The Amen Effect -- chapter 4: COME ALIVE sheet 1: Finding Your Purpose

Abraham Joshua Heschel, Who is Man?

Every human being has had a moment in which he sensed a mysterious waiting for him. Meaning is found in responding to the demand, meaning is found in sending the demand. There is a question that follows me wherever I turn. What is expected of me? What is demanded of me?

תְּנַן הָתָם, רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹמֵר: שׁוּב יוֹם אֶחָד לִפְנֵי מִיתָתֶךָ. שָׁאֲלוּ תַּלְמִידָיו אֶת רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר: וְכִי אָדָם יוֹדֵעַ אֵיזֶהוּ יוֹם יָמוּת? אָמַר לָהֶן: וְכׇל שֶׁכֵּן, יָשׁוּב הַיּוֹם, שֶׁמָּא יָמוּת לְמָחָר, וְנִמְצָא כׇּל יָמָיו בִּתְשׁוּבָה. וְאַף שְׁלֹמֹה אָמַר בְּחׇכְמָתוֹ: ״בְּכׇל עֵת יִהְיוּ בְגָדֶיךָ לְבָנִים וְשֶׁמֶן עַל רֹאשְׁךָ אַל יֶחְסָר״.

We learned in a mishnah that Rabbi Eliezer says: Repent one day before your death. Rabbi Eliezer’s students asked him: But does a person know the day on which he will die? He said to them: All the more so this is a good piece of advice, and one should repent today lest he die tomorrow; and by following this advice one will spend his entire life in a state of repentance. And King Solomon also said in his wisdom: “At all times your clothes should be white, and oil shall not be absent from upon your head” (Ecclesiastes 9:8), meaning that a person always needs to be prepared.

Questions To Consider

a. Have you ever experienced the mysterious sense that something is being asked of you, as Heschel suggests? Have you ever felt that you are really doing precisely what you were put into the world to do?

b. Have you had an experience, or have you witnessed in a loved one, closeness to death bringing greater clarity?

(יד) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֱלֹהִ֗ים יְהִ֤י מְאֹרֹת֙ בִּרְקִ֣יעַ הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם לְהַבְדִּ֕יל בֵּ֥ין הַיּ֖וֹם וּבֵ֣ין הַלָּ֑יְלָה וְהָי֤וּ לְאֹתֹת֙ וּלְמ֣וֹעֲדִ֔ים וּלְיָמִ֖ים וְשָׁנִֽים׃ (טו) וְהָי֤וּ לִמְאוֹרֹת֙ בִּרְקִ֣יעַ הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם לְהָאִ֖יר עַל־הָאָ֑רֶץ וַֽיְהִי־כֵֽן׃ (טז) וַיַּ֣עַשׂ אֱלֹהִ֔ים אֶת־שְׁנֵ֥י הַמְּאֹרֹ֖ת הַגְּדֹלִ֑ים אֶת־הַמָּא֤וֹר הַגָּדֹל֙ לְמֶמְשֶׁ֣לֶת הַיּ֔וֹם וְאֶת־הַמָּא֤וֹר הַקָּטֹן֙ לְמֶמְשֶׁ֣לֶת הַלַּ֔יְלָה וְאֵ֖ת הַכּוֹכָבִֽים׃ (יז) וַיִּתֵּ֥ן אֹתָ֛ם אֱלֹהִ֖ים בִּרְקִ֣יעַ הַשָּׁמָ֑יִם לְהָאִ֖יר עַל־הָאָֽרֶץ׃ (יח) וְלִמְשֹׁל֙ בַּיּ֣וֹם וּבַלַּ֔יְלָה וּֽלְהַבְדִּ֔יל בֵּ֥ין הָא֖וֹר וּבֵ֣ין הַחֹ֑שֶׁךְ וַיַּ֥רְא אֱלֹהִ֖ים כִּי־טֽוֹב׃ (יט) וַֽיְהִי־עֶ֥רֶב וַֽיְהִי־בֹ֖קֶר י֥וֹם רְבִיעִֽי׃ {פ}
(14) God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate day from night; they shall serve as signs for the set times—the days and the years; (15) and they shall serve as lights in the expanse of the sky to shine upon the earth.” And it was so. (16) God made the two great lights, the greater light to dominate the day and the lesser light to dominate the night, and the stars. (17) And God set them in the expanse of the sky to shine upon the earth, (18) to dominate the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that this was good. (19) And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day.
המארת הגדולים. שָׁוִים נִבְרְאוּ וְנִתְמַעֲטָה הַלְּבָנָה עַל שֶׁקִּטְרְגָה וְאָמְרָה אִ"אֶ לִשְׁנֵי מְלָכִים שֶׁיִשְׁתַּמְּשׁוּ בְכֶתֶר אֶחָד:

THE GREAT LUMINARIES — They were created of equal size, but that of the moon was diminished because she complained and said, “It is impossible for two kings to make use of one crown” (Chullin 60b).

רבי שמעון בן פזי רמי כתיב (בראשית א, טז) ויעש אלהים את שני המאורות הגדולים וכתיב את המאור הגדול ואת המאור הקטן אמרה ירח לפני הקב"ה רבש"ע אפשר לשני מלכים שישתמשו בכתר אחד אמר לה לכי ומעטי את עצמך

אמרה לפניו רבש"ע הואיל ואמרתי לפניך דבר הגון אמעיט את עצמי אמר לה לכי ומשול ביום ובלילה אמרה ליה מאי רבותיה דשרגא בטיהרא מאי אהני אמר לה זיל לימנו בך ישראל ימים ושנים אמרה ליה יומא נמי אי אפשר דלא מנו ביה תקופותא דכתיב (בראשית א, יד) והיו לאותות ולמועדים ולימים ושנים זיל ליקרו צדיקי בשמיך (עמוס ז, ב) יעקב הקטן שמואל הקטן (שמואל א יז, יד) דוד הקטן

§ Rabbi Shimon ben Pazi raises a contradiction between two verses. It is written: “And God made the two great lights” (Genesis 1:16), and it is also written in the same verse: “The greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night,” indicating that only one was great. Rabbi Shimon ben Pazi explains: When God first created the sun and the moon, they were equally bright. Then, the moon said before the Holy Blessed One: Master of the Universe, is it possible for two kings to serve with one crown? One of us must be subservient to the other. God therefore said to her, i.e., the moon: If so, go and diminish yourself.

She said before God: Master of the Universe, since I said a correct observation before You, must I diminish myself? God said to her: As compensation, go and rule both during the day along with the sun and during the night. She said: What greatness is there in shining alongside the sun? What use is a candle in the middle of the day? God said to her: Go; let the Jewish people count the days and years with you, and this will be your greatness. She said: But the Jewish people will count with the sun as well, as it is impossible that they will not count seasons with it, as it is written: “And let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days and years” (Genesis 1:14). God said to her: Go; let righteous people be named after you. Just as you are called the lesser [hakatan] light, there will be Ya’akov HaKatan, i.e., Jacob our forefather (see Amos 7:2), Shmuel HaKatan the Rabbinic sage, and David HaKatan, i.e., King David (see I Samuel 17:14).

Questions To Consider

a. What are the Rabbis trying to communicate about power and agency? Is total mutuality really possible?

b. If you were the moon, what would you do? Have you ever been the sun or the moon in a particular relationship? What was that experience like for you?

(ג) עֲשָׂרָה נִסְיוֹנוֹת נִתְנַסָּה אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם וְעָמַד בְּכֻלָּם, לְהוֹדִיעַ כַּמָּה חִבָּתוֹ שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם:

(3) With ten trials was Abraham, our ancestor (may he rest in peace), tried, and he withstood them all; to make known how beloved was Abraham, our ancestor (peace be upon him).

אך שצריך כל אחד ואחד לבוא לידי נסיונות אף שמקבל אלקותו במחשבתו כנ״ל מכל מקום מנסין את כל אדם בעשר נסיונות כמו שאמרו באברהם עשרה נסיונות נתנסה אברהם אבינו ועמד בכולם והנסיון הוא שמסלקין ממנו ההתקשרות שהיה קשור בהשם יתברך על ידי הדעת בעת שבא לידי נסיון ונשאר אצלו רק הבחירה כי לולא זה לא היה נקרא נסיון כי בודאי על ידי ההתקשרות יאחז צדיק דרכו ועל ידי זה נתמעט הדעת אצלו לא סילוק הדעת ממש ואם עומד בנסיון על ידי שנקבע בלבו מקודם כשהיה לו דעת רחב.

However, each and every person must come into trial – even if he receives God’s Divinity into his thoughts as we have explained above – nevertheless each person is tested with ten trials, as they said about Abraham, “Abraham was tested with ten trials and withstood them all” (Mishnah, Avot 5:3). And the trial is that they strip him of the connection with which he was connected to Blessed God through awareness. At the moment when he comes into the trial, only free will remains with him; for without this it would not be called a trial. For certainly through the connection the tzaddik holds his path (Job 17:9), and in this way his awareness is diminished (though not removed entirely) and if he withstands the trial, it is because his heart carries the imprint of the expansive awareness he had before then.

Questions To Consider


a. What do you think of the idea that Abraham-- and we-- are invariably faced with critical trials, and the way we respond dictates the course of our lives?

b. Are you willing to share an experience that felt to you like a trial, a true test of your character?

c. The Maor Einayim seems to argue that the trial reflects of a person's truest self. Does that resonate with your experience? How?

Invitation To Practice: Pause and Reflect

The Jewish tradition suggests that we may come through our trials with a broader vision and deeper sense of connection. Take a few minutes to reflect and journal: when has a trial you've been through brought you to a place of greater breadth and expansiveness?