שִׁבְעָה דְבָרִים בַּגֹּלֶם וְשִׁבְעָה בֶחָכָם. חָכָם אֵינוֹ מְדַבֵּר בִּפְנֵי מִי שֶׁהוּא גָדוֹל מִמֶּנּוּ בְחָכְמָה וּבְמִנְיָן, וְאֵינוֹ נִכְנָס לְתוֹךְ דִּבְרֵי חֲבֵרוֹ, וְאֵינוֹ נִבְהָל לְהָשִׁיב, שׁוֹאֵל כָּעִנְיָן וּמֵשִׁיב כַּהֲלָכָה, וְאוֹמֵר עַל רִאשׁוֹן רִאשׁוֹן וְעַל אַחֲרוֹן אַחֲרוֹן, וְעַל מַה שֶּׁלֹּא שָׁמַע, אוֹמֵר לֹא שָׁמָעְתִּי, וּמוֹדֶה עַל הָאֱמֶת. וְחִלּוּפֵיהֶן בַּגֹּלֶם:
Seven things are [found] in an unformed person and seven in a wise person. A wise person does not speak in front of someone who is greater than him in wisdom or in number; and he does not interrupt the words of his fellow; and is not impulsive in answering; and he asks to the point and answers as is proper; and he speaks to the first [point] first and the last [point] last; and about that which he has not heard [anything], says, "I have not heard [anything]"; and he concedes to the truth. And their opposites [are the case] with an unformed person.
(ב) וְאַל תִּתְחַבֵּר לָרָשָׁע. שֶׁכָּךְ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים, כָּל הַמִּתְדַּבֵּק לָרְשָׁעִים אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינוֹ עוֹשֶׂה כְּמַעֲשֵׂיהֶם נוֹטֵל שָׂכָר כַּיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶם. לְמַה הַדָּבָר דּוֹמֶה, לְנִכְנָס לְבֵיתוֹ שֶׁל בּוּרְסִי, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁלֹּא לָקַח מִמֶּנּוּ כְּלוּם, מִכָּל מָקוֹם רֵיחַ רַע קָלַט וְהוֹצִיא עִמּוֹ:
(2) "do not befriend an evildoer": As thus stated the sages, "Anyone who clings to evildoers - even though he does not act like them - gets retribution similar to them. To what is this matter like? To one who enters the house of a tanner - even though he doesn't take anything with him, nonetheless, he absorbed the foul smell and brings it out with him."
Kos Eliyahu, Pesach Haggadah, Magid, The Four Sons 5:1
(1) Sh’ayno yodeah lishol - The one who doesn’t know to ask: ...
Why does the Haggadah say, aht p’tach lo, “You shall open for him”? The language here should have been the same as the Bible, hagayd lo… “you shall tell him” or it should have been the same language used to offer the answer to the wise son, emor lo, “You shall say to him.”
And yet another question: the verse goes on to say, “It is because of this that the Lord did for me when I went forth from Egypt.” The Torah should have specified what it is that God did for Israel when they left Egypt rather than just alluding to it.
Since each of the four children is supposed to ask and only the fourth child doesn’t do so, we provoke him by acting in a strange fashion. That is why the Haggadah says Aht p’tach lo, “You open it for him.” Since he does not ask questions by himself you must get him to open up and ask questions. Give him the space to ask questions. From the way you speak to him he will know about what to ask questions. When you say to him “Because of this,” he will respond, “Why did you say ‘This’ since there is both matzah and maror on the table? Which one are you talking about – the matzah or the maror?”And when you say to him, “Which the Lord did for me,” he will respond by saying, “what exactly did God do for you?” That is why the biblical verse is written in this fashion – to encourage the fourth child to ask questions! He must ask questions so that we can answer questions in telling the story of the Exodus to him.