Lo Levayesh - Do Not Embarrass

MAN IS CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF HASHEM

ר' עקיבא אומר: (ויקרא יט) ואהבת לרעך כמוך, זה כלל גדול בתורה, שלא תאמר הואיל ונתבזיתי יתבזה חבירי עמי, הואיל ונתקללתי יתקלל חבירי עמי.

אמר רבי תנחומא: אם עשית כן, דע למי אתה מבזה, בדמות אלהים עשה אותו.

Bereshit Rabbah 24:7

Quoting the Book of Vayikra, Rabbi Akiva said, "Love your neighbor as yourself is the greatest principle of the Torah. A person should not think, 'Because I feel embarrassed, my friend should feel embarrassed along with with me. Because I was cursed, my friend should be cursed along with me.'"

Says Rabbi Tanchuma: If you do this (and embarrass your friend), know whom you are embarrassing - for he was made in the Image of Hashem.

משנה אבות ג׳:י״א

וְהַמַּלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵרוֹ בָרַבִּים... אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּיָדוֹ תוֹרָה וּמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים, אֵין לוֹ חֵלֶק לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא:

Pirkei Avot 3:11

Rabbi Elazar Ha-Moda'i says, "...One who humiliates his fellow in public... though he may have knowledge of Torah and good deeds, he has no share in the world to come (Heaven)."

ערכין ט״ו ב:ה׳

אמר רבי יוחנן משום רבי יוסי בן זימרא מאי דכתיב (תהלים קכ, ג) מה יתן לך ומה יוסיף לך לשון רמיה אמר לו הקב"ה ללשון כל אבריו של אדם זקופים ואתה מוטל כל אבריו של אדם מבחוץ ואתה מבפנים ולא עוד אלא שהקפתי לך שתי חומות אחת של עצם ואחת של בשר מה יתן לך ומה יוסיף לך לשון רמיה

Arakhin 15b:5

§ The Gemara returns to the topic of malicious speech. Rabbi Yoḥanan says in the name of Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra: What is the meaning of that which is written: “What shall be given to you, and what more shall be done for you, you deceitful tongue” (Psalms 120:3)? The Holy One, Blessed be He said to the tongue: All the other limbs of a person are upright, but you are lying horizontally. All the other limbs of a person are external, but you are internal. And moreover, I have surrounded you with two walls, one of bone, i.e., the teeth, and one of flesh, the lips. What shall be given to you and what more shall be done for you, to prevent you from speaking in a deceitful manner, tongue?

ערכין ט״ו ב:ו׳

אמר ר' יוחנן משום ר' יוסי בן זימרא כל המספר לשון הרע כאילו כפר בעיקר שנאמר (תהלים יב, ה) אשר אמרו ללשוננו נגביר שפתינו אתנו מי אדון לנו

Arakhin 15b:6

Furthermore, Rabbi Yoḥanan says in the name of Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra: Anyone who speaks malicious speech is considered as though he denied the fundamental belief in God. As it is stated: “Who have said: We will make our tongue mighty; our lips are with us: Who is lord over us” (Psalms 12:5).

ערכין ט״ו ב:ז׳

ואמר ר' יוסי בן זימרא כל המספר לשון הרע נגעים באים עליו שנאמר (תהלים קא, ה) מלשני בסתר רעהו אותו אצמית וכתיב התם {ויקרא כה } לצמיתות ומתרגמינן לחלוטין

Arakhin 15b:7

And Rabbi Yosei ben Zimra says: Anyone who speaks malicious speech will be afflicted by leprous marks coming upon him, as it is stated: “Whoever defames his neighbor in secret, I will destroy him [atzmit]; whoever is haughty of eye and proud of heart, I will not suffer him” (Psalms 101:5). And it is written there: “And the land shall not be sold in perpetuity [letzmitut]; for the land is Mine; for you are strangers and settlers with Me” (Leviticus 25:23). And we translate this term letzmitut as laḥalutin, in perpetuity or confirmed.

In memory of Gadol HaDor, HaRav Chaim Kanievsky. In the early days of the COVID-19 outbreak, Rav Kanievsky interpreted COVID quarantines in light of the quarantining of a gossiper suffering from tzara'at: As a society, we needed to use our time apart to work on those flaws that spiritually separate us, like lashon hara and excessive pride.

“We choose our clothes more carefully than we choose our words, though what we say about and to others can define them indelibly. That is why ethical speech – speaking fairly of others, honestly about ourselves, and carefully to everyone is so important. If we keep the power of words in the foreground of our consciousness, we will handle them as carefully as we would a loaded gun.”

-Joseph Telushkin, Words that Hurt – Words that Heal (quoted in R. Margolis, J.L. Grishaver, & J. Golub Parashah: Experiencing the Weekly Torah Portion.)

ערכין ט״ו ב:כ״א

במערבא אמרי לשון תליתאי קטיל תליתאי הורג למספרו ולמקבלו ולאומרו

Arakhin 15b:21

In the West, Eretz Yisrael, they say: Third speech, i.e., malicious speech about a third party, kills three people. It kills the one who speaks malicious speech, and the one who accepts the malicious speech when he hears it, and the one about whom the malicious speech is said.

ערכין ט״ו ב:כ״ב

א"ר חמא ברבי חנינא מאי דכתיב (משלי יח, כא) מות וחיים ביד לשון וכי יש יד ללשון לומר לך מה יד ממיתה אף לשון ממיתה אי מה יד אינה ממיתה אלא בסמוך לה אף לשון אינה ממיתה אלא בסמוך לה ת"ל חץ שחוט לשונם

Arakhin 15b:22

Rabbi Ḥama, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, says: What is the meaning of that which is written: “Death and life are in the hand of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). Does the tongue have a hand? Rather the verse comes to tell you that just as a hand can kill, so too a tongue can kill. If you were to claim that just as the hand kills only from close by, so too the tongue kills only from close by, therefore the verse states: “Their tongue is a sharpened arrow” (Jeremiah 9:7). The tongue kills like an arrow that is fired from a bow, at a great distance.

Scenario A: Lo Levayesh - Do Not Embarrass. Your friend is leading services when, suddenly, his voice cracks and sounds squeaky. You are tempted to laugh. How does the Torah's mitzvah, love your neighbor as yourself, stop you from embarrassing him?

Scenario B: Lo Levayesh - Do Not Embarrass. Your class is posing for school photographs. Your teacher isn't looking and you are able to give your friend 'bunny ears' in the photo without getting caught. How does the Torah's teaching that we are created In the Image of Hashem stop your from embarrassing your friend?