This most ancient mourning ritual links us back to our ancestors: Torah teaches that when Jacob believed his son Joseph was dead, he tore his clothes in anguish; so too did King David and his men upon learning of the deaths of Jonathan and Saul. It is a way of showing externally what is true internally: something has been torn and broken.
As the tear or cut is made, the family recites the following blessing:
Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha’olam dayan ha’emet.
Blessed are You, Adonai Our God, Ruler of the Universe, the True Judge.
Kriah is always performed standing. The act of standing shows strength at a time of grief. A cut is made on the left side of the clothing for parents — over the heart — and on the right side for all other relatives. Sometimes people choose to express deep feelings of grief by cutting on the left side for relatives other than their parents.The torn garment or ribbon is worn during the seven days of shiva (but not on Shabbat and festival days). Some people continue the practice for the 30-day period of mourning [sheloshim].
we turn to. You at this time of great grief.
We turn to You in trust and pray that David Caler be granted perfect rest in Your sheltering presence.
Welcome him gently in the world to come, enfold him with love.
Much was left unfinished in his life, yet we know also the good that he tried to do.
May those acts of goodness continue to bring meaning to our lives, and may the errors in his life be forgiven.
Into Your hand is the spirit committed; redeem it, O God of Mercy and Truth.
And death a destination
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
And youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
And ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to desecration
And then perhaps to wisdom.
From weakness to strength or
From strength to weakness
And often back again;
From health to sickness,
And we pray to health again.
From offence to forgiveness,
From loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude,
From pain to compassion,
From grief to understanding,
From fear to faith.
From defeat to defeat to defeat
Until, not looking backwards or ahead,
We see that victory lies not
At some high point along the way
But in having made the journey
Step by step,
A sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning
And death a destination
And life is a journey.
--Rabbi Alvin Fine from Jewish Reform high holiday prayer book, Gates of Repentance
(1) A psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want (2) God makes me lie down in green pastures; leads me to still waters; (3) Godrenews my life and guides me in right paths for the sake of God's Divine Name. (4) Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no harm, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me. (5) You spread a table for me in full view of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my drink is abundant. (6) Only goodness and steadfast love shall pursue me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for many long years.
(1) A song for ascents. I turn my eyes to the mountains; from where will my help come? (2) My help comes from the LORD, maker of heaven and earth. (3) God will not let your foot give way; your guardian will not slumber; (4) See, the guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps! (5) The LORD is your guardian, the LORD is your protection at your right hand. (6) By day the sun will not strike you, nor the moon by night. (7) The LORD will guard you from all harm; God will guard your life. (8) The LORD will guard your going and coming now and forever.
אֵל מָלֵא רַחֲמִים שׁוֹכֵן בַּמְּרוֹמִים,
הַמְצֵא מְנוּחָה נְכוֹנָה עַל כַּנְפֵי הַשְּׁכִינָה,
בְּמַעֲלוֹת קְדוֹשִׁים וּטְהוֹרִים
כְּזוֹהַר הָרָקִיעַ מַזְהִירִים,
בַּעַל הָרַחֲמִים יַסְתִּירֵהוּ
בְּסֵתֶר כְּנָפָיו לְעוֹלָמִים,
וְיִצְרֹר בִּצְרוֹר הַחַיִּים
אֶת נִשְׁמָתוֹ, יְיָ הוּא נַחֲלָתוֹ,
וְיָנוּחַ בְּשָׁלוֹם עַל מִשְׁכָּבוֹ, וְנֹאמַר אָמֵן׃
God, full of mercy, Who dwells above, give rest on the wings of the Divine Presence , amongst the holy, pure and glorious who shine like the sky, to the soul of David Caler, who has entered eternity. May the Merciful One protect his soul forever, and may his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life. The Everlasting is his inheritance: may he find a home with You, and may he rest in peace, and let us say: Amen
יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא
בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכון וּבְיומֵיכון וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא:
יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרומַם וְיִתְנַשּא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא.
לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
יְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
עושה שָׁלום בִּמְרומָיו הוּא יַעֲשה שָׁלום עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן:
We stand in a great web of being joined together.
Let us praise, let us love the life we are lent
passing through us in the body of Israel
and our own bodies, let’s say amen.
Time flows through us like water.
The past and the dead speak through us.
We breathe our children’s children, blessing.
Blessed is the earth from which we grow,
blessed the life we are lent,
blessed the ones who teach us,
blessed the ones we teach,
blessed is the word that cannot say the glory
that shines through us and remains to shine
flowing past distant suns on the way to forever.
Let’s say amen.
Blessed is the light, blessed is the darkness
but blessed above all else is peace
which bears the fruits of knowledge
on strong branches, let’s say amen.
Peace that bears joy into the world,
peace that enables love, peace over Israel
everywhere, blessed and holy is peace, let’s say amen.
-- Marge Piercy