Beauty is More Than Skin Deep

Questions to Ponder:

1) Sarah was born with a typical "Jewish" nose, and has been self conscious about it since she was a teenager. One of her friends was encouraging her to get plastic surgery and fix it once and for all. She comes to you for advice, what do you think?

2) Steve is an eligible bachelor in Chicago, he tells you he wants to get married, but every great girl you try to set him up with, he takes one look at her and says she's not pretty enough. Does Steve have a legitimate opinion, or is he unrealistic and needs some sense talked into him?

3) Is beauty a virtue if it's something we're just born with? Besides makeup and hairdos, how does one make themselves more beautiful?

4) Is it unfair that there seems to be a one sided pressure that females are expected to be beautiful at all times, while their male counterparts can get away with being "shlumpy"?

(ל) שֶׁ֣קֶר הַ֭חֵן וְהֶ֣בֶל הַיֹּ֑פִי אִשָּׁ֥ה יִרְאַת־יְ֝הוָ֗ה הִ֣יא תִתְהַלָּֽל׃
(30) Grace is deceptive, Beauty is illusory; It is for her fear of the LORD That a woman is to be praised.
כדאמרה ליה ברתיה דקיסר לר' יהושע בן חנניה אי חכמה מפוארה בכלי מכוער אמר לה אביך רמי חמרא במני דפחרא אמרה ליה אלא במאי נירמי אמר לה אתון דחשביתו רמו במאני דהבא וכספא

The daughter of the Roman emperor said to Rabbi Yehoshua ben Ḥananya, who was an ugly man: Woe to glorious wisdom such as yours, which is contained in an ugly vessel. Rabbi Yehoshua ben Ḥananya said to her: Does your father keep his wine in simple clay vessels? The emperor’s daughter said to him: Rather, in what, then, should he keep it? Rabbi Yehoshua ben Ḥananya said to her: You, who are so important, should put it in vessels of gold and silver.

אזלה ואמרה ליה לאבוה רמייא לחמרא במני דהבא וכספא ותקיף אתו ואמרו ליה אמר לה לברתיה מאן אמר לך הכי אמרה ליה רבי יהושע בן חנניה קריוהו אמר ליה אמאי אמרת לה הכי אמר ליה כי היכי דאמרה לי אמרי לה והא איכא שפירי דגמירי
The emperor’s daughter went and said this to her father. He put the wine in vessels of gold and silver and it turned sour. When his advisors came and told the emperor that the wine had turned sour, he said to his daughter: Who told you to do this? His daughter responded: Rabbi Yehoshua ben Ḥananya. The emperor summoned him and said to him: Why did you say this to her? Rabbi Yehoshua ben Ḥananya said to him: Just as she said to me, so I said say to her, to demonstrate to her that fine material is best preserved in the least of vessels. The emperor said to him: But there are handsome people who are learned.

אי הוו סנו טפי הוו גמירי

Rabbi Yehoshua replied: Had they been ugly, they would have been even more learned.

א"ר בנאה נסתכלתי בשני עקיביו ודומים לשני גלגלי חמה הכל בפני שרה כקוף בפני אדם שרה בפני חוה כקוף בפני אדם חוה בפני אדם כקוף בפני אדם אדם בפני שכינה כקוף בפני אדם

All people compared to Sarah are like a monkey compared to a human, as Sarah was exceedingly beautiful; Sarah compared to Eve is like a monkey compared to a human; Eve compared to Adam is like a monkey compared to a human; and Adam compared to the Divine Presence is like a monkey compared to a human.

(א) וְכִי יָמוּךְ אָחִיךָ (ויקרא כה, לה), הֲדָא הוּא דִכְתִיב (תהלים מא, ב): אַשְׁרֵי מַשְׂכִּיל אֶל דָּל בְּיוֹם רָעָה יְמַלְּטֵהוּ ה', אַבָּא בַּר יִרְמְיָה בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי מֵאִיר אָמַר, זֶה שֶׁמַּמְלִיךְ יֵצֶר טוֹב עַל יֵצֶר הָרָע. אִיסִי אָמַר זֶה שֶׁנּוֹתֵן פְּרוּטָה לֶעָנִי. רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אָמַר זֶה שֶׁקּוֹבֵר מֵת מִצְוָה. רַבָּנָן אָמְרֵי זֶה שֶׁמַּבְרִיחַ עַצְמוֹ מִן הֶעָרִיצִים. רַב הוּנָא אָמַר זֶה שֶׁמְבַקֵּר אֶת הַחוֹלֶה, דְּאָמַר רַב הוּנָא כָּל מִי שֶׁמְבַקֵּר אֶת הַחוֹלֶה פּוֹחֲתִים לוֹ אֶחָד מִשִּׁשִּׁים בְּחָלְיוֹ. אֵיתִיבֵיהּ לְרַב הוּנָא אִם כֵּן יַעֲלוּ שִׁשִּׁים וְיֵרֵד עִמָּהֶן לַשּׁוּק, אָמַר לָהֶם שִׁשִּׁים וּבִלְבָד שֶׁיְהוּ אוֹהֲבִין אוֹתוֹ כְּנַפְשׁוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי כֵן מַרְוִיחִין לוֹ.

Hillel the Elder, who, at the time that he was departing from his students, would walk with them. They said to him, "Rabbi, where are you walking to?" He said to them, "To fulfill a commandment!" They said to him, "And what commandment is this?" He said to them, "To bathe in the bathhouse." They said to him: "But is this really a commandment?" He said to them: "Yes. Just like regarding the statues (lit. icons) of kings, that are set up in the theaters and the circuses, the one who is appointed over them bathes them and scrubs them, and they give him sustenance, and furthermore, he attains status with the leaders of the kingdom; I, who was created in the [Divine] Image and Form, as it is written, "For in the Image of G-d He made Man" even more so.

(ג) בנת צעדה עלי שור. בְּנוֹת מִצְרַיִם הָיוּ צוֹעֲדוֹת (עַל הַחוֹמָה) לְהִסְתַּכֵּל בְּיָפְיוֹ, בָּנוֹת הַרְבֵּה, צָעֲדָה כָּל אַחַת וְאַחַת, בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁתּוּכַל לִרְאוֹתוֹ מִשָּׁם

The daughters of Egypt used to climb up to gaze at Joseph's beauty "Banos" is plural — many daughters, whilst "Tzadah" is singular, but the words should be translated thus: many daughters climbed, each of them to any place from which she could best obtain a glimpse of him.

(א) במראת הצבאת. בְּנוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל הָיוּ בְיָדָן מַרְאוֹת שֶׁרוֹאוֹת בָּהֶן כְּשֶׁהֵן מִתְקַשְּׁטוֹת, וְאַף אוֹתָן לֹא עִכְּבוּ מִלְּהָבִיא לְנִדְבַת הַמִּשְׁכָּן, וְהָיָה מוֹאֵס מֹשֶׁה בָּהֶן מִפְּנֵי שֶׁעֲשׂוּיִם לְיֵצֶר הָרָע, אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּבָּ"ה קַבֵּל, כִּי אֵלּוּ חֲבִיבִין עָלַי מִן הַכֹּל, שֶׁעַל יְדֵיהֶם הֶעֱמִידוּ הַנָּשִׁים צְבָאוֹת רַבּוֹת בְּמִצְרַיִם; כְּשֶׁהָיוּ בַעְלֵיהֶם יְגֵעִים בַּעֲבוֹדַת פֶּרֶךְ, הָיוּ הוֹלְכוֹת וּמוֹלִיכוֹת לָהֶם מַאֲכָל וּמִשְׁתֶּה, וּמַאֲכִילוֹת אוֹתָם וְנוֹטְלוֹת הַמַּרְאוֹת, וְכָל אַחַת רוֹאָה עַצְמָהּ עִם בַּעְלָהּ בַּמַּרְאָה, וּמְשַׁדַּלְתּוֹ בִדְבָרִים, לוֹמַר אֲנִי נָאָה מִמְּךָ, וּמִתּוֹךְ כָּךְ מְבִיאוֹת לְבַעְלֵיהֶן לִידֵי תַאֲוָה וְנִזְקָקוֹת לָהֶם וּמִתְעַבְּרוֹת וְיוֹלְדוֹת שָׁם, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר תַּחַת הַתַּפּוּחַ עוֹרַרְתִּיךָ (שיר השירים ח'), וְזֶה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בְּמַרְאֹת הַצּוֹבְאוֹת. :

(1) במראת הצבאת OF THE MIRRORS OF THE WOMEN CROWDING — The Jewish women possessed mirrors of copper into which they used to look when they adorned themselves. Even these did they not hesitate to bring as a contribution towards the Tabernacle. Now Moses was about to reject them since they were made to pander to their vanity, but the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him, “Accept them; these are dearer to Me than all the other contributions, because through them the women reared those huge hosts in Egypt!” For when their husbands were tired through the crushing labour they used to bring them food and drink and induced them to eat. Then they would take the mirrors, and each gazed at herself in her mirror together with her husband, saying endearingly to him, “See, I am handsomer than you!” Thus they awakened their husbands’ affection and subsequently became the mothers of many children.

גמ׳ ת"ר (ויקרא כג, מ) פרי עץ הדר עץ שטעם עצו ופריו שוה הוי אומר זה אתרוג
GEMARA: The Sages taught that the verse states: “Fruit of a beautiful tree,” meaning, a tree that the taste of its tree trunk and the taste of its fruit are alike. What tree is that? You must say it is the etrog tree.