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Vayeshev 5786: Recognize, please

(לא) וַיִּקְח֖וּ אֶת־כְּתֹ֣נֶת יוֹסֵ֑ף וַֽיִּשְׁחֲטוּ֙ שְׂעִ֣יר עִזִּ֔ים וַיִּטְבְּל֥וּ אֶת־הַכֻּתֹּ֖נֶת בַּדָּֽם׃ (לב) וַֽיְשַׁלְּח֞וּ אֶת־כְּתֹ֣נֶת הַפַּסִּ֗ים וַיָּבִ֙יאוּ֙ אֶל־אֲבִיהֶ֔ם וַיֹּאמְר֖וּ זֹ֣את מָצָ֑אנוּ הַכֶּר־נָ֗א הַכְּתֹ֧נֶת בִּנְךָ֛ הִ֖וא אִם־לֹֽא׃ (לג) וַיַּכִּירָ֤הּ וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ כְּתֹ֣נֶת בְּנִ֔י חַיָּ֥ה רָעָ֖ה אֲכָלָ֑תְהוּ טָרֹ֥ף טֹרַ֖ף יוֹסֵֽף׃ (לד) וַיִּקְרַ֤ע יַעֲקֹב֙ שִׂמְלֹתָ֔יו וַיָּ֥שֶׂם שַׂ֖ק בְּמׇתְנָ֑יו וַיִּתְאַבֵּ֥ל עַל־בְּנ֖וֹ יָמִ֥ים רַבִּֽים׃

(31) Then they took Joseph’s tunic, slaughtered a kid, and dipped the tunic in the blood. (32) They had the ornamented tunic taken to their father, and they said, “We found this. Recognize, please; is it your son’s tunic or not?” (33) He recognized it, and said, “My son’s tunic! A savage beast devoured him! Joseph was torn by a beast!” (34) Jacob rent his clothes, put sackcloth on his loins, and observed mourning for his son many days.

(כד) וַיְהִ֣י ׀ כְּמִשְׁלֹ֣שׁ חֳדָשִׁ֗ים וַיֻּגַּ֨ד לִֽיהוּדָ֤ה לֵאמֹר֙ זָֽנְתָה֙ תָּמָ֣ר כַּלָּתֶ֔ךָ וְגַ֛ם הִנֵּ֥ה הָרָ֖ה לִזְנוּנִ֑ים וַיֹּ֣אמֶר יְהוּדָ֔ה הוֹצִיא֖וּהָ וְתִשָּׂרֵֽף׃ (כה) הִ֣וא מוּצֵ֗את וְהִ֨יא שָׁלְחָ֤ה אֶל־חָמִ֙יהָ֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר לְאִישׁ֙ אֲשֶׁר־אֵ֣לֶּה לּ֔וֹ אָנֹכִ֖י הָרָ֑ה וַתֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הַכֶּר־נָ֔א לְמִ֞י הַחֹתֶ֧מֶת וְהַפְּתִילִ֛ים וְהַמַּטֶּ֖ה הָאֵֽלֶּה׃ (כו) וַיַּכֵּ֣ר יְהוּדָ֗ה וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ צָֽדְקָ֣ה מִמֶּ֔נִּי כִּֽי־עַל־כֵּ֥ן לֹא־נְתַתִּ֖יהָ לְשֵׁלָ֣ה בְנִ֑י וְלֹֽא־יָסַ֥ף ע֖וֹד לְדַעְתָּֽהּ׃

(24) About three months later, Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the harlot; in fact, she is pregnant from harlotry.” “Bring her out,” said Judah. “She should be burned!” (25) As she was being brought out, she sent this message to her father-in-law, “It’s by the man to whom these belong that I’m pregnant.” And she added, “Recognize, please, whose seal and cord and staff are these?” (26) Judah recognized them, and said, “She is more in the right than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he was not intimate with her again.

הַכֶּר נָא לְמִי הַחֹתֶמֶת, אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לִיהוּדָה אַתָּה אָמַרְתָּ לְאָבִיךָ (בראשית לז, לב): הַכֶּר נָא, חַיֶּיךָ שֶׁתָּמָר אוֹמֶרֶת לְךָ הַכֶּר נָא.

“Recognize, please, whose seal” – Rabbi Yoḥanan said: The Blessed Holy One said to Judah: ‘You said to your father: “Recognize, please” (Genesis 37:32); as you live, Tamar will say to you: “Recognize, please.”’

There is the same language in both scenes–haker na, “Please recognize”–and these are the only two times that this phrase is used in the Torah. So there it is–another connection between the two stories. But the significance of these ‘recognitions’ is not just technical or linguistic–it is much greater than that. For recognition is exactly what has been missing from all of these stories, from Jacob on down.
ParshaNut: 54 Journeys into the World of Torah Commentary by David Kasher
[Tamar] sends Judah’s staff and seal to him with word that she is pregnant by their owner. This time she uses an imperative, though softened with a plea, “Recognize, please!” Judah does recognize the objects, and this transforms everything. He had seen his sons die, and had not recognized God’s justice; he had seen Tamar and had not perceived her right to have a life; he had seen the veiled Tamar and had not known her. But now he recognizes the staff and seal, and understands all that he had failed to see before...
In the more immediate context, Genesis continues with the story of Joseph and Judah. And in this story we realize that the woman who transformed the history of the kingdom of Judah also transformed Judah himself. Judah, whom his mother named in thanksgiving (from wdh, “give thanks”), becomes the one who has acknowledged (from wdh, “confess, acknowledge”) that Tamar was the righteous one. This acknowledgment changes him, and he begins to act more like Tamar. He had left his brothers before he married Batshua, but the rest of Genesis shows him back in Jacob’s family. He had betrayed Joseph out of jealousy, but he henceforth acts out of loyalty to his brother Benjamin and his father, and is willing to stand up to the Egyptians in order to ensure their safety. The very words echo the story of Tamar, for he who had given his staff as pledge to Tamar turns himself into a pledge for the safety of Benjamin (Gen. 43: 9; 44: 32–34).”
Reading the Women of the Bible: A New Interpretation of Their Stories by Tikva Frymer-Kensky

״נָא״. אֵין ״נָא״ אֶלָּא לְשׁוֹן בַּקָּשָׁה. אָמְרָה לֵיהּ: בְּבַקָּשָׁה מִמְּךָ, הַכֵּר פְּנֵי בּוֹרַאֲךָ וְאַל תַּעֲלִים עֵינֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי.

“Recognize, please [na].” The word na is nothing other than a language of request. She said to him: I request of you: Recognize the image of your Creator, and do not avert your eyes from me.