Tisha B'Av: Mourning

ByRabbi Margie Jacobs

Tisha B'Av and Tu B'Av: Letting Go and Building Anew

תענית כ״ו א:י״ד-כ״ו ב:ב׳

חֲמִשָּׁה דְּבָרִים אֵירְעוּ אֶת אֲבוֹתֵינוּ בְּשִׁבְעָה עָשָׂר בְּתַמּוּז וַחֲמִשָּׁה בְּתִשְׁעָה בְּאָב בְּשִׁבְעָה עָשָׂר בְּתַמּוּז נִשְׁתַּבְּרוּ הַלּוּחוֹת וּבָטַל הַתָּמִיד וְהוּבְקְעָה הָעִיר וְשָׂרַף אַפּוֹסְטְמוֹס אֶת הַתּוֹרָה וְהֶעֱמִיד צֶלֶם בַּהֵיכׇל בְּתִשְׁעָה בְּאָב נִגְזַר עַל אֲבוֹתֵינוּ שֶׁלֹּא יִכָּנְסוּ לָאָרֶץ וְחָרַב הַבַּיִת בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה וּבַשְּׁנִיָּה וְנִלְכְּדָה בֵּיתֵּר וְנֶחְרְשָׁה הָעִיר

Taanit 26a:14-26b:2

The mishna discusses the five major communal fast days. Five calamitous matters occurred to our forefathers on the seventeenth of Tammuz, and five other disasters happened on the Ninth of Av. On the seventeenth of Tammuz the tablets were broken by Moses when he saw that the Jews had made the golden calf; the daily offering was nullified by the Roman authorities and was never sacrificed again; the city walls of Jerusalem were breached; the general Apostemos publicly burned a Torah scroll; and Manasseh placed an idol in the Sanctuary. On the Ninth of Av it was decreed upon our ancestors that they would all die in the wilderness and not enter Eretz Yisrael; and the Temple was destroyed the first time, in the days of Nebuchadnezzar, and the second time, by the Romans; and Beitar was captured; and the city of Jerusalem was plowed, as a sign that it would never be rebuilt.

On the seventeenth of Tammuz:

the [first set of] tablets were broken [at Sinai] by Moses when he saw that the Jews had made the golden calf….

[and] the city walls of Jerusalem were breached [after a long siege, that led to the destruction of the ancient Temple three weeks later on Tisha B’Av]

On the Ninth of Av:

it was decreed upon our ancestors that they would all die in the wilderness and not enter the land of Israel;

and the Temple was destroyed the first time, in the days of Nebuchadnezzar, and the second time, by the Romans

Questions:

Above are a few of the many tragic events that are associated with these 2 days.
Is there any difference between the kind of events that happened on the 17th of Tammuz and those that happened on the 9th of Av?
We read our own story in the context of the larger Jewish story. Do any of these events resonate with the kind of losses that we are experiencing today? In our own lives? In this country? In the world?

יבמות מ״ג ב:י״ב

אלא אמר רב אשי שאני אבילות חדשה מאבילות ישנה ושאני אבילות דרבים מאבילות דיחיד:

Yevamot 43b:12

Rather, Rav Ashi stated a different resolution of Rav Yosei’s opinion: New mourning, i.e., the mourning for a relative who has just passed away, is different from old mourning, i.e., the mourning over historic events such as the destruction of the Temple, and it is appropriate to be more lenient in the latter. And the mourning of the public is different from the private mourning of the individual

The Talmud suggests that new/ individual mourning is more acute than old/ public mourning and therefore requires more stringent refraining from joyous celebrations. Does this distinction resonate with your own understanding and experience?
Most of us have experienced some sense (large or small) of loss, grief, mourning, or trauma in the past many months. In your own experience, how does this “new mourning” relate to “old mourning,” personal or communal?
In your experience, how is individual loss/ mourning different from communal/ public mourning? What losses during this time are personal (ie, loss of job, loved one)? What communal losses (ie, political, social) are you experiencing?
How is your response to each type of loss (old/new, personal/ public) different?

תענית כ״ו ב:א׳-ב׳

נִשְׁתַּבְּרוּ הַלּוּחוֹת וּבָטַל הַתָּמִיד וְהוּבְקְעָה הָעִיר וְשָׂרַף אַפּוֹסְטְמוֹס אֶת הַתּוֹרָה וְהֶעֱמִיד צֶלֶם בַּהֵיכׇל בְּתִשְׁעָה בְּאָב נִגְזַר עַל אֲבוֹתֵינוּ שֶׁלֹּא יִכָּנְסוּ לָאָרֶץ וְחָרַב הַבַּיִת בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה וּבַשְּׁנִיָּה וְנִלְכְּדָה בֵּיתֵּר וְנֶחְרְשָׁה הָעִיר

Taanit 26b:1-2

the tablets were broken by Moses when he saw that the Jews had made the golden calf; the daily offering was nullified by the Roman authorities and was never sacrificed again; the city walls of Jerusalem were breached; the general Apostemos publicly burned a Torah scroll; and Manasseh placed an idol in the Sanctuary. On the Ninth of Av it was decreed upon our ancestors that they would all die in the wilderness and not enter Eretz Yisrael; and the Temple was destroyed the first time, in the days of Nebuchadnezzar, and the second time, by the Romans; and Beitar was captured; and the city of Jerusalem was plowed, as a sign that it would never be rebuilt.

תענית כ״ו ב:ב׳

בְּתִשְׁעָה בְּאָב נִגְזַר עַל אֲבוֹתֵינוּ שֶׁלֹּא יִכָּנְסוּ לָאָרֶץ וְחָרַב הַבַּיִת בָּרִאשׁוֹנָה וּבַשְּׁנִיָּה וְנִלְכְּדָה בֵּיתֵּר וְנֶחְרְשָׁה הָעִיר

Taanit 26b:2

On the Ninth of Av it was decreed upon our ancestors that they would all die in the wilderness and not enter Eretz Yisrael; and the Temple was destroyed the first time, in the days of Nebuchadnezzar, and the second time, by the Romans; and Beitar was captured; and the city of Jerusalem was plowed, as a sign that it would never be rebuilt.

תענית כ״ו ב:ג׳

מִשֶּׁנִּכְנָס אָב מְמַעֲטִין בְּשִׂמְחָה שַׁבָּת שֶׁחָל תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב לִהְיוֹת בְּתוֹכָהּ אָסוּר מִלְּסַפֵּר וּמִלְּכַבֵּס וּבַחֲמִישִׁי מוּתָּרִין מִפְּנֵי כְּבוֹד הַשַּׁבָּת עֶרֶב תִּשְׁעָה בְּאָב לֹא יֹאכַל אָדָם שְׁנֵי תַבְשִׁילִין לֹא יֹאכַל בָּשָׂר וְלֹא יִשְׁתֶּה יַיִן רַבָּן שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אוֹמֵר יְשַׁנֶּה רַבִּי יְהוּדָה מְחַיֵּיב בִּכְפִיַּית הַמִּטָּה וְלֹא הוֹדוּ לוֹ חֲכָמִים

Taanit 26b:3

Not only does one fast on the Ninth of Av, but from when the month of Av begins, one decreases acts of rejoicing. During the week in which the Ninth of Av occurs, it is prohibited to cut one’s hair and to launder clothes, but if the Ninth of Av occurs on a Friday, on Thursday these actions are permitted in deference to Shabbat. On the eve of the Ninth of Av a person may not eat two cooked dishes in one meal. Furthermore, one may neither eat meat nor drink wine. Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel says: One must adjust and decrease the amount he eats. Rabbi Yehuda obligates one to overturn the bed and sleep on the floor like one in a state of mourning, but the Rabbis did not agree with him.