כַּיָּמִ֗ים אֲשֶׁר־נָ֨חוּ בָהֶ֤ם הַיְּהוּדִים֙ מֵא֣וֹיְבֵיהֶ֔ם וְהַחֹ֗דֶשׁ אֲשֶׁר֩ נֶהְפַּ֨ךְ לָהֶ֤ם מִיָּגוֹן֙ לְשִׂמְחָ֔ה וּמֵאֵ֖בֶל לְי֣וֹם ט֑וֹב לַעֲשׂ֣וֹת אוֹתָ֗ם יְמֵי֙ מִשְׁתֶּ֣ה וְשִׂמְחָ֔ה וּמִשְׁל֤וֹחַ מָנוֹת֙ אִ֣ישׁ לְרֵעֵ֔הוּ וּמַתָּנ֖וֹת לָֽאֶבְיוֹנִֽים׃
The same days on which the Jews enjoyed relief from their foes and the same month which had been transformed for them from one of grief and mourning to one of festive joy. They were to observe them as days of feasting and merrymaking, and as an occasion for sending gifts to one another and presents to the poor.
אמר רבא מיחייב איניש לבסומי בפוריא עד דלא ידע בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי רבה ורבי זירא עבדו סעודת פורים בהדי הדדי איבסום קם רבה שחטיה לרבי זירא למחר בעי רחמי ואחייה לשנה אמר ליה ניתי מר ונעביד סעודת פורים בהדי הדדי אמר ליה לא בכל שעתא ושעתא מתרחיש ניסא
Rava said: A person is obligated to become intoxicated on Purim until he cannot tell the difference between 'cursed is Haman' and 'blessed is Mordecai.'
Rabba and R. Zeira got together for Purim Seudah (the feast on the afternoon of Purim). They got very drunk, and Rabba got up and cut R. Zeira’s throat (lit. butchered him). The next day, Rabba prayed on R. Zeira’s behalf and brought him back to life.
A year later, Rabba asked, “Would you like to have Purim Seudah with me again this year?” R. Zeira replied, “One cannot count on a miracle every time!”
אין מדקדקין במעות פורים אלא כל מי שפושט ידו...
We [should not be] exceedingly cautious with money on Purim. Rather, we give to everyone who puts out a hand.
What are the contradictions that arise in these texts?
What role does control/predictability play in each text?
From www.myjewishlearning.com
Purim and its customs of drinking, dressing-up, and mockery provide the natural opportunity for challenging the standard religious system. People are invited to relinquish normal modes of behavior for one day, embracing behavior otherwise viewed with suspicion. Controlled and institutionalized chaos affirms the greater structure of Jewish custom and law by forming an outlet for a healthy questioning and challenge from within. At the same time, consequences of losing control are further balanced by traditions of giving extra tzedakah (charity) and special gifts to friends and neighbors (mishloach manot) on Purim. Even in its antinomianism (breaking the rules), the tradition has one eye focused on communal balance.
Four Lessons We Learn From Purim, by Rabbi Elliott Tepperman on www.reconstructingjudaism.org
The Role of Chance
The word Purim literally means “lots,” as in “drawing lots.” The name of the holiday is meant to remind us that of the fact that Haman used lots to determine the date that the Jews of Persia would be killed. There was no rhyme or reason to the choosing of this date: it was left to random chance. Of course the fact that the tables were turned and that this became the date for Haman’s demise further reminds us of the unpredictability of life.
Purim reminds us that much in life is a matter of chance. Where we are born, who our parents are, the friends we meet, what we look like—these are all things that are either completely or mostly out of our control. We work hard to exert control in those areas that we can, but it is just as important to learn how to roll with the punches and how to accept our blessings.
What is the role of chance in your approach to parenting?
What is the role of control (or lack thereof)?
When do you intentionally have no rules? rules? break the rules?