Just Guys Being Pals?

כָּל אַהֲבָה שֶׁהִיא תְלוּיָה בְדָבָר, בָּטֵל דָּבָר, בְּטֵלָה אַהֲבָה. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְדָבָר, אֵינָהּ בְּטֵלָה לְעוֹלָם. אֵיזוֹ הִיא אַהֲבָה הַתְּלוּיָה בְדָבָר, זוֹ אַהֲבַת אַמְנוֹן וְתָמָר. וְשֶׁאֵינָהּ תְּלוּיָה בְדָבָר, זוֹ אַהֲבַת דָּוִד וִיהוֹנָתָן:

Any love that is dependent on something, when that thing perishes, the love perishes. But [a love] that is not dependent on something, does not ever perish. What's [an example of] a love that is dependent on something? That's the love of Amnon and Tamar. And [a love] that is not dependent on something? That's the love of David and Jonathan.

(א) וַיְהִ֗י כְּכַלֹּתוֹ֙ לְדַבֵּ֣ר אֶל־שָׁא֔וּל וְנֶ֙פֶשׁ֙ יְה֣וֹנָתָ֔ן נִקְשְׁרָ֖ה בְּנֶ֣פֶשׁ דָּוִ֑ד ויאהבו [וַיֶּאֱהָבֵ֥הוּ] יְהוֹנָתָ֖ן כְּנַפְשֽׁוֹ׃ (ג) וַיִּכְרֹ֧ת יְהוֹנָתָ֛ן וְדָוִ֖ד בְּרִ֑ית בְּאַהֲבָת֥וֹ אֹת֖וֹ כְּנַפְשֽׁוֹ׃ (ד) וַיִּתְפַּשֵּׁ֣ט יְהוֹנָתָ֗ן אֶֽת־הַמְּעִיל֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עָלָ֔יו וַֽיִּתְּנֵ֖הוּ לְדָוִ֑ד וּמַדָּ֕יו וְעַד־חַרְבּ֥וֹ וְעַד־קַשְׁתּ֖וֹ וְעַד־חֲגֹרֽוֹ׃

(1) When [David] finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan’s soul became bound up with the soul of David; Jonathan loved David as himself. (3) Jonathan and David made a pact, because [Jonathan] loved him as himself. (4) Jonathan took off the cloak and tunic he was wearing and gave them to David, together with his sword, bow, and belt.

וַיְהִ֥י דָוִ֛ד לְכָל־דָּרְכָ֖ו מַשְׂכִּ֑יל ה׳ עִמּֽוֹ׃ וַיַּ֣רְא שָׁא֔וּל אֲשֶׁר־ה֖וּא מַשְׂכִּ֣יל מְאֹ֑ד וַיָּ֖גָר מִפָּנָֽיו׃

David was successful in all his undertakings, for the LORD was with him; and when Saul saw that he was successful, he dreaded him.

וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר שָׁא֗וּל אֶל־יוֹנָתָ֤ן בְּנוֹ֙ וְאֶל־כָּל־עֲבָדָ֔יו לְהָמִ֖ית אֶת־דָּוִ֑ד וִיהֽוֹנָתָן֙ בֶּן־שָׁא֔וּל חָפֵ֥ץ בְּדָוִ֖ד מְאֹֽד׃ וַיַּגֵּ֤ד יְהוֹנָתָן֙ לְדָוִ֣ד לֵאמֹ֔ר מְבַקֵּ֛שׁ שָׁא֥וּל אָבִ֖י לַהֲמִיתֶ֑ךָ

Saul urged his son Jonathan and all his courtiers to kill David. But Saul’s son Jonathan was very fond of David, and Jonathan told David, “My father Saul is bent on killing you. Be on your guard tomorrow morning

וַיֹּ֥אמֶר יְהוֹנָתָ֖ן אֶל־דָּוִ֑ד מַה־תֹּאמַ֥ר נַפְשְׁךָ֖ וְאֶֽעֱשֶׂה־לָּֽךְ׃ (פ)
Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you want, I will do it for you.”

וַיִּֽחַר־אַ֤ף שָׁאוּל֙ בִּיה֣וֹנָתָ֔ן וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ל֔וֹ בֶּֽן־נַעֲוַ֖ת הַמַּרְדּ֑וּת הֲל֣וֹא יָדַ֗עְתִּי כִּֽי־בֹחֵ֤ר אַתָּה֙ לְבֶן־יִשַׁ֔י [דוד] לְבָ֨שְׁתְּךָ֔ וּלְבֹ֖שֶׁת עֶרְוַ֥ת אִמֶּֽךָ׃ כִּ֣י כָל־הַיָּמִ֗ים אֲשֶׁ֤ר בֶּן־יִשַׁי֙ חַ֣י עַל־הָאֲדָמָ֔ה לֹ֥א תִכּ֖וֹן אַתָּ֣ה וּמַלְכוּתֶ֑ךָ וְעַתָּ֗ה שְׁלַ֨ח וְקַ֤ח אֹתוֹ֙ אֵלַ֔י כִּ֥י בֶן־מָ֖וֶת הֽוּא׃ (ס) וַיַּ֙עַן֙ יְה֣וֹנָתָ֔ן אֶת־שָׁא֖וּל אָבִ֑יו וַיֹּ֧אמֶר אֵלָ֛יו לָ֥מָּה יוּמַ֖ת מֶ֥ה עָשָֽׂה׃ (ס)

Saul flew into a rage against Jonathan. “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman!” he shouted. “I know that you side with the son of Jesse [David]—to your shame, and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness! For as long as the son of Jesse lives on earth, neither you nor your kingship will be secure. Now then, have him brought to me, for he is marked for death.” But Jonathan spoke up and said to his father, “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?”

(מא)אִ֣ישׁ אֶת־רֵעֵ֗הוּ וַיִּבְכּוּ֙ אִ֣ישׁ אֶת־רֵעֵ֔הוּ עַד־דָּוִ֖ד הִגְדִּֽיל׃ (מב) וַיֹּ֧אמֶר יְהוֹנָתָ֛ן לְדָוִ֖ד: "לֵ֣ךְ לְשָׁל֑וֹם אֲשֶׁר֩ נִשְׁבַּ֨עְנוּ שְׁנֵ֜ינוּ אֲנַ֗חְנוּ בְּשֵׁ֤ם ה׳ לֵאמֹ֔ר ה׳ יִֽהְיֶ֣ה ׀ בֵּינִ֣י וּבֵינֶ֗ךָ וּבֵ֥ין זַרְעִ֛י וּבֵ֥ין זַרְעֲךָ֖ עַד־עוֹלָֽם׃" (פ)

(41) They kissed each other and wept together; David wept the longer. (42) Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace! For we two have sworn to each other in the name of the LORD: ‘May the LORD be [witness] between you and me…forever!’

(כו) צַר־לִ֣י עָלֶ֗יךָ אָחִי֙ יְה֣וֹנָתָ֔ן נָעַ֥מְתָּ לִּ֖י מְאֹ֑ד נִפְלְאַ֤תָה אַהֲבָֽתְךָ֙ לִ֔י מֵאַהֲבַ֖ת נָשִֽׁים׃

(26) I grieve for you, My brother Jonathan, You were most dear to me. Your love was wonderful to me More than the love of women.

(י) ואפשר שירצה באמרו בכל לבבך ובכל נפשך ובכל מאדך לעומת התחלפות אהבת בני אדם קצתם בקצתם והוא שהאוהבים שלשה מינים.

(יא) מהם מי שמתנדב לרצון אהובו בממונו בלבד:

(יב) ומהם מי שמתנדב לרצון אהובו בגופו ובממונו.

(יג) ומהם מי שמתנדב לרצון אהובו בממונו וגופו ונפשו כמ״‎ש החכם (שיר השירים ח) אם יתן איש את כל הון ביתו באהבה בוז יבוזו לו ואמר ביהונתן ורוד (שמואל א כ׳:י״ז) כי אהבת נפשו אהבו ואמר (ש״‎ב א) נפלאתה אהבתך לי מאהבת נשים.

(10) One can also render the intent of "And you shall love the L-ord your G-d with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might" (Devarim 6:5) to be referring to the three ways in which people love each other. This can be seen in the three types of friends [pals]:

(11) 1. One who volunteers towards doing the will of the one he loves with his money only.

(12) 2. One who volunteers towards doing the will of the one he loves with his body (by physically helping) or with his money.

(13) 3. One who volunteers towards doing the will of the one he loves with his money, body, and life, as the wise man said: "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it" (Shir HaShirim 8:7), and it is written about Yehonatan and David: "for he loved him as he loved his own soul" (Shmuel 20:17), and "wonderful was your love to me, surpassing the love of women" (Shmuel II 1:26).