Checking for Spiritual Chametz Meditation
Note: Click here for the Bedikat Chametz Meditation Transcript.
Goals:
Feel spiritually connected to Pesach prep
More intentionally engage in Bedikat Chametz and Biur Chametz
Think more critically about, and learn deeper meanings behind Bedikat Chametz and Biur Chametz (and maybe Rachtza for extra measure)
Prompt: (How) do you go about cleaning your room/space? And without an "adult" telling you to do so, why do you do it?
We're going to be shifting between thinking of the process of cleaning chametz as one of a physical nature, and one that is more spiritual in nature. Ultimately, though, these are are not distinct processes - they actually reinforce one another. A clear space helps clear one's mind. As Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm said, "Take time, be exact, unclutter the mind." And in "We Plan, God Laughs," Rabbi Sherre Hirsch writes, "That massive cleaning effort is a metaphor. When your physical surroundings are cluttered, your emotional and spiritual self is cluttered. If your space is clean, then your mind is open and you can let God in."
We should constantly be asking ourselves: What can we learn about how we approach and address our internal chametz from how we approach and address our physical chametz?
(15) Seven days you shall eat unleavened bread; on the very first day you shall remove leaven from your houses, for whoever eats leavened bread from the first day to the seventh day, that person shall be cut off from Israel...(17) You shall observe the [Feast of] Unleavened Bread, for on this very day I brought your ranks out of the land of Egypt...(18) In the first month, from the fourteenth day of the month at evening, you shall eat unleavened bread until the twenty-first day of the month at evening. (19) No leaven shall be found in your houses for seven days. For whoever eats what is leavened, that person shall be cut off from the community of Israel, whether they are a stranger or a citizen of the country. (20) You shall eat nothing leavened; in all your settlements you shall eat unleavened bread.
(7) Throughout the seven days unleavened bread shall be eaten; no leavened bread shall be found with you, and no leaven shall be found in all your territory. (8) And you shall explain to your child on that day, ‘It is because of what the LORD did for me when I went free from Egypt.’
Questions:
- What commandment or commandments seem to be driven home in these texts?
- Why do you think there is a commandment to not even have leaven/chametz anywhere in your space, rather than there just being a prohibition on eating it? (There's no prohibition of having meat and milk in your house, per se, even mixed!)
- How would you go about checking for, and fully ridding your house of chametz? When would you do it? With whom? etc.
(א) אוֹר לְאַרְבָּעָה עָשָׂר, בּוֹדְקִין אֶת הֶחָמֵץ לְאוֹר הַנֵּר. כָּל מָקוֹם שֶׁאֵין מַכְנִיסִין בּוֹ חָמֵץ אֵין צָרִיךְ בְּדִיקָה. וְלָמָה אָמְרוּ שְׁתֵּי שׁוּרוֹת בַּמַּרְתֵּף, מָקוֹם שֶׁמַּכְנִיסִין בּוֹ חָמֵץ. בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים, שְׁתֵּי שׁוּרוֹת עַל פְּנֵי כָל הַמַּרְתֵּף. וּבֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים, שְׁתֵּי שׁוּרוֹת הַחִיצוֹנוֹת שֶׁהֵן הָעֶלְיוֹנוֹת:
(ב) אֵין חוֹשְׁשִׁין שֶׁמָּא גָרְרָה חֻלְדָּה מִבַּיִת לְבַיִת וּמִמָּקוֹם לְמָקוֹם, דְּאִם כֵּן, מֵחָצֵר לְחָצֵר וּמֵעִיר לְעִיר, אֵין לַדָּבָר סוֹף:
(1) On the evening of the fourteenth [of Nissan] we check for leavened bread by the light of a candle. Any place which we do not bring leavened bread into does not require checking...
(2) We do not need to be concerned [that] perhaps a weasel dragged [chametz] from [one] house to [another] house, or from [one] place to [another] place. Since if [we were to be concerned, we would also need to be concerned that chametz was dragged] from [one] courtyard to [another] courtyard, and from [one] city to [another] city — there [would be] no end to the matter.
An example of a chametz-carrying weasel:
- Why do you think checking for chametz, even today, is done with a feather and by candlelight? Why not with a vacuum and during broad daylight (or at least with the lights on)?
- How does this affect the experience?
- Assuming the treatment of chametz is unusual and, as many later commentaries (below) suggest, representative of some spiritual malady or shortcoming, how might we apply the learnings from our treatment of how we check for physical chametz to how we check for spiritual chametz?
Searching for Chametz, Frankfurt
From the collection of the National Library of Israel
Searching for Chametz, Amsterdam
From the collection of the National Library of Israel
רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר, אֵין בִּעוּר חָמֵץ אֶלָּא שְׂרֵפָה. וַחֲכָמִים אוֹמְרִים, אַף מְפָרֵר וְזוֹרֶה לָרוּחַ אוֹ מַטִּיל לַיָּם:
Rabbi Yehuda says, "The destruction of chametz may not be done except by burning. But the Sages say, "One may also crumble [it] and throw [it] into the wind or put [it] in the sea."
- What do you think are behind these two positions? (There are a couple other options, too, including "annulling" one's chametz and selling one's chametz, and the same question could be asked regarding these, too)
- When it comes to dealing with internal chametz, does the image of burning it all up to a crisp, giving it up (annulling), or throwing it off into the sea speak more strongly to you?
- What do you think is added by the (communal) burning of the chametz? Why isn't simply checking and chucking enough?
- What do you make of the movement from a humble, personal, quiet search process, to a communal bonfire? What messages do we send in "airing out our dirty chametz?"
This image is owned by Dr. Avishai Teicher under a CC BY 2.5 license.
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Rabbi Dayna Ruttenberg (www.danyaruttenberg.net, March 15, 2013)
...These preparations for Passover can feel deeply spiritual in one way, but also invite us to ask whether we’re removing the spiritual chametz from our lives along with the physical stuff. A lot of traditional commentators describe chametz as fluffy, swollen (think of bread rising), and talk about spiritual chametz as the puffy, overextended parts of our ego; the way we try to posture and preen, to achieve renown rather than just existing as we are, being gentle and modest; a mere humble matzah, if you will.
It’s a lot harder to sweep out our illusions about ourselves, the ways in which we try to put ourselves first, the ways in which we hear others a little less well because we think of ourselves as more important, the ways in which we take shortcuts on our integrity and deepest values. There’s no cabinet in which we can lock away our pettienesses and our meannesses for a week.
Rather, we have to seek them out. Like the search for physical chametz that happens in the dark, with a candle, we need to be intentional in our attempts to collect all of the parts of who we’ve been that are not nourishing, that are dragging us down. We need to look for it, and we need to be willing to find it; to confront it, to face it, to name it, to take it from where it’s been hidden all this time. This work requires tremendous bravery.
And then, when we find it, we must burn it to give it up completely, to let it go, to transform ourselves by putting the worst of who we have been on the pyre.
We know, on some level, that like the cookie crumbs under the sofa, that some of it might come creeping back after Pesach is over. But it is the act of seeking it, naming it, and releasing it, to committing, year after year after year, to purifying the self and becoming the holiest version of who we are meant to be; it is the work of seeking out and releasing our internal leaven that is, in itself, an offering to God.
Links to Internal Chametz Rituals:
- Write down your internal chametz on small pieces of paper to accompany the bread crumbs you leave around your space. Burn them together!
- https://kolaleph.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/bedikatchametzritua1-docx.pdf
- https://velveteenrabbi.blogs.com/blog/2005/04/bedikat_chametz.html
- https://www.atthewellproject.com/nissan-moon-manual-activities/a-ritual-to-connect-burn-your-inner-chametz
- https://jewish.williams.edu/files/2017/04/Bedikat-Chametz-2.pdf
- https://www.ritualwell.org/ritual/guided-meditation-prepare-pesakh
- https://www.wsj.com/articles/sick-of-cleaning-turn-it-into-meditation-11590571801
- https://themindfulcoach.com/cleaning-meditation-mindfulness-meditation/
The physical cleaning and the emotional cleaning are not two separate entities, but actually work together. The physical cleaning can actually clear the way for emotional cleaning, freeing up resources to stop worrying about the physical, and focus on the emotional.
וְרַבִּי אָלֶכְּסַנְדְרִי בָּתַר דִּמְצַלֵּי אָמַר הָכִי: ״רִבּוֹן הָעוֹלָמִים, גָּלוּי וְיָדוּעַ לְפָנֶיךָ שֶׁרְצוֹנֵנוּ לַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹנֶךָ, וּמִי מְעַכֵּב? — שְׂאוֹר שֶׁבָּעִיסָּה...
After Rabbi Alexandri prayed, he would say the following:
Master of the Universe, it is revealed and known before You
that our will is to perform Your will, and what prevents us? On the one hand, the yeast in the dough, the evil inclination that is within every person...
Rabbi Jill Hammer
In other words, our selfish impulses are kneaded all through us like yeast in dough, and it’s hard to separate them out. So Passover became a time to remove internal chametz as well as external chametz. The Chasidic thinker known as the Sefat Emet understands chametz as arrogance and matzah as humility, and points out that le-hachmitz means to miss an opportunity. To remove the chametz, the arrogance, is to discover more opportunities to connect and grow.
יא) שם הגה. והמנהג לשורפו. היינו ור"ל כי ע"י שריפת החמץ רומזת אל בחי' הקלי' שיתבערו מן העולם בסוד "ואת רוח הטומאה אעביר מן הארץ" ותתקרב קץ הגאולה ולכן נהגו לשרפו.
The custom is to burn it: Meaning to say, by burning the Chametz, it alludes towards the peels/Kelipot that need to be removed from the world, as is the Kabbalistic meaning of the verse "and the spirit of impurity will be removed from the land" (Zachariah 13:20) and bring the redemption. Which is why we have the custom to burn it.
It's written ״You shall not make molten gods for yourselves” (Shemot 34:17) and afterwards it is written ״You shall keep the feast of unleavened bread (Ibid 34:18).” What does this [verse] have to do with that one? Rather, this is the explanation: one who eats chametz on Pesach is similar to one who worships idols.
The Small Flaws with Disproportionate Impact
ספר נתיבות שלום ב:רמח
...ועל כן חמץ אסורו במשהו , כי הוא על דרך רקבון הפושה רחמנא לצלן בגופו של אדם , שאין נפקא מינה בגדלו של הרקבון , מכיון שהולך ומתפשט ומרקיב את כלו כמו כן החמץ שהוא שרש הרע הפורה ראש ולענה אין לו שעור ואסור אפלו משהו .
Sefer Netivot Shalom vol. 2, p. 248
And therefore, chametz is forbidden in any amount, because it is like the rotting that spreads, God help us, in the soul of a person - there is no real difference in the amount of rot, since it continues to spread and rot continuously, since the chametz is the root of evil, that sprouts poison weed and wormwood, and therefore there is no minimum, it is forbidden in any amount.
(Art by Arielle Angel)
The verse states: “And the daughter of Pharaoh came down to bathe [lirḥotz] in the river” (Exodus 2:5). Rabbi Yoḥanan says in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: This teaches that she came down to the river to cleanse herself from the impurity of her father’s idols. And similarly it states: “When the Lord shall have washed [raḥatz] away the filth of the daughters of Zion, and shall have purged the blood of Jerusalem from the midst thereof, by the spirit of judgment, and by the spirit of destruction” (Isaiah 4:4). This washing clearly refers to the purging of spiritual sins, rather than bathing for the sake of cleanliness.
Transcribed (Roughly) from Rabbi Ami Silver's podcast, Awakening
Urchatz - we pass around bowl and wash the person next to us, like the Levites did for the Cohanim. Our home is temple. Odd to do this now, but in times of temple with strict laws of impurity - there was practice of extra pious people to eat in purity, so would wash hands, especailly whne eating fruit/vegetables that was wet with water. To do now is considered arrogant acc to SA. But we do it tonight. Urchatz - AND wash yours hands. Rachatz in Aramic means trust/confidence. We begin to act like it's real - practice confidence in our own freedom. We do it for others too - I trust you and in your actions, you too are holy.
At this moment, she decides she is going to wash herself clean from all the corruption of Egypt. To dip in the Mikvah and purify herself from the pain, cruel worldview, emerge to a place of compassion and redemption. Now, we get to cleanse ourselves from limiting beliefs, any belief system we hold onto that maybe we are not free, maybe there isn't the possibility for hope. Rachtzah here (after dayeinu of every small miracle, including the incomplete etc.) - now we can bathe in that realization and wash ourselves of limit beliefs. and this brings us back to the trust of Urchatz. Bei Ana Rachitz (I place faith and trust in this moment - in the washing, to emerge clean and redeemed)
(י) כל מקום שמכניסין בו חמץ צריך בדיקה. ר"ל שצריך כל אחד לבדוק במקום שדרך היצה"ר הוא החמץ לשכון שם כ"א לפי ערכו מי שדרכו לפגום בבריתו ח"ו או בעיניו ח"ו לראות במקום שאין רשאין לראות צריך לבדקם ולבער ולשוב בתשוב' ובחרטה גמורה שאל יעשה עוד עבירה ועל מה שעשה יחזור בתשובה שלימה ובוודאי ימחול לו הקב"ה. וכל מקום שאין מכניסין בו חמץ אין צריך בדיקה. נראה הרמז דהנה יש ב"א שאינם משגיחין על מעשיהם רק על מעשים של ב"א אחרים ולזה מזהיר התנא מקום שאין מכניסין כו' אין צריך בדיקה. כלומר שאין (לעשות) כך שישגיח על מעשיהם של אחרים רק שיתקן וישגיח על מעשיו:
(10) All places where one does bring chametz in, need to be searched ~ meaning, one needs to search every place where their yetzer harah, which is the chametz, usually resides. And this place is different for each and everyone: the one whose yetzer resides on finding fault on others, God forbid, or whose eyes are always turned to that that should not be seen, God forbid, they need to search, and destroy, and completely return from that path so they won’t do it anymore, and if they return from what did in the past in a complete return (teshuvah) obviously the Holy One of Blessing will forgive them. And in places where one does not put chametz in, there is no need to search ~ and it appears to me that this is a remez, hint: there are those who do not notice their own behavior, but only the behavior of other people. And the warning of our mishnah is regarding this: and in places where one does not put … there is no need to search, meaning, one should not investigate other people’s behavior, but should investigate their own, and fix their own behavior.
... נראה הרמז שאל יאמר האדם איך אוכל לבדוק כל החטאים ועונות שאין אני זוכר את כולם. לזה אמר חורין הגבוהין שאין יד אדם מגעת שם ר"ל שאין זוכר אותם אין צריך בדיקה אלא האדם צריך לבדוק ולשוב בתשובה על אותן עוונות שהוא זוכר. ואותם שאינו זוכר ממילא יהיו בטלים כי הקב"ה אומר אלו הי' זוכר עוונות הראשונים בוודאי הי' מתחרט עליהם ושב בתשובה כמו שהוא מתחרט ושב על אותן שהוא זוכר:
One should never say ‘I won’t be able to check all my misdeeds and sins, because I don’t remember them all!’ To this is the reference Holes that are too tall for the hand to reach – if you don’t remember them, there is no need to search there. Yet regarding those one does remember, one needs to search, to fix and to return. And those one does not remember immediately will be cancelled, since the Holy One of Blessing will say ‘if s/he had remembered their earlier misdeeds and sins, obviously s/he would regret them and turn from them, just as s/he regrets and returns from those s/he remembers.
Text from Rabbi Ben Perlstein's Biur Hametz Meditaiton Transcribed (Roughly) :
In this ritual we move from room to room with a candle, searching for and burning up any remaining chametz. Our tradition offers us an internal dimension to this practice, translating chametz not just as leavening of grain products, but also of inflation of ego - arrogance in the heart. It's particularly important for us to do the checking for an removal of this internal chametz because as we move to freedom, which really is freedom from affliction and humiliation, it's so important that we remain humble and don't get carried away with ego. That as we leave slavery ,we are still in service, and that we recover our dignity without becoming inflated.
The search by the candle - gently searching for the chametz - it's not supposed to be a torch or big consuming fire, so even as we check our egos, we are not obliterating them. The word for chametz shares a root in Hebrew for Chamtzan - which is oxygen. It's symbolic. that the flame we use to burn the chametz is fueled by oxygen, even as it is also getting rid of products of fermentation through oxygen, and so it certainly is also true with the breath, that this same process that can puff up our chests and inflate us with oxygen - just a a gentle in-breath can be so powerful in ridding us from that arrogance.
In fact the book of Mishlei has a verse - the candle of God is the soul of a person, searching all of one's inner rooms. We see this gentle candle can be used not only searching the rooms for our homes but also the rooms of our hearts. But also hearing the words Nishmat Adam - the soul of a person - the resonance with the word Neshima, or breath. So I'd like to invite us to take a few deep breaths, and to focus our intention on experiencing each inhalation as a gentle search with that candle of the breath through our hearts for any excess arrogance, and with every exhalation, feeling the release of that internal chametz, freedom from the affliction of arrogance. Freedom from the tightness of ego. Again, not adding insult to injury - just softening and releasing. Nothing too self-deprecating, but rather self-affirming in recovering the humble, dignified sense of service and freedom that Pesach is all about.
We can just take a few deep breaths this way - doing the internal soul-searching for any chametz that needs to be released still before Pesach. I invite you to stay with this breathing exercise for as long as you like, and just take a breath-break from the frenzy not only of other forms of Pesach prep, but also from the situation of the world we are living in. A. time that asks us to cultivate a sense of balance and appreciation for the uncertainty, a sense of humility in the face of forces that feel beyond our control and knowledge, balanced with a sense of importance for our actions, a sense that our choices matter at this time, that we can do, even in very small acts, so much to support each other and look out for each others' health and safety, not falling into the extremes of either assuming what we do does not matter or that we are in total control of everything. Rather, feeling that balanced equanimity I hope this breathing practice brings. Of humility, not humiliation. Service, not slavery. Dignity, without undue inflation of ego. And with that I want to wish everybody a truly meaningful and safe Passover holiday, a zissen Pesach, and Chag Sameach, and thank you for the work you are doing both inside and out at this time.