Episode 13 Lessons from Haman For A Great Marriage The Thinking Jew Podcast

Check out The Thinking Jew Podcast episode 13 for the accompanying audio to this source sheet.

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...משה מן התורה מנין (בראשית ו, ג) בשגם הוא בשר המן מן התורה מנין (בראשית ג, יא) המן העץ אסתר מן התורה מנין (דברים לא, יח) ואנכי הסתר אסתיר מרדכי מן התורה מנין דכתיב (שמות ל, כג) מר דרור ומתרגמינן מירא דכיא:

... They also asked Rav Mattana: From where in the Torah is the existence of Moses [Moshe] alluded to before his birth? He replied that the verse states: “For that he also [beshaggam] is flesh; therefore shall his days be one hundred and twenty years” (Genesis 6:3). The numerical value of beshaggam is the same as that of the Hebrew name Moshe, and it is known that Moses lived a total of 120 years (see Deuteronomy 34:7). They also asked Rav Mattana: From where in the Torah can one find an allusion to the hanging of Haman? He replied: The verse states after Adam ate from the tree of knowledge: “Have you eaten of [hamin] the tree, about which I commanded you that you should not eat?” (Genesis 3:11). Hamin is spelled in the same manner as Haman: Heh, mem, nun. They also asked Rav Mattana: From where in the Torah can one find an allusion to the events involving Esther? He replied to them that the verse states: “Then My anger shall be kindled against them on that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide My face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall come upon them; so that they will say in that day: Have not these evils come upon us because our God is not among us? And I will hide [haster astir] My face on that day for all the evil which they shall have wrought, in that they are turned to other gods” (Deuteronomy 31:17–18). They also asked him: From where in the Torah can one find an allusion to the greatness bestowed upon Mordecai? He replied: As it is written with regard to the anointing oil in the Tabernacle: “And you shall also take the chief spices, of flowing myrrh [mor deror]” (Exodus 30:23); and we translate mor deror into Aramaic as: Mira dakhya, which resembles the name Mordecai.

(ט) וַיִּקְרָ֛א ה' אֱלֹקִ֖ים אֶל־הָֽאָדָ֑ם וַיֹּ֥אמֶר ל֖וֹ אַיֶּֽכָּה׃ (י) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אֶת־קֹלְךָ֥ שָׁמַ֖עְתִּי בַּגָּ֑ן וָאִירָ֛א כִּֽי־עֵירֹ֥ם אָנֹ֖כִי וָאֵחָבֵֽא׃ (יא) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר מִ֚י הִגִּ֣יד לְךָ֔ כִּ֥י עֵירֹ֖ם אָ֑תָּה הֲמִן־הָעֵ֗ץ אֲשֶׁ֧ר צִוִּיתִ֛יךָ לְבִלְתִּ֥י אֲכׇל־מִמֶּ֖נּוּ אָכָֽלְתָּ׃ (יב) וַיֹּ֖אמֶר הָֽאָדָ֑ם הָֽאִשָּׁה֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר נָתַ֣תָּה עִמָּדִ֔י הִ֛וא נָֽתְנָה־לִּ֥י מִן־הָעֵ֖ץ וָאֹכֵֽל׃
(9) God ה' called out to the Human and said to him, “Where are you?” (10) He replied, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” (11) “Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat of the tree from which I had forbidden you to eat?” (12) The Human said, “The woman You put at my side—she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”
וְכׇל־עַבְדֵ֨י הַמֶּ֜לֶךְ אֲשֶׁר־בְּשַׁ֣עַר הַמֶּ֗לֶךְ כֹּרְעִ֤ים וּמִֽשְׁתַּחֲוִים֙ לְהָמָ֔ן כִּי־כֵ֖ן צִוָּה־ל֣וֹ הַמֶּ֑לֶךְ וּמׇ֨רְדֳּכַ֔י לֹ֥א יִכְרַ֖ע וְלֹ֥א יִֽשְׁתַּחֲוֶֽה׃
All the king’s courtiers in the palace gate knelt and bowed low to Haman, for such was the king’s order concerning him; but Mordecai would not kneel or bow low.
וַיַּ֣רְא הָמָ֔ן כִּי־אֵ֣ין מׇרְדֳּכַ֔י כֹּרֵ֥עַ וּמִֽשְׁתַּחֲוֶ֖ה ל֑וֹ וַיִּמָּלֵ֥א הָמָ֖ן חֵמָֽה׃
When Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel or bow low to him, Haman was filled with rage.
וַיִּ֣בֶז בְּעֵינָ֗יו לִשְׁלֹ֤חַ יָד֙ בְּמׇרְדֳּכַ֣י לְבַדּ֔וֹ כִּֽי־הִגִּ֥ידוּ ל֖וֹ אֶת־עַ֣ם מׇרְדֳּכָ֑י וַיְבַקֵּ֣שׁ הָמָ֗ן לְהַשְׁמִ֧יד אֶת־כׇּל־הַיְּהוּדִ֛ים אֲשֶׁ֛ר בְּכׇל־מַלְכ֥וּת אֲחַשְׁוֵר֖וֹשׁ עַ֥ם מׇרְדֳּכָֽי׃
But he disdained to lay hands on Mordecai alone; having been told who Mordecai’s people were, Haman plotted to do away with all the Jews, Mordecai’s people, throughout the kingdom of Ahasuerus.
ודבר שלמה המלך עליו השלום על דבר התשובה. ופרט בו הענין הזה. ופתח פתח דבריו ואמר (שם כ"ח) בעלוץ צדיקים רבה תפארת ובקום רשעים יחופש אדם. פירוש הצדיקים מפארים ומכבדים בני אדם. על כל מעלה טובה הנמצאים בהם. והרשעים מחפשים מומי בני אדם ושגאותם להשפילם. ואף על פי שכבר הזניחו המעשים ההם וחזרו בתשובה. אח"כ אמר (שם שם י"ג) מכסה פשעיו לא יצליח ומודה ועוזב ירוחם. כי אף על פי שאין לבעל התשובה לגלות עונותיו לבני אדם. כמו שיש להבין מה שאמר ובקום רשעים יחופש אדם. אבל חייב להתוודות עליהן. כענין שנאמר (תהלים ל"ב) חטאתי אודיעך ועוני לא כסיתי. ונאמר (ירמיה ב') הנני נשפט אותך על אמרך לא חטאתי. וחכמי ישראל ז"ל פירשו. פעמים שהמכסה פשעיו לא יצליח. כמו בעבירות שבין אדם לחבירו. כי אין לו כפרה עד אשר ישיב הגזלה והחמס והעושק. ועד אשר יבקש מחילה מאשר הציק לו. או הלבין פניו. או ספר עליו לשון הרע. או בעבירות שבין אדם למקום שנתפרסמו לבני אדם כי העושה עבירות בפרהסיא מחלל את השם (ורש"י ז"ל בפ' יוה"כ מפרש בע"א. עי"ש). וחייב להתאונן ולהתאבל עליהם לפני בני אדם לקדש את השם. וזהו שכתוב (ירמיה ל"א) כי אחרי שובי נחמתי ואחרי הודעי ספקתי על ירך. ענין נחמתי החרטה והצער. כי עיקר התשובה במרירות הלב כאשר בארנו. ואחרי הודעי ספקתי על ירך. אחרי שנודעתי לבני אדם והתפרסמו עונותי התאבלתי במעשים נראין לבני אדם. כמו (יחזקאל כ"א) ספוק אל ירך ונאמר (איוב ל"ג) ישור על אנשים ויאמר חטאתי וישר העויתי:
And King Solomon, peace be upon him, spoke about the matter of repentance and specified this topic. And he surely opened his words and said (Proverbs 28:12), "When the righteous exult there is great glory, but when the wicked rise up, men will be sought." The explanation [of this] is that the righteous will exalt and honor people about all the good traits that are found with them; but the wicked seek peoples' blemishes and their mistakes, to put them down - even when they have already left these actions and returned in repentance. Afterwards he said (Proverbs 28:13), "He who covers up his faults will not succeed; but he who confesses and gives them up will find mercy." For even though a penitent should not reveal his iniquities to people - as is to be understood from that which is stated, "but when the wicked rise up, men will be sought" - he is obligated to confess them [privately], like the matter that is stated (Psalms 32:5), "Then I acknowledged my sin to You; I did not cover up my guilt." And it is [also] stated (Jeremiah 2:35), "Lo, I will bring you to judgment for saying, 'I have not sinned.'" But the Sages of Israel, may their memory blessed, explained (Yoma 86b) [that] there are times when he who covers up his faults will not succeed - like with sins between a man and his fellow. As he does not attain atonement until he returns what was stolen, extorted or taken unjustly; and until he asks to be pardoned for that which he annoyed him, embarrassed him or spoke evil speech about him. [Likewise must he not cover up his] sins between a man and the Omnipresent that have become known to people. For one who sins publicly desecrates [God's] name (but Rashi, may his memory be blessed, in the Chapter [entitled] Yom HaKippurim, understands it in a different way. See there.) So he is obligated to grieve and mourn about it in front of people to sanctify [God's] name. And this is [the meaning of] that which is written (Jeremiah 31:19), "Now that I have turned back, I am filled with remorse; now that I am made aware, I strike my thigh." The meaning of, "I am filled with remorse," is regret and pain. For the essence of repentance is bitterness of the heart, as we have explained. And [the meaning of,] "now that I am made aware, I strike my thigh," is after people have been made aware and my iniquities have been publicized, I mourned with actions that were visible to people. [This is] like (Ezekiel 21:17), "strike the thigh"; and it is [also] stated (Job 33:27), "He declares to men, 'I have sinned; I have perverted what was right.'"
וַיִּקְרָ֧א הָֽאָדָ֛ם שֵׁ֥ם אִשְׁתּ֖וֹ חַוָּ֑ה כִּ֛י הִ֥וא הָֽיְתָ֖ה אֵ֥ם כׇּל־חָֽי׃
The Human named his wife Eve, because she was the mother of all the living.