Reeding Torah: The Yoga of Forgiveness Lay-Leader Cohort Learning September 8, 2022 | Elul, 5782

ByDavid Ingber

Romemu Yeshiva

noun: resiliency

1.

the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

"the often remarkable resilience of so many British institutions"
2.

the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

"nylon is excellent in wearability and resilience"

Opening: What We Hold, Holds Us

יבמות קכ״א א:י״ח

תַּנְיָא, אָמַר רַבָּן גַּמְלִיאֵל: פַּעַם אַחַת הָיִיתִי מְהַלֵּךְ בִּסְפִינָה, וְרָאִיתִי סְפִינָה אַחַת שֶׁנִּשְׁבְּרָה. וְהָיִיתִי מִצְטַעֵר עַל תַּלְמִיד חָכָם שֶׁבָּהּ, וּמַנּוּ — רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא. וּכְשֶׁעָלִיתִי בַּיַּבָּשָׁה, בָּא וְיָשַׁב וְדָן לְפָנַי בַּהֲלָכָה. אָמַרְתִּי לוֹ: בְּנִי, מִי הֶעֶלְךָ? אָמַר לִי: דַּף שֶׁל סְפִינָה נִזְדַּמֵּן לִי, וְכׇל גַּל וְגַל שֶׁבָּא עָלַי — נִעְנַעְתִּי לוֹ רֹאשִׁי.

Yevamot 121a:18

§ It is taught in a baraita: Rabban Gamliel said: Once I was traveling on a boat, and from a distance I saw a boat that shattered and sank. And I was grieved over the apparent death of the Torah scholar who was on board. And who was it? Rabbi Akiva. But when I disembarked onto dry land, he came, and sat, and deliberated before me about halakha. I said to him: My son, who brought you up from the water? He said to me: A plank from the boat came to me, and I bent my head before each and every wave that came toward me. The waves did not wash me off of the board, and I reached the shore.

משלי ג׳:י״ח

עֵץ־חַיִּ֣ים הִ֭יא לַמַּחֲזִיקִ֣ים בָּ֑הּ וְֽתֹמְכֶ֥יהָ מְאֻשָּֽׁר׃ (פ)

Proverbs 3:18

She is a tree of life to those who grasp her,
And whoever holds on to her is happy.

משלי ד׳:ב׳

כִּ֤י לֶ֣קַח ט֭וֹב נָתַ֣תִּי לָכֶ֑ם תּֽ֝וֹרָתִ֗י אַֽל־תַּעֲזֹֽבוּ׃

Proverbs 4:2

For I give you good instruction;
Do not forsake my teaching.

Leon Wieseltier, 'Kaddish'

“Do not overthrow the customs that have made it all the way to you.”

Spirit Buddy Questions:

1. What do you hold on to?

2. Is something you randomly chose or did it choose you?

3. Why does Rabbi Akiva nod his head? What does that mean to you?

4. What is breaking in your (or has broken) that gave you strength to go on?

תענית כ׳ ב:א׳-ג׳

נִזְדַּמֵּן לוֹ אָדָם אֶחָד שֶׁהָיָה מְכוֹעָר בְּיוֹתֵר. אָמַר לוֹ: שָׁלוֹם עָלֶיךָ רַבִּי! וְלֹא הֶחְזִיר לוֹ. אָמַר לוֹ: רֵיקָה, כַּמָּה מְכוֹעָר אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ! שֶׁמָּא כׇּל בְּנֵי עִירֶךָ מְכוֹעָרִין כְּמוֹתְךָ? אָמַר לוֹ: אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ, אֶלָּא לֵךְ וֶאֱמוֹר לָאוּמָּן שֶׁעֲשָׂאַנִי: ״כַּמָּה מְכוֹעָר כְּלִי זֶה שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ״. כֵּיוָן שֶׁיָּדַע בְּעַצְמוֹ שֶׁחָטָא, יָרַד מִן הַחֲמוֹר וְנִשְׁתַּטַּח לְפָנָיו, וְאָמַר לוֹ: נַעֲנֵיתִי לְךָ, מְחוֹל לִי! אָמַר לוֹ: אֵינִי מוֹחֵל לְךָ עַד שֶׁתֵּלֵךְ לָאוּמָּן שֶׁעֲשָׂאַנִי וֶאֱמוֹר לוֹ: כַּמָּה מְכוֹעָר כְּלִי זֶה שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ. הָיָה מְטַיֵּיל אַחֲרָיו עַד שֶׁהִגִּיעַ לְעִירוֹ. יָצְאוּ בְּנֵי עִירוֹ לִקְרָאתוֹ, וְהָיוּ אוֹמְרִים לוֹ: שָׁלוֹם עָלֶיךָ רַבִּי רַבִּי, מוֹרִי מוֹרִי! אָמַר לָהֶם: לְמִי אַתֶּם קוֹרִין רַבִּי רַבִּי? אָמְרוּ לוֹ: לְזֶה שֶׁמְּטַיֵּיל אַחֲרֶיךָ. אָמַר לָהֶם: אִם זֶה רַבִּי — אַל יִרְבּוּ כְּמוֹתוֹ בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל. אָמְרוּ לוֹ: מִפְּנֵי מָה? אָמַר לָהֶם: כָּךְ וְכָךְ עָשָׂה לִי. אָמְרוּ לוֹ: אַף עַל פִּי כֵּן, מְחוֹל לוֹ, שֶׁאָדָם גָּדוֹל בְּתוֹרָה הוּא. אָמַר לָהֶם: בִּשְׁבִילְכֶם הֲרֵינִי מוֹחֵל לוֹ, וּבִלְבַד שֶׁלֹּא יְהֵא רָגִיל לַעֲשׂוֹת כֵּן. מִיָּד נִכְנַס רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן, וְדָרַשׁ: לְעוֹלָם יְהֵא אָדָם רַךְ כְּקָנֶה וְאַל יְהֵא קָשֶׁה כְּאֶרֶז. וּלְפִיכָךְ זָכָה קָנֶה לִיטּוֹל הֵימֶנּוּ קוּלְמוֹס לִכְתּוֹב בּוֹ סֵפֶר תּוֹרָה תְּפִילִּין וּמְזוּזוֹת.

Taanit 20b:1-3

He happened upon an exceedingly ugly person, who said to him: Greetings to you, my rabbi, but Rabbi Elazar did not return his greeting. Instead, Rabbi Elazar said to him: Worthless [reika] person, how ugly is that man. Are all the people of your city as ugly as you? The man said to him: I do not know, but you should go and say to the Craftsman Who made me: How ugly is the vessel you made. When Rabbi Elazar realized that he had sinned and insulted this man merely on account of his appearance, he descended from his donkey and prostrated himself before him, and he said to the man: I have sinned against you; forgive me. The man said to him: I will not forgive you go until you go to the Craftsman Who made me and say: How ugly is the vessel you made. He walked behind the man, trying to appease him, until they reached Rabbi Elazar’s city. The people of his city came out to greet him, saying to him: Greetings to you, my rabbi, my rabbi, my master, my master. The man said to them: Who are you calling my rabbi, my rabbi? They said to him: To this man, who is walking behind you. He said to them: If this man is a rabbi, may there not be many like him among the Jewish people. They asked him: For what reason do you say this? He said to them: He did such and such to me. They said to him: Even so, forgive him, as he is a great Torah scholar. He said to them: For your sakes I forgive him, provided that he accepts upon himself not to become accustomed to behave like this. Immediately, Rabbi Elazar, son of Rabbi Shimon, entered the study hall and taught: A person should always be soft like a reed and he should not be stiff like a cedar, as one who is proud like a cedar is likely to sin. And therefore, due to its gentle qualities, the reed merited that a quill is taken from it to write with it a Torah scroll, phylacteries, and mezuzot.

“One who has sinned against [another] must say to him [or her], ‘I’ve acted wrongly against you’.” (Talmud; Yoma 45c)

“Forgive an insult done to you. If you’ve done another a small wrong, let it be great in your eyes...If another has done you a great wrong, let it be small in your eyes.” (Avot Rabbi Nathan; ch. 41)

יומא כ״ג א:ד׳

אָמַר רָבָא: כׇּל הַמַּעֲבִיר עַל מִדּוֹתָיו — מַעֲבִירִין לוֹ עַל כׇּל פְּשָׁעָיו

Yoma 23a:4

Rava said: With regard to whoever forgoes his reckonings with others for injustices done to him, the heavenly court, in turn, forgoes punishment for all his sins.