Repairing: Asking Forgiveness and Making Reparation
עבירות שבין אדם למקום יוה"כ מכפר עבירות שבין אדם לחבירו אין יוה"כ מכפר עד שירצה את חבירו
For transgressions between a person and God, Yom Kippur atones; however, for transgressions between a person and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases the other person.
(ט) אֵין הַתְּשׁוּבָה וְלֹא יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים מְכַפְּרִין אֶלָּא עַל עֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם כְּגוֹן מִי שֶׁאָכַל דָּבָר אָסוּר אוֹ בָּעַל בְּעִילָה אֲסוּרָה וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן. אֲבָל עֲבֵרוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ כְּגוֹן הַחוֹבֵל אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ אוֹ הַמְקַלֵּל חֲבֵרוֹ אוֹ גּוֹזְלוֹ וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן אֵינוֹ נִמְחַל לוֹ לְעוֹלָם עַד שֶׁיִּתֵּן לַחֲבֵרוֹ מַה שֶּׁהוּא חַיָּב לוֹ וִירַצֵּהוּ. אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהֶחֱזִיר לוֹ מָמוֹן שֶׁהוּא חַיָּב לוֹ צָרִיךְ לְרַצּוֹתוֹ וְלִשְׁאל מִמֶּנּוּ שֶׁיִּמְחל לוֹ. אֲפִלּוּ לֹא הִקְנִיט אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ אֶלָּא בִּדְבָרִים צָרִיךְ לְפַיְּסוֹ וְלִפְגֹּעַ בּוֹ עַד שֶׁיִּמְחל לוֹ. לֹא רָצָה חֲבֵרוֹ לִמְחל לוֹ מֵבִיא לוֹ שׁוּרָה שֶׁל שְׁלֹשָׁה בְּנֵי אָדָם מֵרֵעָיו וּפוֹגְעִין בּוֹ וּמְבַקְּשִׁין מִמֶּנּוּ. לֹא נִתְרַצָּה לָהֶן מֵבִיא לוֹ שְׁנִיָּה וּשְׁלִישִׁית. לֹא רָצָה מְנִיחוֹ וְהוֹלֵךְ לוֹ וְזֶה שֶׁלֹּא מָחַל הוּא הַחוֹטֵא. וְאִם הָיָה רַבּוֹ הוֹלֵךְ וּבָא אֲפִלּוּ אֶלֶף פְּעָמִים עַד שֶׁיִּמְחל לוֹ:
(9) Neither repentance nor the Day of Atonement atone for any save for sins committed between man and God, for instance, one who ate forbidden food, or had forbidden coition and the like; but sins between man and man, for instance, one injures his neighbor, or curses his neighbor or plunders him, or offends him in like matters, is ever not absolved unless he makes restitution of what he owes and begs the forgiveness of his neighbor. And, although he make restitution of the monetory debt, he is obliged to pacify him and to beg his forgiveness. Even he offended not his neighbor in aught save in words, he is obliged to appease him and implore him till he be forgiven by him. If his neighbor refuses a committee of three friends to forgive him, he should bring to implore and beg of him; if he still refuses he should bring a second, even a third committee, and if he remains obstinate, he may leave him to himself and pass on, for the sin then rests upon him who refuses forgiveness. But if it happened to be his master, he should go and come to him for forgiveness even a thousand times till he does forgive him.10Ibid. 85b; Baba Kamma, 92a; Yoma, 87b. C.
אמר ר' יצחק כל המקניט את חבירו אפילו בדברים צריך לפייסו שנאמר (משלי ו, א) בני אם ערבת לרעך תקעת לזר כפיך נוקשת באמרי פיך עשה זאת אפוא בני והנצל כי באת בכף רעך לך התרפס ורהב רעיך אם ממון יש בידך התר לו פסת יד ואם לאו הרבה עליו ריעים
§ Rabbi Yitzḥak said: One who angers his friend, even only verbally, must appease him,as it is stated: “My son, if you have become a guarantor for your neighbor, if you have struck your hands for a stranger, you are snared by the words of your mouth…Do this now, my son, and deliver yourself, seeing you have come into the hand of your neighbor. Go, humble yourself [hitrapes] and urge [rehav] your neighbor” (Proverbs 6:1–3). This should be understood as follows: If you have money that you owe him, open the palm of [hater pisat] your hand to your neighbor and pay the money that you owe; and if not, if you have sinned against him verbally, increase [harbe] friends for him, i.e., send many people as your messengers to ask him for forgiveness.
Yom Kippur 2, Rav Hutner
(Mishna, end of Yoma) For on this day you will atone for all your transgressions - before God you will be purified (Levicus 16:30). Yom Kippur atones only for sins between a person and God, but sins between a person and her colleagues cannot be atoned for until she appeases her colleague.
4… Repairing what has been broken is, in a sense, an offshoot of the principle of abandoning the sin. For abandoning the sin means preventing the propagation of the sinful act into the future. Similarly, we see that as long as the destructive effects of the sinful act remain in the world, a penitent is obligated to repair them, so that the evil and brokenness of the sinful act remain only in the past. So just as abandoning the sin prevents the sinful act itself henceforth, so too the repairing of what is broken cuts off the branches of the sinful act that reach into the future.
7… The exclusion of transgressions against another person from the general purification of Yom Kippur is due to the power of the criterion of “before God” (השם לפני (that describes this purification… The inner understanding here penetrates to the content of the matter and raises in its hands the feeling that the specificity of “before God” that is specified for the purity of Yom Kippur signifies a known property of this purity. And it is on account of this property that transgressions against another person are removed from this purification.
Every occurrence of the expression “before God” in the Torah refers to a place sanctified by a specific sanctity corresponding to the meaning of the matter. Sometimes the meaning is the inner sanctum, sometimes the Temple, sometimes outer courtyard, and sometimes Jerusalem as a whole, etc - each case according to the matter. The only me that this expression “before God” appears in the Torah not in the context of a specific location is in the purification of Yom Kippur: “you will be purified before God” (תטהרו‘ ה לפני .(It is therefore clear that since the context of the purification of Yom Kippur the expression “before God” does not signify a specific location in the world, it must signify a specific location in the soul.
And this is not all. Locations that are sanctified for Divine service are only called “before God” if they are sanctified with the sanctity of collective worship, while the location of private worship is not called “before God”. (There is no laying of hands on sacrifices offered at private altars, because laying of hands occurs only “before God”.) So too, it is impossible for a human soul to stand “before God” outside of the point in which it constitutes an indivisible component of the complete body known as the gathered collective of the entirety of Israel (ישראל כנסת כלליות ציבור ). But all of those points at which the soul divides a region for itself, have the status of a private altar - which despite being locations where sacrifices are offered, cannot access the status of “before God”.
Therefore, transgressions against another person, which nullify and divide the mutual combination of souls, are incompatible with the possibility of standing “before God”. And the purification of Yom Kippur, whose location is only “before God”, excludes from its bounds transgressions against another person. This is what we teach (in the Mishna - JR), that “transgressions against another person will not be atoned for on Yom Kippur until she appeases her friend”. This is because through the appeasement the alienation [between the pares] is annulled and the combination [of souls] comes to be, and a person gains the capacity to place herself “before God” and be purified - “before God you will be purified”.
Reworking: Purging the Self of Sin/Becoming One Who Will Not Sin
היכי דמי בעל תשובה אמר רב יהודה כגון שבאת לידו דבר עבירה פעם ראשונה ושניה וניצל הימנה מחוי רב יהודה באותה אשה באותו פרק באותו מקום
What are the circumstances that demonstrate that one has completely repented? Rav Yehuda said: For example, the prohibited matter came to his hand a first time and a second time, and he was saved from it, thereby proving that he has completely repented. Rav Yehuda demonstrated what he meant: If one has the opportunity to sin with the same woman he sinned with previously, at the same time and the same place, and everything is aligned as it was that first time when he sinned, but this time he overcomes his inclination, it proves his repentance is complete, and he is forgiven. this of himself:
(א) אֵי זוֹ הִיא תְּשׁוּבָה גְּמוּרָה. זֶה שֶׁבָּא לְיָדוֹ דָּבָר שֶׁעָבַר בּוֹ וְאֶפְשָׁר בְּיָדוֹ לַעֲשׂוֹתוֹ וּפֵרַשׁ וְלֹא עָשָׂה מִפְּנֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה. לֹא מִיִּרְאָה וְלֹא מִכִּשְׁלוֹן כֹּחַ. כֵּיצַד. הֲרֵי שֶׁבָּא עַל אִשָּׁה בַּעֲבֵרָה וּלְאַחַר זְמַן נִתְיַחֵד עִמָּהּ וְהוּא עוֹמֵד בְּאַהֲבָתוֹ בָּהּ וּבְכֹחַ גּוּפוֹ וּבַמְּדִינָה שֶׁעָבַר בָּהּ וּפָרַשׁ וְלֹא עָבַר זֶהוּ בַּעַל תְּשׁוּבָה גְּמוּרָה.
(1) What is complete repentance? He who once more had in it in his power to repeat a violation, but separated himself therefrom, and did not do it because of repentance, not out of fear or lack of strength. For example? One who knew a woman sinfully, and after a process of time he met her again privately, and he still loving her as theretofore, and he being in a state of potency, and the meeting is in the same land where the sin was first committed, if he parted without sinning, he has attained complete repentance.
(ג) כָּל הַמִּתְוַדֶּה בִּדְבָרִים וְלֹא גָּמַר בְּלִבּוֹ לַעֲזֹב הֲרֵי זֶה דּוֹמֶה לְטוֹבֵל וְשֶׁרֶץ בְּיָדוֹ שֶׁאֵין הַטְּבִילָה מוֹעֶלֶת לוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּשְׁלִיךְ הַשֶּׁרֶץ. וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר וּמוֹדֶה וְעֹזֵב יְרֻחָם. וְצָרִיךְ לִפְרֹט אֶת הַחֵטְא שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמות לב לא) "אָנָּא חָטָא הָעָם הַזֶּה חֲטָאָה גְדלָה וַיַּעֲשׂוּ לָהֶם אֱלֹקֵי זָהָב":
(3) He who confesses by speech but has not his heart's consent to abandon his erstwhile conduct, behold him, he is like one taking an immersion of purification and in his grasp is an impure creeping thing, when he knows the immersion to be of no value till he cast away the impure creeping thing. Even so it is advised to do, saying: "But whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall shall obtain mercy" (Pro. 28. 13). In confessing to God, it is obligatory to name the sin, even as it is said: "Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them a god of gold" (Ex. 32.31).3Ta’anit, 16a; Yoma, 86b. C.
(ד) מִדַּרְכֵי הַתְּשׁוּבָה לִהְיוֹת הַשָּׁב צוֹעֵק תָּמִיד לִפְנֵי הַשֵּׁם בִּבְכִי וּבְתַחֲנוּנִים וְעוֹשֶׂה צְדָקָה כְּפִי כֹּחוֹ וּמִתְרַחֵק הַרְבֵּה מִן הַדָּבָר שֶׁחָטָא בּוֹ וּמְשַׁנֶּה שְׁמוֹ כְּלוֹמַר אֲנִי אַחֵר וְאֵינִי אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ שֶׁעָשָׂה אוֹתָן הַמַּעֲשִׂים וּמְשַׁנֶּה מַעֲשָׂיו כֻּלָּן לְטוֹבָה וּלְדֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה וְגוֹלֶה מִמְּקוֹמוֹ. שֶׁגָּלוּת מְכַפֶּרֶת עָוֹן מִפְּנֵי שֶׁגּוֹרֶמֶת לוֹ לְהִכָּנַע וְלִהְיוֹת עָנָו וּשְׁפַל רוּחַ:
(4) Among the ways of repentance are, for the penitent to continue to cry out in tearful supplication before the Name, to bestow alms according to his means, and to distance himself exceedingly from the thing wherein he sinned, to have his indentity changed, as if saying: "I am now another person, and not that person who perpetrated those misdeeds", to completely change his conduct for the good and straight path, and to exile himself from his place of residence, for exile atones iniquity, because it leads him to submissiveness and to be meek and humble-spirited.4Rosh-ha-Shanah, 16b. C.
Returning: Returning to the Good and the Almost-Forgotten in You
Rosh Hashana 20, Rav Hutner
3. The Torah reports that there were two voices at Sinai: the voice of the ten commandments, and the voice of the shofar. Were it not for Nachmanides, we would never have thought of these two voices as distinct. But through Nachmanides’s words, we come to appreciate that these voices - which are both true voices of Sinai - are similar in some ways, and different in others. Nachmanides teaches that the voice of the ten commandments is the “great voice which did not increase,” while the voice of the shofar “grew louder and louder.” As people whose souls stood at Sinai, we may feel our hearts stir within us as we begin to grasp the nature of the voices’ constancy and crescendo.
Exodus 19:19 And the voice of shofar became increasingly loud. Moses would speak, and God would answer him in thunder.
Deuteronomy 5:18 God spoke these words to your entire assembly, surrounded by cloud and flame and darkness - in a great voice, which did not increase. And God wrote them on two tablets of stone, and gave them to me.
4. The starting-point for grasping this issue is in the law of honoring the Torah, which obligates us to honor an elder who has forgotten his learning. This requirement to honor an elder who has forgotten his learning expresses the principle of the Torah’s power to leave a trace. For an elder who has forgotten his learning retains nothing from that learning other than the trace engraved upon him by the Torah.
Bavli Brachot 8b One must be careful with the honor of an elder who forgot his learning against his will - for both the complete and the broken tablets were kept in the ark.
“Even after a righteous person leaves a city, her trace is apparent.” For aer the body of a righteous person disappears, the life of the trace she le behind begins. The holiness of the Torah that remains in an elder who has forgotten his Torah is the holiness of the trace of the Torah.
And the obligation to honor an elder who has forgotten his learning is itself derived from the fact that the broken first tablets were placed in the Ark of the Covenant. Those broken tablets are analogous to the elder who has forgotten his learning - for the physical letters took flight, leaving behind only the holiness of the trace, like that which remains after the righteous person leaves a city…
Genesis 28:10 Jacob le Be'er-Sheva and traveled towards Haran.
Rashi to Genesis 28:10 Why did the Torah mention Jacob's departure from Be'er Sheva, when it could have simply said that he traveled towards Haran? To teach that the departure of a righteous person from a place leaves a trace.
5. Having observed this process in the original moments of the giving of the Torah, we can extend this line of thought throughout all the generations of the existence of the Torah among the people Israel. With each step of forgetting of Torah from one generation to the next, existing Torah transforms into a trace of Torah. What emerges from this is that the Torah that we possess today has two components: an existing Torah known by this generation, and the trace of the Torah known by all previous generations, from the first tablets to the generation just before ours.
6. And when we consider the secrets of the end of days, the time when we will remember all the Torah that has been forgotten, this remembering will occur through the resurrection of the traces. In other words, just as the the forgetting of Torah should be understood as a passage from existence to a trace, so too in the other direction: the restoration of the forgotten Torah will be through its passage from a trace into something that again exists.
7. Here we arrive at the overarching power of the shofar in the lives and history of the Jewish people. The general, overarching power of the shofar in the history of the Jewish people is that it is in the shofar’s power to resurrect traces, to make the trace of a thing into the thing itself, to bring the righteous person back to the city through the trace that she le behind. It is no one less than Maimonides who says this, when he describes the voice of the shofar as declaring, “Wake, you sleepers from your sleep! You who slumber, arouse yourselves from your slumber!” For sleep and slumber are the states in which life is not in full existence, but merely a trace. When a sleeping person opens his eyes and wakes, the process is reversed: the trace of life becomes life itself. And this is accomplished by the shofar.
Maimonides, Laws of Repentance ch. 3 It is as if the voice of the shofar cries out, "Wake, up, wake up, you sleepers, from your sleep! You who slumber, arouse yourselves from your slumber! Search through your deeds, repent, and remember your Maker!"
Lights of Repentance 7:1, Rav Kook
The design of teshuvah is such that it transforms all sins and their terrors, their spiritual sufferings and their uglinesses, into reflections/concepts of Eden and personal fulfillment, because through them a person is shined with depth of thought regarding the hate of evil, and the love of good gets strengthened with a mighty strength, behold s/he enjoys the happiness of regret, that he feels that the specific delightof the Divine regarding the ba'alei teshuvah, the most pleasant of all, with the taste of the delicate/delicacy of a broken heart and the sadness of soul, which connects itself with deep faith of the rescuing and salvation of the worlds.