Introduction:
About two weeks ago I received a Whatsapp notification from the Seattle Jewish funeral Chapel asking if a few of us were available to go to Anchorage Alaska to perform a Taharah. It was Thursday afternoon which meant we would have to leave that night or motzei Shabbat at the latest. Jewish funerals, as I am sure you are aware, occur as quickly as possible after death so we were working under a time restraint. As it turned out we could not fly into Anchorage until Sunday morning. And so I made my first trip to Alaska - leaving at 6 AM and returning to Seattle later that same day.
Marilyn and I have been members of the Hevra Kadisha for the last eight months. Hevra Kadisha, literally, the Holy Society, is the name given to a group of volunteers who prepare a person for burial once they pass away. Shortly after moving to Seward Park, we decided this is something that we wanted to do, not because it is easy but because it is so important and such powerful work. Being a member of a Hevra Kadisha is both physically and emotionally demanding. We had served as members of the Hevra Kadisha in my first community, in Knoxville Tennessee, but I quickly discovered that as a Rabbi it was difficult for me to be available for the work of the Hevra Kadisha when my first responsibility is comforting and caring for the survivors while others took care of the dead.
Hayye Sarah, opens with the death of Sarah. Abraham finds himself alone and disconnected from the community - he must arrange for his wife’s burial but he is subject to the whims of the locals, who call him a Nesi Elohim but demand exorbitant fees for the burial of his family. We know nothing about the funeral practices in the time of Abraham, but we do know that proper burial was a priority. Elsewhere we encounter the ceremonies of death and bereavement - these ceremonies become essential in helping loved ones to find closure and comfort.
1. Why does Abraham describe himself as a Ger V'toshav, resident alien, when he speaks to the locals in Hebron?
2. Why does he ask the elders to intercede with Ephron on his behalf? Ephron is in the room - why not talk directly to him?
There is a very specific set of customs and practices involved in preparing a person for burial.The body must be properly washed and purified, and dressed in shrouds. From the opening prayers in which we ask for the strength to treat the Meyt with Hesed and Emet - with true loving kindness - to the conclusion of the ceremony when we ask their forgiveness for anything we may have done improperly or disrespectfully, we focus on the meyt not as a corpse but as a person, as a sacred receptacle of the soul
The practices of the Hevra Kadisha differ from place to place and from community to community. It is not clear where these practices come from or why there is such diversity in the customs of the Hevra Kadisha. In the Mishnah Torah, the Rambam does not lay out the specifics but he states that “Attending to the needs of a burial, is a positive commandment of rabbinic origin (See first source). He says however that it is part of a larger mitzvah d'oraita, “V’havta Le’reiacha Kamocha, to “love your neighbor as yourself.” He explains this according to the positive reading of Hillel’s interpretation - do for others what you would have them do for you.
Rashi goes one step farther when he comments on Deuteronomy 34:26 (Source) that this act is nothing less than imitatio dei - Just as God saw to the proper burial of Moses, we bury the dead. But he says little about the actual practices.
(א) מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל דִּבְרֵיהֶם לְבַקֵּר חוֹלִים. וּלְנַחֵם אֲבֵלִים. וּלְהוֹצִיא הַמֵּת. וּלְהַכְנִיס הַכַּלָּה. וּלְלַוּוֹת הָאוֹרְחִים. וּלְהִתְעַסֵּק בְּכָל צָרְכֵי הַקְּבוּרָה. לָשֵׂאת עַל הַכָּתֵף. וְלֵילֵךְ לְפָנָיו וְלִסְפֹּד וְלַחְפֹּר וְלִקְבֹּר. וְכֵן לְשַׂמֵּחַ הַכַּלָּה וְהֶחָתָן. וּלְסַעֲדָם בְּכָל צָרְכֵיהֶם. וְאֵלּוּ הֵן גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים שֶׁבְּגוּפוֹ שֶׁאֵין לָהֶם שִׁעוּר. אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁכָּל מִצְוֹת אֵלּוּ מִדִּבְרֵיהֶם הֲרֵי הֵן בִּכְלַל (ויקרא יט יח) "וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ". כָּל הַדְּבָרִים שֶׁאַתָּה רוֹצֶה שֶׁיַּעֲשׂוּ אוֹתָם לְךָ אֲחֵרִים. עֲשֵׂה אַתָּה אוֹתָן לְאָחִיךְ בְּתוֹרָה וּבְמִצְוֹת:
(1) It is a positive commandment of Rabbinic origin to visit the sick, comfort mourners, to prepare for a funeral, prepare a bride, accompany guests, attend to all the needs of a burial, carry a corpse on one's shoulders, walk before the bier, mourn, dig a grave, and bury the dead, and also to bring joy to a bride and groom and help them in all their needs. These are deeds of kindness that one carries out with his person that have no limit. Although all these mitzvot are of Rabbinic origin, they are included in the Scriptural commandment Lev. 19:18: "Love your neighbor as yourself." That charge implies that whatever you would like other people to do for you, you should do for your comrade in the Torah and mitzvot.
(ו) וַיִּקְבֹּ֨ר אֹת֤וֹ בַגַּי֙ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ מוֹאָ֔ב מ֖וּל בֵּ֣ית פְּע֑וֹר וְלֹא־יָדַ֥ע אִישׁ֙ אֶת־קְבֻ֣רָת֔וֹ עַ֖ד הַיּ֥וֹם הַזֶּֽה׃
(6) [God] buried him in the valley in the land of Moab, near Beth-peor; and no one knows his burial place to this day.
(א) ויקבר אתו. הַקָּבָּ"ה בִּכְבוֹדוֹ. רַבִּי יִשְׁמָעֵאל אוֹמֵר הוּא קָבַר אֶת עַצְמוֹ,
(1) ויקבר אותו AND HE BURIED HIM — i.e. The Holy One, blessed be He, in His glory, buried him (Sotah 14a). R. Ishmael, however, said, It means: “He buried himself."
1. According to Rambam, is seeing to the burial of the dead a rabbinic commandment or a Torah commandment? Maimonides seems to suggest both answers. Explain!
2. What is the connection between loving your neighbor and all of the commandments listed in this statement? How are they expressions of Leviticus 19:18?
I began searching our Jewish sources for these practices of the Hevra Kadisha? Two of the earliest sources I found were the Kol bo (about the 15th century) and Sefer Hasididim (the fourteenth century). Lets take a look at these two sources:
(לה) מצות עשה של דבריהם להתעסק בכל צרכי הקבורה ולהוציא המת ולשאת אותו על הכתף ולילך לפניו.
(לו) וזהו המנהג אשר נהגו בו ישראל במתים ובקבורה הוא שמאמצין עיניו של מת ואם נפתח פיו קושרי׳ לחייו ומדיחין אותו כדי להעביר זוהמתו שלא יקוצו העם בטלטולו וטחין את ראשו בביצים טרופין בקלפתם. וזה המנהג קדום לסימן לפי שהיו מוליכין אותו חוץ לעיר ליקבר וכדי שיכירו הקוברי׳ שהוא ישראל עשו בו סימן זה. וטעם הביצי׳ שגלגל הוא שחוזר בעולם ואח׳ ההדח׳ פוקקין את נקביו ומלבישין אותו תכריכין תפורין של פשתן לבנים ומכסין את פניו שלא לבייש את העניים שפניה׳ מושחרין ברעב.
35 - It is a positive commandment of rabbinic origin to take care of the needs of the dead, to bring the dead out and carry them on one's shoulder and to walk before him.
36 - These are the customs which are observed by Israel in preparing the dead for burial: closing the eyes of the dead, shutting their jaw if their mouths are open; cleansing them in order to remove any impurity so that the dead will not be abhorrent (to the living) when they are carried; his head was covered with beaten eggs with its shells. This is an ancient custom. It was a sign when they took them out to be buried. It was a sign to people that the dead was a Jew. The reason for the eggs was to show that life is a circle in the world...they would dress the dead in shrouds made of white linen. One also covers his face so that he should not be embarrassed like the needy whose faces grow dark with hunger.
(א) יש צדיקים כשמתבקשים למות נוטלים ידיהם ואומרים מזמור הבו ליי בני אלים. א"ר חייא בשעה שהצדיקים נפטרים שלש כתות מלאכים וכו' עד אמר רבי יהודה בר סימון בר' יאשיה הקב"ה כביכול הוא בעצמו אומר שלום שנאמר (תהלים קמט ה) יעלזו חסידים בכבוד ירננו על משכבותם ומקלסים להקב"ה שם. לכך רוחצים ידיהם כל עומת שבא כן ילך כשנולד רוחצים אותו וכשמת רוחצים אותו:
When the righteous are approaching death they wash their hands and recite Ps. 29, "Ascribe to Adonai, heavenly beings..." Rabbi Hiyyah said, "When the righteous are about to die, three groups of angels serve him; (One group says "Go in peace," one says, "Lie down in peace," and one walks before him and silences others). Rabbi Jesiah said, "It's as if the blessed Holy One Himself said, "Peace be unto you," as it says, (Ps. 149:5) "Let the faithful exult in glory; let them shout for joy upon their beds." The righteous praise the Holy One. Therefore they wash their hands; as they entered the world so they leave it. When they were born someone washed them and when they died someone washed them.
Commentary on the sources:
1. The Kol Bo takes a very pragmatic perspective on the work of a Hevra Kadisha - there is nothing symbolic about these practices - it was literally about cleaning the body and making it clear that when the person could not speak for themself the Hevra made it clear that the Meyt was a Jew. Why do you think it was necessary to do things to the deceased that would make it clear that they were Jews?
2. Sefer Hasidim, on the other hand, offers an explanation for these practices. Just as we clean and swaddle an infant as they enter the world, so we clear and swaddle the meyt. In what ways are a new born infant and a recently deceased person similar to one another?
When Rav Hamnuna came to a place called Darumata he heard the sound of a shofar announcing that a person had died in the town. When he saw people doing work he said to them: Let these people be excommunicated. Is there not a dead person in town? They said to him: There are separate groups in the town, each responsible for its own dead. He said to them: If so, it is permitted to you, and he revoked his excommunication.
Finally the Talmud does not offer much of an explanation for burial practices but it is interesting to note that it sees this as a communal obligation. As long as a person is not buried, all work in the community must stop. The only exception is a community that has people who are especially assigned to carry out these tasks. This, it seems to me is the basis of the Hevra Kadisha.
It is not easy being a member of a Hevra Kadisha - If you are squeamish you will probably find this work difficult. I happen to be the more squeamish type but I decided that the need to overcome my discomfort for the sake of performing a mitzvah was worth it. As you become acclimated to this practice - you begin to think about life and death differently - and you begin to see yourself differently as well.
My trip to Alaska was a whirlwind - but it was also a powerful spiritual experience - to devote one entire day to the performance of a single mitzvah. It is inspiring but it is also humbling - knowing that someday God willing someone will be there to take care of me when the time comes. Most of us are uneasy in the face of death -but we are reminded by Jewish burial rituals that death is a part of life. And it is an opportunity to sanctify life even when it has ended. I would encourage you all to consider joining the Hevra Kadisha in your community, or at least learning more about its important work. It is truly an act of Hesed shel Emet - of true loving kindness.