- Gandalf, The Fellowship of the Ring
שבעה דברים נבראו קודם שנברא העולם ואלו הן תורה ותשובה וגן עדן וגיהנם וכסא הכבוד ובית המקדש ושמו של משיח
Wasn’t it taught in a baraita: Seven phenomena were created before the world was created, and they are: Torah, and repentance, and the Garden of Eden, and Gehenna, and the Throne of Glory, and the Temple, and the name of Messiah.
- What does this text reveal about the meaning of Teshuvah?
- What are the implications of saying that Teshuvah was created pior to the world's creation?
(ג) בַּזְּמַן הַזֶּה שֶׁאֵין בֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ קַיָּם וְאֵין לָנוּ מִזְבַּח כַּפָּרָה אֵין שָׁם אֶלָּא תְּשׁוּבָה.
At present, when the Temple does not exist and there is no altar of atonement, there remains nothing else aside from Teshuvah.
What is Teshuvah?
To do Teshuvah, etymologically, should simply be to “return”, in other words, to “go home”, to walk all the way back to the place whence we came. Yet as a baalat Teshuvah, it seems to me that “returning” paradoxically leads us to tread untrodden, sometimes risky tracks. In other words, this process and life-changing experience does not escort us back to where (and who) we used to be, which is precisely what we are trying to avoid. We are trying to avoid repeating our past deeds, which we can look back on with intense repulsion. Indeed, were we to repeat, or return to, our former ways, we would miss the whole point of Teshuvah altogether.
(א) אֵי זוֹ הִיא תְּשׁוּבָה גְּמוּרָה. זֶה שֶׁבָּא לְיָדוֹ דָּבָר שֶׁעָבַר בּוֹ וְאֶפְשָׁר בְּיָדוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹתוֹ וּפֵרַשׁ וְלֹא עָשָׂה מִפְּנֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה.
What constitutes complete Teshuvah? A person who confronts the same situation in which he or she sinned when he or she has the potential to do it again, and yet abstains and does not commit it because of Teshuvah.
Teshuvah is Not Easy
It ensues that Teshuvah, even though it may, in time, result in a feeling of inner peace and realization, is no bed of roses. It is not half as safe as its name would seem to suggest - quite the opposite. Indeed, it can go hand in hand with an uncomfortable sense of clash between past and present, a jarring representation of one’s self as irretrievably flawed, a nagging feeling of remorse and shame at remembering our past mistakes and shortcomings. All of these may in fact be signs that the process of Teshuvah is, as it were, working. They all seem to confirm that Teshuvah has nothing to do with going back or retracing one’s steps, and, that, despite the fact that it can be translated as “an answer, a reply”, it seems to raise more questions than it provides answers.
The following is a portion of a famous teaching by Rebbe Nachman called "Azamerah" (I will sing). He begins by explaining that even in the extreme case of a person who is seemingly completely evil -- utterly without good deeds or qualities -- one must search out some good point (nequdah tovah), amplify it, and then search out another. Similarly with oneself if one feels utterly worthless...
(Liqutei Moharan is the largest compendium of teachings by Rebbe Nachman.)
What kind of situations or states would someone find themself in that would necessitate them doing this process?
- What am I holding onto that I want to let go of in the new year?
- What do I need to forgive myself for before the new year?
-Origin unknown
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
-Suttas (Buddhist scriptures)
“To be able to overcome your own ego and step aside, that’s huge,” says Alex Bowen, a member of Team USA’s men’s water polo team, of Biles’ decision. “That’s a mental marvel. It’s something we all try hopefully to do all the time, but I don’t think many people can do that.”
"put mental health first"
“Hopefully this reframes how people look at athletes,” says Bowen. “We aren’t born great. But what we do to be great is relentlessly pursue greatness. It’s not all about what you are, but what you are trying to be. We are all human; the Olympics are about trying to become your best self. And it’s O.K. to get help to become your best self.”
Statement from USA Gymnastics
We wholeheartedly support Simone's decision and applaud her bravery in prioritizing her well-being. Her courage shows, yet again, why she is a role model for so many."
Questions to Ponder
When have you prioritized your mental health?
What sacrifices have you made to the detriment of your mental health?
(יד) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֱלֹהִים֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶֽהְיֶ֑ה וַיֹּ֗אמֶר כֹּ֤ה תֹאמַר֙ לִבְנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה שְׁלָחַ֥נִי אֲלֵיכֶֽם׃
(14) And God said unto Moses: "Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh" (I AM THAT I AM); and God said: ‘Thus shall you say unto the children of Israel: I AM (Ehyeh) hath sent me unto you.’
- What does this name of God evoke for you?
- Why do you think God chose to reveal God's self to Moses for the first time with this name?
אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים מָקוֹם שֶׁבַּעֲלֵי תְּשׁוּבָה עוֹמְדִין אֵין צַדִּיקִים גְּמוּרִין יְכוֹלִין לַעֲמֹד בּוֹ. כְּלוֹמַר מַעֲלָתָן גְּדוֹלָה מִמַּעֲלַת אֵלּוּ שֶׁלֹּא חָטְאוּ מֵעוֹלָם מִפְּנֵי שֶׁהֵן כּוֹבְשִׁים יִצְרָם יוֹתֵר מֵהֶם:
Our sages say that someone who has done teshuvah is ultimately more righteous, and closer to God, than someone who is righteous without having done teshuvah.
Discussion Questions:
What is it about teshuvah that makes a person closer to God/Holiness?
Revisit the question: Why was teshuvah created before the world was created?
― Alan A. Lew, This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation
― Alan A. Lew, This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation
‘When we forget the essence of our own soul… everything becomes confused and in doubt. The primary teshuva, that which immediately lights the darkness, is when a person returns to himself, to the root of his soul – then he will immediately return to God, to the soul of all souls’.
- How does one forget the essence of their own soul? What does that look like?
- What do you think the text means by "primary teshuvah"?
"If they ask me in Heaven why I wasn't Elimelech, I will know how to answer. But if they ask me why I wasn't Zusha – I will have no words".
This is the essence of Teshuva – to be like Zusha again, the call from ourselves to be us and to fulfill our mission in the world, and not to try and be like anyone else.
- The true work of Elul and the High Holy Days is to figure out how you will answer the question "Eicha" Where are you?
- What are the other questions you use to help you figure out where you are?