Middah of the Month: Menuchat Nefesh- Equanimity

(ח) וְהָיָ֞ה כְּעֵ֣ץ ׀ שָׁת֣וּל עַל־מַ֗יִם וְעַל־יוּבַל֙ יְשַׁלַּ֣ח שׇׁרָשָׁ֔יו וְלֹ֤א (ירא) [יִרְאֶה֙] כִּי־יָ֣בֹא חֹ֔ם וְהָיָ֥ה עָלֵ֖הוּ רַעֲנָ֑ן וּבִשְׁנַ֤ת בַּצֹּ֙רֶת֙ לֹ֣א יִדְאָ֔ג וְלֹ֥א יָמִ֖ישׁ מֵעֲשׂ֥וֹת פֶּֽרִי׃

Jeremiah 17:8

(8) He shall be like a tree planted by waters,
Sending forth its roots by a stream:
It does not sense the coming of heat,
Its leaves are ever fresh;
It has no care in a year of drought,
It does not cease to yield fruit.

We are in a moment of intense, unnerving uncertainty. And the only thing we know is --that we don’t know.
Given all of this, I think the question this year is not “What am I going to do with my one precious life” (with all due respect to the great Mary Oliver).

Rather it is: Who am I going to be in the face of whatever comes our way? Or perhaps even better yet, how are we doing to be in the face of whatever comes our way?
--Rabbi Lauren Grabelle Herrmann, Rosh HaShanah 5785 Kavannah (intention)

What is Menuchat Nefesh- Equanimity?

Jewish sources use several terms to name the soul-trait of undisturbed equanimity, the most descriptive of which is menuchat hanafesh, calmness of the soul.

The Mussar teachers see the importance of a calm soul, but they don't see that inner state as a final station called "Peace and Tranquility" where the journey ends, even as life continues.

Instead, they view equanimity as an inner balance that coexists with a world and an experience that accepts turbulence and even turmoil, because that's just the way life is.

In the Jewish view, the goal of spiritual life is not to reach an enlightened state in which all the questions and conundrums of life are unknotted with finality, but rather to become much more skilled at the processes of living.

This view applies fully to the soul-trait of equanimity, which does not spell the end of our struggles, rather is an inner quality we can cultivate to equip ourselves to handle the inevitable ups and downs of life.

--Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness

Aspect 1: Rising above the Trivial/Not Letting what is Trivial Overtake You
Rise above events that are inconsequential - both bad and good for they are not worth disturbing your equanimity. -Rabbi Menachem Mendel Lefin, Cheshbon HaNefesh
Aspect 2: Making Peace With Ourselves, With What Is
(Cultivating Gratitude can help!)
A person who has mastered peace of mind has gained everything. To obtain peace of mind, you need to be at peace with your emotions and desires. –Rabbi SimchaZisselZiv
How do we cultivate Equanimity?

1- "Staying Independent/Above the Fray" - not depending on others for self-esteem or validation; not reading too much into our personal struggles rather accepting them as they are

To seek praise for acts of goodness is not something we would even consider at the level of
hasidut
(saintliness). Yet even the
hasid
must beware of responding to praise unsought though it may be. To work to become a better person because of praise one has received reintroduces self-interested motivation. Indifference to consequences for oneself is the key to
hasidut
."
–
Rabbi Ira Stone
Mellisat
Yesharim
Path of the Upright
p 184 (Kaplan translation with commentary by Rabbi Ira Stone)

2-"Distancing Yourself" from those qualities -- through awareness and conscious actions-- that cause you extreme reactions, i.e. pride, anger

Midrash—Sifrei 144a; Peskita 102b

“You are My witnesses, says Adonai, and I am God” (Isaiah 43:12). That is, when you are My witnesses, I am God, and when you are not My witnesses, I am, as it were, not God.

We are solely responsible for the powerful inner forces that can lead us astray, and so these are our first priority. The guidance we are being given here is to cultivate an inner attitude that creates some distance between the stimulus that comes at us (whether from within or outside) and our reactions to it. We may space by cultivating an inner capacity to bear witness.

--Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness

3- "Move towards the light" - witnessing our inner struggles, but always looking towards the "light" and possibility.

Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.

--Victor Frankl

תהילים כ״ג

(א) מִזְמ֥וֹר לְדָוִ֑ד יהוה רֹ֝עִ֗י לֹ֣א אֶחְסָֽר׃(ב) בִּנְא֣וֹת דֶּ֭שֶׁא יַרְבִּיצֵ֑נִי עַל־מֵ֖י מְנֻח֣וֹת יְנַהֲלֵֽנִי׃(ג) נַפְשִׁ֥י יְשׁוֹבֵ֑ב יַֽנְחֵ֥נִי בְמַעְגְּלֵי־צֶ֝֗דֶק לְמַ֣עַן שְׁמֽוֹ׃(ד) גַּ֤ם כִּֽי־אֵלֵ֨ךְ בְּגֵ֪יא צַלְמָ֡וֶת לֹא־אִ֘ירָ֤א רָ֗ע כִּי־אַתָּ֥ה עִמָּדִ֑י שִׁבְטְךָ֥ וּ֝מִשְׁעַנְתֶּ֗ךָ הֵ֣מָּה יְנַֽחֲמֻֽנִי׃(ה) תַּעֲרֹ֬ךְ לְפָנַ֨י ׀ שֻׁלְחָ֗ן נֶ֥גֶד צֹרְרָ֑י דִּשַּׁ֥נְתָּ בַשֶּׁ֥מֶן רֹ֝אשִׁ֗י כּוֹסִ֥י רְוָיָֽה׃

(ו) אַ֤ךְ ׀ ט֤וֹב וָחֶ֣סֶד יִ֭רְדְּפוּנִי כׇּל־יְמֵ֣י חַיָּ֑י וְשַׁבְתִּ֥י בְּבֵית־יהוה לְאֹ֣רֶךְ יָמִֽים׃ {פ}

Psalms 23

(1) A psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd;
I lack nothing.(2) He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me to aOthers “still waters.”water in places of repose;-a(3) He renews my life;
He guides me in right paths
as befits His name.(4) Though I walk through a valley of deepest darkness,
I fear no harm, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me.(5) You spread a table for me in full view of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
my drink is abundant.

(6) Only goodness and steadfast love shall pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
for many long years.

Phrases or Poses for Practice:

Rise Above the Good and the Bad.
A Tree Planted by the Waters (Jeremiah 17:8)
This Too Shall Pass - Gam Ze Ya'avor
Stay above the Fray
Mountain Pose

Jeremiah Alternative Translation by Rabbi Lauren:
Be Rooted in who you are, in what you believe
So rooted that you withstand the pressures that come to sway you and knock you down
Stay standing
Have faith in the future and enough hope
To keep you always affirming life and giving to the world around you.