מתי ואם מי לריב?

(8)Do not go forth hastily to quarrel. Avoid arguments, lest you not know what to do and how to react in the end, when your friend humiliates you.(9) On a related matter: If you wish to quarrel, then fight your battle with your friend. If a disagreement remains within a limited circle of friends or associates, one can argue more freely, without fear of being humiliated or that the dispute will spin out of control. Even if the parties are unable to arrive at a mutually acceptable solution, a quarrel of this kind will not lead to shame. But even then, do not reveal the secretof another person, (10)lest the listener humiliate you, and your slandering, the negative reports that your opponent will use to besmirch your reputation, will not be rescinded. It will be publicized, and you will remain helpless to prevent it.