“They cast a pur, that is the lot.” A Tanna taught: When the lot fell on the month of Adar, he rejoiced greatly saying: The lot has fallen for me on the month in which Moses died. He did not know, however, that Moses died on the seventh of Adar and was born on the seventh of Adar.
ובשבעה באדר נולד - דכתיב בן מאה ועשרים שנה אנכי היום (דברים לא) היום מלאו ימי ושנותי כדאי הלידה שתכפר על המיתה:
And on the seventh of Adar he was born - As it is written, "I am 120 years old today" (Devarim 31) - today my days and years are filled. Birth is sufficiently weighty to atone for death.
(א) כל הצלמים אסורים, מפני שהן נעבדין פעם אחת בשנה, דברי רבי מאיר. וחכמים אומרים, אינו אסור אלא כל שיש בידו מקל או צפור או כדור. רבן שמעון בן גמליאל אומר, כל שיש בידו כל דבר.
(1) All images are prohibited, because each one is worshiped once a year, according to Rabbi Meir. But the Sages say: Only that which has in its hand a stick, or a bird, or an orb is prohibited. Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel says: Any that has anything in its hand [is prohibited].
(ה) יוֹם שֶׁמִּתְכַּנְּסִין בּוֹ עוֹבְדֵי כּוֹכָבִים לְהַעֲמִיד לָהֶן מֶלֶךְ וּמַקְרִיבִין וּמְקַלְּסִים לֵאלֹהֵיהֶם יוֹם חַגָּם הוּא וַהֲרֵי הוּא כִּשְׁאָר חַגֵּיהֶם אֲבָל עוֹבֵד כּוֹכָבִים שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה הוּא חַג לְעַצְמוֹ וּמוֹדֶה לְכוֹכָב שֶׁלּוֹ וּמְקַלְּסוֹ בְּיוֹם שֶׁנּוֹלַד בּוֹ וְיוֹם תִּגְלַחַת זְקָנוֹ אוֹ בְּלוֹרִיתוֹ וְיוֹם שֶׁעָלָה בּוֹ מִן הַיָּם וְשֶׁיָּצָא מִבֵּית הָאֲסוּרִים וְיוֹם שֶׁעָשָׂה בּוֹ מִשְׁתֶּה לִבְנוֹ וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּאֵלּוּ אֵינוֹ אָסוּר אֶלָּא אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם וְאוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ בִּלְבַד. וְכֵן יוֹם שֶׁיָּמוּת לָהֶן בּוֹ מֵת וְיַעֲשׂוּהוּ חַג אוֹתָם הָעוֹשִׂים אֲסוּרִין אוֹתוֹ הַיּוֹם. וְכָל מִיתָה שֶׁשּׂוֹרְפִין בָּהּ כֵּלִים וּמְקַטְּרִים קְטֹרֶת בְּיָדוּעַ שֶׁיֵּשׁ בָּהּ עֲבוֹדַת כּוֹכָבִים. אֵין יוֹם הֶחָג אָסוּר אֶלָּא לְעוֹבְדֶיהָ בִּלְבַד. אֲבָל אוֹתָם שֶׁשְּׂמֵחִים בּוֹ וְאוֹכְלִין וְשׁוֹתִין וּמְשַׁמְּרִין אוֹתוֹ מִפְּנֵי מִנְהָג אוֹ מִפְּנֵי כְּבוֹד הַמֶּלֶךְ אֲבָל הֵם אֵין מוֹדִין בּוֹ הֲרֵי אֵלּוּ מֻתָּרִין לָשֵׂאת וְלָתֵת עִמָּהֶן:
(5) The day on which the idolators gather together to crown a king and offer sacrifice and praise to their false deities is considered to be one of their holidays, since it is comparable to their other holidays. In contrast, on a day which is celebrated by an individual idolator as a festival on which he gives thanks and praise to the star he [worships] - for example, his birthday, the day on which he shaves his beard or hair, the day on which he returns from a sea-voyage, the day on which he leaves prison, the day on which he makes a [wedding] feast for his son, and the like - it is forbidden [to do business] on that particular day only with that individual man.
Similarly, when [it is customary] that the day on which one of them dies is marked with festivities, it is forbidden [to do business] with those individuals on that day. Whenever [a person's] death is marked by the burning of his utensils and the offering of incense, we can assume that idol worship is [involved in the ritual].
The [above] prohibition applies only to those who worship [the false deity]. In contrast, it is permitted to do business with those who join in the celebrations by eating, drinking, and observing it as a matter of custom or in deference to the king.
שו"ת אגרות משה אורח חיים א:קד
אבל אין זה שום ענין וסמך להחשיב זה דבר מצוה וסעודת מצוה, כי הוא רק כשמחה של יום הולדת בעלמא.
Responsa Igrot Moshe O.C. 1:104
However, there is no notion and allusion to consider this as a mitzvah and joyous meal, for it is like the joy of a mere birthday.
שו"ת אפרקסתא דעניא חלק א סימן קכג
ואגב אזכיר מה שמצאתי בכתבי מו"ח הגה"צ ז"ל בשם החת"ס ז"ל דאין לישראל לחוג יום מולדתו, כ"א את יום שנכנס בבריתו של אאע"ה, ועי' בספרו תורת משה פ' וירא ע"פ ביום הגמל.
Responsa Afarskea De'anya 1:123
As an aside I shall mention that which I found written in the writings of my teacher and father-in-law, the great righteous one, in the name of the Hatam Sofer, that a Jew ought not celebrate the day of his birthday but the day he entered into the covenant of Avraham. See his book Torat Moshe Parshat Vayera on the verse "on the day that [Isaac] was weaned."
Rabbi Bejamin Blech
Next week is my birthday, but I won’t be celebrating.
It’s not because I’m not sentimental. And it’s definitely not because I don’t like parties.
It’s because a few years ago I noticed something remarkable in the Torah that made me rethink the whole idea of giving special significance to the day I was born.
There’s only one time in the entire Bible that we read about a birthday party. The guest of honor, who in all probability planned it for himself? Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, whose birthday bash we read about in the book of Genesis.
Aside from this non-Jewish leader, whose lifestyle certainly doesn’t deserve to be emulated by us, there isn’t a single mention of a birthday celebration by any one of our people.
Why the strange neglect of what we would think is a significant day worthy of celebrating and rejoicing? Another occasion that Jews do celebrate yields an answer.
On the anniversary of the day of death of a loved one, the yahrzeit, it is our custom to share food and drink with others. It is then, with the passage of time, that we can reflect upon all that was accomplished by our departed as well as the legacy of their achievements. We have a right – as well as an obligation – to celebrate a life that we can now in retrospect acknowledge as having been well lived.
But birthdays link us only to the day of birth. When we are born, we have as yet accomplished nothing. We have no more than potential, alive to face the challenges that will confront us but with no assurance that we will overcome them successfully.
“God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.”
Birthdays don’t really deserve applause because they commemorate nothing more than our first appearance on the stage of life. Voltaire put it well when he wrote, “God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” How we play our role is the great test of our character.
שכל טוב בראשית פרשת וישב פרק מ
יום הולדת [את] פרעה... רוב בני אדם מחבבים יום שהוא תשלום שנתן, שהוא כנגד אותו היום שנולד ושמחים בו ועושין בו משתה. אפס כי אנשי עיר הקודש אמרו כי הוא יום גנוסיא של מלכים, שמביאין ספר יחוסי המלכים וקוראין לפני פרעה.
Sechel Tova Bereishit Vayeshev Chap. 40
The day Pharoah was born... The majority of people love the day on which their year is complete, for it corresponds to the day on which they were born, and they rejoice and throw a party.
(5) On the day of our king the princes make him sick with the heat of wine, He stretches out his hand with scorners.
(ה) יום מלכנו . ר''ל ביום שמחת מלך ישראל כיום הלידה או יום המלכתו אז נעשו השרים חולים בעבור נאדות מהיין כי הרבו למלאותם לשתיה ונעשו חולים מרבוי השכרות:
(5) The day of our king. Meaning, on the day of a king's rejoicing, such as the day of birth or of his coronation. At that time the officers became ill from the wine flasks, for they filled them up too much for consumption and became ill from the quantity of drunkenness.
תלמוד ירושלמי ראש השנה פרק ג
ריב"ל אמר עמלק כושפן היה מה היה עושה היה מעמיד בני אדם ביום גינוסיא שלו לומר לא במהרה אדם נופל ביום גינוסיא שלו. מה עשה משה עירבב את המזלות.
Jerusalem Talmud Rosh Hashanah Ch. 3
Rabbi Joshua son of Levi said, Amalek was a sorcerer. What did he do? He would put up people [to fight] on their birthdays, as if to say, a person does not quickly fall on his birthday. What did Moses do? He mixed up the constellations.
תנחומא בא פרק ט
בט"ו בניסן נולד יצחק בט"ו בניסן נגאלו ממצרים, בט"ו בניסן עתידין להגאל משעבוד גליות.
Tanchuma Bo Chap. 9
On the fifteenth of Nissan Isaac was born, on the fifteenth of Nissan they were redeemed from Egypt, on the fifteenth of Nissan they will be redeemed from the exile.
When Rav Yosef turned sixty, he made a holiday for the rabbis, declaring "I am exempt from excision."
(כא) הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, בֶּן חָמֵשׁ שָׁנִים לַמִּקְרָא, בֶּן עֶשֶׂר לַמִּשְׁנָה, בֶּן שְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַמִּצְוֹת, בֶּן חֲמֵשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה לַתַּלְמוּד, בֶּן שְׁמוֹנֶה עֶשְׂרֵה לַחֻפָּה, בֶּן עֶשְׂרִים לִרְדּוֹף, בֶּן שְׁלשִׁים לַכֹּחַ, בֶּן אַרְבָּעִים לַבִּינָה, בֶּן חֲמִשִּׁים לָעֵצָה, בֶּן שִׁשִּׁים לַזִקְנָה, בֶּן שִׁבְעִים לַשֵּׂיבָה, בֶּן שְׁמוֹנִים לַגְּבוּרָה, בֶּן תִּשְׁעִים לָשׁוּחַ, בֶּן מֵאָה כְּאִלּוּ מֵת וְעָבַר וּבָטֵל מִן הָעוֹלָם:
(21) He [Yehudah ben Teima] used to say: Five years [is the age] for [the study of] Scripture, Ten [is the age] for [the study of] Mishnah, Thirteen [is the age] for [observing] commandments, Fifteen [is the age] for [the study of] Talmud, Eighteen [is the age] for the [wedding] canopy, Twenty [is the age] for pursuing [a livelihood], Thirty [is the age] for [full] strength, Forty [is the age] for understanding, Fifty [is the age] for [giving] counsel, Sixty [is the age] for mature age, Seventy [is the age] for a hoary head, Eighty [is a sign of superadded] strength, Ninety [is the age] for [a] bending [stature], A hundred, is [the age at which one is] as if dead, passed away, and ceased from the world.
שו"ת כתב סופר יורה דעה סימן קמח
הנה ברך לקחתי ליום מולדתי א' דר"ח אדר שהגעתי בעזה"י לשנת חמשים, והודיתי להשי"ת ברבים על שהחינו וקימנו לזמן הזה וברוך ית"ש הנותן ליעף כח ללמוד וללמד, כן יעזרני למען שמו ותורתו, עד זקנה ושיבה אל יעזבני ואל יטשני, ויהי' עמי כאשר היה עם אבותינו הקדושים זצ"ל להגדיל תורה ולהאדירה, ולגדור פרצי התורה אשר רבו בעו"ה...
ועשיתי ביום ההוא זה היום עשה ד' לי סיום למס' פסחים, ואמרתי ביום א דר"ח בע"מ וויען ברבים בסיום המסכתא.
Responsa Ktav Sofer 178
Behold, I have blessedly taken my birthday, the first day of Adar, on which I have reached the age of 50, and I have thanked God publicly for having enabled us to live, and sustained us to this time. And the Blessed One be He, who gives strength to the weak to learn and teach, may He assist me for His sake and that of His Torah, to old age that he not leave or abandon me. And may He be with me as He was with our holy fathers to increase Torah and glorify it, and to fence in the breaches of the Torah that have increased, due to our sins...
And on that day, the day God fashioned for me, I made a siyyum on Tractate Pesachim. And on the first of Rosh Chodesh Adar I delivered a public talk upon the tractate's completion.
שו"ת חוות יאיר סימן ע
סעודת בן שבעים שיש להסתפק אפילו זה הבן שבעים מברך שהחינו כי כך נ"ל.
Responsa Chavot Yair 70
The meal for one who turns 70, there is a doubt as to whether this individual recites "Shehechiyanu," for so it appears to me.
פרי מגדים אורח חיים משבצות זהב תמד
וסעודת בן שבעים שנה וכתב שם החות יאיר שמברך שהחיינו, וצ"ע.
Peri Megadim O.C. Mishbezot Zahav 444
And regarding the meal of one who is 70, the Chavot Yair wrote there that one recites Shehechiyanu, but the matter requires analysis.
בן איש חי (פר' ראה אות יז)
יש נוהגים לעשות את יום הלידה ליו"ט בכל שנה ושנה, וסימן יפה הוא וכן נוהגים בביתנו. ושמעתי שיש נוהגים לעשות סעודה ביום שנכנס בו בבריתו של אברהם אבינו בכל שנה ושנה ומנהג יפה הוא מאד, אך לא נהגנו בזה.
Ben Ish Chai (Re'eh 17)
Some have the practice to celebrate a birthday as a holiday every year; it is a fine symbol and such is the practice in our home. And I heard that some have the practice to make a meal on the day that one enters the circumcision of Avraham each year, and that is an extremely fine practice, although we do not personally have this practice.
R' Aryeh Leibowitz
Responsa Aparkasta D’anya (123) records that the Tiferes Yisrael insisted that his children write notes of mazal tov to each other on their birthdays. The custom to send a birthday card, while far from any form of halachic obligation or established custom, is a fine way to make others feel good about themselves, which is obviously a fulfillment of V’ahavta l’reacha kamocha. Sefer Hakatan V’hilchosav (chapter 84) writes that the Jews of Yerushalayim made a birthday celebration for their rabbi, Rav Shmuel Salant, in honor of his seventieth and eightieth birthdays respectively. As a form of celebration, Rav Salant sent the amount of coins corresponding to his age to tzedakah.
The K’sav Sofer also used his birthday as a time for personal reflection. Kuntros Ohel Leah (written by the son of the K’sav Sofer and printed at the beginning of K’sav Sofer al haTorah) records an incident when a student went to visit the K’sav Sofer and found him crying. The student asked his rebbe what the reason for his tears was, and the K’sav Sofer responded that it was his 54th birthday and he began to judge himself (dan, the Hebrew word for “judge” has a gematria of 54) and realized that he has not accomplished nearly as much as he should have in his 54 years in this world. He sensed that he was lacking in torah knowledge and righteousness, and was moved to tears by this realization.
