(10) You shall not pick your vineyard bare, or gather the fallen fruit of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and the stranger: I the LORD am your God. (11) You shall not steal; you shall not deal deceitfully or falsely with one another. (12) You shall not swear falsely by My name, profaning the name of your God: I am the LORD. (13) You shall not defraud your fellow. You shall not commit robbery. The wages of a laborer shall not remain with you until morning. (14) You shall not insult the deaf, or place a stumbling block before the blind. You shall fear your God: I am the LORD. (15) You shall not render an unfair decision: do not favor the poor or show deference to the rich; judge your kinsman fairly. (16) Do not deal basely with your countrymen. Do not profit by the blood of your fellow: I am the LORD. (17) You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kinsman but incur no guilt because of him.
(יז) ולא תשא עליו חטא. לֹא תַלְבִּין אֶת פָּנָיו בָּרַבִּים (עי' ספרא):
(17) ולא תשא עליו חטא-- You shall not bear a sin on his behalf. [Through rebuking him] you shall not make his face grow pale in public.
(יז) לא תשנא את אחיך. הפך ואהבת לרעך והנה אלה המצות כולם נטועות בלב ובהשמרם ישבו בארץ כי על שנאת חנם חרב בית שני
(17) You shall not hate your brother: [This is the] opposite of "Love your neighbor." And behold, these commandments are completely implanted in the heart. By keeping them, they will settle [back] in the land, since it was out of baseless hatred that the second temple was destroyed.
(יז) לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך - אם גמלך רעה לא תתראה לפניו כאוהב. ובקרבו ישים אורבו לא טוב, אל תשנאהו בלבך אלא -הוכח - תוכיחהו על מה שעשה ומתוך כך יהיה שלום
(17) "Do not hate your fellow in your heart"-- if he has done something evil to you, do not behave as if you continue to love him, all the time setting an ambush for him in your heart, rather rebuke him for what he has done, and as a result you will restore harmonious relations.
(א) אֲבָל (כג) אִם הוּא רוֹאֶה שֶׁהַחוֹטֵא הוּא מֵהָאֱוִילִים הַלֵּצִּים הַשּׂוֹנְאִים לְמוֹכִיחָם, כְּדִכְתִיב {משלי ט' ח'}: "אַל תּוֹכַח לֵץ פֶּן יִשְׂנָאֶךְ ", וּבְוַדַּאי לֹא יִתְקַבְּלוּ דְּבָרָיו בְּאָזְנָיו, וַאֲנָשִׁים כָּאֵלּוּ בְּנָקֵל לָהֶם לִשְׁנוֹת בְּאִוַּלְתָּם, וְאִם כֵּן יוּכַל לִהְיוֹת שֶׁיָּבוֹא עוֹד הַפַּעַם לִידֵי חֵטְא, עַל כֵּן טוֹב לָהֶם, שֶׁיַּגִּידוּ לְדַיָּנִי הָעִיר, כְּדֵי שֶׁהֵם יְיַסְרוּהוּ עַל עֲוֹנוֹ וְיַפְרִישׁוּהוּ מֵהָאִסוּר עַל לְהַבָּא, וְנִרְאֶה דְּהוּא הַדִּין (כד) לִקְרוֹבָיו שֶׁל הַחוֹטֵא, אִם דִּבְרֵיהֶם יִהְיוּ מִתְקַבְּלִין לוֹ, וְעַיֵּן בִּבְאֵר מַיִם חַיִּים. וְכָל כַּוָּנַת הַמְסַפֵּר תִּהְיֶה לְשֵׁם שָׁמַיִם וּבְקִּנְאַת ה', לֹא בְּשִׂנְאָתוֹ לוֹ עַל דָּבָר אַחֵר. וְהַשּׁוֹפְטִים גַּם כֵּן יְיַסְרוּ אֶת הַחוֹטֵא (כה) בְּהַצְּנִעַ וְלֹא יַלְבִּינוּ פָּנָיו בָּרַבִּים, כְּדִכְתִיב "הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא" וְכָל זֶה אִם רָאוּהוּ בִּשְׁנַיִם, אֲבָל אִם הוּא עֵד אֶחָד, (כו) לֹא יָעִיד עַל חֲבֵרוֹ, כִּי עֵדוּתוֹ חִנָּם, לְפִי שֶׁאֵין סוֹמְכִין עָלֶיהָ כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר {דברים י"ט ט"ו}: "לֹא יָקוּם עֵד אֶחָד בְּאִישׁ לְכָל עָוֹן וּלְכָל חַטָאת". לָכֵן מוֹצִּיא שֵׁם רַע יֵחָשֵׁב
(1) But if they see that the sinner is one of the foolish scoffers who hate their reprovers, as it is written (Mishlei 9:8): "Do not reprove the scoffer, lest he hate you," and their words will certainly not be accepted, and men such as these readily return to their folly, so that he may very likely come to sin again — if so, it is better for them if they tell it to the judges of the city, so that they chastise him for his sin and keep him from future transgression. And it would seem that the same holds true for [telling] the relatives of the sinner if [we know that] their words [of reproof] will be accepted by him. And the entire intent of the teller should be for the sake of Heaven and in zeal for the Lrd, and not because of their hatred of him for something else.
And the judges, too, should chastise the sinner in secret and not "whiten his face" in public, as it is written (Vayikra 19:17): "Reprove shall you reprove your neighbor, but do not bear sin because of him." And all this if they saw him with two witnesses, but if he were a single witness, he may not testify against his friend, for his testimony is in vain, the judges being unable to rely upon it (Devarim 19:15): "One witness shall not arise against a man for every transgression and for every sin." Therefore, [if he does so], he is considered a motzi shem ra [the spreader of an evil report].
(ו) כְּשֶׁיֶּחְטָא אִישׁ לְאִישׁ לֹא יִשְׂטְמֶנּוּ וְיִשְׁתֹּק כְּמוֹ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר בָּרְשָׁעִים (שמואל ב יג-כב) "וְלֹא דִבֶּר אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֶת אַמְנוֹן מְאוּמָה לְמֵרָע וְעַד טוֹב כִּי שָׂנֵא אַבְשָׁלוֹם אֶת אַמְנוֹן". אֶלָּא מִצְוָה עָלָיו לְהוֹדִיעוֹ וְלוֹמַר לוֹ לָמָּה עָשִׂיתָ לִי כָּךְ וְכָךְ וְלָמָּה חָטָאתָ לִי בְּדָבָר פְּלוֹנִי. שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט-יז) "הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ".
וְאִם חָזַר וּבִקֵּשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ לִמְחל לוֹ צָרִיךְ לִמְחל. וְלֹא יְהֵא הַמּוֹחֵל אַכְזָרִי שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (בראשית כ-יז) "וַיִּתְפַּלֵּל אַבְרָהָם אֶל הָאֱלֹהִים":
(6) When one person sins against [another, the latter] should not despise him and be silent, as it states concerning the wicked ones, "And Avshalom did not speak to Amonon, neither bad nor good because Avshalom hated Amnon" (II Samuel 13:22). Rather, it is a commandment to inform him and say to him, "Why did you do this and that to me? And why did you wrong me in matter x?" As it states, "you shall surely rebuke your kinsman" (Leviticus 19:17).
And if he returns and asks that he forgives him, he needs to forgive. And the one forgiving should not be cruel as it states, "And Abraham prayed to G-d and G-d healed Abimelech and his wife..." (Genesis 20:17).
(ז) הָרוֹאֶה חֲבֵרוֹ שֶׁחָטָא אוֹ שֶׁהָלַךְ בְּדֶרֶךְ לֹא טוֹבָה מִצְוָה לְהַחֲזִירוֹ לַמּוּטָב וּלְהוֹדִיעוֹ שֶׁהוּא חוֹטֵא עַל עַצְמוֹ בְּמַעֲשָׂיו הָרָעִים שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט-יז) "הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ אֶת עֲמִיתֶךָ". הַמּוֹכִיחַ אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ. בֵּין בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵינוֹ. בֵּין בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵין הַמָּקוֹם. צָרִיךְ לְהוֹכִיחוֹ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין עַצְמוֹ. וִידַבֵּר לוֹ בְּנַחַת וּבְלָשׁוֹן רַכָּה וְיוֹדִיעוֹ שֶׁאֵינוֹ אוֹמֵר לוֹ אֶלָּא לְטוֹבָתוֹ לַהֲבִיאוֹ לְחַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא. אִם קִבֵּל מִמֶּנּוּ מוּטָב וְאִם לָאו יוֹכִיחֶנּוּ פַּעַם שְׁנִיָּה וּשְׁלִישִׁית. וְכֵן תָּמִיד חַיָּב אָדָם לְהוֹכִיחוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּכֵּהוּ הַחוֹטֵא וְיֹאמַר לוֹ אֵינִי שׁוֹמֵעַ. וְכָל שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר בְּיָדוֹ לִמְחוֹת וְאֵינוֹ מוֹחֶה הוּא נִתְפָּשׂ בַּעֲוֹן אֵלּוּ כֵּיוָן שֶׁאֶפְשָׁר לוֹ לִמְחוֹת בָּהֶם:
(7) [Regarding] one who sees his fellow sin or follow a path that is not good, it is a commandment to bring him back to the good and to inform him that he is sinning against himself with his wicked deeds, as it states, "you shall surely rebuke your kinsman" (Leviticus 19:17). One who rebukes his fellow - whether over matters that are between him and his fellow or matters between him and the Omnipresent - needs to rebuke him privately and speak to him calmly and in a soft tone and inform him that he is only speaking to him for his [own] good, to bring him to the life of the world to come. If he accepts [the rebuke] from him, it is good. And if he does not, he should rebuke him a second time and a third. Thus a person is always obligated to rebuke him until the sinner strikes him and says "I will not listen." Anyone that has the possibility to rebuke and does not rebuke - he is caught in that sin, because he had the possibility to rebuke [him] about them.
"הַמַּלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵרוֹ בָּרַבִּים אֵין לוֹ חֵלֶק לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא". לְפִיכָךְ צָרִיךְ אָדָם לְהִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא לְבַיֵּשׁ חֲבֵרוֹ בָּרַבִּים בֵּין קָטָן בֵּין גָּדוֹל. וְלֹא יִקְרָא לוֹ בְּשֵׁם שֶׁהוּא בּוֹשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ. וְלֹא יְסַפֵּר לְפָנָיו דָּבָר שֶׁהוּא בּוֹשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ. בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ.
אֲבָל בְּדִבְרֵי שָׁמַיִם אִם לֹא חָזַר בּוֹ בַּסֵּתֶר מַכְלִימִין אוֹתוֹ בָּרַבִּים וּמְפַרְסְמִים חֶטְאוֹ וּמְחָרְפִים אוֹתוֹ בְּפָנָיו וּמְבַזִּין וּמְקַלְּלִין אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּחֲזֹר לַמּוּטָב כְּמוֹ שֶׁעָשׂוּ כָּל הַנְּבִיאִים בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל:
....Our sages say (Sanhedrin 107a), "One who whitens the face of his fellow in public does not have a share in the world to come." Therefore a person needs to be careful not to embarrass his fellow in public, whether [the one he rebukes] is lesser or greater, He should not call him a name that causes him shame, nor tell a story that causes him shame. To what do these words apply? To matters that are between him and his fellow.
But regarding heavenly matters, if he does not repent [after being rebuked] in private, we embarrass him in public and publicize his sin and insult him to his face. And we scorn and curse him until he returns to the good, as did all the prophets in Israel.
(ט) מִי שֶׁחָטָא עָלָיו חֲבֵרוֹ וְלֹא רָצָה לְהוֹכִיחוֹ וְלֹא לְדַבֵּר לוֹ כְּלוּם מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהָיָה הַחוֹטֵא הֶדְיוֹט בְּיוֹתֵר. אוֹ שֶׁהָיְתָה דַּעְתּוֹ מְשֻׁבֶּשֶׁת. וּמָחַל לוֹ בְּלִבּוֹ וְלֹא שְׂטָמוֹ וְלֹא הוֹכִיחוֹ הֲרֵי זוֹ מִדַּת חֲסִידוּת.
(9) One who has been wronged by his fellow and does not want to rebuke him and [does] not [want] to speak to him [about it] at all - because the sinner was exceedingly pedestrian or because his mind was confused - and forgives him in his heart and does not despise him and does not rebuke him; behold, this is the trait of piety.
(ג) והוכיח אברהם את אבימלך וגו' - אמר רבי יוסי בר חנינא: התוכחת מביאה לידי אהבה, שנאמר (משלי ט): הוכח לחכם ויאהבך. היא דעתיה דרבי יוסי בר חנינא דאמר: כל אהבה שאין עמה תוכחה, אינה אהבה. אמר ריש לקיש: תוכחה מביאה לידי שלום, והוכיח אברהם את אבימלך, היא דעתיה, דאמר: כל שלום שאין עמו תוכחה, אינו שלום.
(3) And Abraham rebuked Avimelech: R. Yosi ben R. Hanina said: Rebuke leads to love, as it says, rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Such indeed is R. Yosi ben Hanina’s view, for he said: Love unaccompanied by rebuke is not love. Resh Lakish said: Rebuke leads to peace; hence, ‘And Abrhaman reproved Avimelech’. Such is his view, for he said: Peace unaccompanied by rebuke is not peace.
(ג) (דף לא) אמר ליה ההוא מדרבנן לרבא ואימא (ויקרא יט יז) הוכח חדא זימנא תוכיח תרי זימני אמר ליה הוכח אפילו מאה פעמים משמע תוכיח אין לי אלא הרב לתלמיד תלמיד לרב מנין תלמוד לומר הוכח תוכיח מכל מקום:
A rabbinic sage said to Raba according to Leviticus 19:17, when it says you shall surely rebuke -- hoche'ach means rebuke once, and tochiach means twice?
Raba says: hoche'ach means even a hundred times, and tochi'ach means that not only the master must rebuke his pupil [when seeing him acting wrong], but even the pupil must do so to his master."