Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu la'asok b’divrei Torah. Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who hallows us with mitzvot, charging us to engage with words of Torah.
1. Recall or imagine a moment of unexpected connection––of any kind––with another person. How long was this connection? How lasting was this connection?
2. To what extent do sexual relationships shape queer identities?
(כג) וַיָּ֣קׇם ׀ בַּלַּ֣יְלָה ה֗וּא וַיִּקַּ֞ח אֶת־שְׁתֵּ֤י נָשָׁיו֙ וְאֶת־שְׁתֵּ֣י שִׁפְחֹתָ֔יו וְאֶת־אַחַ֥ד עָשָׂ֖ר יְלָדָ֑יו וַֽיַּעֲבֹ֔ר אֵ֖ת מַעֲבַ֥ר יַבֹּֽק׃ (כד) וַיִּ֨קָּחֵ֔ם וַיַּֽעֲבִרֵ֖ם אֶת־הַנָּ֑חַל וַֽיַּעֲבֵ֖ר אֶת־אֲשֶׁר־לֽוֹ׃
(כה) וַיִּוָּתֵ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב לְבַדּ֑וֹ וַיֵּאָבֵ֥ק אִישׁ֙ עִמּ֔וֹ עַ֖ד עֲל֥וֹת הַשָּֽׁחַר׃ (כו) וַיַּ֗רְא כִּ֣י לֹ֤א יָכֹל֙ ל֔וֹ וַיִּגַּ֖ע בְּכַף־יְרֵכ֑וֹ וַתֵּ֙קַע֙ כַּף־יֶ֣רֶךְ יַעֲקֹ֔ב בְּהֵאָֽבְק֖וֹ עִמּֽוֹ׃ (כז) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר שַׁלְּחֵ֔נִי כִּ֥י עָלָ֖ה הַשָּׁ֑חַר וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ לֹ֣א אֲשַֽׁלֵּחֲךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־בֵּרַכְתָּֽנִי׃
(23) That same night he arose, and taking his two wives, his two maidservants, and his eleven sons, he crossed the ford of the Jabbok. (24) After taking them across the stream, he sent across all his possessions.
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25) Jacob was left alone. And a figure wrestled (vayei’aveik) with him until the break of dawn. (26) When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he wrenched Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that the socket of his hip was strained as he wrestled (hei'avko) with him.
(27) Then he said, “Let me go, for dawn is breaking.” But he answered, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.”
אבק / Vayei’aveik / Hei'Avko
ויאבק איש. וְלִי נִרְאֶה שֶׁהוּא לְשׁוֹן וַיִּתְקַשֵּׁר, וְלָשׁוֹן אֲרַמִּי הוּא, בָּתַר דַּאֲבִיקוּ בֵיהּ, וַאֲבֵיק לֵיהּ מֵיבַק – לְשׁוֹן עֲנִיבָה, שֶׁכֵּן דֶּרֶךְ שְׁנַיִם שֶׁמִּתְעַצְּמִים לְהַפִּיל אִישׁ אֶת רֵעֵהוּ, שֶׁחוֹבְקוֹ וְאוֹבְקוֹ בִּזְרוֹעוֹתָיו.
ויאבק איש AND A MAN WRESTLED (vayei’aveik) — I am of opinion that it means “he fastened himself on,” and that it is an Aramaic word... It denotes “intertwining”, for such is the manner of two people who make strong efforts to throw each other — one clasps the other and twines himself round him with his arms.
וַיֵּאָבֵק אִישׁ עִמּוֹ ... וְשֶׁמָּא הוּא דַּעַת אוּנְקְלוֹס (תרגום אונקלוס על בראשית ל"ב:כ"ה) שֶׁאָמַר "וְאִשְׁתַּדַּל", וְכָךְ תִּרְגֵּם "וְכִי יְפַתֶּה" (שמות כב טו) "אֲרֵי יְשַׁדֵּל", יְחַבֵּקוִינַשֵּׁק שֶׁהוּא דֶּרֶךְ הַפִּתּוּי, אוֹ שֶׁלֹּא נִזְדַּמֵּן לוֹ לָשׁוֹן וַעֲשָׂאוֹ עִנְיַן תַּחְבּוּלָה, כִּי כָל הִשְׁתַּדְּלוּת תַּחְבּוּלָה וְצִדּוּד עִנְיָן.
‘VAYEI’AVEIK’ A MAN WITH HIM... Perhaps this is the opinion of Onkelos who translated "vayei’aveik," as "v'ishtadeil."
So too he translated the expression, "And if a man ‘yefateh’" as "'If a man yeshadeil,” meaning "if he embraces and kisses which is the manner of seduction." It may be that Onkelos found no word comparable to vayei’aveik...
וְאִשְׁתָּאַר יַעֲקֹב בִּלְחוֹדוֹהִי וְאִשְׁתַּדֵּל גַּבְרָא עִמֵּיהּ עַד דִּסְלֵק צַפְרָא:
Yaakov remained alone, and a man ishtadel"(wrestled / insinuated one's self / won favor / strove / struggled / seduced) with him until daybreak.
Forever Changed
(כח) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר אֵלָ֖יו מַה־שְּׁמֶ֑ךָ וַיֹּ֖אמֶר יַעֲקֹֽב׃ (כט) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר לֹ֤א יַעֲקֹב֙ יֵאָמֵ֥ר עוֹד֙ שִׁמְךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־שָׂרִ֧יתָ עִם־אֱלֹהִ֛ים וְעִם־אֲנָשִׁ֖ים וַתּוּכָֽל׃ (ל) וַיִּשְׁאַ֣ל יַעֲקֹ֗ב וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הַגִּֽידָה־נָּ֣א שְׁמֶ֔ךָ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר לָ֥מָּה זֶּ֖ה תִּשְׁאַ֣ל לִשְׁמִ֑י וַיְבָ֥רֶךְ אֹת֖וֹ שָֽׁם׃ (לא) וַיִּקְרָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב שֵׁ֥ם הַמָּק֖וֹם פְּנִיאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־רָאִ֤יתִי אֱלֹהִים֙ פָּנִ֣ים אֶל־פָּנִ֔ים וַתִּנָּצֵ֖ל נַפְשִֽׁי׃ (לב) וַיִּֽזְרַֽח־ל֣וֹ הַשֶּׁ֔מֶשׁ כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר עָבַ֖ר אֶת־פְּנוּאֵ֑ל וְה֥וּא צֹלֵ֖עַ עַל־יְרֵכֽוֹ׃
(28) Said the other, “What is your name?” He replied, “Jacob.” (29) Said he, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human, and have prevailed.” (30) Jacob asked, “Pray tell me your name.” But he said, “You must not ask my name!” And he took leave of him there. (31) So Jacob named the place Peniel, meaning, “I have seen a divine being face to face, yet my life has been preserved.” (32) The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping on his hip.
The point of the prayer for unexpected intimacy is “that all aspects of our lives are holy if we approach them with a sense of the sacred,” said Rabbi Camille Angel of Sha’ar Zahav.