Why Rebuke?

(25) But it shall go well with them who reprove; Blessings of good things will light upon them.

(23) He who reproves a man will in the end Find more favor than he who flatters him.

(17) You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kinsman but incur no guilt because of him. (18) You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against your countrymen. Love your fellow as yourself: I am the LORD.

(1) Do not hate your kinsfolk in your heart, if they have done something evil to you, do not behave as if you continue to love them, all the time setting an ambush for them in your heart (Jeremiah 9:7). Such an attitude is unhealthy, but (2), rebuke them for what they have done and as a result you will restore harmonious relations. (3) so that you will not incur guilt on their account, in your heart.

(1) You shall not hate your brother in your heart: Since it is the way of haters to hide their hatred in their hearts, as it stated (Proverbs 26:24), "A hater makes his lips foreign," the verse mentioned what is common. And [then] it stated, "you shall surely rebuke your kinsman," [as] a separate commandment to teach him ethical reproofs. And "and you shall not carry sin for him" [is] that there will be guilt upon you if he sins and you had not reproved him. And the language of Onkelos inclines to this [understanding], as he says, "that you not receive liability for what is his" - that you do not receive punishment for his sin.... And the verse states, "You shall not hate your brother in your heart" in his doing to you that which is not like your will; but rather, rebuke him [by saying], "Why did you do like this to me." [Hence the meaning of] "And you shall not carry sin for him" [is] to cover up your hatred for him in your heart and not to tell him. As in your rebuking him, he will make amends with you or repent and admit his sin, and it will be atoned for him. And afterwards it warns that you not take revenge from him and not bear a grudge in your heart [about] what he did to you. As it is likely that he will not hate him but he will remember the sin in his heart. And therefore it warns him that he erase the crime and sin of his brother from his heart.

(1) לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך, “do not hate your brother (fellow Jew) in your heart.” If it has come to your attention that that Jew made negative comments about you, accused you falsely behind your back of wrongdoing, do not bottle your resentment up in your heart by hating him.” You should rather הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך, “remonstrate with your colleague about having wrongly accused you,” asking him what prompted him to badmouth you. Perhaps, once matters are in the open you can demonstrate to your colleague that he completely misinterpreted one of your actions. Alternately, you will become aware that what had been reported to you as having said by him about you was misrepresented, and not meant detrimentally at all. (B’chor Shor) You are to act in this manner even if you are convinced that your remonstrations will not help at all. In fact, your failure to make an attempt at reconciliation will be held against you by the heavenly tribunal. This is why the verse concludes with the words: ולא תשא עליו חטא, “so that you will not burden him with a sin.”

Rabbi Yosi bar Chanina said: A love without reproof is no love. Reish Lakish said: Reproof leads to peace. A peace where there has been no reproof is no peace.

(2) It is from the roots of the commandment [that it is] because there is peace and goodness between people with this. As when a man sins to a man, and he rebukes him privately, he will apologize in front of him, and [the other] will accept his apology and he will be whole (some have the variant, at peace) with him. But if he does not rebuke him, he will loathe him in his heart and injure him at the time or at some [other] point in time, as it is stated about evildoers (II Samuel 13:22), "And Avshalom did not speak with Amnon." And 'all the ways of the Torah are pleasant and its paths are peace.'

Anyone who had the capability to effectively protest the sinful conduct of the members of his household and did not protest, he himself is apprehended for the sins of the members of his household and punished. If he is in a position to protest the sinful conduct of the people of his town, and he fails to do so, he is apprehended for the sins of the people of his town. If he is in a position to protest the sinful conduct of the whole world, and he fails to do so, he is apprehended for the sins of the whole world.