Back in the '70s, there was a shaliach to Bnei Akiva named Amnon Shapira. Today, Amnon is 85 years old, a retired college lecturer, and lives on Kibbutz Tirat Tzvi, where he continues to write and be involved in numerous causes.
Last month, after the passing of the great Rav Adin Steinsaltz, Amnon wrote a brief letter to the editor in one of the many parsha sheets that appear in Israel.
He wrote that much had been written about Rav Steinsaltz, but one thing was missing. Rav Steinsaltz, as is well known, was reared in a secular communist home, and in one of his books, which dealt with teshuva, the very last sentence was a personal reflection.
Wrote Rav Steinsaltz:
All of this occurred because many years ago, a small boy, born in Yerushalayim entered a neighborhood shul, he tugged at the hem of an elderly man and bothered him with a question. The man, instead of shooing him away, answered him with warmth.
Wrote Amnon:
From this I have one request, whether those who of my generation, or those who are younger, if a small child who you don't know bothers you in shul with questions, answer him as if he was your grandchild, maybe from that child will blossom another Rabbi Steinsaltz
This morning, we just finished reading the first of two stories of parent and child - the story of Hagar and Yishmael, and tomorrow we will read the story of Avraham and Yitzchak.
And what makes both of these stories so remarkable is that both are enveloped in silence. Throughout the first story, Hagar says, not a thing to Yishmael. And for three days, Avraham and Yitzchak walk together towards Har HaMoriah with the only conversation recorded between parent and child happening towards the end of those days when Yitzchak asks his father, איה השה לעולה - where is the lamb for the offering?
According to Rav Hirsch, Hagar's actions and silence were a failure of parenting, while Avraham's actions and silence are viewed as the ultimate act of faith.
How can that be?
Perhaps the answer is in the way each treated their child.
When Hagar faced an existential crisis, ותשלך את הילד - she cast off the child and could not look.
While Avraham when he faced his existential crisis - וילכו שניהם יחדיו - walked together with his son.
So very often, it's not the words that we say, but the way we interact with others, the hand we might hold, or the expression of care and concern we may share.
For a young Rav Steinsaltz, that expression and care so many years earlier made all the difference in his life, a life that impacted upon the lives of 100's of thousands of Jews.
This Rosh Hashana, for the very first time our shul is without young children listening to the shofar, sitting with their parents, or even running up and down the aisles - and the silence is deafening and the absence is frightful. Not only because we wonder - WHEN will they return, but HOW will they return after being absent for so many months of their young lives.
Please G-d they will be able to return soon - and when they do let's make sure that we take every opportunity to re-engage with them, and welcome them. And in the meantime, let's pray for the day when things will be safe and help transform their lives and our's l'tov.
And maybe that should be our added כוונה as we begin to daven mussaf - to remember that it was the test Avraham passed by walking with his son, that assured the future of our nation.