Interfaith Relationships

Discussion Qs:
1. These are the two main instances of inter-cultural relationships in the Torah. What do you notice?
2. In Abraham's case, Hagar is a concubine, not a wife in the same way that Sarah is. Does this change anything?
3. Moses, one of our greatest prophets, married a non-Israelite. Is this pro- inter-cultural marriage, or anti-, considering his family gossiped about him behind his back?

Discussion Questions:
1. This is the beginning of matrilineal descent. Unlike in the Torah, this Mishnah says that the mother determines the child's Jewishness (in contrast to Abraham for example). Do you agree with the Talmud's assessment? How would you interpret Deut. 7:3-4?

Discussion Questions:
1. What is the worry about intermarriage?
2. Is this the same worry today?
3. Do you agree that this is a problem? Why/why not?

American Intermarriage Trends
In the United States, intermarriage was rare until the middle of the 20th century, with rates never rising above 3%.
According to Brandeis professor Jonathan Sarna, it was mostly men who married out of the faith, largely because more men than women immigrated to America and because women were kept under stricter social control.
Sarna points to a singular tension that characterized the attitude of American Jews toward outsiders: They wanted to have close social relations with them, yet not so close that Jews intermarried.
By the 1960s, it became impossible to maintain this balance any longer, he says. As social mores loosened, America became more of a melting pot. Irish, Italians, Catholics, Protestants, Blacks and whites increasingly cohabitated. The friction between Jews and other groups also eased.
In 1964, the intermarriage rate had risen to 7%, and Look magazine published a cover story on "The Vanishing American Jew." Clearly, that wasn't the case.
The 1990 National Jewish Population Survey showed that 52% of Jews were intermarried. Responses included:

• "A second Holocaust" is how one group of Orthodox rabbis described what was happening.
• "We are probably witnessing the last generation of Jewish life in America as we now know it," a leading rabbi wrote in the Los Angeles Times.
• And Harvard Law School professor warned that Jews were "in danger of disappearing." Intermarriage, he wrote, was a "threat to our survival as a people."

Recent surveys by Brandeis' Cohen Center for Modern Jewish Studies and the Pew Research Center show that 7.6 million Americans identify as Jewish, a 35% increase since 1990.
According to Pew, about two-thirds of intermarried couples raise their children Jewish. In a typical intermarried family — one Jewish parent and two kids — this means the Jewish population doubles in a generation.
Some scholars still argue that, although the children of intermarried couples identify as Jewish, they lack the commitment to Jewish learning and culture that previous generations held. Over time, they say, this will lead to a weakening or a dumbing down of what it means to be Jewish. For many Jews, being Jewish will mean no more than liking Mel Brooks movies and occasionally cooking brisket.
The 2013 Pew Study showed that 44% of Jews were intermarried, showing a slight decline since the 1990 survey. The 2020 Pew Study showed that among those who are married, 42% indicated they have a non-Jewish spouse. Among those who had gotten married since 2010, 61% are intermarried.

Summary of Conservative Movement decision in 2017
Conservative/ Masorti Judaism, like all traditional Judaism, cherishes the mission of the Jewish people to deepen the ancient covenant between God and the Children of Israel. For that reason, rabbinic officiation is limited to events that celebrate covenantal commitment for members of the covenant: brit milah (circumcision), simchat bat (baby naming for daughters), bar and bat mitzvah, weddings, and funerals. Judaism survives as a communal system, worldwide and across generations, by changing as little as possible as late as possible, modifying it only when necessary and only when there isn’t already a solution within the system of halakhah (Jewish law). Honoring the integrity of both partners in a wedding, and for the sake of deepening faithful Jewish living, rabbinic officiation at weddings is restricted to a marriage between two Jews. We also recognize the precious personal good of finding a loving partner and that all people can benefit from access to Jewish wisdom and community, so we call upon all Conservative/ Masorti rabbis and congregations to foster deep and loving relationships with all couples, and to create a rabbinic relationship that is broader and deeper than simply the moment of officiation. To achieve both the desired goal of rabbinic officiation and the goal of meaningful Torah observance, we invite the non-Jewish partner who seeks rabbinic officiation to share responsibility with the rabbi by studying Judaism and then linking their identity with the destiny of the Jewish people through conversion.

Reform Movement Responsum 1980 (ARR 445-465)
Reform Judaism and the Central Conference of American Rabbis has opposed mixed marriages. We recognize the problem as significant in every period of Jewish history. It has become more severe in 20th-century America, and, therefore we have made provisions for families of mixed marriages and their children. They are welcome in our congregations, and we continue to urge them to convert to Judaism. The Conference resolution of 1973 succinctly summarizes our position:
The Central Conference of American Rabbis, recalling its stand adopted in 1909 that “mixed marriage is contrary to the Jewish tradition and should be discouraged,” now declares its opposition to participation by its members in any ceremony which solemnizes a mixed marriage. The Central Conference of American Rabbis recognizes that historically its members have held and continue to hold divergent interpretations of Jewish tradition. In order to keep open every channel to Judaism and K’lal Yisrael for those who have already entered into mixed marriage, the CCAR calls upon its members:
1. to assist fully in educating children of such mixed marriage as Jews;
2. to provide the opportunity for conversion of the non-Jewish spouse; and
3. to encourage a creative and consistent cultivation of involvement in the Jewish community and the synagogue.

(2018) The vast majority of Reform rabbis will perform interfaith marriages, but most will not co-officiate weddings with non-Jewish clergy, a new study found. According to the survey, 84% of Reform rabbis perform intermarriages, while 16% do not. Among Reconstructionist rabbis, 88% officiate at intermarriages and 12% do not. 8 Conservative rabbis of the 59 surveyed said they officiate at intermarriages despite a prohibition by their movement.
Most Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis (59 percent) require couples they marry to commit to keeping a Jewish home and/or raising Jewish children, according to the survey. Forty-three percent of rabbis from the two denominations require that the children not be “promised” to another faith, and 22 percent require that the non-Jewish partner not be committed to another religion.
About a quarter of the Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis require the couple to study Judaism ahead of the wedding, and nearly a third said they counsel interfaith couples differently than couples in which both people are Jewish.