כיצד מזמינים בעל דין לדין שולחים לו ב"ד שלוחם שיבא ליום המזומן לדין לא בא מזמינים אותו פעם שנית לא בא מזמינים אותו פעם שלישית לא בא ממתינים לו כל היום לא בא מנדין אותו למחרתו
(1) In which manner is a defendant summoned to appear in Court? — The [members of the] Court send their messenger to him in order that he come on the appointed day to Court. [If] he did not appear [on the appointed day], they summon him a second time; [if] he did not appear [after the second summons], they summon him a third time; [if] he [still] did not appear, they wait for him all day, and if he did not appear, they place him under the ban on the morrow.
(ד) מַהוּ הַמִּנְהָג שֶׁיִּנְהֹג הַמְנֻדֶּה בְּעַצְמוֹ וְשֶׁנּוֹהֲגִין עִמּוֹ. מְנֻדֶּה אָסוּר לְסַפֵּר וּלְכַבֵּס כְּאָבֵל כָּל יְמֵי נִדּוּיוֹ. וְאֵין מְזַמְּנִין עָלָיו. וְלֹא כּוֹלְלִין אוֹתוֹ בַּעֲשָׂרָה לְכָל דָּבָר שֶׁצָּרִיךְ עֲשָׂרָה. וְלֹא יוֹשְׁבִין עִמּוֹ בְּאַרְבַּע אַמּוֹת. אֲבָל שׁוֹנֶה הוּא לַאֲחֵרִים וְשׁוֹנִין לוֹ וְנִשְׂכָּר וְשׂוֹכֵר. וְאִם מֵת בְּנִדּוּי בֵּית דִּין שׁוֹלְחִין וּמַנִּיחִין אֶבֶן עַל אֲרוֹנוֹ כְּלוֹמַר שֶׁהֵן רוֹגְמִין אוֹתוֹ לְפִי שֶׁהוּא מֻבְדָּל מִן הַצִּבּוּר. וְאֵין צָרִיךְ לוֹמַר שֶׁאֵין מַסְפִּידִין אוֹתוֹ וְאֵין מְלַוִּין אֶת מִטָּתוֹ:
(4) What are the practices that must be observed by the person who is ostracized and those who come into contact with him? he is forbidden to cut his hair or launder his clothes, like a mourner throughout his entire period of ostracism; he is not included in a zimmun, nor in a quorum of ten with regard to any matter that requires ten; no one should sit within four cubits of him. He may, however, teach others and others may teach him. He may be hired and may hire others. If he dies while under ban, the court sends [an emissary who] places a stone on his coffin, as if to say that they are stoning him because he was separated from the community. Needless to say, eulogies are not recited for him, nor is his bier accompanied.
(ג) המספר בין ישתבח ליוצר עבירה היא בידו וחוזר עליה מעורכי המלחמה ויש מי שאומר שלצרכי ציבור או לפסוק צדקה למי שבא להתפרנס מן הצדקה מותר להפסיק: הגה ומזה נתפשט מה שנהגו בהרבה מקומות לברך חולה או לקבול בב"ה שיעשו לו דין בין ישתבח ליוצר דכל זה מקרי לצורך מצוה
(3) One who speaks between Yishtabah and Yotzer - it is a sin in his hand, and would be required to return from the battlefield [due to fear of sin leading to death]. But there are those who say that it is permitted to interrupt at that point for communal needs or to bestow charity to those who come to be provided for from charity. Gloss: From this stems the custom in many places to say a blessing for the sick or for a claimant to ask for judgement between Yishtabah and Yotzer, because these are instances of (interruptions for) the purpose of a mitzvah.
(17) You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kin but incur no guilt on their account.
By rebuking him thou shalt not expose him to shame in public, in which case you will bear sin on account of him (cf. Sifra, Kedoshim, Chapter 4 8; Arakhin 16b).
(יא) רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר הַמּוֹדָעִי אוֹמֵר... וְהַמַּלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵרוֹ בָרַבִּים... אֵין לוֹ חֵלֶק לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא:
(11) Rabbi Elazar of Modiin said: and one who causes his fellow’s face to blush in public...he has not a share in the world to come.
נוֹחַ לוֹ לְאָדָם שֶׁיַּפִּיל עַצְמוֹ לְכִבְשַׁן הָאֵשׁ וְאַל יַלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵירוֹ בָּרַבִּים. מְנָא לַן? מִתָּמָר, דִּכְתִיב: ״הִיא מוּצֵאת וְהִיא שָׁלְחָה אֶל חָמִיהָ״.
It is more comfortable for a person to cast himself into a fiery furnace, than to humiliate another in public to avoid being cast into the furnace. From where do we derive this? From Tamar, daughter-in-law of Judah. When she was taken to be burned, she did not reveal she was pregnant with Judah’s child. Rather, she left the decision to him, to avoid humiliating him in public, as it is written: “And Judah said: Bring her forth, and let her be burnt. When she was brought forth, she sent to her father-in-law: I am pregnant by the man to whom these belong. And she said: Examine these, whose are these, the signet, and the cords, and the staff?”
רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר: אַף לֹא יִתְלֶה עֵינָיו עַל הַמִּקָּח, בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁאֵין לוֹ דָּמִים, שֶׁהֲרֵי הַדָּבָר מָסוּר לַלֵּב, וְכׇל דָּבָר הַמָּסוּר לַלֵּב נֶאֱמַר בּוֹ ״וְיָרֵאתָ מֵאֱלֹהֶיךָ״.
Rabbi Yehuda says: One may not even cast his eyes on the merchandise for sale, at a time when he does not have money to purchase it. Verbal mistreatment is not typically obvious, and it is difficult to ascertain the intent of the offender, as the matter is given to the heart of each individual, as only he knows what his intention was when he spoke. And with regard to any matter given to the heart, it is stated: “And you shall fear your God”