(ג) וְיִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל אָהַ֤ב אֶת־יוֹסֵף֙ מִכָּל־בָּנָ֔יו כִּֽי־בֶן־זְקֻנִ֥ים ה֖וּא ל֑וֹ וְעָ֥שָׂה ל֖וֹ כְּתֹ֥נֶת פַּסִּֽים׃ (ד) וַיִּרְא֣וּ אֶחָ֗יו כִּֽי־אֹת֞וֹ אָהַ֤ב אֲבִיהֶם֙ מִכָּל־אֶחָ֔יו וַֽיִּשְׂנְא֖וּ אֹת֑וֹ וְלֹ֥א יָכְל֖וּ דַּבְּר֥וֹ לְשָׁלֹֽם׃ (ה) וַיַּחֲלֹ֤ם יוֹסֵף֙ חֲל֔וֹם וַיַּגֵּ֖ד לְאֶחָ֑יו וַיּוֹסִ֥פוּ ע֖וֹד שְׂנֹ֥א אֹתֽוֹ׃
(3) Now Israel [Jacob] loved Joseph best of all his sons, for he was the child of his old age; and he had made him an ornamented tunic. (4) And when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of his brothers, they hated him so that they could not speak a friendly word to him. (5) Once Joseph had a dream which he told to his brothers; and they hated him even more.
(1) ויראו אחיו כי אותו אהב אביהם, here Jacob had committed an error, allowing the love in his heart for Joseph to be now become visible through preferential treatment of him.
(1) ולא יכלו דברו לשלום, any conversation with Joseph did not revolve around peacefully discussed matters of common interest, but concerned only matters of dispute between them.
(2) ולא יכלו דברו לשלום, even though the brothers had to speak to Joseph pertaining to their business dealings both concerning household problems and problems with the herds and flocks, something imposed upon them by their father’s command to see in him their manager, they did not speak to him concerning any private matters, brotherly concerns.
All Hatred is Pointless Hatred
מקדש ראשון מפני מה חרב מפני ג' דברים שהיו בו ע"ז וגלוי עריות ושפיכות דמים ... אבל מקדש שני שהיו עוסקין בתורה ובמצות וגמילות חסדים מפני מה חרב מפני שהיתה בו שנאת חנם ללמדך ששקולה שנאת חנם כנגד שלש עבירות ע"ז גלוי עריות ושפיכות דמים
Why was the First Temple destroyed? Because of three evils in it: idolatry, immorality, and bloodshed. But why was the Second Temple destroyed, seeing that during the time it stood people occupied themselves with Torah, with observance of mitzvot, and with the practice of tzedakah? Because during the time it stood, baseless hatred (sinat hinam) prevailed. This is to teach you that sinat hinam is deemed as grave as all the three sins of idolatry, immorality, and bloodshed together.
Sfat Emet
There are three sins for which a person must pay with his life: idol worship, murder, and pointless hatred... the tragedy of Yosef represents Lashon Harah and pointless hatred, which are equivalent to the others. Therefore, that tragedy was much more damaging than the first.
משלי יח: מות וחיים ביד לשון.
תרגום עקילס: מיצטרא מכירין מות מכאן וחיים מכאן.
בר סירא אמר: היתה לפניו גחלת ונפח בה וביערה רקק בה וכבת.
"Death and life are in the power [literally, hand] of the tongue." (Proverbs 18:21) Onkelos translated this: You recognize it by its [two] sides — death here, life there. Bar Sira says: If there is a glowing coal and you blow on it, it ignites; if you spit on it, it goes out.
Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler (1892-1953), Michtav M'Eliyahu
When a person views another they should give them the benefit of the doubt and gloss over their sins. But if you hate someone, you will judge them harshly, and think that they hate you as well. Hatred turns reality on its head, only one who loves truth can see reality as it truly is.
Rabbi Marc D. Angel (1945- , Rabbi Emeritus of Congregation Shearith Israel, New York)
[Joseph's] brothers viewed life as a zero sum game where there can only be one winner. If Joseph wins, we lose. If Joseph is destined to have power over us, then we must destroy him or we ourselves will end up losing the game. Hatred and jealousy eat away at the brothers. They think that any gain by Joseph will necessarily entail a loss for them...
Much of the hatred in our world stems from an undeveloped sense of selfhood. People feel jealousy and hatred toward others who they fear are smarter, stronger, or more successful. They think that only one side can win; if the others are succeeding, then we must be losing.
Demagogues thrive on the rhetoric of hatred, stirring up the basest fears of a frightened humanity. They sow feelings of malevolence and mistrust into society. They stereotype the “enemy” and rob them of their human dignity. The rhetoric of violence and hatred leads to violent and hateful acts.
Rabbi Yonatan Aibshitz (1690-1764, Chief Rabbi of Alton, Hamburg)
If they [the brothers and Joseph] were to have spoken with one another, they would have made peace. The main deterrent in every dispute is when there is no communication and one side refuses to listen to the other. If mankind knew how to communicate they would see there is no basis for dispute.
Do not say that repentance is limited to sinful acts, such as fornication, robbery and theft. Just as a man must repent of these, so he must scan and search his evil traits, repenting of anger, hatred, envy, scoffing, greed, vainglory, excessive desire for food, and so on. One must repent of all these failings. They are worse than sinful acts; when a person is addicted to them, he finds it hard to get rid of them. The prophet says: "Let the guilty man give up his way, and the evil man his thoughts." (Isaiah 55:7).