Why do we do THAT? Exploration of minhagim (customs) related to synagogue and prayer

Why do we wear Kippot?

The uniqueness of a Jewish head covering is hinted at in the blessing we say every morning, thanking God for "crowning Israel with splendor" (Talmud - Brachot 60b)
The kippah is a means to draw out one's inner sense of respect for God.
כִּי שָׁמַע קוֹל תַּרְנְגוֹלָא, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … אֲשֶׁר נָתַן לַשֶּׂכְוִי בִּינָה לְהַבְחִין בֵּין יוֹם וּבֵין לָיְלָה״. כִּי פָּתַח עֵינֵיהּ, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … פּוֹקֵחַ עִוְּרִים״. כִּי תָּרֵיץ וְיָתֵיב, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … מַתִּיר אֲסוּרִים״. כִּי לָבֵישׁ, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … מַלְבִּישׁ עֲרוּמִּים״. כִּי זָקֵיף, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … זוֹקֵף כְּפוּפִים״. כִּי נָחֵית לְאַרְעָא, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … רוֹקַע הָאָרֶץ עַל הַמָּיִם״. כִּי מְסַגֵּי, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … הַמֵּכִין מִצְעֲדֵי גָבֶר״. כִּי סַיֵּים מְסָאנֵיהּ, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … שֶׁעָשָׂה לִי כׇּל צׇרְכִּי״. כִּי אָסַר הֶמְיָינֵיהּ, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … אוֹזֵר יִשְׂרָאֵל בִּגְבוּרָה״. כִּי פָּרֵיס סוּדָרָא עַל רֵישֵׁיהּ, לֵימָא: ״בָּרוּךְ … עוֹטֵר יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּתִפְאָרָה״.

Upon hearing the sound of the rooster, one should recite: Blessed…Who gave the heart [sekhvi] understanding to distinguish between day and night...
Upon spreading a shawl upon his head, one should recite: Blessed…Who crowns Israel with glory.

The Talmud says that the purpose of wearing a kippah is to remind us of God, who is the Higher Authority "above us" (Kiddushin 31a). External actions create internal awareness; wearing a symbolic, tangible "something above us" reinforces that idea that God is always watching. The kippah is a means to draw out one's inner sense of respect for God.
אמר רבי יהושע בן לוי אסור לאדם שיהלך ארבע אמות בקומה זקופה שנא' (ישעיהו ו, ג) מלא כל הארץ כבודו רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע לא מסגי ארבע אמות בגילוי הראש אמר שכינה למעלה מראשי
With regard to the same issue, Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi says: It is prohibited for a person to walk even four cubits with an upright posture, which is considered an arrogant manner, as it is stated: “The entire world is full of His glory” (Isaiah 6:3). One who walks in an arrogant manner indicates a lack of regard for the glory and honor of God that is surrounding him, and thereby chases God from that place, as it were. The Gemara relates: Rav Huna, son of Rav Yehoshua, would not walk four cubits with an uncovered head. He said: The Divine Presence is above my head, and I must act respectfully.
Biblical and Talmudic law does not require covering the head, through there are hints there that doing so is to be regarded as a sign of reverence. But the practice became more and more widespread, until by the Middle Ages Jewish legal authorities everywhere were unanimous that sacred words (prayers, words of Torah ) could not be spoken, nor sacred precincts (synagogues, houses of study, even cemeteries) entered bareheaded. Today, too, there is complete halachic [Jewish legal] agreement on this question.

What is the origin of married women covering their heads?

The origin of the tradition lies in the Sotah ritual, a ceremony described in the Bible that tests the fidelity of a woman accused of adultery. According to the Torah, the priest uncovers or unbraids the accused woman’s hair as part of the humiliation that precedes the ceremony (Numbers 5:18). From this, the Talmud (Ketuboth 72) concludes that under normal circumstances hair covering is a biblical requirement for women.

Shabbat Rituals

How Many Candles Should We Light on Shabbat?
  • you can fulfill the mitzvah of Shabbat candle-lighting with even one candle.
Why do we usually light two candles?
The basic reason why we light two candles for Shabbat is that they correspond to the two forms of the mitzvah of Shabbat.
In Exodus we are told, “Remember (zachor) the day of Shabbat and make it holy.”
In Deuteronomy we are instructed, “Keep (shamor) the day of Shabbat and make it holy.”
Two Souls
Some explain that the reason for lighting at least two candles is based on the Talmudic teaching that on Shabbat we receive an additional soul, which imbues us with an extra sense of holiness and spirituality throughout the day. The additional candle corresponds to the second soul.
Based on this soul-candle comparison, the most common custom is that in addition to the two basic candles, an additional candle is lit for every child that is born (e.g., if there are three children, five candles are lit).
Why Do We Cover the Challah on our Shabbat Table?
1. When our ancestors traveled in the desert for forty years, they subsisted on the manna that miraculously fell from heaven every day. The challah we eat on Shabbat is actually in place of that manna. Since the manna was encased between layers of dew that preserved its freshness, we envelop the challahs between the tablecloth (or cutting board) and the challah cover, reliving the manna miracle at our Shabbat meal.
2. In Talmudic times, before tables and chairs, banquet participants were served their meal on three-legged trays, which were brought to them by the waiters. On Shabbat, these table-trays would be brought out only after kiddush, in order to demonstrate that the meal is being served in honor of the Shabbat, which had just been sanctified during the recitation of kiddush. Today, we don’t carry small tables in and out. Instead, we set the table with the challah, but cover it until the time when it would have been carried in. This delivers the message that the meal only begins after, and because of, kiddush.
3. Not only do different types of food require different blessings, but there is actually a hierarchy that regulates the order in which we recite blessings and eat various foods.
Generally, the seven foods with which the land of Israel is praised—wheat, barley, grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives and dates—take priority over other foods. In the event that one is eating two or more of these foods, they are eaten in the order that they are mentioned in the Torah. Since grain is mentioned before grapes, it would follow that the bread should be eaten before the wine.
We therefore cover the bread (“wheat”) in order that it not be “shamed” by the fact that we drink the kiddush wine (“grapes”) before we partake of the challah.
Should we sit or stand when we say Kiddush?
The reason why many stand on Friday night is because when a person makes Kiddush he gives testimony that God created the heavens and the earth. (Genesis 1:31 - 2:3) Since testimony before a court must be said standing, so too when Kiddush is said at nighttime it can be said standing.

(א) דיני קידוש על היין. ובו יז סעיפים:
כשיבא לביתו ימהר לאכול מיד:

(1) 1. When he arrives at his home, he should hurry to eat the meal immediately.

One is required to say Kiddush in the same place that we are to eat our meal. Therefore, some have the custom to sit for the blessings - in order to connect the blessing with the place for the meal.
Drinking the wine: Even those who are accustomed to reciting Kiddush standing, are to drink the wine after Kiddush only after they sit.
If the obligation is to say Kiddush where we are eating our meal, why do we say Kiddush at the synagogue?
וּשְׁמוּאֵל, לְמָה לִי לְקַדּוֹשֵׁי בְּבֵי כְנִישְׁתָּא? לְאַפּוֹקֵי אוֹרְחִים יְדֵי חוֹבָתָן, דְּאָכְלוּ וְשָׁתוּ וְגָנוּ בְּבֵי כְנִישְׁתָּא. וְאַזְדָּא שְׁמוּאֵל לְטַעְמֵיהּ, דְּאָמַר שְׁמוּאֵל: אֵין קִידּוּשׁ אֶלָּא בִּמְקוֹם סְעוּדָה. סְבוּר מִינַּהּ: הָנֵי מִילֵּי מִבַּיִת לְבַיִת, אֲבָל מִמָּקוֹם לְמָקוֹם בְּחַד בֵּיתָא — לָא.

The Gemara asks: But according to the opinion of Shmuel, why do I need to recite kiddush in the synagogue at all, if one does not fulfill his obligation with that kiddush? The Gemara answers: The purpose of kiddush in the synagogue is to fulfill the obligations of the guests who eat and drink and sleep in the synagogue. Since these visitors are staying in the synagogue for Shabbat, they must hear kiddush there. And Shmuel follows his line of reasoning, as Shmuel said: There is no valid kiddush except in the place of one’s Shabbat meal. If one does not eat a meal in the location in which he recites kiddush, he has not fulfilled the mitzva of kiddush.

What is the origin of the mezuzah?
Mezuzah is of biblical origin and therefore carries great weight. “And you shall inscribe them on the doorposts (mezuzot) of our house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:9, 11:20)
A mezuzah serves two functions: Every time you enter or leave, the mezuzah reminds you that you have a covenant with God; second, the mezuzah serves as a symbol to everyone else that this particular dwelling is constituted as a Jewish household, operating by a special set of rules, rituals, and beliefs.
The parchment is inscribed on only one side. On its reverse side, only one word appears: Shaddai, one of the names used for God. When the scroll is rolled properly, the “Shaddai” is facing the eye. The Hebrew letters of “Shaddai,” shin, dalet, yod are also the initials of the phrase shomer daltot yisrael, the Guardian of the doors of Israel.
Why do Jews kiss the mezuzah and in what order?
There is no Talmudic source obligating one to kiss the mezuzah, although there may be a source for touching the mezuzah. Kissing the mezuzah seems to have been introduced by the Arizal (sixteenth century), and is thus a relatively recent custom.
The first record of someone touching a mezuzah in this way is found in the Talmud in a story of the famous Roman convert to Judaism, Onkelos the son of Kalonymus.
Talmud, Avodah Zarah 11a.
The Talmud relates that the Roman emperor sent soldiers to bring Onkelos to him:
They went, and Onkelos told them verses from the Torah [Bible], and they were inspired and converted.
The emperor sent another group of soldiers, telling them not to tell him anything. Onkelos said, “Let me tell you something trivial . . .” Inspired by his words, they all converted.
The emperor sent another group of soldiers, and told them not to discuss anything with him.
As they were taking him out of the house, Onkelos saw a mezuzah on the doorway; he stretched out his arm and touched it. Onkelos asked them, “What is this that I am touching?” The soldiers responded, “You tell us.”
Onkelos explained to them, “It is the custom of the world that the king sits in the inside of the palace, and the guards protect him from the outside. However, with G‑d, His servants are inside their homes and He protects them from the outside, as the verse says (Psalms 121:8), “G‑d will protect your departure and your arrival from now and forever.”
The soldiers were inspired, and they converted. The emperor did not send any additional soldiers.
This Talmudic story, citing Psalms 121:8 as support, links the mitzvah of mezuzah to the notion that God stands outside a Jewish home and protects those who dwell within.
The Onkelos story can be interpreted in one of two ways. It is possible that touching the mezuzah, as Onkelos did, was a standard practice at the time; thus, the Gemara provides evidence that almost 2,000 years ago it was customary to have an “ongoing relationship” with the mezuzah. Alternatively, Onkelos’ act can be viewed as an impromptu gesture to win over the imperial delegation (which was subsequently used as a basis for instituting the practice of touching the mezuzah).

(ב) נתינתה בטפח החיצון: הגה י"א כשאדם יוצא מן הבית יניח ידו על המזוזה (מהרי"ל שם ומוכח בעבודת כוכבים דף י"א) ויאמר ה' ישמר צאתי וגו' (במדרש) וכן כשיכנס אדם לבית יניח ידו על המזוזה:

(2) Its placement is in the outer wall. Rama (Moses Isserless): There are those who say that when a person leaves his house, he puts his hand on the Mezuzah there and says “God will guard my going, etc.” And so too when one enters a house, one puts his hand on the Mezuzah.

The Rema in Darkei Moshe (YD 285), citing the Maharil, mentions the Onkelos story as the basis for the custom of touching the mezuzah. Note that while Onkelos touches the mezuzah, there is no mention of him kissing it.
Commentaries explain that it reminds you to contemplate the unity of G‑d, as Maimonides writes in his code of Jewish law, the Mishneh Torah:
Mishneh Torah, Laws of Mezuzah 6:13.
A person needs to be very careful in his or her observance of mezuzah, for it is incumbent on every individual and during the entire day.
Through the mezuzah, every time a person enters or leaves his home, he will encounter the unity of G‑d and remember his love for G‑d. Thus he will awaken from his “sleep,” and recognize his obsession with the vanity of the times. And he will know that there is nothing that lasts eternally, besides for the knowledge of the Creator of the world.
Through contemplating this, the person will regain awareness and follow the path of the upright.
It is customary for Jews to touch the mezuzah every time they pass through a door and kiss the fingers that touched it.

Rituals of the Torah Service

׆ וַיְהִ֛י בִּנְסֹ֥עַ הָאָרֹ֖ן וַיֹּ֣אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֑ה קוּמָ֣ה ׀ יְהֹוָ֗ה וְיָפֻ֙צוּ֙ אֹֽיְבֶ֔יךָ וְיָנֻ֥סוּ מְשַׂנְאֶ֖יךָ מִפָּנֶֽיךָ׃

When the Ark was to set out, Moses would say: Advance, O LORD! May Your enemies be scattered, And may Your foes flee before You!

The controversy over bowing when the Torah is out
"Gadlu L'Adonai Iti..."
There is debate as to whether or not we should bow toward the Torah or Ark at any times. There is concern that we could be creating an idol by bowing to the Torah or Ark.
We are bowing to the Divine Presence within the Torah or Ark
Why do we lift our pinky finger or tzitzit when the Torah is lifted?
It is common practice in shuls around the world for congregants to hold their pinky finger up to the Torah when it is opened and lifted for hagbah. Interestingly enough, however, the source for such a practice is far from clear.
The earliest mention of such a practice is Me’am Loez on Parshas Ki Savo, 27:26:
“It is customary to point to the writing with the little finger and to kiss it.”
What is really interesting is that the origin of the practice is completely unknown. The Me’am Loez simply records a custom that he observed. There is no known origin for the practice.
וּבְנֻחֹ֖ה יֹאמַ֑ר שׁוּבָ֣ה יְהֹוָ֔ה רִֽבְב֖וֹת אַלְפֵ֥י יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃ ׆ {פ}

And when it halted, he would say: Return, O LORD, You who are Israel’s myriads of thousands!

Bowing During the Amidah
“When Rabbi Akiva would pray by himself, he would bow down with such vigor that he would start his prayers in one corner of the room and finish in another” (Brachos 31a). Physically lowering oneself before God shows humility, and is an integral part of prayer. Although intense displays are not appropriate for most situations, our Sages established that one should bow down during Shemoneh Esrei.
“When bowing down a person should bend his body quickly and pick himself up slowly, in order to show that bowing is not a burden. While bending over he should make sure that he moves every vertebra in his spine” (Shulchan Aruch 113: 4,6). Our Sages were very specific about how we should bow down in order to express appropriate humility, since excessive displays can in fact be a sign of arrogance.
תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן: אֵלּוּ בְּרָכוֹת שֶׁאָדָם שׁוֹחֶה בָּהֶן: בְּ״אָבוֹת״, תְּחִלָּה וָסוֹף. בַּ״הוֹדָאָה״, תְּחִלָּה וָסוֹף. וְאִם בָּא לָשׁוּחַ בְּסוֹף כׇּל בְּרָכָה וּבְרָכָה, וּבִתְחִלַּת כׇּל בְּרָכָה וּבְרָכָה — מְלַמְּדִין אוֹתוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יִשְׁחֶה. אָמַר רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן פַּזִּי אָמַר רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ בֶּן לֵוִי מִשּׁוּם בַּר קַפָּרָא: הֶדְיוֹט, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאָמַרְנוּ.
The Sages taught in a Tosefta: These are the blessings in the Amida prayer in which a person bows: In the first blessing, the blessing of the Patriarchs, one bows at the beginning and the end; in the blessing of thanksgiving, one bows at the beginning and the end; and if one seeks to bow at the end of each and every blessing and at the beginning of each and every blessing, they teach him not to bow so as not to go beyond the ordinance instituted by the Sages. Rabbi Shimon ben Pazi said that Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said in the name of the tanna bar Kappara: An ordinary person [hedyot], conducts himself as we said; he bows at the beginning and the end of the blessings of Patriarchs and thanksgiving and is admonished if he seeks to bow at the beginning and end of the other blessings.
Are you required to fast for 40 days if the Torah is dropped?
Misconception: A person who drops a sefer Torah, and even one who merely witnesses it fall, must fast for forty days.
Fact: There is a late post-Talmudic custom for a person who drops a sefer Torah to fast, usually one day.
Yet there is no source in either the Babylonian or Jerusalem Talmud, the Rambam, Tur or Shulchan Aruch for fasting when a Torah falls, let alone fasting for forty days.
Among the earliest references to fasting for dropping tefillin (or a Torah scroll) are Rabbi Israel of Bruna (1400-1480; Shut Mahari Bruna 127), who explains that dropping tefillin is a sign from Heaven that one should repent and fasting is a means of repentance; and Rabbi Shmuel ben Moshe Kalai (Greece, c. 1500-1585; Sefer Mishpatei Shmuel 12) who states that we fast because dropping tefillin is a “zilzul” (desecration). Fasting after such an event entered the mainstream when the Magen Avraham (1637-1683, Poland; OC 44:5, cited in MB 40:3) and Rabbi Moshe ibn Habib (1654-1696, Jerusalem; Kapot Temarim on Sukkah 41b) noted that it is a popular custom and that it applies to a Torah scroll as well.3 These early sources mention that the one who dropped the Torah or tefillin should fast, but do not mention that those witnessing it need to fast (see Tzitz Eliezer 5:1:3:2-3).
In practice, the custom is to fast one or three BaHaB days, and this applies either to the one who dropped the sefer Torah or to all present at the time.