קָטֹ֜נְתִּי מִכֹּ֤ל הַחֲסָדִים֙ וּמִכׇּל־הָ֣אֱמֶ֔ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֖יתָ אֶת־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֣י בְמַקְלִ֗י עָבַ֙רְתִּי֙ אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֣ן הַזֶּ֔ה וְעַתָּ֥ה הָיִ֖יתִי לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃
I am unworthy of all the kindness that You have so steadfastly shown Your servant: with my staff alone I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps.
הַצִּילֵ֥נִי נָ֛א מִיַּ֥ד אָחִ֖י מִיַּ֣ד עֵשָׂ֑ו כִּֽי־יָרֵ֤א אָנֹכִי֙ אֹת֔וֹ פֶּן־יָב֣וֹא וְהִכַּ֔נִי אֵ֖ם עַל־בָּנִֽים׃
Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; else, I fear, he may come and strike me down, mothers and children alike.
קטנתי מכל החסדים. נִתְמַעֲטוּ זְכֻיּוֹתַי עַל יְדֵי הַחֲסָדִים וְהָאֱמֶת שֶׁעָשִׂיתָ עִמִּי, לְכָךְ אֲנִי יָרֵא, שֶׁמָּא מִשֶּׁהִבְטַחְתַּנִי נִתְקַלְקַלְתִּי בְחֵטְא וְיִגְרֹם לִי לְהִמָּסֵר בְּיַד עֵשָׂו (שבת ל"ב):
קטנתי מכל החסדים I AM TOO UNWORTHY OF ALL THE MERCIES (This may be rendered “I am small — unworthy — because of all the kindnesses) — My merits are diminished in consequence of all the kindness and truth which You have already shown me. For this reason I am afraid: perhaps, since You made these promises to me, I have become depraved (נתקלקלתי) by sin (another version of Rashi has נתלכלכתי, I have become defiled by sin) and this may cause me to be delivered unto Esau’s power (Shabbat 32a).
ומכל האמת. אֲמִתַּת דְּבָרֶיךָ, שֶׁשָּׁמַרְתָּ לִי כָּל הַבְטָחוֹת שֶׁהִבְטַחְתַּנִי:
ומכל האמת [my merits are diminished in consequence] OF ALL THE TRUTH — of the true fulfillment (אמיתת) of Your promises — because You have already kept all the promises You made me
סָבַר לַהּ כִּי הָא דְּאָמַר רַבִּי יַנַּאי: לְעוֹלָם אַל יַעֲמוֹד אָדָם בְּמָקוֹם סַכָּנָה וְיֹאמַר: עוֹשִׂין לִי נֵס, שֶׁמָּא אֵין עוֹשִׂין לוֹ נֵס. וְאִם תִּימְצֵי לוֹמַר עוֹשִׂין לוֹ נֵס — מְנַכִּין לוֹ מִזְּכִיּוֹתָיו. אָמַר רַב חָנָן: מַאי קְרָא — דִּכְתִיב: ״קָטֹנְתִּי מִכֹּל הַחֲסָדִים וּמִכׇּל הָאֱמֶת״.
The Gemara explains: Rav Adda bar Ahava holds in accordance with this statement, as Rabbi Yannai said: A person should never stand in a place of danger and say: A miracle will be performed for me, and I will escape unharmed, lest a miracle is not performed for him. And if you say that a miracle will be performed for him, they will deduct it from his merits. Rav Ḥanan said: What is the verse that alludes to this idea? As it is written: “I have become small from all the mercies and all the truth that You have showed Your servant” (Genesis 32:11). In other words, the more benevolence one receives from God, the more his merit is reduced.
קטנתי. כמו גם יכלתי. והטעם פחות אני וקטן עד שתעשה עמי כל החסדים. וכבר פירשתי חסד ואמת:
I AM NOT WORTHY. Katonti (I am not worthy) is vocalized like yakholti (I have prevailed) in gam yakholti (Gen. 30:8). The meaning of our verse is: I am insignificant and of little worth for you to have done all these merciful deeds for me. I have already explained the meaning of mercy and truth.
מיד אחי מיד עשו. מִיַּד אָחִי שֶׁאֵין נוֹהֵג עִמִּי כְאָח אֶלָּא כְעֵשָׂו הָרָשָׁע:
מיד אחי מיד עשו FROM THE HAND OF MY BROTHER, FROM THE HAND OF ESAU — from the hand of my brother who does not treat me as a brother should, but as Esau, the wicked.
מיד אחי מיד עשו אם לא אמר רק מיד אחי היה משמע קרובי ואיני אח, לכך אמר מיד עשו, ואם לא אמר אלא מיד עשו משמע עשו דעלמא לכך אמר מיד אחי ומיד עשו.
מיד אחי, מיד עשו, from (the hand of) my brother, from (the hand of) Esau.” If Yaakov had only referred to Esau as “my brother,” it could have referred to any blood relative. If he had referred to Esau only by his name, it could have been understood as referring to anyone named Esau. [Yaakov had used the same caution when spelling out for whom he would serve Lavan for his future wife, i.e. “your younger daughter, Rachel.” (29,18) Ed.]