In order to do tshuva our hearts need to bend like reeds, not stand firm like cedars. Tshuva requires stretching beyond self-righteousness, anger and pride. Repairing relationships demands flexibility, but stiffening our hearts comes more naturally to most. Pay attention to which parts of the story depict reeds and which parts depict cedars.
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: לְעוֹלָם יְהֵא אָדָם רַךְ כְּקָנֶה וְאַל יְהֵא קָשֶׁה כְּאֶרֶז. מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁבָּא רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן מִמִּגְדַּל גְּדוֹר מִבֵּית רַבּוֹ, וְהָיָה רָכוּב עַל חֲמוֹר וּמְטַיֵּיל עַל שְׂפַת נָהָר, וְשָׂמֵחַ שִׂמְחָה גְּדוֹלָה. וְהָיְתָה דַּעְתּוֹ גַּסָּה עָלָיו מִפְּנֵי שֶׁלָּמַד תּוֹרָה הַרְבֵּה.
The Sages further taught in praise of the reed: A person should always be soft like a reed, and he should not be stiff like a cedar. An incident occurred in which Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, came from Migdal Gedor, from his rabbi’s house, and he was riding on a donkey and strolling on the bank of the river. And he was very happy, and his head was swollen with pride because he had studied much Torah.
Rabbi Elazar ben Shimon (REbSh) studies at Migdal Gedor which translates to Tower of Self-Restraint. Then, the text assigns two qualities to REbSh. Do these two qualites represent the cedar or the reed? These two qualities are in contradiction with the name of REbSh's school. How might these contradictions set the stage for our story? What might be foreshadowed here?
נִזְדַּמֵּן לוֹ אָדָם אֶחָד שֶׁהָיָה מְכוֹעָר בְּיוֹתֵר. אָמַר לוֹ: שָׁלוֹם עָלֶיךָ רַבִּי! וְלֹא הֶחְזִיר לוֹ. אָמַר לוֹ: רֵיקָה, כַּמָּה מְכוֹעָר אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ! שֶׁמָּא כׇּל בְּנֵי עִירֶךָ מְכוֹעָרִין כְּמוֹתְךָ? אָמַר לוֹ: אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ, אֶלָּא לֵךְ וֶאֱמוֹר לָאוּמָּן שֶׁעֲשָׂאַנִי: ״כַּמָּה מְכוֹעָר כְּלִי זֶה שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ״. כֵּיוָן שֶׁיָּדַע בְּעַצְמוֹ שֶׁחָטָא, יָרַד מִן הַחֲמוֹר וְנִשְׁתַּטַּח לְפָנָיו, וְאָמַר לוֹ: נַעֲנֵיתִי לְךָ, מְחוֹל לִי! אָמַר לוֹ: אֵינִי מוֹחֵל לְךָ עַד שֶׁתֵּלֵךְ לָאוּמָּן שֶׁעֲשָׂאַנִי וֶאֱמוֹר לוֹ: כַּמָּה מְכוֹעָר כְּלִי זֶה שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ.
He happened upon an exceedingly ugly person, who said to him: Greetings to you, my rabbi, but Rabbi Elazar did not return his greeting. Instead, Rabbi Elazar said to him: Worthless [reika] person, how ugly is that person. Are all the people of your city as ugly as you? The man said to him: I do not know, but you should go and say to the Craftsman Who made me: How ugly is the vessel you made! When Rabbi Elazar realized that he had sinned and insulted this man merely on account of his appearance, he descended from his donkey and prostrated himself before him, and he said to the man: I have sinned against you; forgive me. The man said to him: I will not forgive you until you go to the Craftsman Who made me and say: How ugly is the vessel you made.
REbSh meets a stranger and calls him two things; worthless and ugly. The man responds that if REbSh thinks he’s ugly then he should complain to the Craftsman who made him. Who is the Craftsman? What point is the man trying to make by mentioning the Craftsman?
REbSh doesn't just apologize. He dismounts from his donkey, prostrates himself, admits he has sinned and asks for forgiveness. Do these actions represent the cedar or the reed? Are these actions sufficient to show sincere tshuva?
The man responds to REbSh's apology by repeating his demand that REbSh tell the Craftsman the vessel is ugly. Does this behavior represent the cedar or the reed? Is the man's response justifiable?
REbSh doesn't just apologize. He dismounts from his donkey, prostrates himself, admits he has sinned and asks for forgiveness. Do these actions represent the cedar or the reed? Are these actions sufficient to show sincere tshuva?
The man responds to REbSh's apology by repeating his demand that REbSh tell the Craftsman the vessel is ugly. Does this behavior represent the cedar or the reed? Is the man's response justifiable?
הָיָה מְטַיֵּיל אַחֲרָיו עַד שֶׁהִגִּיעַ לְעִירוֹ. יָצְאוּ בְּנֵי עִירוֹ לִקְרָאתוֹ, וְהָיוּ אוֹמְרִים לוֹ: שָׁלוֹם עָלֶיךָ רַבִּי רַבִּי, מוֹרִי מוֹרִי! אָמַר לָהֶם: לְמִי אַתֶּם קוֹרִין רַבִּי רַבִּי? אָמְרוּ לוֹ: לְזֶה שֶׁמְּטַיֵּיל אַחֲרֶיךָ. אָמַר לָהֶם: אִם זֶה רַבִּי — אַל יִרְבּוּ כְּמוֹתוֹ בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל. אָמְרוּ לוֹ: מִפְּנֵי מָה? אָמַר לָהֶם: כָּךְ וְכָךְ עָשָׂה לִי. אָמְרוּ לוֹ: אַף עַל פִּי כֵּן, מְחוֹל לוֹ, שֶׁאָדָם גָּדוֹל בְּתוֹרָה הוּא. אָמַר לָהֶם: בִּשְׁבִילְכֶם הֲרֵינִי מוֹחֵל לוֹ, וּבִלְבַד שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא רָגִיל לַעֲשׂוֹת כֵּן. מִיָּד נִכְנַס רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן, וְדָרַשׁ: לְעוֹלָם יְהֵא אָדָם רַךְ כְּקָנֶה וְאַל יְהֵא קָשֶׁה כְּאֶרֶז. וּלְפִיכָךְ זָכָה קָנֶה לִיטּוֹל הֵימֶנּוּ קוּלְמוֹס לִכְתּוֹב בּוֹ סֵפֶר תּוֹרָה תְּפִילִּין וּמְזוּזוֹת.
He walked behind the man, trying to appease him, until they reached Rabbi Elazar’s city. The people of his city came out to greet him, saying to him: Greetings to you, my rabbi, my rabbi, my master, my master. The man said to them: Who are you calling my rabbi, my rabbi? They said to him: To this man, who is walking behind you. He said to them: If this man is a rabbi, may there not be many like him among the Jewish people. They asked him: For what reason do you say this? He said to them: He did such and such to me. They said to him: Even so, forgive him, as he is a great Torah scholar. He said to them: For your sakes I forgive him, provided that he accepts upon himself not to become accustomed to behave like this. Immediately, Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, entered the study hall and taught: A person should always be soft like a reed and he should not be stiff like a cedar, as one who is proud like a cedar is likely to sin. And therefore, due to its gentle qualities, the reed merited that a quill is taken from it to write with it a Torah scroll, phylacteries, and mezuzot.
When REbSh and the man arrive in town REbSh is greeted as a great scholar. Given the harsh words REbSh said to the man, how do you imagine he felt being welcomed this way? How do you imagine the man felt in witnessing this welcome?
The man tells the people of the town, "If this man is a rabbi may there not be many like him among the Jewish people", and then shares the terrible thing REbSh said to him. Was it right for the man to share what REbSh did to him with the townspeople? Do you think the man also shares that REbSh apologized? Is it relevant to include the apology in retelling what happened? Is the man acting more like the cedar or the reed?
The people of the town tell the Ugly Man they should forgive REbSh because he’s an important rabbi. Is it the community's role to encourage tshuva and forgiveness? Do you think the fact that REbSh is a great rabbi means he deserves forgiveness? If not, what would be a good reason for forgiveness? Is someone's position in the community or talent ever relevant to whether or not we forgive them?
The man forgives REbSh for the sake of the people in the town. Why doesn't he forgive REbSh for his own sake? Do you think REbSh feels forgiven? Why does it matter to the man what the townspeople want and need? Is this act of forgiveness more like the cedar or the reed?
Immediately after being forgiven REbSh teaches the virtue of reeds compared to cedars. How do you interpret this action? Is REbSh the same man who departed Migdal Gedor or was he changed by his experiences along the way?
Which character in the story is the cedar and which character is the reed??
The man tells the people of the town, "If this man is a rabbi may there not be many like him among the Jewish people", and then shares the terrible thing REbSh said to him. Was it right for the man to share what REbSh did to him with the townspeople? Do you think the man also shares that REbSh apologized? Is it relevant to include the apology in retelling what happened? Is the man acting more like the cedar or the reed?
The people of the town tell the Ugly Man they should forgive REbSh because he’s an important rabbi. Is it the community's role to encourage tshuva and forgiveness? Do you think the fact that REbSh is a great rabbi means he deserves forgiveness? If not, what would be a good reason for forgiveness? Is someone's position in the community or talent ever relevant to whether or not we forgive them?
The man forgives REbSh for the sake of the people in the town. Why doesn't he forgive REbSh for his own sake? Do you think REbSh feels forgiven? Why does it matter to the man what the townspeople want and need? Is this act of forgiveness more like the cedar or the reed?
Immediately after being forgiven REbSh teaches the virtue of reeds compared to cedars. How do you interpret this action? Is REbSh the same man who departed Migdal Gedor or was he changed by his experiences along the way?
Which character in the story is the cedar and which character is the reed??