Why do we kiss ritual objects? What are the somatics of kissing ritual objects?
May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine.
(שמות כ״ג:כ׳) הִנֵּה אָנֹכִי שׁוֹלֵחַ מַלְאָךְ לְפָנֶיךָ וְגוֹ'. רַבִּי יִצְחָק פָּתַח, (שיר השירים א׳:ב׳) יִשָּׁקֵנִי מִנְּשִׁיקוֹת פִּיהוּ וְגוֹ' אָמְרָה כְּנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל, יִשָּׁקֵנִי מִנְּשִׁיקוֹת פִּיהוּ. מַאי טַעֲמָא יִשָּׁקֵנִי, יֶאֱהָבֵנִי מִבָּעֵי לֵיהּ, אֲמַאי יִשָּׁקֵנִי.
אֶלָּא הָכִי תָּנֵינָן, מַאי נְשִׁיקוֹת אַדְבְּקוּתָא דְּרוּחָא בְּרוּחָא. דִּבְגִינִי כַּךְ נְשִׁיקָה בַּפֶּה, דְּהָא פּוּמָא אַפְקוּתָא וּמְקוֹרָא דְּרוּחָא הוּא.
וְעַל דָּא נְשִׁיקִין בְּפוּמָא, בַּחֲבִיבוּתָא, וְדַבְקִין רוּחָא בְּרוּחָא, דְּלָא מִתְפָּרְשָׁן דָּא מִן דָּא.
וְעַל דָּא מַאן דְּנָפִיק נִשְׁמָתֵיהּ בִּנְשִׁיקָה, מִתְדְּבַּק בְּרוּחָא אַחֲרָא. בְּרוּחָא דְּלָא מִתְפְּרַשׁ מִנֵּיהּ. וְהַיְינוּ אִקְרֵי נְשִׁיקָה.
וְעַל דָּא אָמְרָה כְּנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל, יִשָּׁקֵנִי מִנְּשִׁיקוֹת פִּיהוּ, לְאַדְבְּקָא רוּחָא בְּרוּחָא, דְּלָא יִתְפְּרִישׁ דָּא מִן דָּא.
"Here: I am sending messengers before you..." Rabbi Yitzchak opened with, "May he kiss me with kisses of his mouth, etc." The congregation of Israel says, may he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. What is the reason for "kiss me", shouldn't it be "love me"? Why "kiss me"?
But this is what was taught: aren't kisses the devotion of one rucha to another rucha? This is why "kiss of the mouth", as this mouth is the thing that branches off and encounters the rucha.
And this is why we kiss with our mouths in love, so that one rucha attaches to the other rucha, so as never to separate one from the other.
So, whoever sends out their soul with a kiss, attaches their soul to someone else's. There is no separation between their rucha. This is the central idea of the kiss.
And this is why the congregation of Israel says, may he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, to attach one rucha to another rucha, and not to separate one from the other.
דָּבָר אַחֵר יִשָּׁקֵנִי מִנְּשִׁיקוֹת פִּיהוּ, מַאי קָא חָמָא שְׁלֹמֹה מַלְכָּא, דְּאִיהוּ אָעִיל מִלֵּי דִּרְחִימוּ בֵּין עָלְמָא עִלָּאָה לְעָלְמָא תַּתָּאָה, וְשֵׁירוּתָא דְּתוּשְׁבַּחְתָּא דִּרְחִימוּ דְּאָעִיל בֵּינַיְיהוּ, יִשָּׁקֵנִי אִיהוּ.
אֶלָּא הָא אוּקְמוּהָ (קכ"ד ע"ב) וְהָכִי אִיהוּ, דְּלֵית רְחִימוּ דִּדְבֵיקוּת דְּרוּחָא בְּרוּחָא, בַּר (רנ"ו ע"ב) נְשִׁיקָה. וּנְשִׁיקָה בְּפוּמָא, דְּאִיהִי מַבּוּעָא דְּרוּחָא, וּמַפְקָנוּ דִּילֵיהּ. וְכַד נַשְׁקִין דָּא לְדָא, מִתְדַּבְּקָן רוּחִין אִלֵּין בְּאִלֵּין, וַהֲווּ חַד, וּכְדֵין אִיהוּ רְחִימוּ חַד.
Another thing. "May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth," what does King Shlomo see? That he is bringing words of compassion from the upper world to the lower world, and bringing a song of praise between them, which is a kiss.
But this establishes something, which is this: that there is no compassion between one rucha and another, except kissing. And mouth-kissing, because this is the inhalation of the rucha, from their mouths. And when one kisses another, their ruchin attach one to the other, and they become one, and it is as if they are one compassion.
ויש שכתבו שבאים התינוקות לנשק התורה כדי לחנכם ולזרזם במצות וכן נוהגין [אור זרוע]:
Rem"a: Some write that we bring children to kiss the Torah in order to educate them and train them to do mitzvot, and that is the custom. [Or Zarua]
נהגו שכל מי שספר התורה עובר לידו מנשקו ומלווהו מעט. הרוב נוהגים לנשק את התורה בפיהם ממש, ויש שנוגעים בו בידם ומנשקים את היד. נכון לחולה או מצונן שלא ינשק את התורה בפיו, כדי שלא ידביק את שאר המתפללים במחלתו.
It is customary that people kiss the Torah as it passes and partially escort it on its way. Most people are accustomed to kiss the Torah directly with their lips, yet some touch it with their hand and then kiss their hand. It is not proper for a person who is sick, or has a cold, to kiss the Torah directly with his mouth, so as not to infect the other people praying.
הדר שדר גונדא אחרינא אבתריה אמר להו לא תשתעו מידי בהדיה כי נקטי ליה ואזלי חזא מזוזתא [דמנחא אפתחא] אותיב ידיה עלה ואמר להו מאי האי אמרו ליה אימא לן את אמר להו מנהגו של עולם מלך בשר ודם יושב מבפנים ועבדיו משמרים אותו מבחוץ ואילו הקב"ה עבדיו מבפנים והוא משמרן מבחוץ שנאמר (תהלים קכא, ח) ה' ישמר צאתך ובואך מעתה ועד עולם איגיור תו לא שדר בתריה
The emperor then sent another troop of soldiers after him, to arrest Onkelos for converting to Judaism. The emperor said to them: Do not speak with him at all, or else he might convert you, too. The troops followed this instruction, and arrested Onkelos. While they grabbed him and were walking, Onkelos saw a mezuzah that was placed on the doorway. He placed his hand upon it and said to the soldiers: What is this? They said to him: You tell us. Onkelos said to them: The standard practice throughout the world is that a king of flesh and blood sits inside his palace, and his servants stand guard, protecting him outside; but with regard to the Holy One, Blessed be He, His servants, the Jewish people, sit inside their homes and He guards over them outside. As it is stated: “The Lord shall guard your going out and your coming in, from now and forever” (Psalms 121:8). Upon hearing this, those soldiers also converted to Judaism. After that, the emperor sent no more soldiers after him.
- How did Onkelos feel when he placed his hand on the mezuzah?
- What did he achieve by making this physical contact?
- Why did the Roman soldiers convert after seeing Onkelos do this?
חַיָּב אָדָם לְהִזָּהֵר בִּמְזוּזָה מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהִיא חוֹבַת הַכּל תָּמִיד. וְכָל זְמַן שֶׁיִּכָּנֵס וְיֵצֵא יִפְגַּע בְּיִחוּד הַשֵּׁם שְׁמוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא וְיִזְכֹּר אַהֲבָתוֹ וְיֵעוֹר מִשְּׁנָתוֹ וְשִׁגְיוֹתָיו בְּהַבְלֵי הַזְּמַן.
וְיֵדַע שֶׁאֵין דָּבָר הָעוֹמֵד לְעוֹלָם וּלְעוֹלְמֵי עוֹלָמִים אֶלָּא יְדִיעַת צוּר הָעוֹלָם. וּמִיָּד הוּא חוֹזֵר לְדַעְתּוֹ וְהוֹלֵךְ בְּדַרְכֵי מֵישָׁרִים.
אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים כָּל מִי שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ תְּפִלִּין בְּרֹאשׁוֹ וּבִזְרוֹעוֹ וְצִיצִית בְּבִגְדוֹ וּמְזוּזָה בְּפִתְחוֹ מֻחְזָק הוּא שֶׁלֹּא יֶחֱטָא שֶׁהֲרֵי יֵשׁ לוֹ מַזְכִּירִין רַבִּים וְהֵן הֵם הַמַּלְאָכִים שֶׁמַּצִּילִין אוֹתוֹ מִלַּחֲטֹא שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהילים לד ח) ״חֹנֶה מַלְאַךְ יְיָ׳ סָבִיב לִירֵאָיו וַיְחַלְּצֵם״:
A person is obligated to be careful in their observance of mezuzah because it is an obligation upon everyone, constantly. And every time someone comes in or goes out, they encounter (or touch) the unity of the name of the Holy, Blessed One and remember their love, and wake up from their sleep and misguidedness in the meaninglessness of the time.
And they will know that there is nothing that exists forever and for all eternity except for the knowledge of the rock of the universe. So, they will go back to knowing, and walk in the correct paths.
The first Sages said that everyone who has tefillin on their heads and arms, and tzitzit on their clothes, and a mezuzah on their door is strong, so that they will not stray. Because look, they have lots of reminders, and they are the divine messengers that save them from straying, as it says, "the messenger of יְיָ׳ rests around those who revere God and save them."
- In what ways does kissing make one more mindful?
- In what ways does mindfulness protect one from going astray (or more bluntly put, "sinning")?
- Have you ever been kissed into wakefulness? Have you ever kissed yourself into wakefulness?
כָּל מִי שֶׁיּוֹשֵׁב לִפְנֵי סֵפֶר תּוֹרָה יֵשֵׁב בְּכֹבֶד רֹאשׁ בְּאֵימָה וָפַחַד. שֶׁהוּא הָעֵד הַנֶּאֱמָן לְכָל בָּאֵי עוֹלָם שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (דברים לא כו) ״וְהָיָה שָׁם בְּךָ לְעֵד״. וִיכַבְּדֵהוּ כְּפִי כֹּחוֹ.
Anyone who sits before a Torah scroll should sit with respect, reverence, and trembling, because it is a faithful witness for all the inhabitants of the earth, as it is said: "And it will be as a witness for you." A person must honor a Torah scroll proportionate to their ability.
- What is the proper conduct of someone in respect, reverence, and trembling? Is kissing involved?
- What do you think Rambam means by "A person must honor a Torah scroll proportionate to their ability"?
עולא כי הוה אתי מבי רב הוה מנשק להו לאחתיה אבי ידייהו. ואמרי לה, אבי חדייהו.
When Ulla would come from the beit midrash, he would kiss his sisters on their hands. And some say: On their joy.
"On their joy" - chest. It is the way of people, when they come back from the synagogue, to kiss their father and mother and their elders on their knuckle or the palm of their hand [to show them respect].
- What the actual fuck was Ulla doing?
- Do you have a practice of kissing your elders (familial or otherwise)? How meaningful is it to do so?
- What's the difference between kissing people's hands and kissing ritual objects?
- How similar is kissing someone's hand to the Zohar's conception of mouth-to-mouth kissing?
Three sources against kissing
(1) Too much emphasis on an object. Plus, PDA in shul is uncomfortable
from So, what’s up with all that kissing in synagogue? (No, not the people — the Torah!) by Angela Himsel
What felt utterly foreign to me was the rampant kissing. Jews kiss the prayer book and Bible before they put it away. They kiss the curtain of the ark before opening it and taking out the Torah. Then, after reading from the Torah, some man totes it around the synagogue while one after another, the men lift the tzitzit (fringes) of their prayer shawls, press them against the Torah mantle, and then kiss the shawl. The Christian God I grew up with was a shusher, not a kisser.
I understood that kissing the Torah is an expression of devotion to God’s words, though personally, it seemed to border on a fetishization of the physical Torah. It was also a bit too much of a public display of affection for me. I recoil from handholding, unless it’s a child under the age of 6 who needs help crossing the street.
- What do you relate to in this characterization of Jewish worship? Does kissing sometimes make you uncomfortable?
- If you aren't uncomfortable with the way we revere the Torah, what kind of reverence would cross the line for you?
- This is the flip side of using devices for mindfulness—what happens when they become more about the object than what they represent?
(2) Kissing is the way of arrogance
eclectic edition of the responsa of Rav Natronai Gaon, compiled in Is There an Obligation to Kiss the Tzitzit? by Rabbi David Golinkin
And so said Rav Natronai Gaon: And regarding what you asked, when a person recites the Shema, should they hold their four tzitzitiyot or not?
This thing is not the way of Sages and disciples, it is the way of arrogance. For once they have looked upon their tzitzit while wrapping in them and blessed over them, after that, why should they hold them in their hand? But, according to this, upon reaching “and you shall bind them,” they also need to hold their tefillin! And if you say, let them hold them, upon reaching “and you shall write them”, they need to go home and place their hand upon the mezuzah! Therefore, one who does so, one must teach them and explain to them [variant: warn them] not to do so.
- Why indeed, once you have looked at your tzitzit and said the blessing, should you hold them in your hand?
- Do you agree that the Sh'ma implies that you should kiss your tefillin while saying it (which is an accepted practice) and kiss your mezuzah while saying it (which is not)?
- What could compel you to explain or warn someone not to kiss or hold a ritual object?
(3) Don't be heimish with the Torah
from an answer by Shoel U'Meishiv on Kissing a Sefer Torah as it passes, a question by msh210 on Mi Yodeya
The minhag in the Yeshiva Beis Hatalmud in Bensonhurst, NY was for the Bochurim not to kiss the Sefer Torah as they felt it was a sign of haughtiness - to suggest that the person is heimish (loosely translated as familiar or on equal terms) with the Torah.
- How heimish are you with the Torah?
- What are the qualities of someone who is heimish with the Torah? Do you like that kind of person?
- Can you be heimish with the Torah and also sit before it "in respect, reverence, and trembling" as if it will testify about you before the True Judge?
- What does this imply about other ritual items? Can you be heimish with tzitzit or an etrog or Eretz Yisrael even if you think it's wrong to be heimish with the Torah?
A response: Kissing is wrong if it feels wrong, and it's not an obligation
from Kissing the Torah: Idolatry? by Rabbi Ruth Adar
I like what my friend Rabbi David J. Cooper has written about this: “…if it does seem like idolatry to you, you should definitely not kiss the Torah.” If any custom or even a mitzvah feels wrong to you, don’t do it. Wait, study, and talk with a teacher that you trust. If it continues to feel wrong, trust your conscience.
Many people, myself included, kiss the Torah. I also touch the mezuzah when I go through a doorway. Here are two things to know about this practice:
Kissing any religious object (the Torah, a mezuzah, the fringes on a tallit) is not an obligation. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to do it. It is a practice that is meaningful to some Jews and not to others.
There are many reasons for this kissing. If you ask four Jews “why kiss?” you will probably get at least five answers.
Why do I kiss the Torah when it passes by me? I kiss it out of love and reverence for what it represents. To me, it represents the centuries of Jewish striving towards holiness, centuries of struggling with a book that is passed through imperfect human hands. The Torah itself is not holy; it is a signpost that points towards holiness. When I touch it and kiss my fingers, I remind myself that it is my compass, pointing towards that which I seek.
- What does your conscience say about kissing ritual objects?
- Do you feel obligated to kiss ritual objects? To what extent does the compulsion come from inside and outside?
- How does it feel to be watched adoring a ritual object?
Kiss humans as much—or more—than ritual objects
from The Torah of Max Ticktin Will Not Be Forgotten by Rabbi Arthur Waskow
Forty years ago, I was still living in Washington DC and was still a member of Fabrangen — one of the earliest havurah-style minyanim –– when I noticed something odd that one of our members was doing when the Torah scroll was joyfully carried around the community on Shabbat morning.
The member was Rabbi Max Ticktin. What I noticed was that while everyone else in the community touched their tzitzit, the fringes of their prayer shawls, to the Torah scroll and kissed them, Max also touched his tzitzit to the person who was carrying the Torah. So I asked him why, and this is what he said:
Any person who carries a Torah is himself, herself, a Torah.
- Imagine the two sides of this encounter. How did it feel to be Rabbi Max Ticktin, kissing the Torah-bearer with his tzitzit? How did it feel to be the torah-bearer?
- If we are the Torah, how else should we be treated? How do we treat ourselves?
Kissing books is central to the Jewish experience
from Why Are the Jews Called “People of the Book”? by Yehuda Shurpin in the name of Rabbi Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz
This is a Jew: one who kisses a book when they put it down after reading from it.
- How essentially Jewish is it to kiss books? Why books?
- What do other faiths (and non-faiths) think about kissing books?
- Does Rabbi Steinsaltz mean all books, or only Jewish books? What boundaries could be crossed there?
The Torah is a broken heart.
The Torah is the closest of friends.
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The Torah is not something to share with friends.
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