What is meant by "All the commandments of the son are upon the father..."? Maybe [it means] that women are exempt from all the commandments that a son is obligated to fulfill for his father? [But there is a contradictory] Baraita: "[When the verse says] 'a man' (Leviticus 19:3), only a man [is explicitly commanded]. From where do we derive [the obligation of] women [as well]? When the verse states 'a man [is commanded to] fear (plural) his mother and father' (ibid.) [the plural form of 'fear' implies] two [distinct individuals that are obligated]". -?!- Says Rav Yehudah "This is what was meant (by the Mishnah when it says "All the commandments of the son are upon the father..."): All the commandments that are incumbent upon a parent to do for his son, men (i.e. the fathers) are obligated to fulfill while women (i.e. the mothers) are exempt". A Baraita states: "A father is obligated to circumcise, redeem, teach Torah to, find a wife for, and teach a trade to his son". There are those that say "[there is] even [an obligation to show his son] how to swim"...
Ketubot Chapter 4
Mishna 2
- If a man gave his daughter in betrothal and she was divorced, [and then] he gave her [again] in betrothal and she was widowed, her ketubah belongs to him.
- If he gave her in a marriage and she was divorced [and then] he gave her [again] in marriage and she was left a widow, her ketubah belongs to her.
- Rabbi Judah said: the first belongs to her father.
- They said to him: as soon as he gives her in marriage, her father loses all control over her.
| Father's Rights | Daughter's Rights | |
|---|---|---|
| After Betrothal | ||
| After Marriage |
Ketubot Chapter 4
Mishna 4
- A father has authority over his daughter in her betrothal [whether it was affected] by money, document, or intercourse.
- He is entitled to anything she finds, to her handiwork and to annul her vows.
- He receives her get but he has no usufruct [from her property] during her lifetime.
- When she marries, the husband surpasses him [in his rights] in that he has usufruct during her lifetime.
- And he is obligated to feed her, to pay a ransom for her and to provide for her burial.
- Rabbi Judah says: even the poorest man in Israel must provide no less than two flutes and one lamenting woman.
| Father's Rights | Husband's Rights | Husband's Duties |
|---|---|---|
Ketubot Chapter 4
Mishna 6
- A father is not obligated to maintain his daughter.
- This exposition was made by Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah in front of the sages in the vineyard of Yavneh: "The sons shall inherit [their mother's ketubah] and the daughters shall be maintained [out of their father's estate" - just as the sons do not inherit except aftr the death of their father, so the daughters are not maintained except after the death of their father.
First Decree in Usha
When they came before Rabbi Yehuda [to complain about a neglectful father], he said to them: A yarod has given birth and he throws their support onto citizens of the town!
Overturn a pot in the town and get up and say: a raven desires its children, and this man does not desire his children!
...When he (the father) came before Rava, he said to him: Is it comfortable for you that you children are being supported by charity?
And we have stated this rulin only when the father is not financially well to do.
But if he is well to do, we force him against his will.
As with Rava, who forced Rav Natan Bar Ami and extracted from him 400 zuz for charity.
Third Decree in Usha
R. Elai stated: It was ordained at Usha that if a man wishes to spend liberally he should not spend more than a fifth.
So it was also taught: If a man desires to spend liberally he should not spend more than a fifth, since by spending more he might himself come to be in need of the help of the people. It happened once that a man wished to spend more than a fifth but his friend did not allow him.
Who was it?
R. Yeshebab.
Fourth Decree in Usha
R. Isaac stated: It was ordained at Usha that a man must bear with his son until he is twelve years of age.
From that day onward he should make his life miserable.
Really?
Did not Rab, in fact, say to R. Samuel b. Shilath,
"Do not accept a pupil under the age of six, a pupil of the age of six shall you accept and stuff him like an ox?" Yes, stuff him like an ox.
but he may not "threaten him" until after he has reached the age of twelve years.
And, if you prefer I may say This is no difficulty, since one may have referred to Scripture and the other to Mishnah.