(ו) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אָנֹכִי֙ אֱלֹהֵ֣י אָבִ֔יךָ אֱלֹהֵ֧י אַבְרָהָ֛ם אֱלֹהֵ֥י יִצְחָ֖ק וֵאלֹהֵ֣י יַעֲקֹ֑ב וַיַּסְתֵּ֤ר מֹשֶׁה֙ פָּנָ֔יו כִּ֣י יָרֵ֔א מֵהַבִּ֖יט אֶל־הָאֱלֹהִֽים׃
(6) I am,” He said, “the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God.
Fear is a great deterrent. Because a primary responsibility of a leader is to inspire people to act beyond their fears, the person becoming a leader must certainly learn to do so for himself. From the Torah text is Shemos and Vaera, we have three examples of Moshe (AKA Moses) facing fear. It is interesting that the three categories of Moshe's fears denoted here, can be categorize, like violations and Teshuva as bain adam l’makon, bain adam l’chavairo, bain adnm l’atzmo (between a person and God, between a person and his fellow, between a person and himself).
The first example in Shemos, Moshe’s fear of looking at God, is described in Shemos 3:6. One can say with confidence that Moshe resolves that fear as we are told later in Torah that he encounters God panim el panim - face to face.
(ג) וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הַשְׁלִיכֵ֣הוּ אַ֔רְצָה וַיַּשְׁלִיכֵ֥הוּ אַ֖רְצָה וַיְהִ֣י לְנָחָ֑שׁ וַיָּ֥נָס מֹשֶׁ֖ה מִפָּנָֽיו׃
(3) He said, “Cast it on the ground.” He cast it on the ground and it became a snake; and Moses recoiled from it.
(ד) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהוָה֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה שְׁלַח֙ יָֽדְךָ֔ וֶאֱחֹ֖ז בִּזְנָב֑וֹ וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח יָדוֹ֙ וַיַּ֣חֲזֶק בּ֔וֹ וַיְהִ֥י לְמַטֶּ֖ה בְּכַפּֽוֹ׃
(4) Then the LORD said to Moses, “Put out your hand and grasp it by the tail”—he put out his hand and seized it, and it became a rod in his hand—
It is interesting that the magic / miracle God chooses to portray results in the snake; the object of primordial human fear. Moshe's understandable response is to run. God assists Moshe in overcoming his fear by telling him to grasp the snake. God never says what will happen if Moshe does. So Moshe leans in to an action that both helps overcome fear (by literally taking control of the fear object) and having faith that the outcome of doing so will not be deleterious. I suggest that the leader must learn to confront what mortals naturally fear, with the resolve that they can assist in a favorable resolution.
(י) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֣ה אֶל־יְהוָה֮ בִּ֣י אֲדֹנָי֒ לֹא֩ אִ֨ישׁ דְּבָרִ֜ים אָנֹ֗כִי גַּ֤ם מִתְּמוֹל֙ גַּ֣ם מִשִּׁלְשֹׁ֔ם גַּ֛ם מֵאָ֥ז דַּבֶּרְךָ אֶל־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֧י כְבַד־פֶּ֛ה וּכְבַ֥ד לָשׁ֖וֹן אָנֹֽכִי׃
(10) But Moses said to the LORD, “Please, O Lord, I have never been a man of words, either in times past or now that You have spoken to Your servant; I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”
(יא) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהוָ֜ה אֵלָ֗יו מִ֣י שָׂ֣ם פֶּה֮ לָֽאָדָם֒ א֚וֹ מִֽי־יָשׂ֣וּם אִלֵּ֔ם א֣וֹ חֵרֵ֔שׁ א֥וֹ פִקֵּ֖חַ א֣וֹ עִוֵּ֑ר הֲלֹ֥א אָנֹכִ֖י יְהוָֽה׃
(11) And the LORD said to him, “Who gives man speech? Who makes him dumb or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD?
(יג) וַיֹּ֖אמֶר בִּ֣י אֲדֹנָ֑י שְֽׁלַֽח־נָ֖א בְּיַד־תִּשְׁלָֽח׃
(13) But he said, “Please, O Lord, make someone else Your agent.”
Significantly, notwithstanding that Moshe is able to overcome the external fears of seeing God and controlling the snake, he is not able to get beyond the fear of failure as a result of his speech disability. Even with God's assurance. So its not a matter of faith in the One who provides speech to all, but a matter of the psyche of the human being and a person's response to their own limitations. The fear is so imbedded that Moshe does not believe he can overcome it, to the extent that because of his impression of his disability, he wants to withdraw from leading the greatest project in Israel's history to date.
We can think of the first fear; fear of looking at God as a fear "Bain Adam l'Makon"(between a person and God). We can think of the second fear; fear of the snake as "Bain Adam l'Chavairo" (between a person and his fellow / other) with a broader understanding of "Chavairo" as something in the created world. We can think of fear of one's perceived disabilities as a fear "Bain Adam l'Atzmo" (between a person and "himself"). It's an internal fear. Its is the most difficult to overcome and we will see that Moshe has extreme difficulty confronting his perceived speech disability to the extent that he prefers to withdraw from the project.
My Grandson, Jack Greenfield, points out that from the verses in Torah we can also categorize the failure to act from fear of the personal perception of disability as both violations of "Bain Adam l'Makom", because God created each person with limitations and understands what a person can do, and in this case chose Moshe to represent Israel ("mi saam peh...") notwithstanding any limitation. It can also be viewed, ultimately by its consequence of refraining from acting as a violation "Bain Adam l'Chavairo" , because of your fear you did not step forward to help your fellow - in this case, not stepping forward to lead the people. (It is interesting to think about whether ones failure to act / intercede when it was possible, i.e., passivity, can be a violation Bain Adam l'Chavairo; can a "violation" result from passivity?)
(יד) וַיִּֽחַר־אַ֨ף יְהוָ֜ה בְּמֹשֶׁ֗ה וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הֲלֹ֨א אַהֲרֹ֤ן אָחִ֙יךָ֙ הַלֵּוִ֔י יָדַ֕עְתִּי כִּֽי־דַבֵּ֥ר יְדַבֵּ֖ר ה֑וּא וְגַ֤ם הִנֵּה־הוּא֙ יֹצֵ֣א לִקְרָאתֶ֔ךָ וְרָאֲךָ֖ וְשָׂמַ֥ח בְּלִבּֽוֹ׃
(14) The LORD became angry with Moses, and He said, “There is your brother Aaron the Levite. He, I know, speaks readily. Even now he is setting out to meet you, and he will be happy to see you.
Because Moshe is not willing to overcome his fear of his perceived disability, God enlists Aaron to be Moshe's speaker, to compensate.
It is interesting to think about why God is angry at Moshe. Is it because he is not willing to overcome his "inner / personal" fear in the same way that he was willing (and able) to overcome the external fears? Is it because he wants to cop out of the mission? Is it that he doesn't think about the route of compensating for his fear - i.e. - he doesn't work the challenge through and consider all possible solutions? Or, maybe God is angry just because Moshe's reluctance to lead is messing up the master plan.
Is it fair for God to get angry at Moshe for his reluctance. After all, it's their first date!
What does God accomplish by becoming angry?
Is anger an emotion of being out of control; is God out of control?
What does it even mean that God became angry?
Is God's anger the same as human anger?
(י) וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר יְהוָ֖ה אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֥ה לֵּאמֹֽר׃
(10) The LORD spoke to Moses, saying,
(יא) בֹּ֣א דַבֵּ֔ר אֶל־פַּרְעֹ֖ה מֶ֣לֶךְ מִצְרָ֑יִם וִֽישַׁלַּ֥ח אֶת־בְּנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל מֵאַרְצֽוֹ׃
(11) “Go and tell Pharaoh king of Egypt to let the Israelites depart from his land.”
(יב) וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר מֹשֶׁ֔ה לִפְנֵ֥י יְהוָ֖ה לֵאמֹ֑ר הֵ֤ן בְּנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ לֹֽא־שָׁמְע֣וּ אֵלַ֔י וְאֵיךְ֙ יִשְׁמָעֵ֣נִי פַרְעֹ֔ה וַאֲנִ֖י עֲרַ֥ל שְׂפָתָֽיִם׃ (פ)
(12) But Moses appealed to the LORD, saying, “The Israelites would not listen to me; how then should Pharaoh heed me, a man of impeded speech!”
Moshe has already been rejected by Pharaoh and by Israel, because he has caused more harm than good. He fall back on his inner insecurity. He projects the failure in the first round as resulting from his inabilities. I.e. I can not be successful because I have a disability. Or rather, I cannot fail because it is my disability that inhibits success. I am safe.