Illness, Grief, and God

(1) LAWS OF VISITING THE SICK; HEALING; THE APPROACH OF DEATH AND ONE IN A DYING CONDITION.
It is a religious duty to visit the sick.¹Shab. 127a; B.M. 30b; B.K. 100a; Ned. 39b-40a; Sot. 14a. Relatives and friends²Who are intimate with him and are on an equal footing as relatives. may enter at once and strangers after three days. If the sickness overtakes him³Lit. ‘springs upon him.’ both may enter forthwith.⁴Tur in abridged form from T.H. — G. Y. Peah III, 9(17d); ibid. Git. VI, 7 (48a-b) ; Sem. de R. Ḥiyya (H) I, 1; also Sem. (H). Int. pp. 17-19 and cf. Ber. 55b; Yad, Ebel XIV, 5 and Kes. Mish. ibid. Strangers are not permitted to visit the sick person before three days elapse, for prior to this period their visit indicates that the patient’s luck is shaky and that he is designated a sick person. This, however, does not apply to relatives and intimate friends who are much closer to him. Hence, if the sickness overtakes him even strangers are permitted to visit him immediately — BaḤ. A Kohen is permitted to visit a sick person in a hospital, although it is quite likely that a corpse is present there. However, he should first make inquiries from the hospital authorities whether there is a corpse there or not. Where this is impossible to be determined, the Kohen may visit the patient in order to fulfil the religious duty of visiting the sick. The Kohen should not fear that there are sick people in the hospital who are in a dying condition, for we apply the principle that the majority of sick people recover — Resp. Teshurath Shai.

(2) Even a prominent person must visit a humble one;⁵Ned. 39b. even many times a day and even if the visitor is of his affinity.⁶Of the same age as the invalid. Thus Rashi. According to Asheri: ‘under the same planetary influence.’ ‘For a master said: ‘A man’s affinity takes away a sixtieth of his (the sick person’s) illness’ (Ned. ibid.; B.M. 30b). One who increases [his visits] is considered praiseworthy,⁷In accord with Raba’s dictum (Ned. ibid.), ‘Even a hundred times a day.’ provided he does not trouble him.⁸Ibid. The visitor should not come empty-handed — Sefer Yesh Noḥalin. Gloss: Some say that an enemy may visit a sick person.⁹Maharil s. 197 — G. However, this does not seem plausible to me; but he should not visit a sick person nor comfort a mourner whom he hates, so that [the latter] should not think that he rejoices at his misfortune, and thereby feel depressed.¹⁰One may, however, follow the funeral procession of his enemy since this is the end of every human and ‘rejoicing at one’s misfortune’ does not apply (BaḤ). But as to visiting the sick or offering comfort to a mourner, it depends upon the degree of enmity. — ShaK. One should therefore, use his judgment, especially if the sick person gives him permission to visit him — Sefer ha-Ḥayyim. Thus seems to me [to be the correct view].¹¹San. 19a — G. also Me’iri ibid.

(3) One who visits the sick may neither sit upon a bed, nor upon a chair, nor upon a stool, but must [reverently] wrap himself and sit in front of him [the invalid], for the Divine Presence is above the top-side of his bed.¹²For it is written, ‘The Lord supports him upon the bed of illness’ (PS. XLI, 4). Shab. 12b, and Tosaf. s.v. לא; Ned. 40a and RaN s.v. לא. Gloss: [This applies] only if the sick person lies on the ground so that he who sits [near him] will be on a higher level; but when he lies upon the bed, it is permissible [for the visitor] to sit on a chair or a stool.¹³B.Yos. citing RaN; Hag. Maim.; Tosaf. and Hag. Asheri — G. And thus is our accepted practice.¹⁴This means that it is permissible to sit on any side of the invalid’s bed as long as the visitor is not on a higher level. , however, Zohar Pinḥas 234b where it is stated that if the invalid is an average person בינוני one should not sit at his feet, and at the top-side of the bed it is forbidden even if both are on the same level; if the invalid is a perfectly righteous person צדיק גמור the visitor may sit only in front of him at his feet, for in this case the Divine Presence is found on every side of the invalid excluding the side at his feet.

(4) One must not visit the sick during the first three hours of the day, — for every invalid's illness is alleviated in the morning and [consequently] one will not trouble himself to pray¹⁵Lit. ‘to ask for mercy.’ for him; and not during the last three hours of the day, — for then his illness grows worse and one will give up hope to pray for him.¹⁶Ned. ibid. This is not a prohibition but only general advice. Hence, people are not particular with respect to this requirement — A.H. Gloss: One who visited [a sick person] and did not pray for him has not fulfilled the religious duty [of visiting the sick].¹⁷B.Yos. citing N (in T.H.) — G.

(5) When one prays for him, — if in his presence,¹⁸e., the invalid’s. one may pray in any language one desires; if one prays, not in his presence,¹⁸e., the invalid’s. one should pray only in Hebrew.¹⁹Shab. ibid. according to which the Divine Presence is with the invalid and supports him (v. supra n. 12). Hence, the visitor may pray in any language since he is in the presence of God. But when he is not in the presence of the invalid he requires the angel’s intercession who according to tradition understands only Hebrew (v. Sot. 33a). This should not be confused with the notion that Judaism advocates praying to angels to intercede on our behalf. The angel merely acts as a carrier of prayers to God. Y.Ber. IX, 1(13a), “If a misfortune befalls a person, he should not cry to Michael or Gabriel, but let him cry to me and I will answer him forthwith, as it is written, ‘whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered’” (Joel III, 5).

(1) One in a dying condition is considered a living being in all respects.³He is considered a living being with respect to granting a divorce (provided he is able to speak, according to one opinion in E.H. § 121, 7) ; to giving gifts, and as to a Kohen entering the house of a person in a dying condition, some permit and others forbid. infra § 370. We may not tie up his jaws,⁴So that he does not open his mouth. nor may we annoint him with oil, nor wash him,⁵In order to remove filth. nor stop off his organs of the extremities,⁶This was done in order that the corpse should not swell on account of the air which enters through his open organs. nor may we remove the pillow from under him, nor may we place him on sand, clay-ground or earth, nor may we place on his stomach a dish, a shovel, a flask of water or a globule of salt,⁷These were ancient practices. nor may we summon the towns on his behalf, nor may we hire pipers and lamenting women, nor may we close his eyes⁸For all these hasten his death — TaZ. On closing the eyes, cf. Gen. XLVI, 4, ‘And Joseph shall put his hand upon thine eyes.’ before his soul departs.⁹Tur citing T.H. who derives this from Sem. Cur. edd., however, do not contain all the items enumerated. W.G. a.l. and Sem(H). p. 233; also supra § 337, n. 2. Cf. further Shab. 151a-b, Mishna. And whosoever closes [the dying person's] eyes before death¹⁰Lit. ‘with the departure of the soul.’ is regarded as one who sheds blood.¹¹One must make sure that he is dead, for it is quite possible that the patient has only fainted — Maim. The Talmud (ibid.) and Sem. (l.c.) compare this to a lamp that is going out. If one places his finger upon it, it is immediately extinguished — ShaK. One may not rend garments, nor bare the shoulder in mourning, nor make a lamentation for him, nor bring a coffin into the house in his presence before he dies,¹²A healthy person is, however, permitted to prepare shrouds for himself — T.H. according to Men. 41a. nor may we begin the recital of Ẓidduk Haddin¹ Glos. before his soul departs.¹³T.H. Cf. W.G. a.l. Gloss: Some say that we may not dig out a grave for him. although it is not [done] in his presence, [i.e.,] in the house, — before he dies.¹⁴RIBaSh, Resp. 114. But if this is not done in the presence of the dying person and he would therefore not become aware of it, it is permissible — B.Yos. and BaḤ. However, on the eve of the Sabbath one must be very careful not to open a grave unless there would be sufficient time to bury the corpse. Cf. O.Ḥ. § 547, 9; BaḤ a.l. Mish. Le-Melek, Yad, Ebel IV, 5. It is [likewise] forbidden to dig out any grave to be [left] open until the next day, in which the corpse will not be buried the same day, and there is danger in this.¹⁵R. Yeruḥam on the authority of R. Yehudah the Ḥasid — G. It is likewise forbidden to cause [aught] to hasten the death of one who is in a dying condition, e.g., one who has been in a dying condition for a long time, and could not depart, — [the law is that] we may not remove the pillow or the mattress from under him [just] because some say that there are feathers from some fowl which cause this [prolongation of death].¹⁶Where there exists a possibility that if a certain cure or medicine is administered the patient may live or it may have the opposite effect of hastening his death, the law is that it is permissible to give the medicine or the like after consultation with medical experts — Resp. Binyan Ẓion. One may offer prayers that the suffering person die — RaN (Ned. 40a). He may likewise not be moved from his place. It is also forbidden to place the Synagogue keys under his head in order that he may depart.¹⁷These are all forbidden on account of moving the patient which may hasten his death — TaZ and ShaK. supra n. 7. However, if there is aught which causes a hindrance to the departure of the soul, e.g., [if] near that house there is a knocking sound, viz., a wood-cutter, or there is salt on his tongue, and these hinder the departure of the soul, it is permitted to remove it therefrom, for there is no [direct] act [involved] in this, since he merely removes the hindrance.¹⁸Hag. Alfasi (295b) to M.K. III — G. TaZ contra ShaK. forbids removing salt from his tongue, since in this case too, the patient has to be moved. A.H. agrees with ShaK.

(4) As soon as he feels death approaching, they should not separate themselves from him, lest his soul depart whilst he is alone.²²Kol Bo. For the soul suffers grief when it has to leave the body alone. And it is a religious duty to stand near the [dying] person during the departure of the soul, as it is written,²³Ps. XLIX, 10. 'That he should still live alway; that he should not see the pit. For he seeth that wise men die, the fool and the brutish together perish etc.'²⁴Hag. Alfasi ibid. — G.