Save " The Shabbos Queen and Kallah "
The Shabbos Queen and Kallah
Introduction
Go around in a circle. Ask one of the following questions:
What's the Shabbos experience in one word?
What is your favorite Shabbos memory?
Part #1: Greet the Queen

רבי חנינא מיעטף וקאי אפניא דמעלי שבתא אמר בואו ונצא לקראת שבת המלכה

The Gemara now returns to the issue of delight in and deference to Shabbat. Rabbi Ḥanina would wrap himself in his garment and stand at nightfall on Shabbat eve, and say: Come and we will go out to greet Shabbat the queen.

Discussion Questions:
In what ways is Shabbos a queen?
How do you greet a queen?
How do you act before one?
What is the relationship between a subject and his queen?

(יב) שָׁמ֣֛וֹר אֶת־י֥וֹם֩ הַשַׁבָּ֖֨ת לְקַדְּשׁ֑֜וֹ כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר צִוְּךָ֖֣ ׀ יהוה אֱלֹהֶֽ֗יךָ

(12) Guard the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD your God has commanded you.

Discussion Question(s):
How does one "guard" the Shabbos day?

(ב) אֲבוֹת מְלָאכוֹת אַרְבָּעִים חָסֵר אֶחָת. הַזּוֹרֵעַ. וְהַחוֹרֵשׁ. וְהַקּוֹצֵר. וְהַמְעַמֵּר. הַדָּשׁ. וְהַזּוֹרֶה. הַבּוֹרֵר. הַטּוֹחֵן. וְהַמְרַקֵּד. וְהַלָּשׁ. וְהָאוֹפֶה. הַגּוֹזֵז אֶת הַצֶּמֶר. הַמְלַבְּנוֹ. וְהַמְנַפְּצוֹ. וְהַצּוֹבְעוֹ. וְהַטּוֹוֶה. וְהַמֵּסֵךְ. וְהָעוֹשֶׂה שְׁנֵי בָתֵּי נִירִין. וְהָאוֹרֵג שְׁנֵי חוּטִין. וְהַפּוֹצֵעַ שְׁנֵי חוּטִין. הַקּוֹשֵׁר. וְהַמַּתִּיר. וְהַתּוֹפֵר שְׁתֵּי תְפִירוֹת. הַקּוֹרֵעַ עַל מְנָת לִתְפֹּר שְׁתֵּי תְפִירוֹת. הַצָּד צְבִי. הַשּׁוֹחֲטוֹ. וְהַמַּפְשִׁיטוֹ. הַמּוֹלְחוֹ, וְהַמְעַבֵּד אֶת עוֹרוֹ. וְהַמּוֹחֲקוֹ. וְהַמְחַתְּכוֹ. הַכּוֹתֵב שְׁתֵּי אוֹתִיּוֹת. וְהַמּוֹחֵק עַל מְנָת לִכְתֹּב שְׁתֵּי אוֹתִיּוֹת. הַבּוֹנֶה. וְהַסּוֹתֵר. הַמְכַבֶּה. וְהַמַּבְעִיר. הַמַּכֶּה בַפַּטִּישׁ. הַמּוֹצִיא מֵרְשׁוּת לִרְשׁוּת. הֲרֵי אֵלּוּ אֲבוֹת מְלָאכוֹת אַרְבָּעִים חָסֵר אֶחָת:

(2)Primary categories of labor prohibited on Shabbat, which number forty minus one. They are grouped in accordance with their function: One who sows, and one who plows, and one who reaps, and one who gathers sheaves into a pile, and one who threshes, removing the kernel from the husk, and one who winnows threshed grain in the wind, and one who selects the inedible waste from the edible, and one who grinds, and one who sifts the flour in a sieve, and one who kneads dough, and one who bakes. Additional primary categories of prohibited labor are the following: One who shears wool, and one who whitens it, and one who combs the fleece and straightens it, and one who dyes it, and one who spins the wool, and one who stretches the threads of the warp in the loom, and one who constructs two meshes, tying the threads of the warp to the base of the loom, and one who weaves two threads, and one who severs two threads for constructive purposes, and one who ties a knot, and one who unties a knot, and one who sews two stitches with a needle, as well as one who tears a fabric in order to sew two stitches.One who traps a deer, or any living creature, and one who slaughters it, and one who flays it, and one who salts its hide, a step in the tanning process, and one who tans its hide, and one who smooths it, removing hairs and veins, and one who cuts it into measured parts. One who writes two letters and one who erases in order to write two letters. One who builds a structure, and one who dismantles it, one who extinguishes a fire, and one who kindles a fire. One who strikes a blow with a hammer to complete the production process of a vessel (Rabbeinu Ḥananel), and one who carries out an object from domain to domain. All these are primary categories of labor, and they number forty minus one.

Part #2: Wait for the Bride

רַבִּי יַנַּאי לָבֵישׁ מָאנֵי מְעַלּוּ (שַׁבָּת) [וּמִיכַּסֵּי], וְאָמַר: ״בּוֹאִי כַלָּה, בּוֹאִי כַלָּה״. רַבָּה בַּר רַב הוּנָא אִיקְּלַע לְבֵי רַבָּה בַּר רַב נַחְמָן. קָרִיבוּ לֵיהּ תְּלָת סָאוֵי טַחְיֵי. אֲמַר לְהוּ: מִי הֲוָה יָדְעִיתוּן דְּאָתֵינָא? אֲמַרוּ לֵיהּ: מִי עֲדִיפַתְּ לַן מִינַּהּ?

Rabbi Yannai put on his garment on Shabbat eve and said: Enter, O bride. Enter, O bride. The Gemara relates: Rabba bar Rav Huna happened to come to the house of Rabba bar Rav Naḥman. They brought before him three se’a of oiled biscuits. He said to them: Did you know I was coming and prepared all of this in my honor? They said to him: Are you more important to us than Shabbat?

לְכָה דוֹדִי לִקְרַאת כַּלָּה

פְּנֵי שַׁבָּת נְקַבְּלָה

בֹּאִי בְשָׁלוֹם עֲטֶרֶת בַּעְלָהּ

גַּם בְּשִּׂמְחָה וּבְצָהֳלָה

תּוֹךְ אֱמוּנֵי עַם סְגֻלָּה

בּוֹאִי כַלָּה בּוֹאִי כַלָּה

Come, lover, to welcome the bride

The face of Shabbat we will receive

Come in peace, crown of her husband,

As well in joy and in jubilation,

The midst of the faithful precious nation,

Enter, bride! Enter, bride!

(ט) רַבִּי שָׁאֲלֵיהּ לְרַבִּי יִשְׁמָעֵאל בְּרַבִּי יוֹסֵי, אֲמַר לֵיהּ שָׁמַעְתָּ מֵאָבִיךָ מַהוּ וַיְכַל אֱלֹהִים בַּיּוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי, אֶתְמְהָא...

גְּנִיבָא וְרַבָּנָן, גְּנִיבָא אָמַר מָשָׁל לְמֶלֶךְ שֶׁעָשָׂה לוֹ חֻפָּה, וְצִיְּירָהּ וְכִיְּירָהּ, וּמָה הָיְתָה חֲסֵרָה, כַּלָּה שֶׁתִּכָּנֵס לְתוֹכָהּ. כָּךְ מֶה הָיָה הָעוֹלָם חָסֵר, שַׁבָּת. רַבָּנָן אָמְרֵי מָשָׁל לְמֶלֶךְ שֶׁעָשׂוּ לוֹ טַבַּעַת, מֶה הָיְתָה חֲסֵרָה, חוֹתָם. כָּךְ מֶה הָיָה הָעוֹלָם חָסֵר, שַׁבָּת.

Rebbi asked R’Yishmael bar R’Yose: He said to him, ‘have you heard from your father what is the meaning of, and G-d finished on the seventh day? Is it possible that G-d worked on the seventh Day?

Geniva and the Rabbis present explanations. Geniva said: This is compared to a king who made for himself a wedding canopy (chuppah), and he decorated it and ornamented it. What then was it missing? A bride to enter into it! Similarly, what was the world missing? The Sabbath.

Discussion Questions:
In what ways is Shabbos a bride?
How do you greet a bride?
How do you act towards your bride?
What is the relationship between a chasan and a kallah?
Why do you think it's a bride and not a wife?

(ח) דָּבָר אַחֵר, לָמָּה בֵּרְכוֹ, רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה וְרַבִּי דוֹסְתָּאי וְרַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר נַחְמָן. רַבֶּרֶכְיָה וְרַבִּי דוֹסְתָּאי אוֹמְרִים שֶׁאֵין לוֹ בֶּן זוּג, חַד בְּשַׁבַּתָּא, תְּרֵי, תְּלָתָא, אַרְבַּעְתָּא, חַמְשָׁא, עֲרוּבְתָּא, שַׁבַּתָּא לֵית לָהּ בֶּן זוּג. רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל בַּר נַחְמָן אָמַר שֶׁאֵינוֹ נִדְחֶה, יוֹם טוֹב נִדְחֶה, יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים נִדְחֶה, שַׁבָּת אֵינָהּ נִדְחֵית. תָּנֵי רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בֶּן יוֹחָאי, אָמְרָה שַׁבָּת לִפְנֵי הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם לְכֻלָּן יֵשׁ בֶּן זוּג, וְלִי אֵין בֶּן זוּג. אָמַר לָהּ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא כְּנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל הִיא בֶּן זוּגֵךְ. וְכֵיוָן שֶׁעָמְדוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל לִפְנֵי הַר סִינַי אָמַר לָהֶם הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא זִכְרוּ הַדָּבָר שֶׁאָמַרְתִּי לְשַׁבָּת, כְּנֶסֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל הִיא בֶּן זוּגֵךְ, הַיְנוּ דִּבּוּר (שמות כ, ח): זָכוֹר אֶת יוֹם הַשַּׁבָּת לְקַדְשׁוֹ.

(8) Why did God bless Shabbat? Rabbi Berekiah says: "Because it has no partner. The first day of the week has the second, the third has the fourth, the fifth has the sixth, but Shabbat has no partner. Rabbi Samuel ben Nahman said: Because it cannot be postponed: a festival can be postponed, as well as the Day of Atonement [because these are days which a beit din must declare to be a new moon]. Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai taught: Shabbat pleased with the Holy One, Blessed be God saying: "Everyone else has a partner, but I have nothing!" God answered saying: "The community of Israel will be your partner." God continued: "And when thy stood before Sinai, God said to the Israelites: "Remember what I said to Shabbat, that the community of Israel is your partner, [in the words of scripture] "Remember Shabbat and keep it holy" (Exodus 20:8)...

Discussion Quesions:
A shuddich or a match for marriage is more than just a “good thing” for you, it's specially chosen for you, someone that you truly connect with. In what ways is Shabbat your shidduch?

(ח) זָכ֛וֹר֩ אֶת־י֥֨וֹם הַשַּׁבָּ֖֜ת לְקַדְּשֽׁ֗וֹ

(8) Remember the sabbath day to sanctify it.

Discussion Questions:
How does one remember Shabbos day?

(ב) לקדשו וזה תעשה כדי שתוכל לקדשו. הזהיר שיסדר האדם עסקיו בימי המעשה, באופן שיוכל להסיח דעתו מהם ביום השבת:

לקדשו, the reminder to remember the Sabbath constantly was intended to ensure that you observe all the commandments associated with the day. Even the order to work six days is intended to ensure that by concentrating on the need to make a living during those days, this will enable such people to take their minds off such mundane matters on the Sabbath.

(א) מצות קדוש שבת בדברים - לדבר דברים ביום שבת בכניסתו וכן ביציאתו, שיהיה בהם זכר גדלת היום ומעלתו והבדלתו לשבח משאר הימים שלפניו ואחריו, שנאמר (שמות כ ח) זכור את יום השבת לקדשו, כלומר, זכרהו זכר קדשה וגדלה. ובפרוש אמרו לנו חכמינו (פסחים קי, א) שדברים אלו מצווים אנו לאמרן על היין, שכן בא הפרוש זכרהו על היין...

ומברכין עליו קדוש שבת, כמו שידוע הנוסח בין היהודים. וכן ביציאת שבת גם כן מברכין על היין לכבוד היום, ואותה ברכה של מוצאי שבת נקראת (ברכות נב, א) הבדלה.

משרשי מצוה זו, כדי שנתעורר מתוך מעשה זה לזכר גדלת היום ונקבע בלבבנו אמונת חדוש העולם (שמות כ יא) כי ששת ימים עשה יהוה וגו'. ועל כן נתחיבנו לעשות המעשה עם היין, לפי שטבע האדם מתעורר בו הרבה (ברכות לה, ב) שהוא סועד ומשמח...

The commandment of the sanctification of Shabbat with words: To speak words on the Shabbat upon its entry and also its departure - that there be in them cognizance of the greatness of the day and its stature and its positive distinction from the other days before it and after it; as it is stated (Exodus 20:8), "Remember the Shabbat day, to sanctify it," meaning to say, remember it with a memory of [its] holiness and greatness. And in explanation, our Sages told us (Pesachim 110a) that we are commanded to say these things upon wine - as so does the explanation come: remember it over wine...

And we recite the blessing of the Kiddush (sanctification) of Shabbat upon it, according to the wording that is known among the Jews. And so [too], at the departure of Shabbat, we recite the blessing over the wine in honor of the day - and that blessing of the conclusion of Shabbat is called Havdalah (Berakhot 52a).

It is from the roots of this commandment [that it is] in order that we be aroused through this act to remember the greatness of the day and that we fix upon our hearts faith in the creation of the world, "that in six days the Lord made, etc." (Exodus 20:11). And therefore, we are obligated to do an act with wine - since the nature of man is to be greatly aroused by it (Berakhot 35b), as it satiates and causes joy.

אמרו חכמים (ביצה טז, א) על שמאי הזקן, שכל ימיו היה אוכל לכבוד שבת, היה מוצא בהמה נאה, אומר: זו לשבת. מצא אחרת נאה הימנה, אכל הראשונה ושייר השנייה המשובחת יותר לשבת. כלומר, בכל ימות החול היה אוכל תמיד את המאכל הפחות טוב, משום שאת הטוב היה שומר לשבת. נמצא אפוא, שכל ימיו היה אוכל לכבוד שבת וחושב כיצד לכבדה ולקדשה. אבל הלל הזקן מידה אחרת היתה לו, שכל מעשיו לשם שמים, ואף את ימות החול היה מכבד ומקדש, שנאמר (תהלים סח, כ): "בָּרוּךְ יהוה יוֹם יוֹם". לכן כשהיה מזדמן לפניו מאכל טוב בימות השבוע, היה אוכלו, שהיה בוטח ביהוה שכמו שזימן לפניו מאכל טוב ליום חול, כך יזמן לפניו מאכל משובח יותר לכבוד שבת קודש. וכך היה נותן לכל יום את הכבוד והערך הראוי לו (רש"י שם; רמב"ן על שמות כ, ח).

The Sages recount that Shammai would always eat in honor of Shabbat. When he saw a fine animal he would say: “This is for Shabbat.” If he found an even better one, he would eat the first one and leave the better one for Shabbat (Beitza 16a). In other words, all week he would eat lower quality food, always saving the best for Shabbat. In this way, whenever he ate he honored Shabbat and considered how he could honor and sanctify it. Hillel possessed a different trait. All his actions were undertaken for the greater glory of God. He would make a point of honoring and sanctifying the weekdays as well as Shabbat, thus fulfilling the mandate to “Bless God every day” (Tehilim 68:20). Therefore, when good food came his way during the week he would eat it, trusting that just as God made sure he had good food during the week, He would make sure that he would have even better food for the holy Shabbat. Thus Hillel honored and valued each day (Rashi ad loc.; Ramban, Shemot 20:8).

(א) אַרְבָעָה דְּבָרִים נֶאֶמְרוּ בְּשַׁבָּת. שְׁנַיִם מִן הַתּוֹרָה. וּשְׁנַיִם מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים וְהֵן מְפֹרָשִׁין עַל יְדֵי הַנְּבִיאִים. שֶׁבַּתּוֹרָה (שמות כ ז) "זָכוֹר" וְ (דברים ה יא) "שָׁמוֹר". וְשֶׁנִּתְפָּרְשׁוּ עַל יְדֵי הַנְּבִיאִים כָּבוֹד וָעֹנֶג שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה נח יג) "וְקָרָאתָ לַשַּׁבָּת עֹנֶג וְלִקְדוֹשׁ יהוה מְכֻבָּד":

(ב) אֵיזֶהוּ כָּבוֹד זֶה שֶׁאָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים שֶׁמִּצְוָה עַל אָדָם לִרְחֹץ פָּנָיו יָדָיו וְרַגְלָיו בְּחַמִּין בְּעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת מִפְּנֵי כְּבוֹד הַשַּׁבָּת וּמִתְעַטֵּף בְּצִיצִית וְיוֹשֵׁב בְּכֹבֶד רֹאשׁ מְיַחֵל לְהַקְבָּלַת פְּנֵי הַשַּׁבָּת כְּמוֹ שֶׁהוּא יוֹצֵא לִקְרַאת הַמֶּלֶךְ. וַחֲכָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים הָיוּ מְקַבְּצִין תַּלְמִידֵיהֶן בְּעֶרֶב שַׁבָּת וּמִתְעַטְּפִים וְאוֹמְרִים בּוֹאוּ וְנֵצֵא לִקְרַאת שַׁבָּת הַמֶּלֶךְ:

(1) Four things have been enjoined regarding the Sabbath: two on biblical authority, and two on the authority of the sages and clearly expressed by the Prophets. The Torah says: Remember (Exodus 20:8) and Guard (Deuteronomy 5:12); the Prophets clearly speak of Honor and Delight, as it is written: "Call the Sabbath a delight, and the Lord's sacred day an honor" (Isaiah 58:13).

(2) What is meant by honor? The sages explained this by declaring that each person should wash his face, hands and feet with hot water on Friday in honor of the Sabbath, and then enwrap himself in a fringed garment and be seated with dignity in expectation of the Sabbath, receiving it as if he were coming out to meet the king. The ancient sages used to assemble their disciples on Friday, put on their best clothes, and say: "Come, let us go out to meet King Sabbath."

Discussion questions:
How can we have a strong marriage with Shabbos?
If Shabbat is our partner, what are the children?
What is one thing that you can do to make shabbos your queen?
What is one thing that you can do to make shabbos your bride?