3 opinions
Corporeal relationship between husband and wife reflect the cosmic relationship between Hashem and Kneset Yisroel
Therefore this machloket can be interpreted regarding our relationship with Hashem as written in the Navi:
(א) כֹּ֣ה ׀ אָמַ֣ר יְהוָ֗ה אֵ֣י זֶ֠ה סֵ֣פֶר כְּרִית֤וּת אִמְּכֶם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר שִׁלַּחְתִּ֔יהָ א֚וֹ מִ֣י מִנּוֹשַׁ֔י אֲשֶׁר־מָכַ֥רְתִּי אֶתְכֶ֖ם ל֑וֹ הֵ֤ן בַּעֲוֺנֹֽתֵיכֶם֙ נִמְכַּרְתֶּ֔ם וּבְפִשְׁעֵיכֶ֖ם שֻׁלְּחָ֥ה אִמְּכֶֽם׃
(1) Thus saith the LORD: Where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement, Wherewith I have put her away? Or which of My creditors is it To whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities were ye sold, And for your transgressions was your mother put away.
The corporeal relationship between man and woman is also reflected in the metaphysical relationship between:
a) soul and body -
The soul being the husband (giver) and the body being the wife (receiver)
b) a Jew (giver)and their intrinsic mission in this life
(shelichut/purpose) (receiver)
Beit Shamai - Even if much conflict has occured as long as it's halachically permissable The soul must remain married to the body
the jew must remained involeved with his/her shelichut
Beit Hillel - If She purposefully burned his food - connotes becoming burnt out -
In their kabbalistic form:
Man represents chochma -
the seminal point/potential
Woman represents Binah -
development
(Example - during conception man gives the seed which is potential for life, and woman develops it to a full fledged living fetus.
Or paraphrasing the Talmud - man brings the grain, raw food home and woman cooks it to a full meal)
Therefore we can understand Beit Hilles opinion to mean when she - the body/mission burns him - the soul/person out completely. In other words, not only she's not helping devolpment, on the contrary she is burning him out
Rabbi Akiva - If he The soul/person finds a more pleseant body/soul
There is nothing wrong on the surface but he is lacking delight in the current settings.
he finds no pleasure or delight in this "place" in his shelichut or the soul simpley finds a more "delightful" more translucent body.
Halchach is ruled according to Beit Hillel, in that as long as there isn't substatal damge he could only leave if the settings are burning him out
Why would a woman burn her husbands food on purpose?
He should examine the way he treated their marriage
Midrash:
What do we learn from the fact that man was created from the earth while the woman was created from the bone?
earth heats up quickly and cools down quickly...
bone/solid heats up slowly, but once hot it remains hot for a very long time
(burning anything that touches it"
Did "he" treat "her" correctly?
Teshuvah
Means to return to before the corruption
Kipur
Kapar - to expunge to restart and rebuild streangthan from the core
Rambam hilchot teshuva:
"He should change all of his behavior."
Why is it neccessary to change all of his behavior?
Negitivity begins when good is not good enough
One should examine not only what went wrong, but why wasn't it more right?
Why did I not utilize the opportunities to fulfill my mission in this setting?
The famous story when Rabbi Zusha of Anipoli cried to his colleagues saying
"When I return my soul to its maker, I will be asked a question for which I have no answer... They wont ask me "why werent you like Yakov or Moshe rabeinu..."
they will ask me "Zusha why weren't you Zusha???
Why didnt you utilize all that was given to you?"
What will I say.... You didnt give me my wife, my life my streangths and challanges
?"