The Blessings of Yaacov to His Children
In Parashat Va’yi’chi, Yaacov calls his children to gather around his deathbed to impart to them his final words. Yaacov’s summons, suggests that what is to follow participates in the prophetic; “hey’as’fu vi’agida la’chem ais asher yikra eschem bi’acharis ha’yamim”. “Gather around and I shall tell you that which will occur to you in the future” (literally in the ‘end of days’). “Hi’kavtzu, v’shim’u bnai Yaacov, v’shim’u el Yisroel avi’chem” “gather and listen the children of Yaacov, and listen to (heed) Israel your father”.
However, strikingly, Yaacov does not continue with a telling of the future. He disconnects, and instead begins imparting that which has become known as “Bir’chot Yaacov, the blessings of Yaacov; a recitation to each of his sons, the family chieftains, something unique and special that is at their essential core; the strengths and weaknesses of each.
The Commentaries observe this striking disconnect, and offer a variety of explanations, including the possibility that Yaacov’s power of the prophetic was, at that moment, taken from him, possibly because someone present was not worthy, or maybe because death or sadness was too close and prophecy requires an environment of joy, maybe because the future should not be foretold, and many more maybes.
There also seems to be a superfluous use of "shim'u"; hear in verse 2. Is it merely poetic, or intentionally instructive?
Also problematic is the nick name given to this sequence, Bir’chot Yaacov, the Blessings of Yaacov, as Yaacov in fact is about to share with his children many critiques and chastisements.
I offer the following approach to the “disconnect” problem, which differs from the traditional “answers”. It also helps to understanding chastisements as blessing. It is an approach I learnt from parenting, and consulting to parents and adult children in family businesses.
Perhaps Yaacov, the pater families, was about to leave, as his final legacy, his experienced and wise view as to the issues and events that would confront his children and their generations in the future; possibly about the strains, jealousies and rewards of family life, possibly about working together, with kindness, in the family business, possibly advise about living in exile, possibly about their family mission. These views, concerns and warnings when expressed by parents to children (of all ages) are not only colored by the life view of the parent, sometimes wise with age, sometimes somewhat obsolete, but are often accompanied by “sagacious parental advice” on exactly how the child or children should (and the parent would) deal with the problems to satisfactorily solve them. Maybe at first Yaacov wanted to do exactly that: tell them how it’s going to be in the future, to caution regarding his concerns and guide them as he saw fit. This may be suggested by the Torah’s repetitious “gather and listen (hear) the children of Yaacov, and listen to (heed) Israel your father”, i.e. are you listening to me, this is for your own good.
But then, perhaps, Yaacov thought better of the matter and changed his mind. He chose to not dispense his wise counsel on how to deal with future problems, but rather to fortify his children. Yaacov re-enforces within each child their attributes of strength and cautions each as to their aspects of weakness. In so doing he would enable and empower each of his children to use their strengths and be aware to avoid their weaknesses in dealing with whatever life would bring their way. He didn’t shun differences, he didn’t closet weaknesses and destructive traits. He gave each child permission to engage their individual personalities, and not be paralyzed by their mistakes and weaknesses.
Instead of telling them the questions and giving them the answers, as he saw it, Yaacov instilled within each of his children the insight, wisdom, confidence, permission and the wherewithal to solve whatever problems might actually arise.
Encouraging this self- knowledge, and the confidence and permission to use it, is the valuable legacy a parent can transmit to a child; a generous Bracha indeed.