Vayetzei - וַיֵּצֵא - Genesis B'reisheet 28:10 - 32:3 Making Torah Personal ~ Savlanut

Studying selected verses of the parsha through the lens of Mussar---exploring the character trait of Savlanut / סבלנות/ Patience

The middah of Savlanut/סבלנות/ Patience/
Although classically, the parsha might be related to patience regarding how long Jacob needed to wait before being able to marry Rachel, patience is related to the quality of noticing, of being present, which Jacob discovers through his encounter with God.

Bullet Points /key concepts:

Jacob embarks on a journey, and on the way, has a dream with a ladder and angels---one of the most spiritual dreams in Western religions. [28:10-22]
Through this dream we confront our own pre-occupation with self, and our inability to experience a concealed HaShem.
Jacob becomes a member of Laban's family and works for Laban for 7 years to gain the ability to marry Rachel, "is tricked" and marries Leah first.[29:16-25] He must work 7 more years in order to marry Rachel.[29:26-30]
Leah, Rachel, and their maidservants [Bilhah and Zilpah], give birth to 11 sons and one daughter [Dinah].
Jacob flees Laban's home with great wealth. [31:1-32:3]

Noticing, Having Patience: The invisible

The root word of Savlanut is Sevel סבל: suffering, pain, hardship. The root word in Hebrew (S-B-L: samech, bet, lamed) is shared by sabal (meaning a porter--someone who carries), sevolet (tolerance), sovel (burden or load). How do these terms relate to patience? What is the connection between carrying your own burden or others?

What do we notice and not notice? How much is our attention taken away by mundane tasks that we need to do? What do we need to do in order to experience HaShem, even in the ordinary?

Patience is the root of all positive middot and developed character… "Take time, be exact, unclutter the mind."
~Rabbi Simcha Zissel, the Alter of Kelm

Do not be hasty in your actions ~Orchot Chaim, Rabbeinu Asher

Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/mindfulness

What is patience? The patient person is exactly like someone who is carrying a heavy package. Even though it weighs upon him, he continues to go upon his way and doesn't take a break from carrying it. The same is true in all the relationships that are between people: we see and hear many things that are not according to our will and still we continue to be friends. ~Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe

It is well known that King Solomon used to wear a ring with three Jewish letters, ‘gimmel,’ ‘zayen’ and ‘yud.’ These three letters are an abbreviation of three words “Gam Zeh Yaavor” – גםזה יעבור this too shall pass.....[even]King Solomon needed to be reminded during his difficulties that “this too shall pass” and trust that we will overcome! ~Rabbi Levi Volovik

How did Rabbi Akiva start out? They said: he was forty years old and had never studied anything. Once he stood at a well. He said, "Who engraved this stone?" They told him, "[It was] the water, which drips upon it every day." And they said to him, "Akiva, are you not familiar [with the verse,] 'As the waters wear away the stones'?" On the spot, Rabbi Akiva made the following deduction: If something soft [like water] could chisel its way through something hard [like stone], then surely the words of Torah, which are as hard as iron, can penetrate my heart, which is flesh and blood!" Immediately, he returned to studying Torah.~Avot d'Rebbe Natan, chapter 6

בראשית כ״ח:י׳-י״ב

(י) וַיֵּצֵ֥א יַעֲקֹ֖ב מִבְּאֵ֣ר שָׁ֑בַע וַיֵּ֖לֶךְ חָרָֽנָה׃(יא) וַיִּפְגַּ֨עבַּמָּק֜וֹם וַיָּ֤לֶן שָׁם֙ כִּי־בָ֣א הַשֶּׁ֔מֶשׁ וַיִּקַּח֙ מֵאַבְנֵ֣י הַמָּק֔וֹם וַיָּ֖שֶׂם מְרַֽאֲשֹׁתָ֑יו וַיִּשְׁכַּ֖ב בַּמָּק֥וֹם הַהֽוּא׃(יב) וַֽיַּחֲלֹ֗ם וְהִנֵּ֤ה סֻלָּם֙ מֻצָּ֣ב אַ֔רְצָה וְרֹאשׁ֖וֹ מַגִּ֣יעַהַשָּׁמָ֑יְמָה וְהִנֵּה֙ מַלְאֲכֵ֣י אֱלֹהִ֔ים עֹלִ֥ים וְיֹרְדִ֖ים בּֽוֹ׃

Genesis 28:10-12

(10) Jacob left Beer-sheba, and set out for Haran.(11) He came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place.(12) He had a dream; a stairway was set on the ground and its top reached to the sky, and messengers of God were going up and down on it.

ספורנו על בראשית כ״ח:י״א:א׳

ויפגע במקום. קרה לו שהגיע אל מקום שלא כיון אליו וענין המקום הוא מקום ללון לאורחים שהי' מתוקן אז בכל עיר ועיר ברחוב העיר על הרוב ועל כל זה אמרו המלאכים ללוט כי ברחוב נלין וכן בענין פלגש בגבעה רק ברחוב אל תלן:

Sforno on Genesis 28:11:1

ויפגע במקום, it happened that he came to a place he had not intended to go to at all. The meaning of the word המקום is that it was a place designed to accommodate travelers overnight. Every town had such an inn in its public square. This is also why the angels who came to Lot said (19,20) כי ברחוב נלין, “we will sleep in (the inn) in the public square. The same expression is also used in connection with the פלגש בגבעה in Judges 19,20 where we read רק ברחוב אל תלין “only do not spend the night in the public inn.”

Commentators disagree on where "the Makom" is...some say Beersheva, some say Mount Moriah, some say Mount Sinai. What do you think? What might the exact location of a geographic place infer? What is the teaching if we don't really know the place?

ברכות כ״ו ב:ז׳

יַעֲקֹב תִּקֵּן תְּפִלַּת עַרְבִית, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וַיִּפְגַּע בַּמָּקוֹם וַיָּלֶן שָׁם״, וְאֵין ״פְּגִיעָה״ אֶלָּא תְּפִלָּה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וְאַתָּה אַל תִּתְפַּלֵּל בְּעַד הָעָם הַזֶּה וְאַל תִּשָּׂא בַעֲדָם רִנָּה וּתְפִלָּה וְאַל תִּפְגַּע בִּי״

Berakhot 26b:7

Jacob instituted the evening prayer, as it is stated: “And he encountered [vayifga] the place and he slept there for the sun had set” (Genesis 28:11). The word encounter means nothing other than prayer, as it is stated when God spoke to Jeremiah: “And you, do not pray on behalf of this nation and do not raise on their behalf song and prayer, and do not encounter [tifga] Me for I do not hear you” (Jeremiah 7:16). Jacob prayed during the evening, after the sun had set.

רש"י על בראשית כ״ח:י״ב:א׳

(א)עולים ויורדים. עולים תחלה ואחר כך יורדים, מלאכים שלווהו בארץ אין יוצאים חוצה לארץ ועלו לרקיע, וירדו מלאכי חוצה לארץ ללוותו:

Rashi on Genesis 28:12:1

Going up and down - Going up first and afterwards down; angels who accompany him in the land do not leave the land, but go up to the sky, and angels from outside the land go down to accompany him.

אבן עזרא על בראשית כ״ח:י״ב

(א) ודרך סלם להיות סמל או על מספר סיני דרש הוא.

ויהוה'ר שלמה הספרדי אמר כי סלם רמז לנשמה העליונה ומלאכי אלהים מחשבות החכמה.

ויאמר רבי ישועה כי טעם סולם שעלתה בו תפלתו וירדה ישועתו מן השמים

גם כן כתוב ומלאכים אחרים יורדים למלאות שליחות השם כדרך מלך משרתיו

Ibn Ezra on Genesis 28:12

It is common for a sulam (ramp, ladder) to be a symbol, or it is the same numerical value as "Sinai."

Rabbi Shlomo from Spain said that a ladder is a hint about the higher soul, and the mal'achim of God are thoughts of wisdom.

And Rabbi Yeshua said that the reason for a ladder is that prayers go up it, and God's salvation comes down from the heavens...

...And it is also written: and other messengers go down to fulfill their divine tasks, like a king and his servants.

בראשית כ״ח:י״ג-ט״ו

(יג) וְהִנֵּ֨ה יהוה נִצָּ֣ב עָלָיו֮ וַיֹּאמַר֒ אֲנִ֣י יהוה אֱלֹהֵי֙ אַבְרָהָ֣ם אָבִ֔יךָ וֵאלֹהֵ֖י יִצְחָ֑ק הָאָ֗רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֤ר אַתָּה֙ שֹׁכֵ֣ב עָלֶ֔יהָ לְךָ֥ אֶתְּנֶ֖נָּה וּלְזַרְעֶֽךָ׃(יד) וְהָיָ֤ה זַרְעֲךָ֙ כַּעֲפַ֣ר הָאָ֔רֶץ וּפָרַצְתָּ֛ יָ֥מָּה וָקֵ֖דְמָה וְצָפֹ֣נָה וָנֶ֑גְבָּה וְנִבְרְכ֥וּ בְךָ֛ כׇּל־מִשְׁפְּחֹ֥ת הָאֲדָמָ֖ה וּבְזַרְעֶֽךָ׃(טו) וְהִנֵּ֨ה אָנֹכִ֜י עִמָּ֗ךְוּשְׁמַרְתִּ֙יךָ֙ בְּכֹ֣ל אֲשֶׁר־תֵּלֵ֔ךְ וַהֲשִׁ֣בֹתִ֔יךָ אֶל־הָאֲדָמָ֖ה הַזֹּ֑את כִּ֚י לֹ֣א אֶֽעֱזׇבְךָ֔ עַ֚ד אֲשֶׁ֣ר אִם־עָשִׂ֔יתִי אֵ֥ת אֲשֶׁר־דִּבַּ֖רְתִּי לָֽךְ׃

Genesis 28:13-15

(13) And standing beside him was יהוה, who said, “I am יהוה, the God of your father Abraham’s [house] and the God of Isaac’s [house]: the ground on which you are lying I will assign to you and to your offspring.(14) Your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All the families of the earth shall bless themselves by you and your descendants.(15)Remember, I am with you: I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

נָצַב (v) heb

to stand, take one's stand, stand upright, be set (over), establish

בראשית כ״ח:ט״ז-י״ט

(טז) וַיִּיקַ֣ץ יַעֲקֹב֮ מִשְּׁנָתוֹ֒ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אָכֵן֙ יֵ֣שׁ יהוה בַּמָּק֖וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה וְאָנֹכִ֖י לֹ֥א יָדָֽעְתִּי׃(יז) וַיִּירָא֙ וַיֹּאמַ֔ר מַה־נּוֹרָ֖א הַמָּק֣וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה אֵ֣ין זֶ֗ה כִּ֚י אִם־בֵּ֣ית אֱלֹהִ֔ים וְזֶ֖ה שַׁ֥עַר הַשָּׁמָֽיִם׃(יח) וַיַּשְׁכֵּ֨ם יַעֲקֹ֜ב בַּבֹּ֗קֶר וַיִּקַּ֤ח אֶת־הָאֶ֙בֶן֙ אֲשֶׁר־שָׂ֣ם מְרַֽאֲשֹׁתָ֔יו וַיָּ֥שֶׂם אֹתָ֖הּ מַצֵּבָ֑ה וַיִּצֹ֥ק שֶׁ֖מֶן עַל־רֹאשָֽׁהּ׃(יט) וַיִּקְרָ֛א אֶת־שֵֽׁם־הַמָּק֥וֹם הַה֖וּא בֵּֽית־אֵ֑ל וְאוּלָ֛ם ל֥וּז שֵׁם־הָעִ֖יר לָרִאשֹׁנָֽה׃

Genesis 28:16-19

(16) Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely יהוה is present in this place, and I did not know it!”(17) Shaken, he said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the abode of God, and that is the gateway to heaven.”(18) Early in the morning, Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on the top of it.(19) He named that site Bethel; but previously the name of the city had been Luz.

What conditions do you need in order to notice, pay attention, be present? How does being patient or impatient affect your ability to be in the present? What hinders your ability to be present or notice?

This interpretation of Yaacov's spiritual awakening issues both a deep challenge and an invitation. It forces us to contend with the paradoxical truth that sometimes thinking too much about God can get in the way of having a relationship with God; that Torah can actually be an obstacle to tefilla. And it charges us to find a way to pray, to render God intensely real. Awakening to the divine, it turns out, sometimes requires going to sleep a bit, quieting our vigilant minds so that our hearts might open to a new, surprising dream. ~ Rabbi Dr. Erin Leib Smokler

The verse literally reads, "Surely God was in this place and I, i did not know." The sense is "...and me, I didn't know." But the "I" (in Hebrew, Anochi, אנוכי) seems to be redundant. Unless, of course, you assume, as Jews have done for millennia, that God does not waste words.
The simple "extra I" (which the school of Kotzk identifies as ego or conceit) leads Pinchas Horowitz...to an important insight. "It is only possible for a person to attain that high rung of being able to say, 'Surely God is in this place,' when he or she has utterly eradicated all trace of ego from his or her personality, from his or her sense of self, and from his or her being. The phrase, 'I, i did not know,' must mean, 'my I - i did not know....God was here all along, and the reason I didn't know it is because I was too busy paying attention to myself."
Religious life demands constant vigilance against the schemes of our egos (the little is) to supplant the Divine.
~God Was In This Place & I, i Did Not Know by Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

שמות כ׳:ב׳

(ב) אָֽנֹכִ֖י֙ יהוה אֱלֹהֶ֑֔יךָ אֲשֶׁ֧ר הוֹצֵאתִ֛יךָ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם מִבֵּ֣֥ית עֲבָדִ֑͏ֽים׃

Exodus 20:2

(2) I יהוה am your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, the house of bondage:

There is a midrash [in Genesis Rabbah 69:7] that says that Jacob awoke not from his sleep (mishnato) but from his Mishnayot (mimishnato). From this we learn that the essence of a person's worship is to come to perfect service of God and to grasp the meaning of God through both Torah and tefilla. There cannot be one without the other, because an ignoramus does not become a pious Hasid; and conversely, one who says, “there is nothing in the world for me except Torah” does not have even Torah. It is true that by studying Torah for the sake of heaven and cleaving one’s soul and one’s very being to the letters of the Torah, a person can achieve great holiness; but a person can only truly fear and love and yearn for God through prayer, and through the surrendering of the self that prayer entails, as we know from all our holy books. Our sages of blessed memory taught that when Jacob had his dream at Beit El, he established the evening prayer, Arvit. Until this point, Jacob had not known the secret of prayer. God did not reveal Himself to him until he became aware of its tremendous power. And this is the meaning of the midrash that says that Jacob awoke from his Mishnayot...upon awakening, he realized that Torah alone would not bring him to a full awareness of God. Jacob said, “Surely the Lord is present” – meaning that through prayer, he was able to better understand God than he ever could through Torah alone. “And I did not know it” – meaning that I did not know the tremendous power of prayer, which enables us to come to know God in full fervor, and brings us, therefore, to the gates of heaven.
~Maor VeShemesh, Vayetze, "And he dreamt", Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Epstein of Cracow,

בראשית כ״ח:כ׳-כ״ב

(כ) וַיִּדַּ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב נֶ֣דֶר לֵאמֹ֑ר אִם־יִהְיֶ֨ה אֱלֹהִ֜ים עִמָּדִ֗י וּשְׁמָרַ֙נִי֙ בַּדֶּ֤רֶךְ הַזֶּה֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אָנֹכִ֣י הוֹלֵ֔ךְ וְנָֽתַן־לִ֥י לֶ֛חֶם לֶאֱכֹ֖ל וּבֶ֥גֶד לִלְבֹּֽשׁ׃(כא) וְשַׁבְתִּ֥י בְשָׁל֖וֹם אֶל־בֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑י וְהָיָ֧ה יהוה לִ֖י לֵאלֹהִֽים׃(כב) וְהָאֶ֣בֶן הַזֹּ֗את אֲשֶׁר־שַׂ֙מְתִּי֙ מַצֵּבָ֔ה יִהְיֶ֖ה בֵּ֣ית אֱלֹהִ֑ים וְכֹל֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר תִּתֶּן־לִ֔י עַשֵּׂ֖ר אֲעַשְּׂרֶ֥נּוּ לָֽךְ׃

Genesis 28:20-22

(20) Jacob then made a vow, saying, “If God remains with me, protecting me on this journey that I am making, and giving me bread to eat and clothing to wear,(21) and I return safe to my father’s house— יהוה shall be my God.(22) And this stone, which I have set up as a pillar, shall be God’s abode; and of all that You give me, I will set aside a tithe for You.”

What about the content of Jacob's prayer might have bothered commentators?

Bible scholar Nechama Leibowitz z"l writes that Jacob was 'not making a deal with God'. Rather, Jacob meant that if God did not allow him to return to his father's house, how could he erect a temple on that spot? Jacob's vow instead implied that he was asking to serve God.

אבן עזרא על בראשית כ״ח:י״ב

Ibn Ezra on Genesis 28:12

Jacob's journey is blessed at its outset with a dream and with a moment of awakening. In the dream God shows Jacob the stairway that connects the realms of Heaven and Earth and then gives him a promise. Through this blessing we ourselves becomes that stairway, that connection, with our feet planted in the foundation of Earth and our crowns open to the expanse of Heaven. Through us the Divine flow pours down into the earthly realms, Through us the pleasure and miseries of earthly experience are offered up to The Divine Expanse.
~ Torah Journeys -Vayetze, Rabbi Shefa Gold

“When something happens to you and you did not have the power to control it, do not aggravate the situation further through wasted anxiety or grief.”
~Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Satanov