כיבוד אב ואם

(3) You shall each revere his mother and his father, and keep My sabbaths: I the LORD am your God.

The Sages taught: What is fear and what is honor? Fear of one’s father includes the following: One may not stand in his father’s fixed place, and may not sit in his place, and may not contradict his statements by expressing an opinion contrary to that of his father, and he may not choose sides when his father argues with someone else. What is considered honor? He gives his father food and drink, dresses and covers him, and brings him in and takes him out for all his household needs.

The roots and origins of this mitzva are that it is right and beneficial for a person to recognise and acknowledge when someone does good for them, and to act generously and kindly in return. And he should not disgrace himself by being stubborn and distant and closed of heart, for this is a poor and wholly despicable trait in the eyes of God and man. And he should meditate on the fact that his father and mother are the reason for his existence in the world, and that therefore it is truly incumbent upon him to act respectfully and in ways that will benefit and help them. For they brought him into the world, and showed him all manner of kindness and affections when he was young. And when he properly internalises and strengthens this trait in his soul, there will grow from it a recognition of the goodness and kindness of God. For he is the ultimate reason for our existence, and for the existence of our forefathers stretching all the way back to Adam HaRishon. And he brought the individual into the air of the world, and provided all his needs, and enabled him to have clothing and completeness of body. He also gave him a mind capable of knowledge and understanding, and without this act of kindness he would live in darkness and ignorance. Reflecting on all of this, he will understand the need for thought and care in his worship and service of God. ...

Similarly, it is stated: “A man shall fear his mother and his father” (Leviticus 19:3), and it is stated: “You shall fear the Lord your God and Him you shall serve” (Deuteronomy 6:13). The verse equates the fear of one’s father and mother to the fear of the Omnipresent...The Sages taught: There are three partners in the forming of a person: The Holy One, Blessed be He, who provides the soul, and his father and his mother. When a person honors his father and mother, the Holy One, Blessed be He, says: I ascribe credit to them as if I dwelt between them and they honor Me as well.

When Rav Dimi came from Eretz Yisrael to Babylonia, he said: Once Dama ben Netina was wearing a fine cloak [sirkon] of gold, and was sitting among the nobles of Rome. And his mother came to him and tore his garment from him and smacked him on the head and spat in his face, and yet he did not embarrass her.

(Abraham) took the wood and placed it upon the back of his son Isaac, and he took the fire and the knife in his hand, and they went both of them together. Isaac said to his father: O my father ! Behold the fire and the wood, where is the lamb for the burnt offering? He replied to him: My son! Thou art the lamb for the burnt offering...Isaac said to his father Abraham: O my father ! Bind for me my two hands, and my two feet, so that I do not curse thee; for instance, a word may issue from the mouth because of the violence and dread of death, and I shall be found to have slighted || the precept, "Honour thy father" (Ex. xx. 12).

You shall each revere his mother and his father, and keep My sabbaths: I the LORD am your God.

(3) ואת שבתתי תשמרו AND MY SABBATHS SHALL YE KEEP — Scripture places the commandment of observing the Sabbath immediately after that of fearing one’s father in order to suggest the following: “Although I admonish you regarding the fear due to your father, yet if he bids you: "Desecrate the Sabbath", do not listen to him” — and the same is the case with any of the other commandments. This, it is evident, is the meaning since Scripture adds —

Terah was a worshipper of idols. One time he had to travel to a place, and he left Abraham in charge of his store. When a man would come in to buy [idols], Abraham would ask: How old are you? They would reply: fifty or sixty. Abraham would then respond: Woe to him who is sixty years old and worships something made today - the customer would be embarrassed, and would leave. A woman entered carrying a dish full of flour. She said to him: this is for you, offer it before them. Abraham took a club in his hands and broke all of the idols, and placed the club in the hands of the biggest idol. When his father returned, he asked: who did all of this? Abraham replied: I can't hide it from you - a woman came carrying a dish of flour and told me to offer it before them. I did, and one of them said 'I will eat it first,' and another said 'I will eat it first.' The biggest one rose, took a club, and smashed the rest of them. Terah said: what, do you think you can trick me? They don't have cognition! Abraham said: Do your ears hear what your mouth is saying?

(10) If one's father or mother has become mentally disordered, he should make an effort to behave toward them according to their state of mind until they will be shown mercy [and get cured]. But if he is unable to endure the strain any longer, because they have become utterly insane, he may leave them and go elsewhere, charging others to take proper care of them.

Rav Asi had an elderly mother. She said to him: I want jewelry, and he made jewelry for her. She said to him: I want a man whom I can marry, and he said to her: I will seek one for you. She said to him: I want a husband who is as handsome as you. At this point, he realized that she was senile, and that he would be unable to fulfill all her requests. Therefore, he left her and went to Eretz Yisrael. Rav Asi heard that she was following him to Eretz Yisrael. He came before Rabbi Yoḥanan and said to him: What is the halakha with regard to leaving Eretz Yisrael to go outside of Eretz Yisrael? Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: It is prohibited. Rav Asi further asked: If one is going to greet his mother, what is the halakha? Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: I do not know. Rav Asi waited a little while, and then came back to him. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Asi, you are evidently determined to leave. May the Omnipresent return you in peace, and he said no more. Rav Asi came before Rabbi Elazar, because he did not know how to interpret Rabbi Yoḥanan’s statement. He said to Rabbi Elazar: God forbid, perhaps he is angry with me that I wished to leave? Rabbi Elazar said to him: What exactly did he say to you? Rav Asi said to him: May the Omnipresent return you in peace. Rabbi Elazar said to him: If it is so that he was angry, he would not have blessed you. Rabbi Yoḥanan certainly gave you permission to leave. In the meantime, while he was traveling to meet her, Rav Asi heard that her coffin was coming, i.e., his mother had died and her coffin was being brought to Eretz Yisrael. He said: Had I known I would not have left, as after his mother’s death he was not obligated to leave Eretz Yisrael to honor her.