How to Write a Kosher New Year's Resolution

In order to have that degree of control over the future, man must first learn to distinguish between what happens by accident and what by design . . . and before he can do this, man himself will really have to become reliable, regular, necessary, even in his own self-image, so that he, as someone making a promise is, is answerable for his own future!

- Friedrich Nietzsche

(א) אַרְבָּעָה רָאשֵׁי שָׁנִים הֵם. בְּאֶחָד בְּנִיסָן רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה לַמְּלָכִים וְלָרְגָלִים. בְּאֶחָד בֶּאֱלוּל רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה לְמַעְשַׂר בְּהֵמָה. רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר וְרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן אוֹמְרִים, בְּאֶחָד בְּתִשְׁרֵי. בְּאֶחָד בְּתִשְׁרֵי רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה לַשָּׁנִים וְלַשְּׁמִטִּין וְלַיּוֹבְלוֹת, לַנְּטִיעָה וְלַיְרָקוֹת. בְּאֶחָד בִּשְׁבָט, רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה לָאִילָן, כְּדִבְרֵי בֵית שַׁמַּאי. בֵּית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים, בַּחֲמִשָּׁה עָשָׂר בּוֹ:

(ב) בְּאַרְבָּעָה פְרָקִים הָעוֹלָם נִדּוֹן, בְּפֶסַח עַל הַתְּבוּאָה, בַּעֲצֶרֶת עַל פֵּרוֹת הָאִילָן, בְּרֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה כָּל בָּאֵי הָעוֹלָם עוֹבְרִין לְפָנָיו כִּבְנֵי מָרוֹן, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (תהלים לג) הַיּוֹצֵר יַחַד לִבָּם, הַמֵּבִין אֶל כָּל מַעֲשֵׂיהֶם. וּבֶחָג נִדּוֹנִין עַל הַמָּיִם:

(1) There are four new years:The first of Nisan is the new year for kings and for festivals. The first of Elul is the new year for the tithe of beasts. Rabbi Elazar and Rabbi Shimon say: the first of Tishri. The first of Tishri is the new year for years, for shmitta and jubilee years, for planting and for [tithe of] vegetables. The first of Shevat is the new year for trees, according to the words of Bet Shammai. Bet Hillel says: on the fifteenth of that month.

(2) At four set times the world is judged:On Pesah in respect to the produce. On Shavuot in respect to the fruit of the tree. On Rosh Hashanah all the people of the world pass before Him like a division of soldier [a numerus], as it says, “He who fashions the hearts of them all, who discerns all their doings” (Psalms 33:15). And on Sukkot they are judged in respect of rain.

(ג) אִישׁ֩ כִּֽי־יִדֹּ֨ר נֶ֜דֶר לַֽיהוָ֗ה אֽוֹ־הִשָּׁ֤בַע שְׁבֻעָה֙ לֶאְסֹ֤ר אִסָּר֙ עַל־נַפְשׁ֔וֹ לֹ֥א יַחֵ֖ל דְּבָר֑וֹ כְּכָל־הַיֹּצֵ֥א מִפִּ֖יו יַעֲשֶֽׂה׃
(3) If a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath imposing an obligation on himself, he shall not break his pledge; he must carry out all that has crossed his lips.
נדר. הָאוֹמֵר הֲרֵי עָלַי קוֹנָם שֶׁלֹּא אֹכַל אוֹ שֶׁלֹּא אֶעֱשֶׂה דָבָר פְּלוֹנִי; יָכוֹל אֲפִלּוּ נִשְׁבַּע שֶׁיֹּאכַל נְבֵלוֹת אֲנִי קוֹרֵא עָלָיו כְּכָל הַיֹּצֵא מִפִּיו יַעֲשֶׂה? תַּ"ל לאסר אסר — לֶאֱסֹר אֶת הַמֻּתָּר וְלֹא לְהַתִּיר אֶת הָאָסוּר (ספרי):

נדר A VOW — This is when one says, Behold, I take upon myself an obligation which is as sacred to me as an offering, that I will not eat, or that I will not do such-and-such a thing. — One might think that if he swears that he will eat the flesh of an animal which has not been slaughtered properly according to the rite that I may apply to him the text, “He shall do according to all that goeth forth from his mouth”! It, however, says, “[If he takes an oath] to forbid something to himself”, i.e., to forbid for himself something which is permissible to him — and not to make permissible that which is forbidden to him .

(ד) וְאִשָּׁ֕ה כִּֽי־תִדֹּ֥ר נֶ֖דֶר לַיהוָ֑ה וְאָסְרָ֥ה אִסָּ֛ר בְּבֵ֥ית אָבִ֖יהָ בִּנְעֻרֶֽיהָ׃ (ה) וְשָׁמַ֨ע אָבִ֜יהָ אֶת־נִדְרָ֗הּ וֶֽאֱסָרָהּ֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אָֽסְרָ֣ה עַל־נַפְשָׁ֔הּ וְהֶחֱרִ֥ישׁ לָ֖הּ אָבִ֑יהָ וְקָ֙מוּ֙ כָּל־נְדָרֶ֔יהָ וְכָל־אִסָּ֛ר אֲשֶׁר־אָסְרָ֥ה עַל־נַפְשָׁ֖הּ יָקֽוּם׃ (ו) וְאִם־הֵנִ֨יא אָבִ֣יהָ אֹתָהּ֮ בְּי֣וֹם שָׁמְעוֹ֒ כָּל־נְדָרֶ֗יהָ וֶֽאֱסָרֶ֛יהָ אֲשֶׁר־אָסְרָ֥ה עַל־נַפְשָׁ֖הּ לֹ֣א יָק֑וּם וַֽיהוָה֙ יִֽסְלַח־לָ֔הּ כִּי־הֵנִ֥יא אָבִ֖יהָ אֹתָֽהּ׃ (ז) וְאִם־הָי֤וֹ תִֽהְיֶה֙ לְאִ֔ישׁ וּנְדָרֶ֖יהָ עָלֶ֑יהָ א֚וֹ מִבְטָ֣א שְׂפָתֶ֔יהָ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אָסְרָ֖ה עַל־נַפְשָֽׁהּ׃ (ח) וְשָׁמַ֥ע אִישָׁ֛הּ בְּי֥וֹם שָׁמְע֖וֹ וְהֶחֱרִ֣ישׁ לָ֑הּ וְקָ֣מוּ נְדָרֶ֗יהָ וֶֽאֱסָרֶ֛הָ אֲשֶׁר־אָסְרָ֥ה עַל־נַפְשָׁ֖הּ יָקֻֽמוּ׃ (ט) וְ֠אִם בְּי֨וֹם שְׁמֹ֣עַ אִישָׁהּ֮ יָנִ֣יא אוֹתָהּ֒ וְהֵפֵ֗ר אֶת־נִדְרָהּ֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עָלֶ֔יהָ וְאֵת֙ מִבְטָ֣א שְׂפָתֶ֔יהָ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אָסְרָ֖ה עַל־נַפְשָׁ֑הּ וַיהוָ֖ה יִֽסְלַֽח־לָֽהּ׃ (י) וְנֵ֥דֶר אַלְמָנָ֖ה וּגְרוּשָׁ֑ה כֹּ֛ל אֲשֶׁר־אָסְרָ֥ה עַל־נַפְשָׁ֖הּ יָק֥וּם עָלֶֽי

(4) If a woman makes a vow to the LORD or assumes an obligation while still in her father’s household by reason of her youth, (5) and her father learns of her vow or her self-imposed obligation and offers no objection, all her vows shall stand and every self-imposed obligation shall stand. (6) But if her father restrains her on the day he finds out, none of her vows or self-imposed obligations shall stand; and the LORD will forgive her, since her father restrained her. (7) If she should marry while her vow or the commitment to which she bound herself is still in force, (8) and her husband learns of it and offers no objection on the day he finds out, her vows shall stand and her self-imposed obligations shall stand. (9) But if her husband restrains her on the day that he learns of it, he thereby annuls her vow which was in force or the commitment to which she bound herself; and the LORD will forgive her.— (10) The vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, however, whatever she has imposed on herself, shall be binding upon her.—

דתניא טוב אשר לא תדור וגו' (קהלת ה) טוב מזה ומזה שאינו נודר כל עיקר דברי רבי מאיר רבי יהודה אומר טוב מזה ומזה נודר ומשלם
This is as it is taught in a baraita with regard to the verse “Better that you should not vow, than that you should vow and not pay” (Ecclesiastes 5:4), that better than both this and that is one who does not take a vow at all. This is the statement of Rabbi Meir. Rabbi Yehuda says: Better than both this and that is one who vows and pays. Consequently, Rabbi Meir advocates abstaining from all vows and Rabbi Yehuda advocates making vows and fulfilling them, but neither of them distinguishes between vows and gift offerings. The mishna, however, indicates that virtuous people do not make vows but do bring gift offerings.

(א) אַל תְּהִי רָגִיל בִּנְדָרִים. כָּל הַנּוֹדֵר, כְּאִלּוּ בּוֹנֶה בָּמָה בִּשְׁעַת אִסּוּר הַבָּמוֹת. וְהַמְקַיְמוֹ, כְּאִלּוּ הִקְרִיב עָלֶיהָ קָרְבָּן, שֶׁחַיָּב מִשּׁוּם שְׁחוּטֵי חוּץ, כִּי טוֹב יוֹתֵר שֶׁיִּשְׁאַל עַל נִדְרוֹ וְיַתִּירוּ לוֹ. וַהֲנֵּי מִלֵּי בִּשְׁאָר נְדָרִים. אֲבָל נִדְרֵי הֶקְדֵּשׁ, מִצְוָה לְקַיְמָן, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר נְדָרַי לַה' אֲשַׁלֵּם. וְלֹא יִשְׁאַל עָלָיו אֶלָּא בִּשְׁעַת הַדְּחָק (ר"ג, ר"ל).

(ב) וְכֵן יִתְרַחֵק מִן הַשְּׁבוּעָה. אֲבָל אִם עָבַר וְנִשְׁבַּע עַל אֵיזֶה דָּבָר, לֹא יִשְׁאַל עָלָיו אֶלָּא יַעֲמוֹד בִּשְׁבוּעָתוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהוּא מִצְטַעֵר, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, נִשְׁבַּע לְהָרַע וְלֹא יָמִיר. וּכְתִיב אַחֲרָיו, עוֹשֵֹה אֵלֶּה לֹא יִמּוֹט לְעוֹלָם. וְאֵין נִשְׁאֲלִין עַל הַשְּׁבוּעָה אֶלָא בִּשְׁעַת הַדְּחַק (ר"ג ר"ל).

(ג) צָרִיךְ לִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא יִדֹּוֹר שׁוּם דָּבָר. וַאֲפִלּו לִצְדָקָה אֵין טוֹב לִדּוֹר, אֶלָּא אִם יֵשׁ לוֹ בְּיָדוֹ מַה שֶּׁהוּא רוֹצֶה לִתֵּן, יִתֵּן מִיָּד. וְאִם אֵין לוֹ, יַמְתִּין עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לוֹ וְיִתֵּן בְּלֹא נֵדֶר. וְאִם פּוֹסְקִים צְדָקָה, וְצָרִיךְ לִפְסוֹק עִמָּהֶם, יֹאמַר בְּפֵרוּשׁ, שֶׁהוּא פּוֹסֵק בְּלִי נֵדֶר. וְכֵן כְּשֶׁמַּזְכִּירִין נְשָׁמוֹת, שֶׁנּוֹדְרִין לִצְדָקָה, יֵשׁ לוֹמַר בְּלִי נֵדֶר (וְעַיֵּן לְעֵיל סִימָן ט). אִם הוּא בְּעֵת צָרָה, מֻתָּר לוֹ לִנְדּוֹר.

(ד) אִם דַּעְתוֹ לִקְבֹּעַ לוֹ אֵיזֶה לִמּוּד בַּתּוֹרָה אוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹת אֵיזֶה מִצְוָה, וְהוּא יָרֵא פֶּן יִתְרַשֵּׁל אַחַר כָּךְ, אוֹ שֶׁהוּא מִתְיָרֵא פֶּן יַסִּיתֵהוּ הַיֵּצֶר לַעֲשׂוֹת אֵיזֶה אִסּוּר אוֹ לְמָנְעוֹ מִלַּעֲשׂוֹת אֵיזֹה מִצְוָה, מֻתָּר לוֹ לִזְרוּזֵי נַפְשֵׁה בְּנֶדֶר אוֹ בִּשְׁבוּעָה, דְאָמַר רַב, מִנַּיִן שֶׁנִּשְׁבָּעִין לְקַיֵּם אֶת הַמִצְוָה לְזָרֵז אֶת עַצְמוֹ אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהוּא מֻשְׁבָּע וְעוֹמֵד מֵהַר סִינַי, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, נִשְׁבַּעְתִּי וַאֲקַיֵמָה לִשְׁמֹר מִשְׁפְּטֵי צִדְקֶךָ. וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם לֹא אָמַר בִּלְשׁוֹן נֶדֶר אוֹ שְׁבוּעָה, אֶלָּא בְּדִבּוּר בְּעָלְמָא, הֲוֵי נֶדֶר וּמְחֻיָּב לְקַיֵּם. וְלָכֵן צָרִיךְ הָאָדָם לִזָּהֵר כְּשֶׁהוּא אוֹמֵר שֶׁיַעֲשֶׂה אֵיזֶה דְּבַר מִצְוָה, שֶׁיֹּאמַר בְּלִי נֵדֶר. וְטוֹב שֶׁיַרְגִּיל הָאָדָם אֶת עַצְמוֹ כֵּן, אֲפִלּוּ בְּאָמְרוֹ לַעֲשׁוֹת דְּבַר רְשׁוּת, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יִכָּשֵׁל, חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, בַּעֲוֹן נְדָרִים.

(ה) מִי שֶׁנּוֹדֵר נְדָרִים כְּדֵי לְתַקֵּן מִדּוֹתָיו, הֲרֵי זֶה זָרִיז וּמְשֻׁבָּח. כֵּיצַד. הֲרֵי שֶׁהָיָה זוֹלֵל, וְנָדַר שֶׁלֹּא יֹאכַל בָּשָׂר אֵיזֶה זְמָן, אוֹ שֶׁהָיָה שׁוֹגֶה בְּיַיִן, וְאָסַר עָלָיו אֶת הַיַּיִן וּשְׁאָר מַשְׁקִין הַמְשַׁכְּרִין וְכֵן מִי שֶׁהָיָה מִתְגָּאֶה בְּיָפְיוֹ וְקִבֵּל עָלָיו נְזִירוּת וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָזֶה, נְדָרִים כָּאֵלּוּ, הֵמָּה עֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שְׁמוֹ, וְעַל אֵלּוּ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה, נְדָרִים סְיָג לִפְרִישׁוּת. וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם גַּם בִּנְדָרִים כָּאֵלּוּ אֵין לוֹ לָאָדָם לְהַרְגִּיל אֶת עַצְמוֹ, אֶלָּא יֵשׁ לוֹ לְהִתְגַבֵּר עַל יִצְרוֹ גַּם בְּלֹא נְדָרִים (ר"ג).

(ו) אֵין הַנֵּדֶר חָל אֶלָּא אִם הָיָה פִּיו וְלִבּוֹ שָׁוִים. אֲבָל אִם נָדַר בְּטָעוּת, שֶׁלֹּא הָיָה דַּעְתּוֹ כְּמוֹ שֶׁהוֹצִיא בִּשְׂפָתָיו, אוֹ שֶׁהִרְהֵר בְּלִבּוֹ נֶדֶר וְלֹא הוֹצִיאוֹ בִּשְׂפָתָיו, אֵין זֶה נֵדֶר.

(1) Do not form the habit of making vows.

Whoever makes a vow, [it is considered] as if he built an altar at a time that [private] altars were prohibited.1Just as one who sets up his own altar assumes that he is performing the will of God beyond the call of duty, so too, one who vows to prohibit on himself that which is permissible is under the same mistaken impression.

One who fulfills such a vow is considered as though he had offered a sacrifice upon it, which makes him guilty of shechutei chutz.2The prohibition of slaughtering sacrifices outside the Bais Hamikdash. Rather it is preferable that you request absolution from your vow3

One who makes a vow may petition the Beis Din (Court) to absolve him of his vow. This is usually based on his claim that had he been aware of certain consequences he never would have made the vow in the first place. If the Beis Din (Court) agrees, it may absolve him. and that the Beis Din (Court) nullify it for you. This applies only to ordinary vows, but vows made to the sanctuary4I.e. vows to donate to worthy causes. are meritorious to fulfill, for it is said: "I will fulfill my vows to Hashem,"5Psalms 116: 14. and one should not attempt to annul these vows unless the need is great.

(3) You should take care not to make any vows. It is best not to make vows even for charity. Rather, if you possess that which you wish to donate, give it immediately.7Rather than obligate yourself through a promise. If you do not have [what to donate], then wait until you have and give without making a vow. If people are making commitments to charity and you must join them, you should explicitly state that you are committing without a vow.

At a time of great distress, it is permitted to make a vow.

(4) If you resolve to set for yourself [a time] for the study of Torah or to perform any mitzvah, and are concerned that you will neglect to do so later; or if you are concerned that your [evil] inclination might induce you to do something which is forbidden or prevent you from doing a mitzvah, you may quicken your resolve by means of a vow or an oath, for Rav said:9

Even if you did not declare your intention in the form of a vow or an oath, but even a simple declaration constitutes a vow and obligates you to fulfill it. Therefore, you must be careful when saying that you will perform any mitzvah to say: "[I will do so] but I am not making a vow." It is worthwhile to develop this habit, even when planning on doing something mundane so that you will not transgress the violation of vows.

(5) One who makes vows in order to improve his character is considered diligent and praiseworthy. These are examples: A glutton vows to abstain from eating meat for a certain time, or if he was overindulgent in wine he vows to abstain from wine and other intoxicating beverages. These vows are for the service of God, blessed be His Name, and regarding these situations our Sages said: "Vows are a protective fence for abstinence."12Ethics of the Fathers Chapt. 3, Mishnah 17. Nevertheless, a person should not make it habitual even regarding vows of such nature, but should strive to conquer his vices even without resorting to vows.

(6) A vow is not valid unless the "mouth and heart were as one."13I.e. you meant what you said. But if you vowed mistakenly [that is,] your intention was not the same as the utterance of your lips, or if you only thought of making a vow, but did not utter it with your lips, this is not [considered] a vow.