(28) Consequently, these days are recalled and observed in every generation: by every family, every province, and every city. And these days of Purim shall never cease among the Jews, and the memory of them shall never perish among their descendants.
The Source of Vashti's Power
(י) בַּיּוֹם֙ הַשְּׁבִיעִ֔י כְּט֥וֹב לֵב־הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ בַּיָּ֑יִן אָמַ֡ר לִ֠מְהוּמָן בִּזְּתָ֨א חַרְבוֹנָ֜א בִּגְתָ֤א וַאֲבַגְתָא֙ זֵתַ֣ר וְכַרְכַּ֔ס שִׁבְעַת֙ הַסָּ֣רִיסִ֔ים הַמְשָׁ֣רְתִ֔ים אֶת־פְּנֵ֖י הַמֶּ֥לֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵרֽוֹשׁ׃ (יא) לְ֠הָבִיא אֶת־וַשְׁתִּ֧י הַמַּלְכָּ֛ה לִפְנֵ֥י הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ בְּכֶ֣תֶר מַלְכ֑וּת לְהַרְא֨וֹת הָֽעַמִּ֤ים וְהַשָּׂרִים֙ אֶת־יָפְיָ֔הּ כִּֽי־טוֹבַ֥ת מַרְאֶ֖ה הִֽיא׃
(10) On the seventh day, when the king was merry with wine, he ordered Mehuman, Bizzetha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven eunuchs in attendance on King Ahasuerus, (11) to bring Queen Vashti before the king wearing a royal diadem, to display her beauty to the peoples and the officials; for she was a beautiful woman.
(יג) לְהָבִיא אֶת וַשְׁתִּי הַמַּלְכָּה לִפְנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ בְּכֶתֶר מַלְכוּת (אסתר א, יא), אָמַר רַבִּי אַיְּבוּ כַּפָּרָתָן שֶׁל יִשְׂרָאֵל, כְּשֶׁיִּשְׂרָאֵל אוֹכְלִין וְשׁוֹתִין וּשְׂמֵחִין, הֵן מְבָרְכִין וּמְשַׁבְּחִין וּמְקַלְּסִין לְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וּכְשֶׁאֻמּוֹת הָעוֹלָם אוֹכְלִין וְשׁוֹתִין, מִתְעַסְּקִין הֵן בְּדִבְרֵי תִּפְלוּת, זֶה אוֹמֵר מָדִיּוֹת נָאוֹת, וְזֶה אוֹמֵר פַּרְסִיּוֹת נָאוֹת. אָמַר לָהֶם אוֹתוֹ טִפֵּשׁ, כְּלִי שֶׁאוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ מִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בּוֹ אֵינוֹ לֹא מָדִית וְלֹא פַּרְסִית אֶלָּא כַּשְׂדִּית, מְבַקְּשִׁים אַתֶּם לִרְאוֹתוֹ, אָמְרוּ לוֹ הֵן וּבִלְבָד שֶׁתְּהֵא עֲרֻמָּה, אָמַר לְהוֹן הֵן וַעֲרֻמָּה. רַבִּי פִּנְחָס וְרַבִּי חָמָא בַּר גּוּרְיָא בְּשֵׁם רַב אָמַר בִּקְּשָׁה לִכָּנֵס אֲפִלּוּ בְּצִלְצוּל כְּזוֹנָה וְלֹא הִנִּיחוּ אוֹתָהּ, אֲמַר לוֹן וַעֲרֻמָּה, אָמְרָה אֶכָּנֵס בְּלֹא כֶתֶר הֵן אוֹמְרִים שִׁפְחָה הִיא זוֹ, תִּלְבַּשׁ בִּגְדֵי מַלְכוּת וְתִכָּנֵס, אָמַר רַב הוּנָא אֵין הֶדְיוֹט מִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בְּבִגְדֵי מַלְכוּת.
(13) "To bring Queen Vashti before the king wearing a royal diadem (Esther 1:11)": Rabbi Ayvo said: "Atonement of Israel! When Israel eats and drinks and celebrates, they bless and praise and glorify the Holy Bountiful One. But when the nations of the world eat and drink, they occupy themselves with tasteless words. This one says: "Median women are fair!", and this one says: "Persian women are fair!". The fool said to them: "The vessel that this man uses is neither Median nor Persian, rather Chaldean. Do you all desire to see her?" They said to him: "Yes, but only if she is naked". He said to them: "Yes, and naked"".
Rabbi Pinchas and Rabbi Hama bar Guria said in the name of Rav: "She requested to enter even wearing bells like a prostitute, but they did not allow her. He said to them: "and naked". She said: "I will enter without my crown." They [will] say she is a maidservant. Put on royal garments and enter! [=Even in royal garments, they will say that a maidservant can masquerade as a queen.]" Rav Huna said: "A commoner does not make use of royal garments."
How does the perceived dialogue with Vashti change our undemanding of the story or the request made of her?
(יב) וַתְּמָאֵ֞ן הַמַּלְכָּ֣ה וַשְׁתִּ֗י לָבוֹא֙ בִּדְבַ֣ר הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ אֲשֶׁ֖ר בְּיַ֣ד הַסָּרִיסִ֑ים וַיִּקְצֹ֤ף הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ מְאֹ֔ד וַחֲמָת֖וֹ בָּעֲרָ֥ה בֽוֹ׃
(12) But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command conveyed by the eunuchs. The king was greatly incensed, and his fury burned within him.
Why does Vashti Refuse?
(1) Queen Vashti refused. Our Rabbis said because tzara'at broke out on her. [Ed. Vashti did not refuse out of modesty. She was as lewd as her husband and would have attended had she not broken out with leprosy. Another opinion is that the angel Gavriel caused her to grow a tail.] so that she should refuse and be executed. Because she would force Jewish girls to disrobe and make them do work on Shabbat, it was decreed upon her to be stripped naked on Shabbat. [This punishment was in the form of "measure for measure / middah k'neged middah," just as she had done, so it was decreed upon her. (BT Megillah 12b) (2) Angered. Because she sent him words of insult. And that is why the king was extremely angered. (BT Megillah 11b)
Vashti's Negotiation
(יד) וַתְּמָאֵן הַמַּלְכָּה וַשְׁתִּי (אסתר א, יב), שָׁלְחָה וְאָמְרָה לוֹ דְּבָרִים שֶׁהֵן נוֹגְעִין בְּלִבּוֹ, אָמְרָה לוֹ אִם רוֹאִין אוֹתִי נָאָה, הֵן נוֹתְנִין עֵינֵיהֶם לְהִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בִּי וְהוֹרְגִים אוֹתְךָ, וְאִם רוֹאִין אוֹתִי כְּעוּרָה, אַתְּ מִתְגַּנֶּה בִּי. רְמָזַתּוּ וְלֹא נִרְמָז עֲקָצַתּוּ וְלֹא נֶעֱקָץ, שָׁלְחָה וְאָמְרָה לוֹ קוֹמִיס אִיסְטַבְּלָאטִי שֶׁל בֵּית אַבָּא הָיִיתָ וְהָיִיתָ לָמוּד לִהְיוֹת מַכְנִיס לְפָנֶיךָ נָשִׁים זוֹנוֹת עֲרֻמּוֹת, וְעַכְשָׁיו שֶׁנִּכְנַסְתָּ לַמַּלְכוּת לֹא חָזַרְתָּ מִקִּלְקוּלְךָ, רְמָזַתּוּ וְלֹא נִרְמָז עֲקָצַתּוּ וְלֹא נֶעֱקָץ, שָׁלְחָה וְאָמְרָה, אֲפִלּוּ אַנְדִּתִיקוּס שֶׁל בֵּית אַבָּא לֹא נִדּוֹנוּ עֲרֻמִּים, הֲדָא הוּא דִכְתִיב (דניאל ג, כא): בֵּאדַיִן גֻּבְרַיָא אִלֵּךְ כְּפִתוּ בְּסַרְבָּלֵיהוֹן פַּטְּשֵׁיהוֹן.
(14) "But Queen Vashti refused (Esther 1:12)": She sent and said to him words that touched his heart. She said to him: If they see that I am fair, they will try to make use of me and kill you. But if they see that I am ugly, you will be denigrated through me". She was speaking subtly to him but he did not understand her subtlety; she was pricking him but he was not pricked. She sent and said to him: "You were the comes estabularius, the stable master of my father's house and you were experienced in leading before yourself prostitutes naked and now that you have come into kingship you have not changed from your debauchery". She was speaking subtly to him but he did not understand her subtlety; she was pricking him but he was not pricked. She sent and said to him: "The ekdikus, one found guilty in court, of my father's house were not judged naked. See! It is written: "So these men, in their shirts, trousers, hats, and other garments (Daniel 3:21)"".
The midrash conveys that Vashti was the orphaned daughter of Belshazzar; God was her help and kept her alive and she was wed to the emperor of Persia and Media, even though she was a Chaldean ( = Babylonian) (Esth. Rabbah 3:5).
Jewish Women's Archive on Megillat Esther
Vashti in this midrash is blessed with wisdom. She cleverly seeks different ways by which to persuade Ahasuerus to withdraw his request. First she appeals to logic by setting forth all the possible scenarios that might result from his demand, all of which are to his disadvantage. Then she addresses his sense of honor and self-respect, demanding that he act as is fitting for a king. Finally, she appeals to his compassion, and asks that he not insist upon her appearing naked before all his guests. By means of her messengers, Vashti hints to her husband that he does not consider the consequences of his actions and that he wields the scepter only because of his marriage to her; accordingly, it is not appropriate that he order her to do something against her will.
The reader sees Ahasuerus, in contrast with Vashti, as a ruler who acts rashly and does not think even one single step ahead. The hints that his wife sends Ahasuerus merely bounce off the thick-skinned king. Even in his palace his behavior is inappropriate and he continues to act in a disgraceful manner, like a steward.
Vashti's End: Enter the Royal Eunichs! Memuchan's Motivations
What were these guys so afraid of??
(13) Then the king consulted the sages learned in procedure. (For it was the royal practice [to turn] to all who were versed in law and precedent. (14) His closest advisers were Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven ministers of Persia and Media who had access to the royal presence and occupied the first place in the kingdom.) (15) “What,” [he asked,] “shall be done, according to law, to Queen Vashti for failing to obey the command of King Ahasuerus conveyed by the eunuchs?” (16) Thereupon Memucan declared in the presence of the king and the ministers: “Queen Vashti has committed an offense not only against Your Majesty but also against all the officials and against all the peoples in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus. (17) For the queen’s behavior will make all wives despise their husbands, as they reflect that King Ahasuerus himself ordered Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come. (18) This very day the ladies of Persia and Media, who have heard of the queen’s behavior, will cite it to all Your Majesty’s officials, and there will be no end of scorn and provocation! (19) “If it please Your Majesty, let a royal edict be issued by you, and let it be written into the laws of Persia and Media, so that it cannot be abrogated, that Vashti shall never enter the presence of King Ahasuerus. And let Your Majesty bestow her royal state upon another who is more worthy than she. (20) Then will the judgment executed by Your Majesty resound throughout your realm, vast though it is; and all wives will treat their husbands with respect, high and low alike.”
Bazeh - Dishonor/Honor is a recurring theme in the Book of Esther.
The danger that Memucan sees in Vashti's refusal is preposterous. How will it provoke a rebellion by all the wives in the empire against their husbands? The burlesque of the great Persian Empire drowning in luxury, wine, courtiers, and incompetent management, reaches one of its high points here, with a touch of male sexual anxiety added for good measure. As explained above, they fear that all wives will act like Vashti when their husbands act like Ahashverosh.
- JPS Bible Commentary Esther v. 17
What is Memuchan's Problem?
(ו) וַיֹּאמֶר מְמוּכָן לִפְנֵי הַמֶּלֶךְ וְהַשָֹּׂרִים (אסתר א, טז), מָה רָאָה מְמוּכָן לִקְפֹּץ בְּעֵצָה תְּחִלָּה, מִכָּאן שֶׁהֶדְיוֹט קוֹפֵץ בָּרֹאשׁ. ...נִרְאִין דִּבְרֵי רַבִּי יְהוּדָה נִרְאִין דִּבְרֵי מְמוּכָן. רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אָמַר תְּלָתָא אָמוֹרָאִין, חַד אָמַר עַל יְדֵי שֶׁהָיְתָה מְסַטַּרְתּוֹ בַּקּוּרְדָּקִין שֶׁלָּהּ עַל פָּנָיו לְכָאן וּלְכָאן. וָחֳרִינָא אָמַר עַל יְדֵי שֶׁלֹא הִזְמִינָה אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ לִסְעוּדַת נָשִׁים. וָחֳרִינָא אָמַר עַל יְדֵי שֶׁהָיְתָה לוֹ בַּת, וְהָיָה מְבַקֵּשׁ לְהַשִֹּׂיאָהּ לַמַּלְכוּת. מַאן דְּאָמַר עַל יְדֵי שֶׁהָיְתָה מְסַטַּרְתּוֹ בַּקּוּרְדָּקִין שֶׁלָּהּ עַל פָּנָיו לְכָאן וּלְכָאן, שֶׁאָמַר, לֹא עַל הַמֶּלֶךְ לְבַדּוֹ עָוְתָה וַשְׁתִּי הַמַּלְכָּה. וּמַאן דְּאָמַר עַל יְדֵי שֶׁלֹא הִזְמִינָה אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ לַסְּעוּדַת נָשִׁים, שֶׁאָמַר כִּי יֵצֵא דְּבַר הַמַּלְכָּה עַל כָּל הַנָּשִׁים לְהַבְזוֹת בַּעְלֵיהֶן בְּעֵינֵיהֶן, הָדָא הִיא דְּלָא הֲוַת תַּמָּן. מַאן דְּאָמַר עַל יְדֵי שֶׁהָיְתָה לוֹ בַּת וְהָיָה מְבַקֵּשׁ לְהַשִֹּׂיאָהּ לַמַּלְכוּת, שֶׁאָמַר וּמַלְכוּתָהּ יִתֵּן הַמֶּלֶךְ לִרְעוּתָהּ הַטּוֹבָה מִמֶּנָּה.
(6) "Thereupon Memucan declared in the presence of the king and the ministers (Esther 1:16)": why did Memucan choose to jump in first? From here we learn that an idiot jumps in first.... How does one account for "Thereupon Memucan declared"? Acceptable are the words of Rabbi Yehudah; acceptable are the words of Memucan". Rabbi Yochanan said: "The Amoraim have three explanations: One said: "Because she struck him sideways with her shoe on his face on both this way and that." Another said: "Because [Vashti] did not notify his wife of the banquet for women." And another said: "Because he had a daughter and he was seeking to marry into the kingdom." On what basis did he say: "Because she struck him sideways with her shoe on his face on both this way and that"? He said: "Queen Vashti has committed an offense not only against Your Majesty". On what basis did another say: "Because she did not notify his wife of the banquet for women"? He said: "For the queen’s behavior will make all wives despise their husbands (Esther 1:17)". On what basis did another say: "Because she was his daughter and he was seeking to marry into the kingdom"? He said: "Bestow her royal state upon another who is more worthy than she (Esther 1:19)."
Esther's Enterance: "Taken", but Taking Nothing
(7) He was foster father to Hadassah—that is, Esther—his uncle’s daughter, for she had neither father nor mother. The maiden was shapely and beautiful; and when her father and mother died, Mordecai adopted her as his own daughter. (8) When the king’s order and edict was proclaimed, and when many girls were assembled in the fortress Shushan under the supervision of Hegai, Esther too was taken into the king’s palace under the supervision of Hegai, guardian of the women. (9) The girl pleased him and won his favor, and he hastened to furnish her with her cosmetics and her rations, as well as with the seven maids who were her due from the king’s palace; and he treated her and her maids with special kindness in the harem.
(טו) וּבְהַגִּ֣יעַ תֹּר־אֶסְתֵּ֣ר בַּת־אֲבִיחַ֣יִל דֹּ֣ד מָרְדֳּכַ֡י אֲשֶׁר֩ לָקַֽח־ל֨וֹ לְבַ֜ת לָב֣וֹא אֶל־הַמֶּ֗לֶךְ לֹ֤א בִקְשָׁה֙ דָּבָ֔ר כִּ֠י אִ֣ם אֶת־אֲשֶׁ֥ר יֹאמַ֛ר הֵגַ֥י סְרִיס־הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ שֹׁמֵ֣ר הַנָּשִׁ֑ים וַתְּהִ֤י אֶסְתֵּר֙ נֹשֵׂ֣את חֵ֔ן בְּעֵינֵ֖י כָּל־רֹאֶֽיהָ׃
(15) When the turn came for Esther daughter of Abihail—the uncle of Mordecai, who had adopted (lit. taken) her as his own daughter—to go to the king, she did not ask for anything but what Hegai, the king’s eunuch, guardian of the women, advised. Yet Esther won the admiration of all who saw her.
(טז) וַתִּלָּקַ֨ח אֶסְתֵּ֜ר אֶל־הַמֶּ֤לֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵרוֹשׁ֙ אֶל־בֵּ֣ית מַלְכוּת֔וֹ בַּחֹ֥דֶשׁ הָעֲשִׂירִ֖י הוּא־חֹ֣דֶשׁ טֵבֵ֑ת בִּשְׁנַת־שֶׁ֖בַע לְמַלְכוּתֽוֹ׃
(16) Esther was taken to King Ahasuerus, in his royal palace, in the tenth month, which is the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign.
(יז) וַיֶּאֱהַ֨ב הַמֶּ֤לֶךְ אֶת־אֶסְתֵּר֙ מִכָּל־הַנָּשִׁ֔ים וַתִּשָּׂא־חֵ֥ן וָחֶ֛סֶד לְפָנָ֖יו מִכָּל־הַבְּתוּלֹ֑ת וַיָּ֤שֶׂם כֶּֽתֶר־מַלְכוּת֙ בְּרֹאשָׁ֔הּ וַיַּמְלִיכֶ֖הָ תַּ֥חַת וַשְׁתִּֽי׃
(17) The king loved Esther more than all the other women, and she won his grace and loyalty more than all the virgins. So he set a royal diadem on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti.
(20) But Esther still did not reveal her kindred or her people, as Mordecai had instructed her; for Esther obeyed Mordecai’s bidding, as she had done when she was under his tutelage.
Esther's Agitation: Her First sign of transformation
(ד) וַ֠תָּבוֹאינָה נַעֲר֨וֹת אֶסְתֵּ֤ר וְסָרִיסֶ֙יהָ֙ וַיַּגִּ֣ידוּ לָ֔הּ וַתִּתְחַלְחַ֥ל הַמַּלְכָּ֖ה מְאֹ֑ד וַתִּשְׁלַ֨ח בְּגָדִ֜ים לְהַלְבִּ֣ישׁ אֶֽת־מָרְדֳּכַ֗י וּלְהָסִ֥יר שַׂקּ֛וֹ מֵעָלָ֖יו וְלֹ֥א קִבֵּֽל׃
(4) When Esther’s maidens and eunuchs came and informed her, the queen was greatly agitated. She sent clothing for Mordecai to wear, so that he might take off his sackcloth; but he refused.
חוּל (v) heb
- to twist, whirl, dance, writhe, fear, tremble, travail, be in anguish, be pained
- (Hithpalpel) to be distressed
What are Esther's first actions? How do these signs point to her transformation from passive to active hero?
(יא) כָּל־עַבְדֵ֣י הַמֶּ֡לֶךְ וְעַם־מְדִינ֨וֹת הַמֶּ֜לֶךְ יֽוֹדְעִ֗ים אֲשֶׁ֣ר כָּל־אִ֣ישׁ וְאִשָּׁ֡ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר יָבֽוֹא־אֶל־הַמֶּלֶךְ֩ אֶל־הֶחָצֵ֨ר הַפְּנִימִ֜ית אֲשֶׁ֣ר לֹֽא־יִקָּרֵ֗א אַחַ֤ת דָּתוֹ֙ לְהָמִ֔ית לְ֠בַד מֵאֲשֶׁ֨ר יֽוֹשִׁיט־ל֥וֹ הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ אֶת־שַׁרְבִ֥יט הַזָּהָ֖ב וְחָיָ֑ה וַאֲנִ֗י לֹ֤א נִקְרֵ֙אתי֙ לָב֣וֹא אֶל־הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ זֶ֖ה שְׁלוֹשִׁ֥ים יֽוֹם׃
Is Esther scolding or criticizing Mordechai... or refusing to do his bidding? I think not, for I see in their conversation a more subtle series of moves. Esther is introducing a new piece of information. She is hinting at the strategy she will use to carry out Mordechai's instructions and at the same time indicating the risk it entails. -JPS commentary 4:11
Esther is now giving the orders
(טו) וַתֹּ֥אמֶר אֶסְתֵּ֖ר לְהָשִׁ֥יב אֶֽל־מָרְדֳּכָֽי׃ (טז) לֵךְ֩ כְּנ֨וֹס אֶת־כָּל־הַיְּהוּדִ֜ים הַֽנִּמְצְאִ֣ים בְּשׁוּשָׁ֗ן וְצ֣וּמוּ עָ֠לַי וְאַל־תֹּאכְל֨וּ וְאַל־תִּשְׁתּ֜וּ שְׁלֹ֤שֶׁת יָמִים֙ לַ֣יְלָה וָי֔וֹם גַּם־אֲנִ֥י וְנַעֲרֹתַ֖י אָצ֣וּם כֵּ֑ן וּבְכֵ֞ן אָב֤וֹא אֶל־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר לֹֽא־כַדָּ֔ת וְכַאֲשֶׁ֥ר אָבַ֖דְתִּי אָבָֽדְתִּי׃
(15) Then Esther sent back this answer to Mordecai: (16) “Go, assemble all the Jews who live in Shushan, and fast in my behalf; do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maidens will observe the same fast. Then I shall go to the king, though it is contrary to the law; and if I am to perish, I shall perish!”
Why did Esther invite Haman to the Feast? Let's Ask Elijah!
רַבָּה אָמַר לִפְנֵי "שֶׁבֶר גָּאוֹן..." אַבָּיֵי וְרָבָא דְּאָמְרִי תַּרְוַיְיהוּ "בְּחוּמָּם אָשִׁית אֶת מִשְׁתֵּיהֶם וְגוֹ׳..."
אַשְׁכְּחֵיהּ רַבָּה בַּר אֲבוּהּ לְאֵלִיָּהוּ. אֲמַר לֵיהּ כְּמַאן חַזְיָא אֶסְתֵּר וַעֲבַדָא הָכִי אֲמַר לֵיהּ כְּכוּלְּהוּ תַּנָּאֵי וּכְכוּלְּהוּ אָמוֹרָאֵי.
BT Megillah 13b
[Many interpretations are given - including to keep Haman close to her so he doesn't find out she is Jewish, to over-expose him to the king, to retain control over her own message, to make sure Haman doesn't foil her plan in anyway without her knowledge.]....
Rabba says: Esther invited Haman to her banquet in order to fulfill that which is stated: “Pride goes before destruction” (Proverbs 16:18), which indicates that in order to destroy the wicked, one must first bring them to pride. It can be understood according to Abaye and Rava, who both say that she invited Haman in order to fulfill the verse: “When they are heated, I will make feasts for them, and I will make them drunk, that they may rejoice, and sleep a perpetual sleep” (Jeremiah 51:39).
The Gemara relates that Rabba bar Avuh once happened upon Elijah the Prophet and said to him: In accordance with whose understanding did Esther see fit to act in this manner? What was the true reason behind her invitation to Haman? [Elijah] said to him: Esther was motivated by all the reasons previously mentioned and did so for all the reasons previously stated by the tanna’im and all the reasons stated by the amora’im.
Ultimately, as you know, Esther reveals to the King that she is Jewish and turns Haman's evil plot on it's head. - effectively saving the Jewish people from destruction!
... instead of comparing the wickedness of Vashti to the goodness of Esther, let us amplify each of their voices as unique and independent responses to their challenging circumstances. Vashti, faced with the prospect of a humiliating moment of exposure, used her voice to say no. Affirming her own dignity, she sacrificed her position, her privilege, and her power. Esther, who sensed at the beginning of her reign how fragile her hold on power really was, wrestled at first with the choice to lift up her voice. Ultimately, she chose to use it, in her own way.
Each of us will face times in our lives when we must decide how to use our voice in our relationships. Do we assert ourselves? Do we accommodate the other? Do we attempt to strike a balance between bold assertiveness and careful diplomacy? Each way is an authentic expression of who we are in that moment. As free agents, we must choose the voice that has the most integrity for us at that time. We need not use each other’s decisions as foils for our own decisions. We can lift each other up by respecting the individual ways we each use our own voice.
- Rabbi Ben Greenberg, From JWI Rethinking Purim: Women, Relationships and Jewish Texts