אמר רבא ואיתימא רב חסדא אם רואה אדם שיסורין באין עליו יפשפש במעשיו שנאמר נחפשה דרכינו ונחקרה ונשובה עד ה׳ פשפש ולא מצא יתלה בבטול תורה שנאמר אשרי הגבר אשר תיסרנו יה ומתורתך תלמדנו ואם תלה ולא מצא בידוע שיסורין של אהבה הם שנאמר כי את אשר יאהב ה׳ יוכיח
Rava, and some say Rav Ḥisda, said: If a person sees that suffering has befallen him, he should examine his actions, as it is stated: “We will search and examine our ways, and return to God” (Lamentations 3:40). If he examined his ways and found no transgression for which that suffering is appropriate, he may attribute his suffering to dereliction in the study of Torah, as it is stated: “Happy is the man whom You punish, Lord, and teach out of Your law” (Psalms 94:12). This verse teaches us that his suffering will cause him to return to Your law. And if he did attribute his suffering to dereliction in the study of Torah, and did not find this to be so, he may be confident that these are afflictions of love, as it is stated: “For whom the Lord loves, He rebukes, as does a father the son in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:12).
כל מקום שנאמר ה' זו מדת רחמים, שנא' (שמות לד) ה' אל רחום וחנון. כל מקום שנא' אלהים זו מדת הדין, שנא' (שמות כב) עד האלהים יבוא דבר שניהם. ואומר (שמות כב) אלהים לא תקלל:
Wherever "Yod-heh-vav-heh" is written, the attribute of mercy is intended, as in Exodus 34:6, "Yod-heh-vav-heh, the G-d who is merciful and gracious." Wherever "Elokim" is written, the attribute of justice is intended, as in (Exodus 22:8) "Unto the judges ('elohim') shall come the matter of both," and (Exodus 22:27) "Elokim ([Both G-d and judges are intended]) you shall not curse."
From Rabbi Harold Kushner's The Book of Job: When Bad Things Happened to a Good Person
Like Job, I have met God. I have met [God] in the sunshine but more often in the shadows, not in the elegant perfection of the world but in the resilience of the human soul, the ability of people to find even a pain-filled life, even a grossly unfair life, worth living. I have met God in the readiness of people to reach out to the afflicted, to salve the wounds not with their doctrines but with their hugs and their tears. Like Job, like Abraham, I have seen the world in flames and I have been sustained by the message that God has not abandoned the world.
אבל שבוע הראשון אינו יוצא מפתח ביתו אפילו לשמוע ברכות חופה או ברכות המילה: שניה יוצא ואינו יושב במקומו ואינו מדבר שלישי' יושב במקומו ואינו מדבר:
A mourner during the first week of mourning does not leave the door of his house, even to hear the benedictions of the marriage ceremony or the benedictions of the circumcision ceremony. The second week of mourning he goes out but does not sit in his customary place in the Synagogue, nor does he engage in conversation. The third week of mourning he may sit in his place but does not engage in conversation.