Responsibilities of Parents to Children

A bereita - a piece of rabbinic literature from the period of the Mishna (~200 BCE to 200 CE) that didn't "make it" into the Mishnah.

מצות שהאב חייב לעשות לבנו למולו לפדותו ללמדו תורה וללמדו אומנות להשיאו אשה

רבי עקיבה אומר אף ללמדו לשוט על פני המים

These are the mitzvot a father is obligated with regard to his son to circumcise him, and to redeem him if he is a firstborn son who must be redeemed by payment to a priest, and to teach him Torah, and to teach him a trade, and to marry him to a woman.

Rabbi Akiva says to teach him to swim.

Only men are obligated in positive time-bound commandments. This includes the reading of the Shema, blowing the shofar, sitting in the Sukkah and several other commandments. Note that the mishnah does not state that women are forbidden from fulfilling these commandments—it says only that they are not obligated to do so.

מצות שהאב חייב לעשות לבנו למולו לפדותו ללמדו תורה וללמדו אומנות להשיאו אשה

רבי עקיבה אומר אף ללמדו לשוט על פני המים למוהלו (ויקרא י״ב:ג׳)

ביום השמיני ימול בשר ערלתו לפדותו דכתיב (שמות י״ג:י״ג) וכל בכור אדם בבניך תפדה ללמדו תורה (דברים י״א:י״ט) ולמדתם אותם את בניכם ללמדו אומנות

תני רבי ישמעאל (דברים ל׳:י״ט) ובחרת בחיים זו אומנות להשיאו אשה (דברים ד׳:ט׳) והודעתם לבניך ולבני בניך אימתי אתה זוכה לבניך ולבני בניך בשעה שאת משיא את בניך קטנים

רבי עקיבה אומר אף לשוט על פני המים דכתיב (דברים ל׳:י״ט) למען תחיה אתה וזרעך.

These are the mitzvot a father is obligated with regard to his son to circumcise him, and to redeem him if he is a firstborn son who must be redeemed by payment to a priest, and to teach him Torah, and to teach him a trade, and to marry him to a woman.

Rabbi Akiva says to teach him to swim.

On the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised. (Leviticus 12:3), And you must redeem every first-born male among your children (Exodus 13:13) and teach them to your children (Deuteronomy 11:19), and teach your children to learn a trade.

Rabbi Ishmael teaches in regard to choose life (Deuteronomy 30:19), this is a trade and to marry a woman and make them known to your children and to your children’s children (Deuteronomy 4:9) When will you merit
having grandsons? Only when you marry your children off while they
are young.

Rabbi Akiva says also to swim on the face of the waters so you and your offspring will live (Deuteronomy 30:19).

תנינא להא דת"ר האב חייב בבנו למולו ולפדותו וללמדו תורה ולהשיאו אשה וללמדו אומנות וי"א אף להשיטו במים ​​​​​​​

The Gemara comments: According to this interpretation, we learn in this mishna that which the Sages taught in a baraita: A father is obligated with regard to his son to circumcise him, and to redeem him if he is a firstborn son who must be redeemed by payment to a priest, and to teach him Torah, and to marry him to a woman, and to teach him a trade. And some say: A father is also obligated to teach his son to swim.

ללמדו אומנות מנלן אמר חזקיה דאמר קרא (קהלת ט, ט) ראה חיים עם אשה אשר אהבת אם אשה ממש היא כשם שחייב להשיאו אשה כך חייב ללמדו אומנות אם תורה היא כשם שחייב ללמדו תורה כך חייב ללמדו אומנות

ויש אומרים אף להשיטו בנהר מאי טעמא חיותיה הוא

רבי יהודה אומר כל שאינו מלמדו אומנות מלמדו ליסטות ליסטות ס"ד אלא כאילו מלמדו ליסטות

The baraita further states that a father is commanded to teach his son a trade. The Gemara asks: From where do we derive this? Ḥizkiyya said: As the verse states: “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). If this verse is interpreted literally, and it is referring to an actual woman, then one can derive as follows: Just as a father is obligated to marry his son to a woman, so too, he is obligated to teach him a trade, as indicated by the term: Life. And if the wife mentioned in this verse is allegorical, and it is the Torah, then one should explain the verse in the following manner: Just as he is obligated to teach him Torah, so too, he is obligated to teach him a trade.

The baraita adds: And some say that a father is also obligated to teach his son to swim in a river. The Gemara asks: What is the reason for this? It is necessary for his life, i.e., this is potentially a lifesaving skill.

The baraita further teaches that Rabbi Yehuda says: Any father who does not teach his son a trade teaches him banditry. The Gemara asks: Can it enter your mind that he actually teaches him banditry? Rather, the baraita means that it is as though he taught him banditry.

(א) כִּי תָבֹאוּ אֶל אֶרֶץ מוֹשְׁבֹתֵיכֶם (במדבר טו, ב), הֲלָכָה, כַּמָּה דְבָרִים חַיָּב אָדָם לַעֲשׂוֹת לִבְנוֹ,

שָׁנוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ חֲמִשָּׁה דְבָרִים הָאָב חַיָּב לַעֲשׂוֹת לַבֵּן, הָאָב זֶה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, וְהַבֵּן אֵלּוּ יִשְׂרָאֵל, כְּשֵׁם שֶׁהָאָב חַיָּב לָמוּל אֶת בְּנוֹ, כֵּן עָשָׂה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיִשְׂרָאֵל, מָל אוֹתָם עַל יְדֵי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ (יהושע ה, ב): עֲשֵׂה לְךָ חַרְבוֹת צֻרִים.

הָאָב חַיָּב לִפְדוֹתוֹ, וְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא פָּדָה יִשְׂרָאֵל, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמואל ב ז, כג): לִפְדוֹת לוֹ לְעָם.

לְלַמְּדוֹ תּוֹרָה, הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לִמֵּד תּוֹרָה לְיִשְׂרָאֵל (דברים יא, יט): וְלִמַּדְתֶּם אֹתָם אֶת בְּנֵיכֶם, וּכְתִיב (ישעיה מח, יז): אֲנִי ה' אֱלֹהֶיךָ מְלַמֶּדְךָ לְהוֹעִיל.

לְלַמְּדוֹ מִצְווֹת, הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לִמֵּד אֶת הַמִּצְווֹת לְיִשְׂרָאֵל.

לְהַשִֹּׂיאוֹ אִשָּׁה, הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא אָמַר לָהֶם (בראשית א, כח): פְּרוּ וּרְבוּ.

הָאָב זָקוּק לִבְנוֹ לְהַאֲכִילוֹ וּלְהַשְׁקוֹתוֹ לְרָחֲצוֹ לָסוּכוֹ וּלְהַלְבִּישׁוֹ, וְכֵן עָשָׂה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיִשְׂרָאֵל (יחזקאל טז, ט י): וָאֶרְחָצֵךְ בַּמַּיִם וָאֶשְׁטֹף דָּמַיִךְ וגו' וָאַלְבִּשֵׁךְ רִקְמָה. (יחזקאל טז, יט): וְלַחְמִי אֲשֶׁר נָתַתִּי לָךְ. (במדבר כא, יז): עֲלִי בְּאֵר עֱנוּ לָהּ.

"When you come to the land of your dwellings": What is the halacha of how many things a person is obligated to do for his son?

Our rabbis taught: A person is obligated to do five things for his son. God can be compared to a father and the Jewish people to God's son. Just like a father is obligated to circumcise his son, God did so for the Jews by circumcising them by the hand of Yehoshua as it says (Joshua 5:2) "Make for yourself stone knives."

A father is obligated to redeem his son [if he is a firstborn] and God redeemed the Jews, as it says [II Samuel 7:23] "to redeem it as a nation."

[A father is obligated] to teach [his son] Torah, [and] God taught the Jews Torah as it says (Deuteronomy 11:19) "Teach them to your children" and it is written "I am God your teacher."

[A father is obligated] to teach [his son] mitzvot, [and] God taught the mitzvot to the Jews.

[A father is obligated] to marry [his son] to a woman, [and] God told mankind: "Be fruitful and multiply."

A father is obligated to his son [in the following ways]: to give him food and drink, to bathe him, to give him ointments, and to clothe him, and thus did God for the Jews, as it is written (Ezekiel 16:9) "And I washed you in water, and I washed away your blood...and I clothed you with embroidered clothing...and My bread which I gave you..." [and in Numbers 21:17] "Arise, o well, sing to it."

למולו מנלן דכתיב (בראשית כא, ד) וימל אברהם את יצחק בנו

והיכא דלא מהליה אבוה מיחייבי בי דינא למימהליה דכתיב (בראשית יז, י) המול לכם כל זכר והיכא דלא מהליה בי דינא מיחייב איהו למימהל נפשיה דכתיב (בראשית יז, יד)

וערל זכר אשר לא ימול את בשר ערלתו ונכרתה

§ The baraita teaches that a father is obligated to circumcise his son. The Gemara asks: From where do we derive this? The Gemara answers that this is as it is written: “And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac” (Genesis 21:4).

The Gemara comments: And in a case where one’s father did not circumcise him the court is obligated to circumcise him, i.e., if this obligation is not fulfilled by the father it applies to the community as a whole, as it is written: “Every male among you shall be circumcised” (Genesis 17:10), in the form of a general mitzva that does not apply only to the father.

And in a case where the court did not circumcise him the son is obligated to circumcise himself when he reaches adulthood, as it is written: “And the uncircumcised male, who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin, that soul shall be cut off from his people” (Genesis 17:14).