he would release the other’s excommunication. Rav Giddel said that Rav said: A Torah scholar may ostracize himself, and he may similarly release himself from self-imposed ostracism. Rav Pappa said: I have good coming to me, for I am praiseworthy, as I have never ostracized a Torah scholar. The Gemara asks about this: If so, when a Torah scholar was liable to be ostracized, what would he do? The Gemara answers: He did as they do in the West, Eretz Yisrael, where they appoint a court to give a Torah scholar lashes, but they do not appoint a court to ostracize him. That is to say, lashes were preferred over ostracism.
(7) For the lips of a priest guard knowledge,
And rulings are sought from his mouth; For the lips of a priest guard knowledge, / And rulings are sought from his mouth
For he is a messenger of GOD of Hosts.
In the below passage we learn about the legacy of Acher, first known as Elisha ben Abuya. Elisha ben Abuyah (Hebrew: אלישע בן אבויה) was a rabbi and Jewish religious authority born in Jerusalem sometime before 70 CE. After he adopted a worldview considered heretical by his fellow Tannaim, the rabbis of the Talmud refrained from relating teachings in his name and referred to him as the "Other One" (אחר, Acher)
The Gemara relates: The daughter of Aḥer came before Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi and said to him: Rabbi, provide me with sustenance, as she was in need of food. He said to her: Whose daughter are you? She said to him: I am the daughter of Aḥer. He said to her, angrily: Is there still of his seed remaining in the world? But isn’t it stated: “He shall have neither son nor grandson among his people or any remaining in his dwellings” (Job 18:19)? She said to him: Remember his Torah, and do not remember his deeds. Immediately, fire descended and licked Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi’s bench. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi wept and said: If God protects the honor of those who treat the Torah with contempt in such a manner, as Aḥer despised the Torah and relinquished its teachings, how much more so would He do for those who treat it with honor. The Gemara poses a question: And Rabbi Meir, how could he learn Torah from the mouth of Aḥer? But didn’t Rabba bar bar Ḥana say that Rabbi Yoḥanan said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “For the priest’s lips should keep knowledge, and they should seek Torah from his mouth; for he is an angel of the Lord of hosts” (Malachi 2:7)? The verse teaches: If the rabbi is similar to an angel of the Lord of hosts, perfect in his ways, they should seek Torah from his mouth; but if not, they should not seek Torah from his mouth. Reish Lakish said: Rabbi Meir found a verse and interpreted it homiletically: “Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to My knowledge” (Proverbs 22:17). It does not state “to their knowledge,” but “to My knowledge.” In other words, one must listen to the words of the Sages, despite their flaws, provided that their opinion concurs with that of God. Rav Ḥanina said that one can find support for this idea from here: “Listen, daughter and consider, and incline your ear; forget also your own people and your father’s house” (Psalms 45:11), which likewise indicates that one must listen to the words of a Sage while forgetting, i.e., ignoring, the faulty aspects of his teachings.
Let Them Talk: The Mitzvah to Speak Lashon Hara
By Rabbi Mark Dratch - January 19, 2006
Examples of positive, constructive intent or purpose (to'elet) from the Chofetz Hayim, Hilchot Lashon Hara, include:
- protecting others from harm;
- preventing others from learning inappropriate behavior;
- shaming the subject into repenting;
- clearing one’s own reputation;
-
asking for advice; and
for one’s own psychological benefit. Hafetz Hayyim locates this to’elet in the verse, “Anxiety in the heart of a man weighs him down; but a good word makes him glad” (Prov. 12:25), i.e., sharing burdens with others is therapeutic.
- Hafetz Hayyim lists seven qualifications which must be fulfilled when lashon hara is spoken for a to’elet. The following are those conditions with explanations as to how they relate to abuse victims:
- One has first hand knowledge of the problem and is not merely repeating hearsay, or he has verified the information. Certainly a victim has first hand knowledge of the abuse. How certain others must be before they repeat the allegations will be discussed later.
- Careful consideration and judgment should be given to determine whether or not the act is actually a prohibited one. Every act of abuse is prohibited.33
- One should first rebuke the transgressor in a private, calm, and appropriate manner in order to motivate him to change his ways. Only if one is
unsuccessful in achieving his ends in a private manner may she then publicize the misdeed. Private confrontation may be difficult for a victim who cannot bring herself emotionally or psychologically to confront her abuser. It may also be physically dangerous for her to do so.34 - One should not exaggerate.
- One’s intention should be for a to’elet (constructive purpose) and not for any personal gain or benefit. In addition, one should not be motivated by hatred for the subject of the report.
- One should try to achieve the constructive result without speaking lashon hara, if possible.
- One should not cause more harm to the subject than he would otherwise
deserve by law.
Those who repeat the reports of abuse are bound by the same seven qualifications listed above:
- If one does not have first hand knowledge of the problem and is repeating hearsay, he must verify the information and know that it is true.
- One should not immediately accept another’s characterization of an act as prohibited. Careful consideration and judgment should be given to personally determine whether or not the act is a prohibited one.
- One should first rebuke the transgressor, if possible, in a calm and appropriate manner in order to motivate him to change his ways. Only if one is unsuccessful, may he publicize the misbehavior.
- One should not exaggerate. One’s intention should be for a to’elet and not for any personal gain or benefit. In addition, one should not be motivated by any latent hatred for the subject of the report.
- One should try to achieve the constructive result without speaking lashon hara, if possible.
- One should not cause more harm to the subject than he would otherwise deserve by law.