Dvar Torah: Parashat Hukkat and the Ritual of Shiva

My friend Rabbi Kanaan Goldstein says that there are different types of rabbis: the “death and dying” rabbis, and then, well, those that aren’t. You’ll now find out that I am a death and dying rabbi, someone who approaches the subject of death and the rituals of death and dying with reverence and curiosity. With that preface, let’s turn to the Torah portion, parashat Hukkat.

We’ll open with a look at the Biblical text.
Parashat Hukkat opens with God speaking to Moses and Aaron, saying:

במדבר י״ט:ב׳

(ב) זֹ֚את חֻקַּ֣ת הַתּוֹרָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־צִוָּ֥ה יהוה לֵאמֹ֑ר דַּבֵּ֣ר ׀ אֶל־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל וְיִקְח֣וּ אֵלֶ֩יךָ֩ פָרָ֨ה אֲדֻמָּ֜ה תְּמִימָ֗ה אֲשֶׁ֤ר אֵֽין־בָּהּ֙ מ֔וּם אֲשֶׁ֛ר לֹא־עָלָ֥ה עָלֶ֖יהָ עֹֽל׃

Numbers 19:2

(2)This is the ritual law that יהוה has commanded: Instruct the Israelite people to bring you a red cow without blemish, in which there is no defect and on which no yoke has been laid.

The following verses continue with the instruction of the ritual, explaining how the priest would attend to the red cow, the parah adumah, using its blood to purify, and the process for ritually cleansing himself afterwards.

Without looking ahead in the text- just based on the beginning eleven verses of the parasha - do we yet know what this ritual is for?

Verse two introduces the ritual -זֹ֚את חֻקַּ֣ת הַתּוֹרָ֔ה “this is the ritual law” and verse ten repeats the importance of the ritual:

במדבר י״ט:י׳

(י) וְ֠כִבֶּ֠ס הָאֹסֵ֨ף אֶת־אֵ֤פֶר הַפָּרָה֙ אֶת־בְּגָדָ֔יו וְטָמֵ֖א עַד־הָעָ֑רֶב וְֽהָיְתָ֞ה לִבְנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל וְלַגֵּ֛ר הַגָּ֥ר בְּתוֹכָ֖ם לְחֻקַּ֥ת עוֹלָֽם׃

Numbers 19:10

(10) The one who gathers up the ashes of the cow shall also wash those clothes and be impure until evening. This shall be a permanent law for the Israelites and for the strangers who reside among them.

It’s not until the ritual is described in detail that we are told what it is for, beginning in verse 11.

I don’t know about you, but I am someone who needs to be told the why in order to make sense of the how. Here is a rare instance in the Torah in which we are told what the ritual is, before we are told what the ritual is for.

Keep this in mind as we look at the ritual of the parah adumah.

במדבר י״ט:י״א

(יא) הַנֹּגֵ֥עַ בְּמֵ֖ת לְכׇל־נֶ֣פֶשׁ אָדָ֑ם וְטָמֵ֖א שִׁבְעַ֥ת יָמִֽים׃

Numbers 19:11

(11) Those who touch the corpse of any human being shall be impure for seven days.

Ah, now we know what ritual purpose the parah adumah serves: to purify an individual who becomes tamei, ritually impure, after touching a deceased person.

The rest of the chapter details the procedure for the individual following their touching of a corpse, which leads to a state of ritual impurity for the individual lasting seven days. In fact, the language of seven days - either in the phrase “יּ֥וֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִ֖י” the seventh day, or “שִׁבְעַ֥ת יָמִֽים” seven days, appears seven times in this chapter.

במדבר י״ט

(א) וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר יהוה אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֥ה וְאֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֖ן לֵאמֹֽר׃ (ב) זֹ֚את חֻקַּ֣ת הַתּוֹרָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־צִוָּ֥ה יהוה לֵאמֹ֑ר דַּבֵּ֣ר ׀ אֶל־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל וְיִקְח֣וּ אֵלֶ֩יךָ֩ פָרָ֨ה אֲדֻמָּ֜ה תְּמִימָ֗ה אֲשֶׁ֤ר אֵֽין־בָּהּ֙ מ֔וּם אֲשֶׁ֛ר לֹא־עָלָ֥ה עָלֶ֖יהָ עֹֽל׃ (ג) וּנְתַתֶּ֣ם אֹתָ֔הּ אֶל־אֶלְעָזָ֖ר הַכֹּהֵ֑ן וְהוֹצִ֤יא אֹתָהּ֙ אֶל־מִח֣וּץ לַֽמַּחֲנֶ֔ה וְשָׁחַ֥ט אֹתָ֖הּ לְפָנָֽיו׃ (ד) וְלָקַ֞ח אֶלְעָזָ֧ר הַכֹּהֵ֛ן מִדָּמָ֖הּ בְּאֶצְבָּע֑וֹ וְהִזָּ֞ה אֶל־נֹ֨כַח פְּנֵ֧י אֹֽהֶל־מוֹעֵ֛ד מִדָּמָ֖הּ שֶׁ֥בַע פְּעָמִֽים׃ (ה) וְשָׂרַ֥ף אֶת־הַפָּרָ֖ה לְעֵינָ֑יו אֶת־עֹרָ֤הּ וְאֶת־בְּשָׂרָהּ֙ וְאֶת־דָּמָ֔הּ עַל־פִּרְשָׁ֖הּ יִשְׂרֹֽף׃ (ו) וְלָקַ֣ח הַכֹּהֵ֗ן עֵ֥ץ אֶ֛רֶז וְאֵז֖וֹב וּשְׁנִ֣י תוֹלָ֑עַת וְהִשְׁלִ֕יךְ אֶל־תּ֖וֹךְ שְׂרֵפַ֥ת הַפָּרָֽה׃ (ז) וְכִבֶּ֨ס בְּגָדָ֜יו הַכֹּהֵ֗ן וְרָחַ֤ץ בְּשָׂרוֹ֙ בַּמַּ֔יִם וְאַחַ֖ר יָבֹ֣א אֶל־הַֽמַּחֲנֶ֑ה וְטָמֵ֥א הַכֹּהֵ֖ן עַד־הָעָֽרֶב׃ (ח) וְהַשֹּׂרֵ֣ף אֹתָ֔הּ יְכַבֵּ֤ס בְּגָדָיו֙ בַּמַּ֔יִם וְרָחַ֥ץ בְּשָׂר֖וֹ בַּמָּ֑יִם וְטָמֵ֖א עַד־הָעָֽרֶב׃ (ט) וְאָסַ֣ף ׀ אִ֣ישׁ טָה֗וֹר אֵ֚ת אֵ֣פֶר הַפָּרָ֔ה וְהִנִּ֛יחַ מִח֥וּץ לַֽמַּחֲנֶ֖ה בְּמָק֣וֹם טָה֑וֹר וְ֠הָיְתָ֠ה לַעֲדַ֨ת בְּנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֧ל לְמִשְׁמֶ֛רֶת לְמֵ֥י נִדָּ֖ה חַטָּ֥את הִֽוא׃ (י) וְ֠כִבֶּ֠ס הָאֹסֵ֨ף אֶת־אֵ֤פֶר הַפָּרָה֙ אֶת־בְּגָדָ֔יו וְטָמֵ֖א עַד־הָעָ֑רֶב וְֽהָיְתָ֞ה לִבְנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל וְלַגֵּ֛ר הַגָּ֥ר בְּתוֹכָ֖ם לְחֻקַּ֥ת עוֹלָֽם׃ (יא) הַנֹּגֵ֥עַ בְּמֵ֖ת לְכׇל־נֶ֣פֶשׁ אָדָ֑ם וְטָמֵ֖א שִׁבְעַ֥ת יָמִֽים׃ (יב) ה֣וּא יִתְחַטָּא־ב֞וֹ בַּיּ֧וֹם הַשְּׁלִישִׁ֛י וּבַיּ֥וֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִ֖י יִטְהָ֑ר וְאִם־לֹ֨א יִתְחַטָּ֜א בַּיּ֧וֹם הַשְּׁלִישִׁ֛י וּבַיּ֥וֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִ֖י לֹ֥א יִטְהָֽר׃ (יג) כׇּֽל־הַנֹּגֵ֡עַ בְּמֵ֣ת בְּנֶ֩פֶשׁ֩ הָאָדָ֨ם אֲשֶׁר־יָמ֜וּת וְלֹ֣א יִתְחַטָּ֗א אֶת־מִשְׁכַּ֤ן יהוה טִמֵּ֔א וְנִכְרְתָ֛ה הַנֶּ֥פֶשׁ הַהִ֖וא מִיִּשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כִּי֩ מֵ֨י נִדָּ֜ה לֹא־זֹרַ֤ק עָלָיו֙ טָמֵ֣א יִהְיֶ֔ה ע֖וֹד טֻמְאָת֥וֹ בֽוֹ׃ (יד) זֹ֚את הַתּוֹרָ֔ה אָדָ֖ם כִּֽי־יָמ֣וּת בְּאֹ֑הֶל כׇּל־הַבָּ֤א אֶל־הָאֹ֙הֶל֙ וְכׇל־אֲשֶׁ֣ר בָּאֹ֔הֶל יִטְמָ֖א שִׁבְעַ֥ת יָמִֽים׃ (טו) וְכֹל֙ כְּלִ֣י פָת֔וּחַ אֲשֶׁ֛ר אֵין־צָמִ֥יד פָּתִ֖יל עָלָ֑יו טָמֵ֖א הֽוּא׃ (טז) וְכֹ֨ל אֲשֶׁר־יִגַּ֜ע עַל־פְּנֵ֣י הַשָּׂדֶ֗ה בַּֽחֲלַל־חֶ֙רֶב֙ א֣וֹ בְמֵ֔ת אֽוֹ־בְעֶ֥צֶם אָדָ֖ם א֣וֹ בְקָ֑בֶר יִטְמָ֖א שִׁבְעַ֥ת יָמִֽים׃ (יז) וְלָֽקְחוּ֙ לַטָּמֵ֔א מֵעֲפַ֖ר שְׂרֵפַ֣ת הַֽחַטָּ֑את וְנָתַ֥ן עָלָ֛יו מַ֥יִם חַיִּ֖ים אֶל־כֶּֽלִי׃ (יח) וְלָקַ֨ח אֵז֜וֹב וְטָבַ֣ל בַּמַּ֘יִם֮ אִ֣ישׁ טָהוֹר֒ וְהִזָּ֤ה עַל־הָאֹ֙הֶל֙ וְעַל־כׇּל־הַכֵּלִ֔ים וְעַל־הַנְּפָשׁ֖וֹת אֲשֶׁ֣ר הָֽיוּ־שָׁ֑ם וְעַל־הַנֹּגֵ֗עַ בַּעֶ֙צֶם֙ א֣וֹ בֶֽחָלָ֔ל א֥וֹ בַמֵּ֖ת א֥וֹ בַקָּֽבֶר׃ (יט) וְהִזָּ֤ה הַטָּהֹר֙ עַל־הַטָּמֵ֔א בַּיּ֥וֹם הַשְּׁלִישִׁ֖י וּבַיּ֣וֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִ֑י וְחִטְּאוֹ֙ בַּיּ֣וֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִ֔י וְכִבֶּ֧ס בְּגָדָ֛יו וְרָחַ֥ץ בַּמַּ֖יִם וְטָהֵ֥ר בָּעָֽרֶב׃ (כ) וְאִ֤ישׁ אֲשֶׁר־יִטְמָא֙ וְלֹ֣א יִתְחַטָּ֔א וְנִכְרְתָ֛ה הַנֶּ֥פֶשׁ הַהִ֖וא מִתּ֣וֹךְ הַקָּהָ֑ל כִּי֩ אֶת־מִקְדַּ֨שׁ יהוה טִמֵּ֗א מֵ֥י נִדָּ֛ה לֹא־זֹרַ֥ק עָלָ֖יו טָמֵ֥א הֽוּא׃ (כא) וְהָיְתָ֥ה לָהֶ֖ם לְחֻקַּ֣ת עוֹלָ֑ם וּמַזֵּ֤ה מֵֽי־הַנִּדָּה֙ יְכַבֵּ֣ס בְּגָדָ֔יו וְהַנֹּגֵ֙עַ֙ בְּמֵ֣י הַנִּדָּ֔ה יִטְמָ֖א עַד־הָעָֽרֶב׃ (כב) וְכֹ֛ל אֲשֶׁר־יִגַּע־בּ֥וֹ הַטָּמֵ֖א יִטְמָ֑א וְהַנֶּ֥פֶשׁ הַנֹּגַ֖עַת תִּטְמָ֥א עַד־הָעָֽרֶב׃ {פ}

Numbers 19

(1)יהוה spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying: (2) This is the ritual law that יהוה has commanded: Instruct the Israelite people to bring you a red cow without blemish, in which there is no defect and on which no yoke has been laid. (3) You shall give it to Eleazar the priest. It shall be taken outside the camp and slaughtered in his presence. (4) Eleazar the priest shall take some of its blood with his finger and sprinkle it seven times toward the front of the Tent of Meeting. (5) The cow shall be burned in his sight—its hide, flesh, and blood shall be burned, its dung included— (6) and the priest shall take cedar wood, hyssop, and crimson stuff, and throw them into the fire consuming the cow. (7) The priest shall wash his garments and bathe his body in water; after that the priest may reenter the camp, but he shall be impure until evening. (8) The one who performed the burning shall also wash those garments in water, bathe in water, and be impure until evening. (9) Another party who is pure shall gather up the ashes of the cow and deposit them outside the camp in a pure place, to be kept for water of lustration for the Israelite community. It is for purgation. (10) The one who gathers up the ashes of the cow shall also wash those clothes and be impure until evening. This shall be a permanent law for the Israelites and for the strangers who reside among them. (11) Those who touch the corpse of any human being shall be impure for seven days. (12) They shall purify themselves with [the ashes] on the third day and on the seventh day, and then be pure; if they fail to purify themselves on the third and seventh days, they shall not be pure. (13) Those who touch a corpse, the body of a person who has died, and do not purify themselves, defile יהוה’s Tabernacle; those persons shall be cut off from Israel. Since the water of lustration was not dashed on them, they remain impure; their impurity is still upon them. (14) This is the ritual: When a person dies in a tent, whoever enters the tent and whoever is in the tent shall be impure seven days; (15) and every open vessel, with no lid fastened down, shall be impure. (16) And in the open, anyone who touches a person who was killed or who died naturally, or human bone, or a grave, shall be impure seven days. (17) Some of the ashes from the fire of purgation shall be taken for the impure person, and fresh water shall be added to them in a vessel. (18) Another party who is pure shall take hyssop, dip it in the water, and sprinkle on the tent and on all the vessels and people who were there, or on the one who touched the bones or the person who was killed or died naturally or the grave. (19) The pure person shall sprinkle it upon the impure person on the third day and on the seventh day, thus purifying that person by the seventh day. [The one being purified] shall then wash those clothes and bathe in water—and at nightfall shall be pure. (20) If any party who has become impure fails to undergo purification, that person shall be cut off from the congregation for having defiled יהוה’s sanctuary. The water of lustration was not dashed on that person, who is impure. (21) That shall be for them a law for all time. Further, the one who sprinkled the water of lustration shall wash those clothes; and whoever touches the water of lustration shall be impure until evening. (22) Whatever that impure person touches shall be impure; and the person who touches the impure one shall be impure until evening.

Of course, we know the language of shiva, of seven, from the seven days of mourning following a burial.

In traditional observance, a mourner during the period of shiva is forbidden from mixing socially and from engaging in business.

Rabbi Maurice Lamm, in his seminal work The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning, writes of this that “Mourning is an in-depth experience in loneliness. The ties that bind one soul to another have been severed and there is a gnawing sense of solitude…”
The mourner sits in low chairs, close to the ground, close to the very earth on which the mourner’s relative is interred, and matching the mourner’s desolate, lowered emotional state.

An individual who touches a corpse, an individual who has a close encounter with death, is given the time to sit with that encounter:
to separate from day-to-day life, really, to sit with it, to acknowledge that all is not well, that a being who was once alive is no longer alive.

This impacts us, whether we physically touch the deceased, as in the case we read in the Torah today, or whether we are bereaved of them.

When we become unbalanced by death, this ritual teaching, this חֻקַּ֣ת הַתּוֹרָ֔ה, comes to teach us that there is a structure built in to support us.

Of course you will be unbalanced by death!, the Torah says.
Of course! And here is a ritual that will help you address that.

In fact, the acknowledgement that death is so unbalancing,
this acknowledgement is so essential that we are told how to prepare for it before we are told what it is we are preparing for! The Torah is saying, you will need this, first know that you need this, and then I’ll tell you why.

If we turn back to the Torah text, the opening of Numbers 19

במדבר י״ט:ב׳

Numbers 19:2

(2) This is the ritual law that יהוה has commanded: Instruct the Israelite people to bring you a red cow without blemish, in which there is no defect and on which no yoke has been laid.

we read that God is instructing Moses and Aaron to give these instructions to בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל, the Israelite people. Not to an individual person who encounters a deceased body, but to the Israelite people.

And we see that the ritual involves a multitude of people: Eleazar, the high priest, other priests, the individual involved in the gathering of the ashes, and the individual involved in the purification rituals of the person waiting out their seven-day period.

This is to say, the person who is touched by death does not deal with this alone. This is a law given over to all of bnei Yisrael; though each person’s grief is unique, we are all in it.

And thus we say the traditional words of mourning
: הַמָּקוֹם יְנַחֵם אֶתְכֶם בְּתוֹךְ שְׁאָר אֲבֵלֵי צִיּוֹן וִירוּשָׁלַיִם,
May God comfort you among the rest of the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

There will be times when we are the comforters, and times when we are the mourners; perhaps you are inhabiting one of these states now.

Eventually, there will be a time when we are the one being mourned.

May the memory of those whom we mourn for be a blessing, and may we as mourners fully feel the weight of the loss, allowing the rituals and our community to hold us.

Shabbat shalom.