(כג) וַיֹּאמֶר֮ הָֽאָדָם֒ זֹ֣את הַפַּ֗עַם עֶ֚צֶם מֵֽעֲצָמַ֔י וּבָשָׂ֖ר מִבְּשָׂרִ֑י לְזֹאת֙ יִקָּרֵ֣א אִשָּׁ֔ה כִּ֥י מֵאִ֖ישׁ לֻֽקֳחָה־זֹּֽאת׃ (כד) עַל־כֵּן֙ יַֽעֲזָב־אִ֔ישׁ אֶת־אָבִ֖יו וְאֶת־אִמּ֑וֹ וְדָבַ֣ק בְּאִשְׁתּ֔וֹ וְהָי֖וּ לְבָשָׂ֥ר אֶחָֽד׃
(23) And the man said: ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ (24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.
א"ר אלעזר כל אדם שאין לו אשה אינו אדם שנאמר (בראשית ה, ב) זכר ונקבה בראם ויקרא את שמם אדם
Rabbi Elazar said: Any man who does not have a wife is not a man, as it is stated: “Male and female He created them…and called their name Adam” (Genesis 5:2).
Why do you think there is this commandment for a man to have a wife?
Why is there no commandment for a woman to have a husband?
Can you think of any reasons, from your experience, why it 'is not good to be alone'?
-Iggeret ha-Kodesh, 13 C.
“You shall sanctify yourselves and you shall be holy (Lev. 11:44). This teaches that one should sanctify oneself during intercourse. What is the relevance of sanctification here? Rabbi Judah ben Jacob said: It means that one should not act licentiously or obscenely, or with whorish intentions like animals, for this is how animals act.
(ו) ...העונה האמורה בתורה, הטילין בכל יום, הפועלים שתים בשבת, החמרים אחת בשבת, הגמלים אחת לשלשים יום, הספנים אחת לששה חדשים, דברי רבי אליעזר.
(6) ...[The law of providing sexual] pleasure [to one's wife] that is stated in the Torah [is as follows]: one at leisure, daily; laborers, twice a week; donkey drivers, once a week; camel drivers, once every thirty days; navigators every six months; these are the words of Rabbi Eliezer.
(יד) תַּשְׁמִישׁ הַמִּטָּה מֵעֹנֶג שַׁבָּת הוּא. לְפִיכָךְ עוֹנַת תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים הַבְּרִיאִים מְשַׁמְּשִׁין מִלֵּילֵי שַׁבָּת לְלֵילֵי שַׁבָּת.
Sexual relations are considered a dimension of Sabbath pleasure. Therefore Torah scholars fulfill their marital obligations once a week, on the Shabbat.
When you and your wife are engaged in sexual union do not behave lightheartedly and regard this act as vain, idle, improper. Therefore, first introduce her into the mood with gentle words that excite her emotion, appease her mind and delight her with joy. Thus you unite your mind and intention with hers. Say to her words which in part arouse in her passion, closeness, love, will, and erotic desire, and in part evoke in her reverence for God, piety and modesty...Never impose yourself upon her nor force her. For any sexual union without an abundance of passion, love and will, is without the Divine Presence. Do not quarrel with her nor act violently whenever coitus is involved. The Talmud says, "A lion ravishes and then eats and has no shame. So acts the brute: He hits and then cohabits and has no shame." Rather, court and attract her to you first with gracious and seductive, as well as refined and gentle words, so that both your intentions be for the sake of God...Do not hurry in arousing passion. Prolong till she is ready and in a passionate mood. Approach her lovingly and passionately, so that she reaches her orgasm first.
(יט) וְאִשָּׁה כִּי תִהְיֶה זָבָה דָּם יִהְיֶה זֹבָהּ בִּבְשָׂרָהּ שִׁבְעַת יָמִים תִּהְיֶה בְנִדָּתָהּ וְכָל הַנֹּגֵעַ בָּהּ יִטְמָא עַד הָעָרֶב.
(19) And if a woman has a blood flow, flowing from her flesh, she should be in her niddah state for seven days; and whoever touches her will be ritually impure until the evening.
Is there a difference between sex for pleasure and sex for procreation?
Are women protected sexually? How?
Why would Judaism forbid sex during menstruation?
לֹ֣֖א תִּֿנְאָֽ֑ף׃
You shall not commit adultery.
(יג) לא תנאף. אֵין נִיאוּף אֶלָּא בְאֵשֶׁת אִישׁ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר מוֹת יוּמַת הַנּוֹאֵף וְהַנּוֹאָפֶת (ויקרא כ'), וְאוֹמֵר הָאִשָּׁה הַמְנָאֶפֶת תַּחַת אִישָׁהּ תִּקַּח אֶת זָרִים (יחזקאל ט"ז):
(13) לא תנאף THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY — The term ניאוף, “adultery”, is technically only applicable to the case of a married woman, as it is said, (Leviticus 20:10) […the wife of his neighbour], the נואף and the נואפת shall surely be put to death”, and it further states, (Ezekiel 16:32) “The woman that comitteth adultery, that taketh strangers instead of her husband”.
[Some say] the Ramban [Nachmanides], who permits a concubine, in our day when men are morally lax, sleeping with maid servants and forbidden sexual partners, would forbid it…It seems to me the opposite. For this reason the master [Ramban] would permit it, so that people would not commit greater offenses involving karet (excision) from the Torah. For a man with bread in his basket will not have the same burning desire to go after forbidden relations. There are similar rulings where the rabbis have permitted even something forbidden by rabbinic law to prevent a Torah transgression.
Therefore the sin of wasteful emission of semen is not mentioned in the Torah among the list of forbidden coitions, even though it is more heinous than they, and the individual’s sin is greater with regard to the enormity and abundance of the impurity and of the kelipot; he begets and multiplies them to an exceedingly great extent through wasteful emission of semen, even more so than through forbidden coitions….elsewhere, cites a requirement to fast 84 fasts (sunup to sundown, no food or water) for each episode of masturbation.
Masturbation in and of itself, though, should no longer carry the opprobrium it had for our ancestors, both because the original grounds for opposing it are no longer tenable and because it is at least preferable to non- marital sex as a way of dealing with sexual energies before marriage.
[There is] for the Jew an ideal of sexuality. While we know well that most human sexuality hardly approaches this exalted pictures, it does provide us with a point of view. It indicates strongly that we Jews should stand opposed to the current moves toward the "the demystificication" of sexuality, which seeks to define coupling as purely biological function. We are made most fully human by the fact that this act, shared by us with the animal kingdom, can be raised in our consciousness to the rung of the raza de-yihuda - the sublime mystery of union, Sexuality at its fullest is brimming with religious kavanah [intention]: this is a teaching we would be fools to ignore. If we cannot fulfill the ideal, we can begin to approach it.
- Maimonides, Guide for the Perplexed, Chapter 33
God is a burning, raging vibrant inferno. Moses encounters God in a burning bush. The Jews are led through the wilderness of Sinai by a pillar of fire. And in our relationship with God, and with all things outside us, we need to find passion! The Song of Songs challenges us to feel for God and life what two people feel for each other in the heat of passion.
Great sex has you focused entirely on the body of your partner; kosher sex has you bound with the soul of your lover.
Great sex promotes physical exhilaration; kosher sex leads to spiritual integration.
Great sex satisfies a hormonal urge for sexual release; kosher sex caters to a spiritual need for human fusion with another soul.
Great sex consists entirely of motions; kosher sex consists of motions that elicit lasting emotions.
Great sex is making friction; kosher sex is making love.
Great sex is measured while you’re in bed together with your partner; kosher sex is measured in the period thereafter, when you are physically apart but emotionally close.
Great sex can be had even while all one’s barriers and inhibitions are still up; kosher sex is humans at their most vulnerable, when their defenses are down and their heart exposed.
Great sex is an end to an encounter; kosher sex is the beginning of a relationship.
How do you think modern society differs from Judaism in the way it sees sex and human sexuality?
Do you agree with this modern view?
Do you think sex is a purely physical act or does it have elements of spirituality contained within?
Do you think there could be a reason why most religions encourage sex within marriage? Is this still relevant today?
אלא כל מה שאדם רוצה לעשות באשתו עושה משל לבשר הבא מבית הטבח רצה לאוכלו במלח אוכלו צלי אוכלו מבושל אוכלו שלוק אוכלו וכן דג הבא מבית הצייד
Rather, whatever a man wishes to do with his wife he may do. an allegory, it is like meat that comes from the butcher. If he wants to eat it with salt, he may eat it that way. If he wants to eat it roasted, he may eat it roasted. If he wants to eat it cooked, he may eat it cooked. If he wants to eat it boiled, he may eat it boiled. And likewise with regard to fish that come from the fisherman.