Katonti...

KATONTI’ OF ALL THE MERCIES, AND OF ALL THE TRUTH. “My merits have diminished as a consequence of all the kindness and truth which You have already shown me. For this reason I am afraid lest I have become depraved by sin since the time You made these promises to me, and this may cause me to be delivered into the hand of Esau.” This is Rashi’s language. But it is not a correct interpretation because it does not fit into the language of the verse, [for katan refers to size, not quantity]. Furthermore, Jacob said afterwards, And Thou saidst: I will surely do thee good and make thy seed as the sand of the sea, but of what efficacy would this promise be if subsequent sin caused him to be deprived of it? Moreover, Jacob mentioned two promises which the Holy One, blessed be He, had made him — one in Beth-el, and one in Haran — and he first stated the promise given to him in Haran, O Eternal, who saidst unto me: Return unto thy country, and to thy kindred, and I will do to thee good, this being what was said to him when he was about to leave the house of Laban: Return unto the land of thy fathers, and to thy kindred, and I will be with thee. Now following this promise, G-d did not bestow good upon Jacob to account for all these mercies and truths of which Jacob mentioned that his merits should be diminished on account of them.
The word katonti rather means that he is too small to have been worthy of all the mercies which He had done for him. Likewise, How shall Jacob stand? for he is small, that is, too small to be able to bear all that was decreed against him. And so the Rabbis said in Bereshith Rabbah, “Katonti. Rabbi Abba said that it means ‘I am not worthy.’” Now hachasadim (the mercies) are the kindnesses which G-d did for him without having vowed to do them, and ha’emeth (the truth) is the kindness which He promised him and fulfilled. Jacob thus said that he was unworthy of G-d’s promising him and performing those kindnesses which He promised him, nor was he worthy of those other many kindnesses which He did for him without having promised to do them.
But I have not understood the opinion of Onkelos who translated, “from all the mercies and all the good,” when he is accustomed to translate chesed ve’emeth as “mercy and truth.” Perhaps Onkelos is rendering chasadim here as referring to Jacob’s rescue, that is, the many times He had saved him from his troubles. Onkelos rendered emeth as referring to all this good which Jacob possessed, for G-d had given him sons and daughters, wealth and belongings, and honor.
The correct interpretation appears to me to be that long-lasting kindnesses such as children and wealth are called emeth, which is from the root of emunah (faith), just as: ‘Vene’eman’ (and confirmed shall be) thy house and thy kingdom forever, which connotes assured existence; His bread shall be given, his waters ‘ne’emanim’ (shall be sure), just as the prophet said, Wilt thou indeed be unto me as a deceitful brook as waters that are not ‘ne’emanu’ (sure)?