Sarah + Hagar: Unbearable Lightness of Being

Genesis Rabbah 45:2

AND SARAI SAID UNTO ABRAM: BEHOLD NOW, THE LORD HATH RESTRAINED ME FROM BEARING, etc. (XVI, 2). Said she: I know the source of my affliction: it is not as people say [of a barren woman], ‘she needs a talisman, she needs a charm,’4 but BEHOLD NOW, THE LORD HATH RESTRAINED ME FROM BEARING. IT MAY BE THAT I SHALL BE BUILDED UP THROUGH HER. It was taught: He who has no child is as though he were dead and demolished. As though dead: And she said unto Jacob: Give me children, or else I am dead (Gen. XXX, 1).5 AS though demolished: IT MAYBE THAT I SHALL BE BUILDED UP THROUGH HER, and only that which is demolished must be builded up. AND ABRAM HEARKENED TO THE VOICE OF SARAI. R. Jose said: To the voice of the Holy Spirit,6 as you read, Now therefore hearken unto the voice of the words of the Lord (X Sam. XV, ).

Genesis Rabba 45:4

AND HE WENT IN UNTO HAGAR, AND SHE CONCEIVED (XVI, 4). R. Levi b. Haytha said: She became pregnant through the first intimacy. R. Eleazar said: A woman never conceives by the first intimacy. An objection is raised: surely it is written, Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father (Gen. XIX, 36)? ...

R. Hanina b. Pazzi observed: Thorns are neither weeded nor sown, yet of their own accord they grow and spring up, whereas how much pain and toil is required before wheat can be made to grow! Why were the matriarchs barren? R. Levi said in R. Shila’s name and R. Helbo in R. Johanan’s name: Because the Holy One, blessed be He, yearns for their prayers and supplications. Thus it is written, O my dove, thou art as the clefts of the rock (S.S. II, 14): Why did I make thee barren? In order that, Let Me see thy countenance, let Me hear thy voice.

Genesis Rabba 45:4

Noblewomen would come to inquire about Sarah’s well being. Sarah told them: “Go and inquire about the well being of that sorry woman [= Hagar].” Hagar said to the noblewomen: “My mistress Sarah’s inner nature is not like her revealed side. She seems to be righteous, but she is not. If she were a righteous woman, would she be barren? See how many years she has not become pregnant, while I became pregnant in a single night!” Sarah would say: “Should I pay any attention to the words of that sorry one, and engage in discourse with her? Rather, I will engage in discourse with her master!” She immediately addressed Abraham (Gen. 16:5): “And Sarai said to Abram, ‘The wrong done me is your fault!’“

Tosefta Sotah 5:12

One who says to her husband, “may heaven be between me and you”, it will be done as a request between them, just as we found with our mother Sarah, who said to our father, Avraham, “G-d will judge between me and you.” Rather, thus she said to him, “throw out this servant and her son.” This teaches that our mother Sarah saw Yishmael build altars, trap grasshoppers and offer them to Avodah Zarah. She said, “what if he will teach Isaac my son to do this and he will go and worship in this way and the name of heaven will be profaned (Hillul Shamayim).”

Avraham said to her, after we have declared a person not guilty/victorious do we then declare him liable? After we made her a queen and a mistress and brought her to this high status shall we throw her out from our house? What will people say about us? Won’t that cause the name of heaven to be profaned?

She said, since you say there may be a Hillul Shamayim in this [if we kick her out] and I say there may be a Hillul Shamayim in this [if we let her stay], G-d will decide between my words and your words. G-d decided between her words and his words as it is written, “Everything that Sarah tells you, obey her.”