Holy Crap

(15) Go to Pharaoh in the morning, as he is coming out to the water, and station yourself before him at the edge of the Nile, taking with you the rod that turned into a snake.

הנה יצא המימה LO, HE GOETH OUT UNTO THE WATER to ease himself. For he claimed to be a god and asserted that because of his divine power he did not need to ease himself; and therefore he used to rise early and go to the Nile and there eased himself in secret (Midrash Tanchuma, Vaera 14; Exodus Rabbah 9:8).

And the Lord said unto Moses: “Rise up early in the morning, and stand before Pharaoh; lo, he cometh from the water” (Exod. 8:16). Why did Pharaoh go to the waters early in the morning? Because the wicked one boasted that since he was a god, he had no need to go to the water to relieve himself. Therefore he went out early in the morning so that no one would see him performing a demeaning act. That is why the Holy One, blessed be He, said to Moses: Rise up early in the morning, when he must (go out), and say unto him: Thus saith the Lord, the God of the Hebrews … for I will this time send all My plagues upon thy person, etc. (Exod. 9:14). Ordinarily, when a man desires to harm his enemy, he does so unexpectedly lest he be forewarned, but the Holy One, blessed be He, warned the wicked Pharaoh before each plague, as it is said: Behold, I will cause it to rain (ibid., v. 18), Behold, tomorrow will I bring locusts into thy border (ibid. 10:5). And He did so in each instance.

(11) If anyone among you has been rendered unclean by a nocturnal emission, he must leave the camp, and he must not reenter the camp.

(14) With your gear you shall have a spike, and when you have squatted you shall dig a hole with it and cover up your excrement.

(6) Now our gullets are shriveled. There is nothing at all! Nothing but this manna to look to!”

(Bamidbar 11:6) "And now, our souls are dry. There is nothing": R. Shimon said: They said: It (the manna) will burst our bowels. Can a mortal ingest and not expel! They said to R. Shimon: And how do you explain (Devarim 23:14) "And you shall have a spade along with your other implements" (to cover your excrement)? He answered: What the Canaanite merchants sold them they expelled, but the manna, never. As it is written (Psalms 78:25) "Man ate the bread of abirim" — (bread) which was absorbed in the eivarim (the limbs).

Blessed are You, Adonoy our God, King of the Universe, Who formed man with wisdom and created within him openings and hollows. It is obvious and known in the presence of Your glorious throne that if one of them were ruptured, or if one of them were blocked, it would be impossible to exist and stand in Your Presence even for a short while. Blessed are You, Adonoy, Who heals all flesh and performs wonders.

My God! the soul which You bestowed in me is pure; You created it, You formed it, You breathed it into me and You preserve it within me. You will eventually take it from me, and restore it in me in the time to come. So long as the soul is within me I give thanks to You, Adonoy my God, and God of my fathers, Lord of all creatures, Master of all souls. Blessed are You, Adonoy, Who restores souls to dead bodies.

The Gemara asks: With what should one conclude this blessing? Rav said: One should conclude: Blessed…Healer of the sick. Shmuel said: Abba, Rav, has rendered everyone sick. Rather, one should say: Healer of all flesh. Rav Sheshet said: One should conclude: Who performs wondrous deeds. Rav Pappa said: Therefore, let us say them both: Healer of all flesh, Who performs wondrous deeds.