Putting Yourself in a Place of Compassion

The night of Kol Nidre has for centuries been dedicated to matters referred to as “beyn adam l’chaveroh” - interpersonal relationships. In multiple ways and at varied times, God has made it clear that being the best versions of ourselves in relationship with each other comes before any efforts at improving or enhancing our relationships with Heaven. So Kol Nidre night is a night of aspiration. Tonight we strengthen our bonds with our relatives, we contemplate how we engage with neighbors and we consider what might yet be possible for society as a whole. Kol Nidre is a night of aspirations.

Late this summer I read the newly released book The Buddhist on Death Row, a biographical about a man wrongly sentenced to death. I confess (as this is an evening of confessions) that I did not enjoy the book as much as I expected; but as I neared the end of the book, I read one passage that redeemed all 240 pages. As the condemned man on death row, Jarvis Masters worked with Buddhists masters to meditate his way towards accepting that he would most probably never get released from Sam Quinten. One of his most difficult challenges was his attitude towards the judge who issued his sentence. A turning point came for him in a conversation with one of his meditation masters, more than two decades after being sentenced. Masters said, “I do not know if I can completely forgive her, either. But when I think of her and see her as a person like the rest of us, flawed, trying to get through life, it feels different.” His lama responded, “That feeling is compassion.”

Compassion allows relationships to transcend personal flaws. Is compassion what we seek from God? When we sing together, “HaShem, HaShem K-el rachum v’chanun”, we are calling out to a God of compassion. Who needs a God of compassion if not people who are willing to own their personal imperfections yet still seek spiritual renewal? Who deserves the compassion of God if not a person who practices compassion?

The Amish have a saying, “Instead of putting others in their place, first put yourself in their place”. The Dalai Lama said that “compassion is a sign of strength”.

“Ado-noi oze l’amo yitayn, Ado-noi yevorech et Amo bashalom - “May God grant strength to Heaven’s chosen people, may grant bless that people with peace”. May God help us instill compassion, a foundation of spiritual strength, in all of our relationships and aspirations. Then we will secure peace for ourselves as well as for those who seek our love.