Introductory Story:
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Rav Steinsaltz and Rabbi Pinny Alouche were walking in central park in 2016.
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Suddenly, Rav steinsaltz stops to look at an American Elm tree and says to Pinny:
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Pinny, there are three types of people in the world
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There are those that will walk by a beautiful tree of God and not notice
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There are those that will walk by and say, what a beautiful tree God created
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And the third, and I want you to be this kind of person: there are those that see the tree and say, I want a piece of that tree in my garden. I want to take this tree with me.
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Rabbi Steinsaltz then proceeded to approach the tree and take a leaf
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We have an opportunity to make our Yamim Noraim very meaningful
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We are going to hear ideas tonight, you will sing ideas in the davening
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The ikar (main thing) is to take a leaf for yourself.
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Don't sit and admire and keep on walking
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Take a leaf that you can then plant in your own garden
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The goal is to take something from this shiur
We all know the what of RH:
RH is about Kingship, Accepting the yoke of Heaven, Day of Judgment, Rememberances, the Shofar. It's about purpose, 'justifying our existence' on humanities birthday. We were created on this day, what for?
What is the HOW?
Recently, I came across an article in OU's Jewish Action magazine. It caught my eye as the narrative took place in our very own Buffalo.
In my childhood, a half-century ago in Buffalo’s North Park neighborhood that served as a passage point between the East Side of Eastern European immigrants (mostly Orthodox) and the Amherst- Williamsville suburbs of the upwardly mobile (mostly Reform and Conservative children of the émigré generation), the Jews who chose to join a synagogue had a rich choice within easy walking distance.
[One of the many shuls was the:] Pine Street Shul, North Park’s only shteibel. It wasn’t on Pine Street. It was on Hertel Avenue, now the gentrified venue of a popular summer Italian Festival.
The shul’s claim to fame: Samuel Arluck, father of Wizard of Oz-composer Harold (nee Hyman) Arlen, was chazzan and choir director at the Pine Street Shul.
My grandfather died on the stairs of the shul two years before I was born.
When the neighborhood changed, the Pine Street Shul closed down, was sold to a church, and a new incarnation opened up several miles away on Hertel Avenue to serve the aging congregants who had relocated to North Buffalo. The Pine Street Shul’s new home was a converted, twostory wooden house.
My parents, during the years of my Bar Mitzvah training, belonged to the area’s major Conservative temple, but I occasionally set foot in the Pine Street Shul, usually on Rosh Hashanah. That’s where my grandmother davened, not that I knew the term daven in those days.
Goldie Finkelstein, from a shtetl in Western Belarus, a widow for two decades, was a typical member of the Pine Street Shul. A simple God-fearing woman who had crossed the ocean in 1904, she raised a family and kept her faith in Buffalo. Yiddish-speaking, kosher-keeping, sheitel-wearing, Mrs. Finkelstein walked the few blocks on the High Holy Days from her home on the second story of my parents’ house to the cramped building where her landsleit prayed. Occasionally, she invited me. I went with her a few times; curious, I guess.
My memories of those days are hazy.
[Nevertheless,] I remember the crying. Mainly, from the women’s section.
As I read the few words I understood and watched the old men in beards shuckling; I listened to the sound of unabashed, unrestrained sobbing from faces I couldn’t see. I always supposed that my grandmother was one of the lachrymose petitioners. It sounded like a funeral. Then, I didn’t understand. Now, I do.
The women were standing before God.
They were opening their hearts.
They weren’t reading words from a machzor; they were speaking from their souls.
They were confessing their sins and begging for Heavenly forgiveness.
Approaching the end of their lives, they were seeking health and longer days.
They were praying like a Jew should pray during the Days of Repentance.
But tefillah, especially on the holiest days of the year, is as eternal as the Creator to whom we offer our prayers. Why don’t we–why don’t I–feel the gravity of these days as our grandparents and their parents did?
When I stand in shul each Rosh Hashanah, I think of the Pine Street Shul. I keep in mind that the Gate of Tears never closes.
I think of Channah, the mother of the prophet Shmuel, whose cries serve as the model of our tefillot.
Think of the Arizal that teaches that wholeness is found in the broken.
But no matter how intensely I prepare for this period of introspection, no matter how many books of mussar I review, no matter what exercises of spiritual improvement I perform, no matter the litany of sins I admit with my lips and my heart, no matter my attempts in shul to imagine myself standing before The Judge, my eyes remain dry.
Still, I don’t bring myself to cry.
And that may be most deserving of tears.
Crying on RH, I can't recall if I've ever witnessed such a scene.
The Arizal said that if a person does not cry on Rosh HaShanah, it is a sign that his soul is in need of rectification.
Is crying really that important? Does entering my place of tears really matter?
A look at many of the narratives and liturgy surrounding Rosh Hashanah seem to indicate that it indeed is central to the High Holy Days.
- when you go through the machzor, it becomes clear that we are meant to go through a process.
- we enter one way and are meant to leave another
- The more I explored the machzor and also the concept of Teshuva, the more it stood out that the space of tears within serves as the modality towards the transformation of Rosh Hashanah, which is described as:
(ד) מִדַּרְכֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה לִהְיוֹת הַשָּׁב צוֹעֵק תָּמִיד לִפְנֵי הַשֵּׁם בִּבְכִי וּבְתַחֲנוּנִים וְעוֹשֶׂה צְדָקָה כְּפִי כֹּחוֹ וּמִתְרַחֵק הַרְבֵּה מִן הַדָּבָר שֶׁחָטָא בּוֹ וּמְשַׁנֶּה שְׁמוֹ כְּלוֹמַר אֲנִי אַחֵר וְאֵינִי אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ שֶׁעָשָׂה אוֹתָן הַמַּעֲשִׂים וּמְשַׁנֶּה מַעֲשָׂיו כֻּלָּן לְטוֹבָה וּלְדֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה וְגוֹלֶה מִמְּקוֹמוֹ. שֶׁגָּלוּת מְכַפֶּרֶת עָוֹן מִפְּנֵי שֶׁגּוֹרֶמֶת לוֹ לְהִכָּנַע וְלִהְיוֹת עָנָו וּשְׁפַל רוּחַ:
4 Among the paths of repentance is for the penitent to
a) constantly call out before God, crying and entreating;
b) to perform charity according to his potential;
c) to separate himself far from the object of his sin;
d) to change his name, as if to say "I am a different person and not the same one who sinned;"
e) to change his behavior in its entirety to the good and the path of righteousness; and
f) to travel in exile from his home. Exile atones for sin because it causes a person to be submissive, humble, and meek of spirit.
For Maimonides, crying tops the list in the path of Teshuva.
Rabbi Elazar says: Since the day the Temple was destroyed the gates of prayer were locked, and prayer is not accepted as it once was...Yet, despite the fact that the gates of prayer were locked with the destruction of the Temple, the gates of tears were not locked, and one who cries before God may rest assured that his prayers will be answered
Let's look at a number of examples in the liturgy of RH.
- Note the pattern as well. Every occasion of tears is followed by redemption, healing, revelation, resolution.
- there's a rupture of the heart in response to distress followed by redemption.
- The resolution comes immediately upon a breakage
(יד) וַיַּשְׁכֵּ֣ם אַבְרָהָ֣ם ׀ בַּבֹּ֡קֶר וַיִּֽקַּֽח־לֶחֶם֩ וְחֵ֨מַת מַ֜יִם וַיִּתֵּ֣ן אֶל־הָ֠גָר שָׂ֧ם עַל־שִׁכְמָ֛הּ וְאֶת־הַיֶּ֖לֶד וַֽיְשַׁלְּחֶ֑הָ וַתֵּ֣לֶךְ וַתֵּ֔תַע בְּמִדְבַּ֖ר בְּאֵ֥ר שָֽׁבַע׃ (טו) וַיִּכְל֥וּ הַמַּ֖יִם מִן־הַחֵ֑מֶת וַתַּשְׁלֵ֣ךְ אֶת־הַיֶּ֔לֶד תַּ֖חַת אַחַ֥ד הַשִּׂיחִֽם׃ (טז) וַתֵּלֶךְ֩ וַתֵּ֨שֶׁב לָ֜הּ מִנֶּ֗גֶד הַרְחֵק֙ כִּמְטַחֲוֵ֣י קֶ֔שֶׁת כִּ֣י אָֽמְרָ֔ה אַל־אֶרְאֶ֖ה בְּמ֣וֹת הַיָּ֑לֶד וַתֵּ֣שֶׁב מִנֶּ֔גֶד וַתִּשָּׂ֥א אֶת־קֹלָ֖הּ וַתֵּֽבְךְּ׃ (יז) וַיִּשְׁמַ֣ע אֱלֹקִים֮ אֶת־ק֣וֹל הַנַּעַר֒ וַיִּקְרָא֩ מַלְאַ֨ךְ אֱלֹקִ֤ים ׀ אֶל־הָגָר֙ מִן־הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וַיֹּ֥אמֶר לָ֖הּ מַה־לָּ֣ךְ הָגָ֑ר אַל־תִּ֣ירְאִ֔י כִּֽי־שָׁמַ֧ע אֱלֹקִ֛ים אֶל־ק֥וֹל הַנַּ֖עַר בַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר הוּא־שָֽׁם׃
(14) Early next morning Abraham took some bread and a skin of water, and gave them to Hagar. He placed them over her shoulder, together with the child, and sent her away. And she wandered about in the wilderness of Beer-sheba. (15) When the water was gone from the skin, she left the child under one of the bushes, (16) and went and sat down at a distance, a bowshot away; for she thought, “Let me not look on as the child dies.” And sitting thus afar, she burst into tears. (17) God heard the voice of the boy, and an angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Fear not, for God has heeded the cry of the boy where he is.
(י) וְהִ֖יא מָ֣רַת נָ֑פֶשׁ וַתִּתְפַּלֵּ֥ל עַל־ה' וּבָכֹ֥ה תִבְכֶּֽה׃ (יא) וַתִּדֹּ֨ר נֶ֜דֶר וַתֹּאמַ֗ר ה' צְבָא֜וֹת אִם־רָאֹ֥ה תִרְאֶ֣ה ׀ בָּעֳנִ֣י אֲמָתֶ֗ךָ וּזְכַרְתַּ֙נִי֙ וְלֹֽא־תִשְׁכַּ֣ח אֶת־אֲמָתֶ֔ךָ וְנָתַתָּ֥ה לַאֲמָתְךָ֖ זֶ֣רַע אֲנָשִׁ֑ים וּנְתַתִּ֤יו לַֽה' כָּל־יְמֵ֣י חַיָּ֔יו וּמוֹרָ֖ה לֹא־יַעֲלֶ֥ה עַל־רֹאשֽׁוֹ׃ (יב) וְהָיָה֙ כִּ֣י הִרְבְּתָ֔ה לְהִתְפַּלֵּ֖ל לִפְנֵ֣י ה' וְעֵלִ֖י שֹׁמֵ֥ר אֶת־פִּֽיהָ׃ (יג) וְחַנָּ֗ה הִ֚יא מְדַבֶּ֣רֶת עַל־לִבָּ֔הּ רַ֚ק שְׂפָתֶ֣יהָ נָּע֔וֹת וְקוֹלָ֖הּ לֹ֣א יִשָּׁמֵ֑עַ וַיַּחְשְׁבֶ֥הָ עֵלִ֖י לְשִׁכֹּרָֽה׃ (יד) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֵלֶ֙יהָ֙ עֵלִ֔י עַד־מָתַ֖י תִּשְׁתַּכָּרִ֑ין הָסִ֥ירִי אֶת־יֵינֵ֖ךְ מֵעָלָֽיִךְ׃ (טו) וַתַּ֨עַן חַנָּ֤ה וַתֹּ֙אמֶר֙ לֹ֣א אֲדֹנִ֔י אִשָּׁ֤ה קְשַׁת־ר֙וּחַ֙ אָנֹ֔כִי וְיַ֥יִן וְשֵׁכָ֖ר לֹ֣א שָׁתִ֑יתִי וָאֶשְׁפֹּ֥ךְ אֶת־נַפְשִׁ֖י לִפְנֵ֥י ה'׃ (טז) אַל־תִּתֵּן֙ אֶת־אֲמָ֣תְךָ֔ לִפְנֵ֖י בַּת־בְּלִיָּ֑עַל כִּֽי־מֵרֹ֥ב שִׂיחִ֛י וְכַעְסִ֖י דִּבַּ֥רְתִּי עַד־הֵֽנָּה׃ (יז) וַיַּ֧עַן עֵלִ֛י וַיֹּ֖אמֶר לְכִ֣י לְשָׁל֑וֹם וֵאלֹקֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל יִתֵּן֙ אֶת־שֵׁ֣לָתֵ֔ךְ אֲשֶׁ֥ר שָׁאַ֖לְתְּ מֵעִמּֽוֹ׃ (יח) וַתֹּ֕אמֶר תִּמְצָ֧א שִׁפְחָתְךָ֛ חֵ֖ן בְּעֵינֶ֑יךָ וַתֵּ֨לֶךְ הָאִשָּׁ֤ה לְדַרְכָּהּ֙ וַתֹּאכַ֔ל וּפָנֶ֥יהָ לֹא־הָיוּ־לָ֖הּ עֽוֹד׃
(10) In her souls bitterness, she prayed to the LORD, weeping all the while. (11) And she made this vow: “O LORD of Hosts, if You will look upon the suffering of Your maidservant and will remember me and not forget Your maidservant, and if You will grant Your maidservant a male child, I will dedicate him to the LORD for all the days of his life; and no razor shall ever touch his head.” (12) As she kept on praying before the LORD, Eli watched her mouth. (13) Now Hannah was praying in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice could not be heard. So Eli thought she was drunk. (14) Eli said to her, “How long will you make a drunken spectacle of yourself? Sober up!” (15) And Hannah replied, “Oh no, my lord! I am a very unhappy woman. I have drunk no wine or other strong drink, but I have been pouring out my heart to the LORD. (16) Do not take your maidservant for a worthless woman; I have only been speaking all this time out of my great anguish and distress.” (17) “Then go in peace,” said Eli, “and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of Him.” (18) She answered, “You are most kind to your handmaid.” So the woman left, and she ate, and was no longer downcast.
(ח) דָּבָר אַחֵר, אָמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק בְּשָׁעָה שֶׁבִּקֵּשׁ אַבְרָהָם לַעֲקֹד יִצְחָק בְּנוֹ, אָמַר לוֹ אַבָּא בָּחוּר אֲנִי וְחוֹשֵׁשַׁנִי שֶׁמָּא יִזְדַּעֲזַע גּוּפִי מִפַּחֲדָהּ שֶׁל סַכִּין וַאֲצַעֲרֶךָ, וְשֶׁמָּא תִּפָּסֵל הַשְּׁחִיטָה וְלֹא תַעֲלֶה לְךָ לְקָרְבָּן, אֶלָּא כָּפְתֵנִי יָפֶה יָפֶה, מִיָּד וַיַּעֲקֹד אֶת יִצְחָק, כְּלוּם יָכוֹל אָדָם לִכְפּוֹת בֶּן שְׁלשִׁים וָשֶׁבַע [נסח אחר: בן עשרים ושש שנה] אֶלָּא לְדַעְתּוֹ. מִיָּד וַיִּשְׁלַח אַבְרָהָם אֶת יָדוֹ, הוּא שׁוֹלֵחַ יָד לִטֹּל אֶת הַסַּכִּין וְעֵינָיו מוֹרִידוֹת דְמָעוֹת וְנוֹפְלוֹת דְּמָעוֹת לְעֵינָיו שֶׁל יִצְחָק מֵרַחֲמָנוּתוֹ שֶׁל אַבָּא, וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן הַלֵּב שָׂמֵחַ לַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹן יוֹצְרוֹ
(8) Rabbi Itzchak said, "At the time that Avraham sought to bind Itzchak, his son, [the latter] said to him, 'Father, I am a young man and I am concerned lest my body shake from fear of the knife and I will trouble you, and lest the slaughtering will be invalid and it will not be considered a sacrifice for you. Rather, tie me very well.' Immediately, ‘and he bound Itzchak.'
'And Avraham sent his hand.' He sends his hand to take the knife and his eyes brings down tears and the tears fall onto the eyes of Itzchak from the mercy of his father. And nonetheless, the heart was happy to do the will of his Maker.
וישמע אברהם את דברי יצחק, וישא אברהם את קולו ויבך בדבר יצחק הדברים האלה וירדו דמעות אברהם על יצחק בנו. וגם יצחק בכה מאוד ויאמר אל אביו, מהרה חושה אבי ועשה בי רצון ה׳ אלוקינו כאשר צוך. ויהי לב אברהם ויצחק שמח בדבר הזה אשר ציום ה׳, אך עין במר תבכה ולב שמח.
And when Abraham heard the words of Isaac he lifted up his voice and wept, so that his tears flowed down upon Isaac, his son, and Isaac, too, wept bitterly, and he said unto his father: Make haste, oh my father, and fulfill on me the will of the Lord our God as he hath commanded unto thee. And the hearts of both Abraham and Isaac were full of joy in doing the will of God, but their eyes wept bitterly while their hearts were rejoicing.
(ח) וכשבא אברהם מהר המוריה, חרה אפו של סמא״ל, שראה שלא עלתה בידו תאות לבו לבטל קרבנו של אברהם, מה עשה, הלך ואמ׳ לשרה, אי שרה, לא שמעת מה שנעשה בעולם, אמרה לו לאו, אמ׳ לה לקח אישך הזקן לנער יצחק והקריבו לעולה, והנער בוכה ומייליל שלא יכול להנצל, מיד התחילה בוכה ומייללת, בכתה שלש בכיות כנגד שלש תקיעות, שלש יללות כנגד שלש יבבות, ופרחה נשמתה ומתה.
(8) When Abraham returned from Mount Moriah in peace, the anger of Sammael was kindled, for he saw that the desire of his heart to frustrate the offering of our father Abraham had not been realized. What did he do? He went and said to Sarah: Hast thou not heard what has happened in the world? She said to him: No. He said to her: Thy husband, Abraham, has taken thy son Isaac and slain him and offered him up as a burnt offering upon the altar. She began to weep and to cry aloud three times, corresponding to the three sustained notes (of the Shophar), and (she gave forth) three howlings corresponding to the three disconnected short notes (of the Shophar), and her soul fled, and she died.
שֶׁחָזַר יִצְחָק אֵצֶל אִמּוֹ, וְאָמְרָה לוֹ אָן הָיִיתָ בְּרִי, אָמַר לָהּ נְטָלַנִּי אָבִי וְהֶעֱלַנִי הָרִים וְהוֹרִידַנִּי גְבָעוֹת וכו', אָמְרָה וַוי עַל בְּרִי דְרֵיוָתָא, אִלּוּלֵי הַמַּלְאָךְ כְּבָר הָיִיתָ שָׁחוּט, אָמַר לָהּ אִין. בְּאוֹתָהּ שָׁעָה צָוְחָה שִׁשָּׁה קוֹלוֹת כְּנֶגֶד שִׁשָּׁה תְּקִיעוֹת, אָמְרוּ לֹא הִסְפִּיקָה אֶת הַדָּבָר עַד שֶׁמֵּתָה,
Isaac returned to his mother and she said to him: ‘Where have you been, my son?’ Said he to her: ‘My father took me and led me up mountains and down hills,’ etc. ‘Alas,’ she said, ‘for the son of a hapless woman! Had it not been for the angel you would by now have been slain!’ ‘Yes,’ he said to her.
Thereupon she uttered six cries, corresponding to the six blasts of the shofar. It has been said: She had scarcely finished speaking when she died. Hence it is written, And Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her [translation from myjewishlearning.com]
[What is the resolution of the tears of Avraham and Sarah?
- It is the Akedat Yitzchak, branded into our collective consciousness.
- It is the merit of dedication to the Divine that sustains and strengthens us
- after this narrative, Sarah dies and aside from her burial, the story turns to Yitzchak, which means laughter.
- from these tears, emerges the joy and laughter that is Yitzchak. We read of the joy of finding Isaac's wife, Rivkah. ]
(ז) כִּי־כֹ֣ה ׀ אָמַ֣ר ה' רָנּ֤וּ לְיַֽעֲקֹב֙ שִׂמְחָ֔ה וְצַהֲל֖וּ בְּרֹ֣אשׁ הַגּוֹיִ֑ם הַשְׁמִ֤יעוּ הַֽלְלוּ֙ וְאִמְר֔וּ הוֹשַׁ֤ע ה' אֶֽת־עַמְּךָ֔ אֵ֖ת שְׁאֵרִ֥ית יִשְׂרָאֵֽל׃ (ח) הִנְנִי֩ מֵבִ֨יא אוֹתָ֜ם מֵאֶ֣רֶץ צָפ֗וֹן וְקִבַּצְתִּים֮ מִיַּרְכְּתֵי־אָרֶץ֒ בָּ֚ם עִוֵּ֣ר וּפִסֵּ֔חַ הָרָ֥ה וְיֹלֶ֖דֶת יַחְדָּ֑ו קָהָ֥ל גָּד֖וֹל יָשׁ֥וּבוּ הֵֽנָּה׃ (ט) בִּבְכִ֣י יָבֹ֗אוּ וּֽבְתַחֲנוּנִים֮ אֽוֹבִילֵם֒ אֽוֹלִיכֵם֙ אֶל־נַ֣חֲלֵי מַ֔יִם בְּדֶ֣רֶךְ יָשָׁ֔ר לֹ֥א יִכָּשְׁל֖וּ בָּ֑הּ כִּֽי־הָיִ֤יתִי לְיִשְׂרָאֵל֙ לְאָ֔ב וְאֶפְרַ֖יִם בְּכֹ֥רִי הֽוּא׃ (ס) (י) שִׁמְע֤וּ דְבַר־ה' גּוֹיִ֔ם וְהַגִּ֥ידוּ בָאִיִּ֖ים מִמֶּרְחָ֑ק וְאִמְר֗וּ מְזָרֵ֤ה יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ יְקַבְּצֶ֔נּוּ וּשְׁמָר֖וֹ כְּרֹעֶ֥ה עֶדְרֽוֹ׃ (יא) כִּֽי־פָדָ֥ה ה' אֶֽת־יַעֲקֹ֑ב וּגְאָל֕וֹ מִיַּ֖ד חָזָ֥ק מִמֶּֽנּוּ׃ (יב) וּבָאוּ֮ וְרִנְּנ֣וּ בִמְרוֹם־צִיּוֹן֒ וְנָהֲר֞וּ אֶל־ט֣וּב ה' עַל־דָּגָן֙ וְעַל־תִּירֹ֣שׁ וְעַל־יִצְהָ֔ר וְעַל־בְּנֵי־צֹ֖אן וּבָקָ֑ר וְהָיְתָ֤ה נַפְשָׁם֙ כְּגַ֣ן רָוֶ֔ה וְלֹא־יוֹסִ֥יפוּ לְדַאֲבָ֖ה עֽוֹד׃ (יג) אָ֣ז תִּשְׂמַ֤ח בְּתוּלָה֙ בְּמָח֔וֹל וּבַחֻרִ֥ים וּזְקֵנִ֖ים יַחְדָּ֑ו וְהָפַכְתִּ֨י אֶבְלָ֤ם לְשָׂשׂוֹן֙ וְנִ֣חַמְתִּ֔ים וְשִׂמַּחְתִּ֖ים מִיגוֹנָֽם׃ (יד) וְרִוֵּיתִ֛י נֶ֥פֶשׁ הַכֹּהֲנִ֖ים דָּ֑שֶׁן וְעַמִּ֛י אֶת־טוּבִ֥י יִשְׂבָּ֖עוּ נְאֻם־ה'׃ (ס) (טו) כֹּ֣ה ׀ אָמַ֣ר ה' ק֣וֹל בְּרָמָ֤ה נִשְׁמָע֙ נְהִי֙ בְּכִ֣י תַמְרוּרִ֔ים רָחֵ֖ל מְבַכָּ֣ה עַל־בָּנֶ֑יהָ מֵאֲנָ֛ה לְהִנָּחֵ֥ם עַל־בָּנֶ֖יהָ כִּ֥י אֵינֶֽנּוּ׃ (ס) (טז) כֹּ֣ה ׀ אָמַ֣ר ה' מִנְעִ֤י קוֹלֵךְ֙ מִבֶּ֔כִי וְעֵינַ֖יִךְ מִדִּמְעָ֑ה כִּי֩ יֵ֨שׁ שָׂכָ֤ר לִפְעֻלָּתֵךְ֙ נְאֻם־ה' וְשָׁ֖בוּ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ אוֹיֵֽב׃ (יז) וְיֵשׁ־תִּקְוָ֥ה לְאַחֲרִיתֵ֖ךְ נְאֻם־ה' וְשָׁ֥בוּ בָנִ֖ים לִגְבוּלָֽם׃ (ס)
(7) For thus said the LORD: Cry out in joy for Jacob, Shout at the crossroads of the nations! Sing aloud in praise, and say: Save, O LORD, Your people, The remnant of Israel. (8) I will bring them in from the northland, Gather them from the ends of the earth— The blind and the lame among them, Those with child and those in labor— In a vast throng they shall return here. (9) They shall come with weeping, And with compassion will I guide them. I will lead them to streams of water, By a level road where they will not stumble. For I am ever a Father to Israel, Ephraim is My first-born. (10) Hear the word of the LORD, O nations, And tell it in the isles afar. Say: He who scattered Israel will gather them, And will guard them as a shepherd his flock. (11) For the LORD will ransom Jacob, Redeem him from one too strong for him. (12) They shall come and shout on the heights of Zion, Radiant over the bounty of the LORD— Over new grain and wine and oil, And over sheep and cattle. They shall fare like a watered garden, They shall never languish again. (13) Then shall maidens dance gaily, Young men and old alike. I will turn their mourning to joy, I will comfort them and cheer them in their grief. (14) I will give the priests their fill of fatness, And My people shall enjoy My full bounty —declares the LORD. (15) Thus said the LORD: A cry is heard in Ramah— Wailing, bitter weeping— Rachel weeping for her children. She refuses to be comforted For her children, who are gone. (16) Thus said the LORD: Restrain your voice from weeping, Your eyes from shedding tears; For there is a reward for your labor —declares the LORD: They shall return from the enemy’s land. (17) And there is hope for your future —declares the LORD: Your children shall return to their country.
- below, a song by Idan Raichel based on these words in Yirmiyahu
בראש השנה יצא יוסף מבית האסורין
It was further taught in the baraita: On Rosh HaShana Joseph came out of prison.
Bereshit: 42:24, 43:30, 45:2, 14, 46:29, 50:1, 50:17
(ח) וַֽיִּקְרְא֥וּ בַסֵּ֛פֶר בְּתוֹרַ֥ת הָאֱלֹקִ֖ים מְפֹרָ֑שׁ וְשׂ֣וֹם שֶׂ֔כֶל וַיָּבִ֖ינוּ בַּמִּקְרָֽא׃ (ס) (ט) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר נְחֶמְיָ֣ה ה֣וּא הַתִּרְשָׁ֡תָא וְעֶזְרָ֣א הַכֹּהֵ֣ן ׀ הַסֹּפֵ֡ר וְהַלְוִיִּם֩ הַמְּבִינִ֨ים אֶת־הָעָ֜ם לְכָל־הָעָ֗ם הַיּ֤וֹם קָדֹֽשׁ־הוּא֙ לַה' אֱלֹקֵיכֶ֔ם אַל־תִּֽתְאַבְּל֖וּ וְאַל־תִּבְכּ֑וּ כִּ֤י בוֹכִים֙ כָּל־הָעָ֔ם כְּשָׁמְעָ֖ם אֶת־דִּבְרֵ֥י הַתּוֹרָֽה׃ (י) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָהֶ֡ם לְכוּ֩ אִכְל֨וּ מַשְׁמַנִּ֜ים וּשְׁת֣וּ מַֽמְתַקִּ֗ים וְשִׁלְח֤וּ מָנוֹת֙ לְאֵ֣ין נָכ֣וֹן ל֔וֹ כִּֽי־קָד֥וֹשׁ הַיּ֖וֹם לַאֲדֹנֵ֑ינוּ וְאַל־תֵּ֣עָצֵ֔בוּ כִּֽי־חֶדְוַ֥ת ה' הִ֥יא מָֽעֻזְּכֶֽם׃ (יא) וְהַלְוִיִּ֞ם מַחְשִׁ֤ים לְכָל־הָעָם֙ לֵאמֹ֣ר הַ֔סּוּ כִּ֥י הַיּ֖וֹם קָדֹ֑שׁ וְאַל־תֵּעָצֵֽבוּ׃ (יב) וַיֵּלְכ֨וּ כָל־הָעָ֜ם לֶאֱכֹ֤ל וְלִשְׁתּוֹת֙ וּלְשַׁלַּ֣ח מָנ֔וֹת וְלַעֲשׂ֖וֹת שִׂמְחָ֣ה גְדוֹלָ֑ה כִּ֤י הֵבִ֙ינוּ֙ בַּדְּבָרִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר הוֹדִ֖יעוּ לָהֶֽם׃ (ס)
(8) They read from the scroll of the Teaching of God, translating it and giving the sense; so they understood the reading. (9) Nehemiah the Tirshatha, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were explaining to the people said to all the people, “This day is holy to the LORD your God: you must not mourn or weep,” for all the people were weeping as they listened to the words of the Teaching. (10) He further said to them, “Go, eat choice foods and drink sweet drinks and send portions to whoever has nothing prepared, for the day is holy to our Lord. Do not be sad, for your rejoicing in the LORD is the source of your strength.” (11) The Levites were quieting the people, saying, “Hush, for the day is holy; do not be sad.” (12) Then all the people went to eat and drink and send portions and make great merriment, for they understood the things they were told.
- In all these instances, we find the tears and trauma of a mother, of a child, of a parent.
- We see the tears and distress of the Jews returning to the Land of Israel and realizing how far they've fallen, how lost they've become, disconnecting from their true selves. That is worthy of tears.
But it is precisely their tears that makes them worthy vessels, recepticles to recieve the joy of the Holiday. It's from the tears that there's a process of healing, transformation, redemption.
[That's all God wants. Yes, change and self improvement will be need to follow, that's leading up to Yom Kippur where we focus on sins. But, for real change to follow, requires a plowing and turning over the hardness of our hearts.]
- The beauty of this is that, we don't only have this as a theme, but this theme is given a central place in Rosh Hashanah. The Shofar.
(א) וּבַחֹ֨דֶשׁ הַשְּׁבִיעִ֜י בְּאֶחָ֣ד לַחֹ֗דֶשׁ מִֽקְרָא־קֹ֙דֶשׁ֙ יִהְיֶ֣ה לָכֶ֔ם כָּל־מְלֶ֥אכֶת עֲבֹדָ֖ה לֹ֣א תַעֲשׂ֑וּ י֥וֹם תְּרוּעָ֖ה יִהְיֶ֥ה לָכֶֽם׃
(1) In the seventh month, on the first day of the month, you shall observe a sacred occasion: you shall not work at your occupations. You shall observe it as a day of terua for yourselves.
(במדבר כט, א) יום תרועה יהיה לכם ומתרגמינן יום יבבא יהא לכון וכתיב באימיה דסיסרא (שופטים ה, כח) בעד החלון נשקפה ותיבב אם סיסרא מר סבר גנוחי גנח ומר סבר ילולי יליל
“It is a day of sounding [terua] the shofar to you” (Numbers 29:1), and we translate this verse in Aramaic as: It is a day of yevava/crying/wailing to you.
And to define a yevava, the Gemara quotes a verse that is written about the mother of Sisera: “Through the window she looked forth and wailed [vateyabev], the mother of Sisera” (Judges 5:28).
One Sage, the tanna of the baraita, holds that this means moanings, broken sighs, as in the blasts called shevarim. And one Sage, the tanna of the mishna, holds that it means whimpers, as in the short blasts called teruot.
וּבְיַרְחָא שְׁבִיעָאָה בְּחַד לְיַרְחָא מְעָרַע קַדִּישׁ יְהֵי לְכוֹן כָּל עִבִידַת פָּלְחַן לָא תַעְבְּדוּן יוֹם יַבָּבָא יְהֵי לְכוֹן:
ספר הערוך
כנגד מאה פעיות דפעיא אימיה דסיסרא, כך קיבלתי
The Aruch
I've received that we blow 100 shofar blasts to correlate to the 100 cries of the mother of Sisera
[note: perhaps the "redemption" of the cries of Sisera is the blowing of the Shofar. We redeem her 100 cries and leave the last, 1, cry, which is the pure cry of a mother. [Eliyahu Kitov notes that there are 101 letters in the account of Sisera's mother in the Book of Judges. By blowing only 100 times, Ashkenazi Jews counteract all but one cry, leaving that to the natural emotion of a mother weeping over her son. However, the Sephardic tradition is to blow an additional blast before the end of the Rosh Hashana morning service.
- perhaps the result of that one pure cry, is that her descendent learned Torah in Bnei Brak, none other than the great Rabbi Akiva.]
We have the mitzvah to hear the shofar. The body of the shofar- just to hear. But wha'ts the soul experience of the Shofar.
Maimonides- it's an inner transformaiton. wake up from our slumber' (Laws of Teshuva, 3:4).
so we are meant to hear the sound of the shofar which is meant to penetrate into your specific wavelength of tears.
it's meant to reverberate with the deepest parts of ourselves.
It is meant to transport us into a place, where tears can emerge.
But the Shofar also has a visual element which depicts it.
And if the Shofar is a cry, it visually depicts the process we are meant to go through.
You can meditate on this during the shofar blasts- We enter this narrow space, our own narrowness, our own constrictions, our own place of tears, and we emerge renewed, refreshed, re-energized.
My friends, this is not a part of Rosh Hashana. This is Rosh Hashana. It is the soul of the physical mitzvah of Shofar.
It is as if the Shofar is saying, enter me, and emerge a new person.
Our task on Rosh Hashana is to allow ourselves to be moved, permit ourselves to be touched, to enter our 'place of tears'
Doesn't literally mean have to cry.
It means you are touched to the core. Usually and often, this can lead to tears.
But it's not the tears, it's the way the person is touched.
לב=בכי=32
heart=crying=32
It's about allowing your heart to be moved, to explode, to rupture
Ours is an age which has forgotten how to cry. Whether at Rosh Hashanah services or Tish‘ah be-Av kinot, whether at a funeral or a theater, tears are conspicuous by their absence. Once upon a time, the mahzor was stained with tears; today, it is so white and clean—and cold. Not, unfortunately, that there is nothing to cry about. A generation which saw the finest of its sons and daughters destroyed in the most terrible massacre in recorded history; a generation which, the more it probes the heavens, the more it ignores the heart—a generation of this sort has much to cry about. How many people here today do not have their private woes, their secret sorrows?
I distinctly remember being in shul on Yom Kippur when I was a youngster, and when the chazzan repeated the line in the Shema Koleinu prayer—“Do not cast us away in our old age”—several women sitting in the front row of the women’s section burst into tears.
In fact, I would always hear very loud and audible cries on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur during various parts of the services while growing up.
For a child, it was a little scary the first time I encountered this, but when I got older, I realized these tears were an honest and necessary emotion of the High Holiday services. Today it seems to be different. Ours is an age in which we have forgotten how to cry. Tears are one of the most powerful, wordless ways we communicate our feelings to others, yet we generally keep our emotions firmly in check when we are in shul during the Yamim Noraim.
The Kotzker Rebbe said that when one needs to cry, and wants to cry, but cannot cry—that is the most heart-rending cry of all.
A Haggadah without wine stains is like a Rosh Hashanah machzor without tears
In Rabbi Israel Meir Lau’s remarkable autobiography, Out of the Depths, Lau mentions a young survivor after liberation who had lost his parents and who heard an older survivor address several hundred orphans in France. The young listener thanked the speaker for a gift: the ability to cry again. “When they took my father and mother, my eyes were dry. When they beat me mercilessly with their clubs, I bit my lips, but I didn’t cry. I haven’t cried for years, nor have I laughed. We starved, froze, and bled, but we didn’t cry.” This young man thought he had a stone for a heart. “Just now, he said, I cried freely. And I say to you, that whoever can cry today, can laugh tomorrow….
אורות התשובה 11 4
ירידה זו הלא יסוד העליה העליונה גנוז בה
Rav Kook - Orot HaTeshuva - 11:4
In the descent, is stored the foundation for a greater ascent.
but the power of crying, the power of our tears cannot be overstated. It's specifically our ability to enter such a space, that gives rise to the healing, oneness, the closure, the redemption, the most profound level of prayer and tefilla.
When we cry from the heart, someone listens. That’s the message of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah.
We are a hyper-verbal people. We talk, we argue, we pontificate, we deliver witty repartee and clever put downs. Jews may not always be great listeners but we are among the world’s great talkers. Accuse us of anything and we’ll come up with a dozen reasons why we’re right and you are wrong.
But there comes a moment when we summon the courage to be honest with ourselves. And if we really are honest with ourselves, then we know in our heart that we’re not perfect, we don’t always get it right, not as individuals and not as a people.
That’s the moment when all we can say is gevalt. All we can do is cry out. That’s what the shofar is. The sound of our tears. Shevarim, three sighs. Teruah, a series of sobs. And surrounding them the tekiah, the call without words. The sound of a heart breaking. No more excuses. No more rationalisations and justifications. Ribbono shel olam, forgive us.
Truth is, these are the most important moments in life. We can carry on for years deceiving ourselves, blaming others for what goes wrong. We are our own infallible counsel for the defence. But there has to be a time when we allow ourselves simply to weep for the things we know we could have handled better. That is what the shofar is: the cry that starts when words end. [it's impossible to describe how to access this, but it can be pointed to]
That’s when God reaches out to us, as parent to child, and holds us close while we weep together, then He comforts us and gives us the strength to begin again. There’s nothing closer to God than a broken heart and nothing stronger than a heart that’s been healed by God’s forgiveness.
I'd like to create a visual with you. Close your eyes, or just open your hearts. Think back to a moment of breakage, where you just let it go. You cried. You felt that helpnessness, that vulnerability.
I want you to give it an image. See where it happened. Hold onto that place, as if it exists in real time, as an object. Because this is the place you will want to return to.
אמר רבה אמר הקב"ה אמרו לפני בר"ה מלכיות זכרונות ושופרות
מלכיות כדי שתמליכוני עליכם
זכרונות כדי שיבא לפני זכרוניכם לטובה ובמה בשופר:
Rabba said that the Holy One, Blessed be He, said: Recite before Me on Rosh HaShana Kingship, Remembrances, and Shofarot.
[Pronounce verses of] Kingship, so that you will crown Me as King over you;
Remembrances, so that your remembrance will rise before Me for good.
And with what? With the shofar. Since these blessings constitute a single unit, one who did not recite them all has not fulfilled his obligation.
Malchuyot-the cry to God. It is the reaching beyond the abyss, to touch the eternal, to touch the other.
Zichronot- the processo of coming face to face with the truth of our existence- we live on a hair
Shofarot- the means, the natural cry that emerges from this state of awareness
(א) וּנְתַנֶּה תֹּקֶף קְדֻשַּׁת הַיּוֹם כִּי הוּא נוֹרָא וְאָיֹם וּבוֹ תִּנָּשֵׂא מַלְכוּתֶךָ וְיִכּוֹן בְּחֶסֶד כִּסְאֶךָ וְתֵשֵׁב עָלָיו בְּאֱמֶת
(ב) אֱמֶת כִּי אַתָּה הוּא דַּיָּן וּמוֹכִיחַ וְיוֹדֵעַ וָעֵד וְכוֹתֵב וְחוֹתֵם וְסוֹפֵר וּמוֹנֶה וְתִזְכֹּר כָּל הַנִּשְׁכָּחוֹת וְתִפְתַּח אֶת סֵפֶר הַזִּכְרוֹנוֹת וּמֵאֵלָיו יִקָּרֵא וְחוֹתָם יַד כָּל אָדָם בּוֹ
(ג) וּבְשׁוֹפָר גָּדוֹל יִתָּקַע וְקוֹל דְּמָמָה דַקָּה יִשָׁמַע וּמַלְאָכִים יֵחָפֵזוּן וְחִיל וּרְעָדָה יֹאחֵזוּן וְיֹאמְרוּ הִנֵּה יוֹם הַדִּין לִפְקֹד עַל צְבָא מָרוֹם בַּדִּין כִּי לֹא יִזְכּוּ בְּעֵינֶיךָ בַּדִּין וְכָל בָּאֵי עוֹלָם יַעַבְרוּן לְפָנֶיךָ כִּבְנֵי מָרוֹן כְּבַקָּרַת רוֹעֶה עֶדְרוֹ מַעֲבִיר צֹאנוֹ תַּחַת שִׁבְטוֹ כֵּן תַּעֲבִיר וְתִסְפֹּר וְתִמְנֶה וְתִפְקֹד נֶפֶשׁ כָּל חָי וְתַחְתֹּךְ קִצְבָה לְכָל בְּרִיָּה וְתִכְתֹּב אֶת גְּזַר דִּינָם
(ד) בְּרֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה יִכָּתֵבוּן, וּבְיוֹם צוֹם כִּפּוּר יֵחָתֵמוּן. כַּמָּה יַעַבְרוּן, וְכַמָּה יִבָּרֵאוּן, מִי יִחְיֶה, וּמִי יָמוּת, מִי בְקִצּוֹ, וּמִי לֹא בְּקִצּוֹ, מִי בַמַּיִם, וּמִי בָאֵשׁ, מִי בַחֶרֶב, וּמִי בַחַיָּה, מִי בָרָעָב, וּמִי בַצָּמָא, מִי בָרַעַשׁ, וּמִי בַמַּגֵּפָה, מִי בַחֲנִיקָה, וּמִי בַסְּקִילָה, מִי יָנוּחַ, וּמִי יָנוּעַ, מִי יִשָּׁקֵט, וּמִי יְטֹּרֵף, מִי יִשָּׁלֵו, וּמִי יִתְיַסָּר, מִי יַעֲנִי, וּמִי יַעֲשִׁיר, מִי יֻשְׁפַּל, וּמִי יָרוּם. וּתְשׁוּבָה וּתְפִלָּה וּצְדָקָה מַעֲבִירִין אֶת רֹעַ הַגְּזֵרָה.
(ה) כִּי כְּשִׁמְךָ כֵּן תְּהִלָּתֶךָ, קָשֶׁה לִכְעוֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, כִּי לֹא תַחְפֹּץ בְּמוֹת הַמֵּת, כִּי אִם בְּשׁוּבוֹ מִדַּרְכּוֹ וְחָיָה, וְעַד יוֹם מוֹתוֹ תְּחַכֶּה לוֹ, אִם יָשׁוּב מִיַּד תְּקַבְּלוֹ. (אֱמֶת) כִּי אַתָּה הוּא יוֹצְרָם וְיוֹדֵעַ יִצְרָם, כִּי הֵם בָּשָׂר וָדָם.
(ו) אָדָם יְסוֹדוֹ מֵעָפָר וְסוֹפוֹ לֶעָפָר. בְּנַפְשׁוֹ יָבִיא לַחְמוֹ. מָשׁוּל כְּחֶרֶס הַנִּשְׁבָּר, כְּחָצִיר יָבֵשׁ, וּכְצִיץ נוֹבֵל, כְּצֵל עוֹבֵר, וּכְעָנָן כָּלָה, וּכְרוּחַ נוֹשָׁבֶת, וּכְאָבָק פּוֹרֵחַ, וְכַחֲלוֹם יָעוּף. וְאַתָּה הוּא מֶלֶךְ אֵל חַי וְקַיָּם.
(1) We lend power to the holiness of this day. For it is tremendous and awe filled, and on it your kingship will be exalted, your throne will be established in loving-kindness, and you will sit on that throne in truth.
(2) It is true that you are the one who judges, and reproves, who knows all, and bears witness, who inscribes, and seals, who reckons and enumerates. You remember all that is forgotten. You open the book of records, and from it, all shall be read. In it lies each person's insignia.
(3) And with a great shofar it is sounded, and a thin silent voice shall be heard. And the angels shall be alarmed, and dread and fear shall seize them as they proclaim: behold! the Day of Judgment on which the hosts of heaven shall be judged, for they too shall not be judged blameless by you, and all creatures shall parade before you as a herd of sheep. As a shepherd herds his flock, directing his sheep to pass under his staff, so do you shall pass, count, and record the souls of all living, and decree a limit to each persons days, and inscribe their final judgment.
(4) On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed, and on Yom Kippur it is sealed - how many shall pass away and how many shall be born, who shall live and who shall die, who in good time, and who by an untimely death, who by water and who by fire, who by sword and who by wild beast, who by famine and who by thirst, who by earthquake and who by plague, who by strangulation and who by lapidation, who shall have rest and who wander, who shall be at peace and who pursued, who shall be serene and who tormented, who shall become impoverished and who wealthy, who shall be debased, and who exalted. But repentance, prayer and righteousness avert the severity of the decree.
(5) For your praise is just as your name. You are slow to anger and quick to be appeased. For you do not desire the death of the condemned, rather, that they turn from their path and live and you wait for them until the day of their death, and if they repent, you receive them immediately. (It is true -) [For] you are their Creator and You understand their inclination, for they are but flesh and blood.
(6) We come from dust, and return to dust. We labour by our lives for bread, we are like broken shards, like dry grass, and like a withered flower; like a passing shadow and a vanishing cloud, like a breeze that passes, like dust that scatters, like a fleeting dream.
[from the brokenness, the remembrances of who and what we are... we reach through abyss to God and declare:]
But You are the king who lives eternal.
The difference between life and death, hanging on a thread. What divides it is as thin as a hair- חוט השערה
if you've ever come face to face with your own or your dearest loved ones mortality, you know how frightening, how strong that feeling, that place over takes you. All moved to the waste side.
On RH, we come face to face with our own mortality. Our own loses, estrangement. It could be physical death, sometimes it could emotional, spiritual.
On RH, we contend with how much we stand to lose. How everything we know, can flip on a dime.
What brings us to tears- it's the same as what we saw in all the sources- the cry of your mother, the loss of a child, the pain of a child. And also, the loss of identity, of a sense of self.
[we conclude netaneh tokef with: But You are the king who lives eternal.
Because, from the brokenness, emerges wholeness as I attach myself, I redirect myself to my Creator- who encompasses and unifies all.
RH, the Ten Days and YK are meant to illicit these images in the hopes that we can truly enter this space of tears.
On Rosh Hashana, many have the custom to dress in white. Many wear a kittel. So too on Yom Kippur.
(ד) הגה ונוהגים שכל איש גדול או קטן עושין לו נר (מרדכי ומהרי"ו) גם נר נשמה לאביו ולאמו שמתו (כל בו)
יש שכתבו שנהגו ללבוש בגדים לבנים ונקיים ביוה"כ דוגמת מלאכי השרת וכן נוהגין ללבוש הקיטל שהוא לבן ונקי גם הוא בגד מתים ועי"ז לב האדם נכנע ונשבר (ד"ע מהגהות מיימוני פ"ז דשביתת עשור):
(4) 4. (Rema): And we are accustomed [o Yom Kippur] to light a Candle of a Soul (Ner Neshama) for a father or mother that has passed [Kol Bo].
There is a custom to... wear a Kittel (shroud) that is white and clean and also is a garment of the deceased, by this causing a man's heart to be subservient and broken [the Rema's own thoughts from the Haagos Maimoni Chapter 7 in Shevisas Asar].
On Yom Kippur, we "empty" the aron. The same aron, the word, means ark to hold a Torah, but it also means casket. coffin.
So the machzor aims to illicit our tears by evoking an awareness of our finitude, our smallness, our vulnerability.
This is not where the story ends. The act of crying is the beginning of transformation.
– the tears are with purpose.
From this place, we recite But You are the king who lives eternal.
We are saying- God, please, help me, help him, help her. Give us life. We are like a delicte flower in your hand.
I firmly believe that there will be a time over the holidays, if not on RH, perhaps over the Ten Days of Repentance and if not then, at some point on Yom Kippur.
You will be able to enter your minds eye, you will be able to enter your space, your place of "nothingness", picture it, hold up, have an image, see your heart bursting. At that moment the whole world moves into your peripherary. In it you're left, only with yourself, your ruptured heart.
This can happen anytime, This heightened state of awareness and consciousness, can be during a song in our tefillot, while you reflect on a walk, while you lie in bed. During the blast of the shofar, when we scream teshuva, tefilla, tzedaka remove the evil decrees
In this moment, says the Arizal, you are being judged. In that moment, you are that sheep moving past the sheppard.
The whole world vanishes and you stand in that moment, before your creator, exposed. You are moved uncontrollably.
When this moment comes, grab it. permit yourself to stay there, to be there.
It is this moment that you need to grab. Enter your minds eye, not alone. but with memories of your memories- zichronot
- your mother
- your fatther
- your children, think of their pains and anguish and challenges and failures. Feel them, see them.
- those closest to you
And perhaps, if you can, think of your own soul. How you yourself have fallen short. To admit uncomfortable truths about ourselves and our own accountability. Hatati – I am wrong. I have hurt someone. I am distant from God. I am far from someone I love. I am far from myself.
In this this sorrow, speak, cry, scream (even internally), weep. Who knows what will come out. But allow yourself to be there.
And the result my friends:
(ה) מִֽן־הַ֭מֵּצַ֥ר קָרָ֣אתִי יָּ֑-הּ עָנָ֖נִי בַמֶּרְחָ֣ב יָֽ-הּ׃
(6) Then the LORD your God will open up your heart and the hearts of your offspring to love the LORD your God with all your heart and soul, in order that you may live.
So on Rosh Hashanah:
- task: to go through the shofar
- to enter this space of the heart, your space of tears. into the abyss and reach through it. ...
to emerge transformed, healed, recovered as you direct your solitude towards your Creator. And in so doing, you become merged in a Divine wholeness, encompassing your entire existence.
- through your tears, you can build.
[world created on Tishrei on Nissan: Both have metzarim. Nissan is the narrowness we experiened in mitzrayim, the narrowness imposed, the pain and suffering we've felt. Tishrei is the narrowness we experience in our own lives.
(ה) הַזֹּרְעִ֥ים בְּדִמְעָ֗ה בְּרִנָּ֥ה יִקְצֹֽרוּ׃
(5) They who sow in tears shall reap with songs of joy.
On Rosh Hashana, we build with tears; we reap with tears; we rejoice with tears. Shana Tova everyone!